Calvin19 0 #1 October 24, 2006 Ok, so 11 months ago, before i crashed, THREE days after i crashed, i would have had a vasectomy appointment, with the Urologist to see me and why i wanted a vasectomy. Now, i am mostly recovered, and the appointment is on the 2nd. I need to know what to say to the Doc, I need to be able to convince him that this is a good idea for me. I am 22 years old, birthday may 20, 1984 I KNOW that i never want kids, I know that i would be a bad father, a bad husband, etc. so, what should i bring? what should i say? please help. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cocheese 0 #2 October 24, 2006 Tell them you don't need an excuse for an abortion do you? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Elisha 1 #3 October 24, 2006 You're only 22. Wait. You don't know anything yet. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ACMESkydiver 0 #4 October 24, 2006 I don't know. You might want to tell him that you're not interested in ever being a father or committing to one woman, and that you may become very sexually active in the future and are against abortion and/or child support? I dunno.~Jaye Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Calvin19 0 #5 October 24, 2006 QuoteYou're only 22. Wait. You don't know anything yet. WTFO? so what if i am 22? what soes thathave to do with anything? I know i want this, I have been wanting it since i was 16. do YOU have a problem with this? or is it just an insult? -SPACE- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Icon134 0 #6 October 24, 2006 Quotedo YOU have a problem with this? or is it just an insult?I think the person was merely giving an opinion and it should be taken that way. I think you should tell the doc that "Its your life and you'll live it how you chose. and in this case that means getting a Vasectomy at 22 years old." Its just my opinion but if you don't want to have children you certainly shouldn't have children.Livin' on the Edge... sleeping with my rigger's wife... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
billeisele 122 #7 October 24, 2006 QuoteQuoteYou're only 22. Wait. You don't know anything yet. WTFO? so what if i am 22? what soes thathave to do with anything? I know i want this, I have been wanting it since i was 16. do YOU have a problem with this? or is it just an insult? this thread will be fun to follow i'm more than twice your age, have a 150+ IQ and every day I realize how much I don't know, all i can say is you may want to wait, snip-snip is hard/impossible to reverseGive one city to the thugs so they can all live together. I vote for Chicago where they have strict gun laws. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Calvin19 0 #8 October 24, 2006 Quote Its just my opinion but if you don't want to have children you certainly shouldn't have children. thank you. and it is if this very respectable, very good Urologist does NOT do it for me, than i will get it from a less respectable, planned parenthood kinda place. and i hope that will work as an argument. -SPACE- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Skyrad 0 #9 October 24, 2006 QuoteQuoteYou're only 22. Wait. You don't know anything yet. WTFO? so what if i am 22? what soes thathave to do with anything? I know i want this, I have been wanting it since i was 16. do YOU have a problem with this? or is it just an insult? i don'tthink he ment it as in insult. The person you are when you're 22 is not the same person at 32When an author is too meticulous about his style, you may presume that his mind is frivolous and his content flimsy. Lucius Annaeus Seneca Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Calvin19 0 #10 October 24, 2006 Quote , have a 150+ IQ and every day I realize how much I don't know, all i can say is you may want to wait, snip-snip is hard/impossible to reverse smart bitch. Im IQ 143. But in my journal, i keep a numbered list of reasons i dont want children, or hate children. last time i wrote one in it was up to about 840ish. i might type it up someday. im sure there is repeats, a bunch. but oh well. best baby line''' (baby screaming in moab diner restaraunt saturday morning).... the place was silent besides the stupid kid, i YELLED- "THROW IT AWAY!!.... ITS BROKEN!!!!) Im glad everyone laughed, but kinda sad that they thought i was jokeing. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Michele 1 #11 October 24, 2006 Quotewhat if i am 22? what soes thathave to do with anything? I know i want this, I have been wanting it since i was 16. do YOU have a problem with this? My brother went through that, too. He'd said all his life that he didn't want children, didn't ever plan on having kids, and wasn't ever going to want to. He went to the family Dr. and told him that, and told him that he wanted a vasectomy. My family Dr. told him to wait, to see if that really was his choice. The produndity of Dr.s comment was simply this: someday, you might meet a woman who wants children. And you want to give them to her. When that time comes, you will regret that you had a vasectomy. So wait for a while until you see how your life plays out. Use a condom instead, and have her use birth control. But wait. That statement, told to my brother when he was about your age and knowing the idential things you know, prevented my brother from having a vasectomy. I have two neices and a nephew now, thanks to my family Dr,s wisdom and foresight. I'd suggest you wait a while. You might indeed find the woman of your dreams. You might indeed want to create life with her. And if that's so, what a horrible thing to realize you can't - because of a decision made when you were single, young, and disillusioned. What you do with your body isn't my concern. But, as I see it, you've got some living to do before you really realize what you want, and what your life will be. 'Til then, don't do something which is nearly impossible to reverse *(and I say nearly because it can be done on occasion...not something to count on). So wait...it can't hurt. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Calvin19 0 #12 October 24, 2006 QuoteQuoteQuoteYou're only 22. Wait. You don't know anything yet. i don'tthink he ment it as in insult. The person you are when you're 22 is not the same person at 32 i understand, and agree. its just that part of the reason i want to do this is political, Humanitarian. I think maybe the worst thing a human can do for the future of the human race is reproduce. by the way, I froze up some of my swimmers, so thats always an option. i only did that to upease the Urologist. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Calvin19 0 #13 October 24, 2006 GRRRRR! i was asking for help to convince the cockologist to do this, not TALK MY OUT OF IT! do you people think i havent heard all this from my mother? or FATHER? or best freinds? Girlfreind? My GF does not want to take BC because she believes its bad for her. she said that she does not want her own kids ever, but she would addopt. and i really respect all of that. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Calvin19 0 #14 October 24, 2006 Quote*** But, as I see it, you've got some living to do before you really realize what you want, and what your life will be. your right, i have some liveing to do. and being a father would DESTROY my life. maybe not yours, or someone elses, but it would END mine. I dont sleep around, well, not lately , and i have never made a mess of a bed with any girl that i didnt know her sexual history. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites MarkM 0 #15 October 24, 2006 Quote Use a condom instead, and have her use birth control. But wait. Except that condoms can and do fail, so if he really doesn't ever want children and he's sure, a vasectomy is a safe option. But to the OP, I wouldn't go with a "I know I'd be a bad father" route though, it sounds too emotional, like you should be talking about it with a psychologist and not a MD. And views like that change throughout your life. I wouldn't have ever seen myself as a father at 22, but I know I could be a pretty good one now at 35. But really I don't know what you should say, considering you aren't listing your reasons here at all. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites lisamariewillbe 1 #16 October 25, 2006 Just show the doctor where you posted that you would kill a girl before she gave birth to your baby. Tell him your just protecting your ass so you dont end up in jail one day literally protecting your ass.Sudsy Fist: i don't think i'd ever say this Sudsy Fist: but you're looking damn sudsydoable in this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Michele 1 #17 October 25, 2006 Quoteyour right, i have some liveing to do. and being a father would DESTROY my life. maybe not yours, or someone elses, but it would END mine. At 22? You best believe it would affect (in your words, end) your life. So don't get a girl pregnant right now. Use a condom, and have her find alternative methods of birth control (diaphragms, for example). But there may come a time where you want to be a father to your own offspring; it did with my brother, after 13 years of marriage and saying "we'll adopt if we want them". So things do change. As for your girlfriend, she's the one you don't see as being the one you're with for the rest of your life - according to your posts recently about love, the lack of it, and wanting to find it eventually. Wait until you are sure that the woman you're with is the one you want to marry and spend the rest of your life with before you decide to make a permanent decision based on her wants and needs. And also, realize things change. At 22, I had very clear and real opinions on things, as did my brother. I look back now, and realize that I am not the same person I was then, and the decisions I made then were right for the time, but not right for the rest of my life. Thankfully, I didn't make any decisions which were permanent and/or irrevocable, and have made changes since then to rectify/change that. What I'm trying to get at is simply this: wait. There's no harm in waiting, as long as you take the other precautions (which you should anyway...you can't ever know the other's history completely; they might not know their history completely, you know? And might not tell you if they did). Wait. Things look different at 25 from 22, and very different from 35 to 22. Just wait. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Michele 1 #18 October 25, 2006 ***Except that condoms can and do fail, so if he really doesn't ever want children and he's sure, a vasectomy is a safe option. [/quotpe] Agreed about the condom failure. My thoughts are more along the lines of as invincible and sure as you feel at 22, the world changes, and you change with it. Further, to get a vasectomy so as to not need to use condoms is a potentially lethal decision... Hey, it's not my body, and it's not my boyfriend. As I said, what he does with his body is his concern. But I have a different opinion, and I've been saying it... Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Squeak 17 #19 October 25, 2006 I agree with you, hell i'll do it for you if you want...I would loath to think that you in any way contribute to the Gene pool, your attitude and arrogance is unbelievable (and comming from me that means it BAD) to think of you raising offspring is scary. So find what ever means you need to make certain it's carried out Allah knows we dont need more people like you Edit to Add OR MEYou are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky) My Life ROCKS! How's yours doing? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites MarkM 0 #20 October 25, 2006 You know while I personally wouldn't agree with getting a vasectomy done at 22, a part of me is also a little disturbed that the guy needs to put forth some sort of compelling arguement to have it done. Not really to you(you're just arguing your opinion), but to some doctor. I mean, if an 18 year old girl went in to have an abortion, would she have to lay out some compelling case why she didn't want to be a mother for the rest of her life? Why she might not change her mind in 10 years and really want that child? Or is it her body, her rights? I mean, the guy isn't even killing off his sperm, let alone an unborn child, just stopping it from going to point A to point B, permanently(assuming it can't be reversed later). I don't see where it isn't his right to have it done, whatever his reasons. He can join the army, go overseas and get his head blown off which is a permanent life affecting decision, so I don't see why being snipped should require any more proof of maturity. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites NWFlyer 2 #21 October 25, 2006 QuoteYou know while I personally wouldn't agree with getting a vasectomy done at 22, a part of me is also a little disturbed that the guy needs to put forth some sort of compelling arguement to have it done. Not really to you(you're just arguing your opinion), but to some doctor. I mean, if an 18 year old girl went in to have an abortion, would she have to lay out some compelling case why she didn't want to be a mother for the rest of her life? Why she might not change her mind in 10 years and really want that child? A more appropriate analogy would be a woman going in and asking to have a tubal ligation before she's ever had kids. From what I have heard (have not asked myself) physicians will work very hard to talk women out of having their tubes tied unless they've already had kids. So the pressure is there on both sides, if not stronger for women."There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Squeak 17 #22 October 25, 2006 Quote*** Hey, it's not my body, and it's not my boyfriend. As I said, what he does with his body is his concern. But I have a different opinion, and I've been saying it... Ciels- Michele Can ya say it in less words Michelle, you write wonderfully, but i cant concentrate that longYou are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky) My Life ROCKS! How's yours doing? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites wrightskyguy 1 #23 October 25, 2006 QuoteWTFO? so what if i am 22? what soes thathave to do with anything? I know i want this, I have been wanting it since i was 16. do YOU have a problem with this? or is it just an insult? *** You're so right! What right does anyone have to give you advice. You're 22 after all and everyone knows that the way you see things now is how you'll always see them. It's kinda like having your girlfriends name tatooed on you forehead. John Wright World's most beloved skydiver Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Michele 1 #24 October 25, 2006 QuoteA more appropriate analogy would be a woman going in and asking to have a tubal ligation before she's ever had kids. From what I have heard (have not asked myself) physicians will work very hard to talk women out of having their tubes tied unless they've already had kids. So the pressure is there on both sides, if not stronger for women. Thanks, Krisanne. That's a good comparison. And yes, women are pressured to not make that sort of decision until they've either had kids or are older...or at least justify it pretty thoroughly just like guys do. As to why the need to justify the procedure, it's because so many people (both men and women) have tried to get the procedure reversed; because young people tend to be less deliberative in their decision, and because the decision is a medical procedure that does invade the body, has consequences, and carries risks. It does have emotional/mental consequences, too, and those have to be considered as well. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites MyTwoCents 0 #25 October 25, 2006 QuoteI think maybe the worst thing a human can do for the future of the human race is reproduce. Can you explain why? 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Calvin19 0 #13 October 24, 2006 GRRRRR! i was asking for help to convince the cockologist to do this, not TALK MY OUT OF IT! do you people think i havent heard all this from my mother? or FATHER? or best freinds? Girlfreind? My GF does not want to take BC because she believes its bad for her. she said that she does not want her own kids ever, but she would addopt. and i really respect all of that. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Calvin19 0 #14 October 24, 2006 Quote*** But, as I see it, you've got some living to do before you really realize what you want, and what your life will be. your right, i have some liveing to do. and being a father would DESTROY my life. maybe not yours, or someone elses, but it would END mine. I dont sleep around, well, not lately , and i have never made a mess of a bed with any girl that i didnt know her sexual history. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MarkM 0 #15 October 24, 2006 Quote Use a condom instead, and have her use birth control. But wait. Except that condoms can and do fail, so if he really doesn't ever want children and he's sure, a vasectomy is a safe option. But to the OP, I wouldn't go with a "I know I'd be a bad father" route though, it sounds too emotional, like you should be talking about it with a psychologist and not a MD. And views like that change throughout your life. I wouldn't have ever seen myself as a father at 22, but I know I could be a pretty good one now at 35. But really I don't know what you should say, considering you aren't listing your reasons here at all. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lisamariewillbe 1 #16 October 25, 2006 Just show the doctor where you posted that you would kill a girl before she gave birth to your baby. Tell him your just protecting your ass so you dont end up in jail one day literally protecting your ass.Sudsy Fist: i don't think i'd ever say this Sudsy Fist: but you're looking damn sudsydoable in this Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Michele 1 #17 October 25, 2006 Quoteyour right, i have some liveing to do. and being a father would DESTROY my life. maybe not yours, or someone elses, but it would END mine. At 22? You best believe it would affect (in your words, end) your life. So don't get a girl pregnant right now. Use a condom, and have her find alternative methods of birth control (diaphragms, for example). But there may come a time where you want to be a father to your own offspring; it did with my brother, after 13 years of marriage and saying "we'll adopt if we want them". So things do change. As for your girlfriend, she's the one you don't see as being the one you're with for the rest of your life - according to your posts recently about love, the lack of it, and wanting to find it eventually. Wait until you are sure that the woman you're with is the one you want to marry and spend the rest of your life with before you decide to make a permanent decision based on her wants and needs. And also, realize things change. At 22, I had very clear and real opinions on things, as did my brother. I look back now, and realize that I am not the same person I was then, and the decisions I made then were right for the time, but not right for the rest of my life. Thankfully, I didn't make any decisions which were permanent and/or irrevocable, and have made changes since then to rectify/change that. What I'm trying to get at is simply this: wait. There's no harm in waiting, as long as you take the other precautions (which you should anyway...you can't ever know the other's history completely; they might not know their history completely, you know? And might not tell you if they did). Wait. Things look different at 25 from 22, and very different from 35 to 22. Just wait. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Michele 1 #18 October 25, 2006 ***Except that condoms can and do fail, so if he really doesn't ever want children and he's sure, a vasectomy is a safe option. [/quotpe] Agreed about the condom failure. My thoughts are more along the lines of as invincible and sure as you feel at 22, the world changes, and you change with it. Further, to get a vasectomy so as to not need to use condoms is a potentially lethal decision... Hey, it's not my body, and it's not my boyfriend. As I said, what he does with his body is his concern. But I have a different opinion, and I've been saying it... Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Squeak 17 #19 October 25, 2006 I agree with you, hell i'll do it for you if you want...I would loath to think that you in any way contribute to the Gene pool, your attitude and arrogance is unbelievable (and comming from me that means it BAD) to think of you raising offspring is scary. So find what ever means you need to make certain it's carried out Allah knows we dont need more people like you Edit to Add OR MEYou are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky) My Life ROCKS! How's yours doing? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MarkM 0 #20 October 25, 2006 You know while I personally wouldn't agree with getting a vasectomy done at 22, a part of me is also a little disturbed that the guy needs to put forth some sort of compelling arguement to have it done. Not really to you(you're just arguing your opinion), but to some doctor. I mean, if an 18 year old girl went in to have an abortion, would she have to lay out some compelling case why she didn't want to be a mother for the rest of her life? Why she might not change her mind in 10 years and really want that child? Or is it her body, her rights? I mean, the guy isn't even killing off his sperm, let alone an unborn child, just stopping it from going to point A to point B, permanently(assuming it can't be reversed later). I don't see where it isn't his right to have it done, whatever his reasons. He can join the army, go overseas and get his head blown off which is a permanent life affecting decision, so I don't see why being snipped should require any more proof of maturity. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NWFlyer 2 #21 October 25, 2006 QuoteYou know while I personally wouldn't agree with getting a vasectomy done at 22, a part of me is also a little disturbed that the guy needs to put forth some sort of compelling arguement to have it done. Not really to you(you're just arguing your opinion), but to some doctor. I mean, if an 18 year old girl went in to have an abortion, would she have to lay out some compelling case why she didn't want to be a mother for the rest of her life? Why she might not change her mind in 10 years and really want that child? A more appropriate analogy would be a woman going in and asking to have a tubal ligation before she's ever had kids. From what I have heard (have not asked myself) physicians will work very hard to talk women out of having their tubes tied unless they've already had kids. So the pressure is there on both sides, if not stronger for women."There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Squeak 17 #22 October 25, 2006 Quote*** Hey, it's not my body, and it's not my boyfriend. As I said, what he does with his body is his concern. But I have a different opinion, and I've been saying it... Ciels- Michele Can ya say it in less words Michelle, you write wonderfully, but i cant concentrate that longYou are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky) My Life ROCKS! How's yours doing? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wrightskyguy 1 #23 October 25, 2006 QuoteWTFO? so what if i am 22? what soes thathave to do with anything? I know i want this, I have been wanting it since i was 16. do YOU have a problem with this? or is it just an insult? *** You're so right! What right does anyone have to give you advice. You're 22 after all and everyone knows that the way you see things now is how you'll always see them. It's kinda like having your girlfriends name tatooed on you forehead. John Wright World's most beloved skydiver Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Michele 1 #24 October 25, 2006 QuoteA more appropriate analogy would be a woman going in and asking to have a tubal ligation before she's ever had kids. From what I have heard (have not asked myself) physicians will work very hard to talk women out of having their tubes tied unless they've already had kids. So the pressure is there on both sides, if not stronger for women. Thanks, Krisanne. That's a good comparison. And yes, women are pressured to not make that sort of decision until they've either had kids or are older...or at least justify it pretty thoroughly just like guys do. As to why the need to justify the procedure, it's because so many people (both men and women) have tried to get the procedure reversed; because young people tend to be less deliberative in their decision, and because the decision is a medical procedure that does invade the body, has consequences, and carries risks. It does have emotional/mental consequences, too, and those have to be considered as well. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites MyTwoCents 0 #25 October 25, 2006 QuoteI think maybe the worst thing a human can do for the future of the human race is reproduce. Can you explain why? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Prev 1 2 3 4 5 6 Next Page 1 of 9 Join the conversation You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account. Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible. Reply to this topic... × Pasted as rich text. Paste as plain text instead Only 75 emoji are allowed. × Your link has been automatically embedded. Display as a link instead × Your previous content has been restored. Clear editor × You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL. Insert image from URL × Desktop Tablet Phone Submit Reply 0
Michele 1 #24 October 25, 2006 QuoteA more appropriate analogy would be a woman going in and asking to have a tubal ligation before she's ever had kids. From what I have heard (have not asked myself) physicians will work very hard to talk women out of having their tubes tied unless they've already had kids. So the pressure is there on both sides, if not stronger for women. Thanks, Krisanne. That's a good comparison. And yes, women are pressured to not make that sort of decision until they've either had kids or are older...or at least justify it pretty thoroughly just like guys do. As to why the need to justify the procedure, it's because so many people (both men and women) have tried to get the procedure reversed; because young people tend to be less deliberative in their decision, and because the decision is a medical procedure that does invade the body, has consequences, and carries risks. It does have emotional/mental consequences, too, and those have to be considered as well. Ciels- Michele ~Do Angels keep the dreams we seek While our hearts lie bleeding?~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
MyTwoCents 0 #25 October 25, 2006 QuoteI think maybe the worst thing a human can do for the future of the human race is reproduce. Can you explain why? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
