waltappel 1 #1 December 8, 2005 What started out as posting a couple of funny stories seems to have turned into a series. In case you missed the earlier postings, here are some links: "Maybe the greenies don't like it when you act like a fool...": A true story about just how stupid I can get when I'm really frustrated. "More Stupid HumanTricks": A story of me getting stupid with some hot sauce. "My Visit to a Bordello": Just like the title says... "One more reason to hate the doctor's office": Nipple infections are not fun but can be funny. "I am a bad man when I get bored": My encounter with a perv in a laundromat I think I pretty much wore out the idea of weirdness with the "perv in the laundromat" posting, so I have decided to try a bit of "damage control" by posting something that rates much lower on the weirdness scale. This one is about a BASE site (building) scouting trip that went really, really wrong, but somehow we managed to not get arrested. "Hey Walt, I found a really laid-back building that I think I can jump easy as shit! Wanna come scout it out with me?!!!" It was a good friend of mine, whom I'll call "Mr. 460", who had developed (and still has) quite an addiction to BASE jumping. He is a very smart, experienced, very-active BASE jumper. So what was he doing calling me? That, as it turns out, is a very good question. Among people who use parachutes for fun, I'd have to say that BASE jumpers are the wiliest, most cunning of the breed, and among BASE jumpers, people who enjoy jumping buildings long after construction is finished and they have become fully occupied are cunning indeed. There are some really smart BASE jumpers around. I never was one, though. I have pretty much retired from BASE, but what kept me alive, intact, and out of jail was my intuitive ability to recognize who the smart people are, and learn what they do. That's exacty what I did and I used that knowledge to write a series of articles on BASE jumping, which I posted on the old rec.skydiving newsgroup. Many years later, they are still circulating out there in one form or another and virtually everything in those articles is still considered to be "best practice" even today. When I met Mr. 460, he was a fledgling BASE jumper and one of the true legends of the sport, "Dead" Steve Morrell, had taken him under his wing to teach him about the sport. I was a friend of Steve's and it was on one of Steve's BASE trips that I met Mr. 460. Later on, 460 would move to the city where I lived and turn into a BASE jumping fiend who would jump everything in sight. Along the way, I shared with 460 everything I knew about BASE. It didn't take him long to become an outstanding BASE jumper in his own right. It was during this time he had found the building that had gotten him so excited. What he didn't know when he called was that I had already had a few beers and was catching a great buzz. That's not a good thing when scouting a BASE site. I wasn't about to let common sense deter me from some fun on that night, though! It was a warm summer night and 460 and I were going to a tall office building. One of the primary rules for scouting a potential BASE site is to blend in; the idea is to look like you belong there and not stand out. You don't want to be noticed. Not at all! So how does one "blend in"? Most of it is simply how you dress. If you are scouting a building under construction, you dress like a construction worker. For an occupied building, you can dress like a maintenance guy, office worker, or whatever. We, and I use the term "we" very loosely in this case, were going to dress like office workers. "Shit, Walt, how about putting on a shirt that isn't so fucking bright?!!!". By the time 460 had reached my place I was dressed in a pair of Dockers and a red polo shirt. Not just any shade of red. It took the concept of red to a whole new level. Imagine the brightest, loudest, whoriest-looking shade of red lipstick you have ever seen. Now turn the intensity way up. That is the shade of red shirt I was wearing. "Don't worry about it", I said. "I work in an office building every day and dress like this all the time at work. It will be no problem. Trust me!!!" (Famous last words!) We ran into a bit of a snag before leaving, though. While BASE jumpers are not inherently criminals, there is an inherent need for most BASE jumpers to learn some criminal skills--particularly those who jump occupied buildings. Building security personnel and systems have gotten quite sophisticated and if you want to avoid detection and possibly arrest, you have to be at least as sophisticated in your approach to scouting a bulding. Scouting a building can require some "tools of the trade". In this case, I wanted to take a scanner so I could scan for and find the building security department's radio frequencies. I also wanted to take a lockpick set in case the door to the roof was locked. The scanner was way bigger than the average pocket could accomodate and the lockpick set was not much smaller. James Bond would have been proud of that lockpick set! In my alcohol-soaked mind, the solution was obvious. I would wear a trench coat that had pockets big enough to hold the scanner and picks. Picture this for a moment. It is a warm summer night with not a cloud in the sky and certainly no rain in the forecast. I was wearing a the loudest red shirt in history and a trench coat, and I was going to walk into an office building where I had no reason to be. This means walking right past security and engaging in activities where getting noticed is a really, really bad thing. I was all set to make the short list of nominees for "Dumbass of the Year". So anyway, I somehow got 460 to go along with my dumbass plan and we headed off to the building. He parked in the parking lot right in front in case we had to make a really fast escape. Then we walked in, exuding the kind of confidence that comes from either really knowing what you are doing or from having one beer to many. We got in the stairway and headed for the top. Once there, we examined the door very carefully for any signs of intrusion detection, like magnetic alarm contacts. None were visible. "Ok [460]", I said, "I don't see any magnetic contacts, but that does NOT mean there aren't any. They can be flush-mounted in the door and doorframe and can also be mounted outside. I'm going to try to open the door. If it is unlocked and we get it open, the first thing we need to do is listen for any kind of alarm sound and look for any type of magnetic contacts that might be part of an alarm system. If there is an alarm sound or if there are any contacts, we're still Ok because it will take the security people a while to get here. I'm thinking we will have at most, one minute to scope out the launch point and then get the hell out of here. Are you ready?" "Yeah, let's do it!" The door opened with no problem. There was no alarm sound, but there were magnetic contacts on the outside. "Fuck man, there's an alarm system. Let's check out the exit point and get the fuck out of here!" 460 was starting to think that this situation was developing some real potential for going downhill in a hurry. I casually walked over to the exit point and was absolutely floored by what I saw. This was by far and away the easiest exit point I had seen. Usually the exit point is on a retaining wall at least a few feet high. Not this one, though. It was an easy step up and was really wide. Man, this was deluxe! I stood there enjoying the view from that magnificent exit point and wishing like hell we had our gear with us. Jumping this would be a real piece of cake! 460 was starting to get concerned and pointed out to me that the clock was ticking. "Shit man, we've got at least another 20 seconds! Dude, this exit point rocks!" Anyway, I finally came around and decided we had better get out of there. We went back in the stairway and started hauling ass down the stairs, looking at the signs on the doors leading into the stairway. "Reentry This Level" was the magic phrase we were looking for, and we found it quite often. Unfortunately, every fucking one of those doors was locked!!! Yep, this situation was starting to go downhill in a hurry. We started trying the door on every floor to see if we could get out of the stairway. After 10 or 20 tries, we finally found one and got off on that floor. We immediately realized that this floor was not intended for public access at all. There was no receptionist's area or anything like that. It was nothing but desks and cubicles. "Let's get the fuck out of here!" We went back to the stairs and had gone down only a flight or two when a security guy came out the door we had just been through. "Can I help you?", he asked. 460 started explaining to him that we were just "looking for a way back in" and the guy responded by asking what floor we wanted to get to. As I started hauling ass down the stairs, I was kind of impressed that 460 was actually managing to come up with some sort of bullshit answer for the guy. It didn't matter, though, because the mere fact that I was hauling ass down the stairs confirmed every single suspicion the security guy might have had about us. 460 started hauling ass right behind me. We ran like hell down those stairs until we figured we had some sort of decent lead on the security guy, then we started trying doors again and finally found one. This floor looked FAR friendlier than the one we had been on earlier, but it didn't matter. We were in deep shit. We found the restroom and went in there to talk about what we were going to do. It had become obvious to us by that point that we needed to split up. Security was going to be looking for two guys. 460 suggested that we might also want to trade clothes. I didn't think that would do much good and, as it would turn out, 460 later would have reason to be truly grateful that we had not swapped clothes. The plan was for one of us to go to the elevator, take it directly down the the first floor and go to the car. The remaining guy would wait ten minutes and do the same thing. 460 won the coin toss and decided to go first. "See ya'" "Good luck, dude." Under most circumstances, ten minutes is not a very long time. Under these circumstances, though, time seemed to stand still. I spent the time finding a place to stash my "tools of the trade" because I did not want to have them on me when I was trying to get out of the building. I figured I could always retrieve them at a later time since this was much more of a publicly-accessible floor. As I would find out later, 460 had quite an encounter on his way out. Here is what he experienced while I was killing off ten very long minutes. He got in the elevator and unfortunately it wasn't the empty elevator he had been hoping for. It wasn't even his second choice of being an elevator with one or two office workers on it. Nope, not at all. The elevator was occupied by a tall, huge black security guard who looked like he was not in a very good mood. Could life get any worse? In a word, "yes"! As they were going on the longest elevator ride of 460's life, the security guard gave him a stern look and asked, "You seen a guy wearing a red shirt?". "Why no sir, I haven't" [long thick silence and pure tension filled the rest of the elevator ride] 460 is a nice guy. He's an easy-going guy. You don't want to get him backed into a corner, though, because he can get a bit excited. He got off the elevator, came around the corner and saw in the lobby what could only be described as a CODE RED SECURITY ALERT!!!! He was about a hundred feet from the door and it looked like he might have to "run the gauntlet" to get out of there. Mentally, he was ready for the fight of his life. As he briskly walked toward the front door, he was prepared for an onrush of security guards that would scare the hell out of any defensive line the National Football League had to offer. It's not paranoia when they really are out to get you. Thankfully, they just let him go. In fact, the security guy we saw in the stairway opened the door for him! 460 walked to his car and got the hell out of there. Back to my part of the "ten minutes o' pure fun". I had hidden my tools of the trade, took a couple of deep breaths, and punched the down button at the elevator. My heart was pounding hard and I was sweating. This might get ugly. When the elevator arrived, it was empty and I went down to the first floor. As I rounded the corner and I saw what looked like a security guard convention!!! Holy shit!!! There was only one thing to do--walk through there like I owned the fucking place! I walked toward the front door and, as I got closer, I saw several security guards surrounding someone who was sitting on a bench. "Fuck, they got [460]!!! Shit!!!!", I thought. I kept walking and saw that no, it was not 460. I was almost to that glorious front door that I had been fantasizing about! Just before I reached the door, it opened. In fact, it was opened by the security guy from the stairwell. What do you say in a situation like that? I turned to the same place I have turned to for many years for divine inspiration during a time of personal crisis. Television. Do you remember those old Grey Poupon TV ads where one limousine pulls next to another, the window rolls down on one, and the guys says, "Pardon me, do you have any Grey Poupon?". Yep, that's what I said. I just left out the "do you have any Grey Poupon" part. As I walked past Mr. Security Guy, I said, in my best upper-crust voice, "Pardon meeeeeeeeeeee". Like I've said many times before, just like Forrest Gump, I am not a smart man. It didn't seem to matter in this case, though. I walked out the door and saw no sign of the car or 460. I had no doubt he had stepped into some really deep shit and had to get out of there in a real hurry. As I walked through the parking lot toward the street, a carload of security guys was trailing me by about 20 feet. I crossed the street, went down a street leading into a residential neighborhood, and ducked down the first dark side street that I saw. I needed a place to hide. The carload of security guys had gone away. I walked down the dark sidewalk and way down toward the end of the block I could see a dark figure in the shadows. Could it be?!!!! As I got closer, I saw that indeed it was. It was 460!!!! Needless to say, we got the fuck out of there and went for a beer. In case you're wondering, he did jump the building. Since I fucked up the scouting trip, I drove getaway. It was in broad daylight during rush hour traffic and although it was a really, really close call, we got away with it. Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RhondaLea 3 #2 December 8, 2005 I posted a link to this in the Base Zone, Walt. You really need to tell more of these tales. For anyone who's interested, the articles Walt wrote can be found at http://web.archive.org/web/20010410224843/http://www.afn.org/skydive/base/ rlIf you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
brits17 0 #3 December 8, 2005 Hahahaha!!! You guys are hilarious Dang we all need to get together for some more storytelling time. 460 came by Zen's last night and brought some old BASE mags and pictures (I think you're in a couple walt) and it was totally rad seeing the Texas Commerce on the cover of the base magazine. Ya'll crazy fucks. _______________________ aerialkinetics.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
faulknerwn 36 #4 December 8, 2005 Great stories! Keep em coming! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JaapSuter 0 #5 December 8, 2005 Hey Walt, Do you mind if I copy this one into the story section of BASE WIKI? Thanks! Jaap Suter Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waltappel 1 #6 December 8, 2005 QuoteI posted a link to this in the Base Zone, Walt. You really need to tell more of these tales. For anyone who's interested, the articles Walt wrote can be found at http://web.archive.org/web/20010410224843/http://www.afn.org/skydive/base/ rl Coming from you, that is really, really flattering. Thankyou for that. Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waltappel 1 #7 December 8, 2005 QuoteHahahaha!!! You guys are hilarious Dang we all need to get together for some more storytelling time. 460 came by Zen's last night and brought some old BASE mags and pictures (I think you're in a couple walt) and it was totally rad seeing the Texas Commerce on the cover of the base magazine. Ya'll crazy fucks. Actually, I'm a lot more impressed with you that I am with myself. I know for a fact that you've got at least one really badass BASE story because I was at Zennie's and heard you telling it the night after it happened. I am very flattered, though. Thankyou for the kind words. Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waltappel 1 #8 December 8, 2005 QuoteGreat stories! Keep em coming! You've got it, my friend. Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lindercles 0 #9 December 8, 2005 i've seriously got to get out to houston one day to hear some of these stories! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waltappel 1 #10 December 8, 2005 QuoteHey Walt, Do you mind if I copy this one into the story section of BASE WIKI? Thanks! Jaap Suter I just looked at the list of authors in the story section. I would be honored and humbled to be among them. Thankyou!!! Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waltappel 1 #11 December 8, 2005 Quotei've seriously got to get out to houston one day to hear some of these stories! Trust me, I'm really boring in person. Most of the time, I would MUCH rather hear what someone else has to say that spend the time talking myself. Don't worry, though, I'll be posting more stories. Thanks for the kind words. Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
base570 1 #12 December 8, 2005 QuoteQuotei've seriously got to get out to houston one day to hear some of these stories! Trust me, I'm really boring in person. Most of the time, I would MUCH rather hear what someone else has to say that spend the time talking myself. Don't worry, though, I'll be posting more stories. Thanks for the kind words. Walt A really good friend of mine and a BASE student of yours (Pauly) has told me a few stories about you and I don't remember any of them being boring, that's for sure!! Walt you are a BASE GOD!!!Jason 570 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waltappel 1 #13 December 8, 2005 QuoteQuoteQuotei've seriously got to get out to houston one day to hear some of these stories! Trust me, I'm really boring in person. Most of the time, I would MUCH rather hear what someone else has to say that spend the time talking myself. Don't worry, though, I'll be posting more stories. Thanks for the kind words. Walt A really good friend of mine and a BASE student of yours (Pauly) has told me a few stories about you and I don't remember any of them being boring, that's for sure!! Walt you are a BASE GOD!!!Jason 570 Pauly is one hell of a guy. I miss seeing him and Ruth. They are some of the best people I have ever met. Don't believe Pauly's claim that he was one of my BASE students, though. As I recall, Pauly read the BASE articles I wrote and asked me a few questions. Then he and Hank Caylor proceded to teach themselves the fine art of BASE jumping. These guys were motivated!!! We're really talkin' some guys that have some serious balls. As for the BASE god, part, pleeeeeeeeeeeeease. I started in the sport when it was a really small community and the founders of modern BASE jumping were pretty easy to meet. We're talking BASE jumpers with numbers in the single digits! If I am anything to the sport of BASE, I am but a very minor footnote in its history. My contribution was to take the lessons that had been learned at a horribly high cost to the earliest of the modern BASE jumpers, write them down, and put them on the internet. To my knoledge, and I may be wrong about this, but I think I was the first to do that. It was a relatively minor thing on my part, but is something I continue to be very proud of. Pauly's buddy Hank Caylor approached me at the DZ one day and said, "Wow--you're Walt Appel?!!! You're the guy who wrote the BASE articles?!!!! Man, they were the only source of information I had when I started jumping. You saved my ass!!!". If I do nothing else in life that proves worthwhile, I know that the time I spent on those articles saved lives. I have been told so by people who have become far better BASE jumpers than I ever was or ever will be. Those article were made possible by people who took me under their wing and taught me everything I put in those articles, and they deserve the real credit. The most deserving are Adam Filipino (yes, the Adam Filipino, of Consolidated Rigging) and Dan Doyle. You've probably not ever heard of Dan Doyle, but he, Adam, and their merry band of hard-cores took my under their wing at Bridge Day 1988, and taught me how to stay alive. I am forever indebted to them and anyone who has been helped by the articles I wrote owes them respect and a few kind thoughts. What I did can hardly hold a candle to the efforts of Nick DiGiovanni, though. He published what was probably the best BASE periodical ever--"The Fixed Object Journal". No doubt his efforts have saved many, many lives. And he's a hell of a good guy too. I'm very proud to consider him my friend. There are plenty of others, too, that have preserved the history and lessons that BASE has taught us. They too, have saved lives. My sincerest thanks for your kind words. And please, tell Pauly and Ruth that they will always be way up toward the top of my love list. You are fortunate to have them as friends. Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waltappel 1 #15 December 8, 2005 QuoteAwesome story! Thanks. There's plenty more where that came from, but only a relative few are jumping stories. Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
selbbub78 0 #16 December 8, 2005 What a great story to read at work first thing in the morning. Wow, I need a good story like that every day! Thanks for posting it. CReW Skies,"Women fake orgasms - men fake whole relationships" – Sharon Stone "The world is my dropzone" (wise crewdog quote) "The light dims, until full darkness pierces into the world."-KDM Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wmw999 2,116 #17 December 8, 2005 QuoteTrust me, I'm really boring in person.Nope, try again! Great story. Wendy W.There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RhondaLea 3 #18 December 8, 2005 QuoteQuoteTrust me, I'm really boring in person.Nope, try again! Great story. He's such an asshole. "Boring in person." Yeah, okay. Walt is more fun than ordinary people should be allowed to have, and this humility is going to earn him...some kind of punishment. rlIf you don't know where you're going, you should know where you came from. Gullah Proverb Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waltappel 1 #19 December 8, 2005 QuoteQuoteTrust me, I'm really boring in person.Nope, try again! Great story. Wendy W. (I don't agree, but it is very flattering, coming from you.) One of these days I'm going to write a piece on why I worship the women of the world, and I'm going to use you as an example. I keep it under control some of the time, but like most guys, I am hard-wired to be a drooling, knuckle-dragging, low IQ, Neanderthal freak, and I'm kind of Ok with that. On a regular basis, though, a woman I know, e.g., you, will prove beyond any shadow of a doubt, that she is a better human being than I can ever hope to be. It doesn't really make me want to change my evil ways, but it gives me some kind of glimpse into what I should strive to be if I ever do decide to. I regularly write all sorts of blasphemous comments over in Speakers Corner, not hesitating for a moment to trash any religion that happens to pop into my mind. You are a regular visitor there, so you have seen most of those comments. In one thread, though, you casually mentioned that you were a treasurer in your church. For a split second I cringed. I don't mind offending people, but you get a free pass. You deserve that because of your humanity. Naturally, I still didn't change my evil ways, but your ability to be so gracious when faced with vile comments from a Neanderthal fucktard like me gives me something to shoot for if I ever decide to go that way. Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wmw999 2,116 #20 December 8, 2005 Quotewhen faced with ... decide to go that way. Holy shit -- can you be banned for a PA on yourself if you're schizo? We just don't share the evil thoughts that go through our minds. You hear about how vicious girls can be? I just find the world to be a pleasanter place if I'm walking around in a pleasant haze of my own making. Wendy W.There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Scoop 0 #21 December 8, 2005 I dont know how, but I missed all your other posts. I probably saw how they long they were and thought 'sod that' Now Ive just read all of them and Ive been laughing so hard for about an hour. Youve made my day! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waltappel 1 #22 December 8, 2005 QuoteQuoteQuoteTrust me, I'm really boring in person.Nope, try again! Great story. ...and this humility is going to earn him...some kind of punishment. rl Like a B&D Party? Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
selbbub78 0 #23 December 8, 2005 QuoteI dont know how, but I missed all your other posts. I probably saw how they long they were and thought 'sod that' Now Ive just read all of them and Ive been laughing so hard for about an hour. Youve made my day! I haven't read them either, i'll do that now. It can be my 'midday' break of this stuff called 'work' CReW Skies,"Women fake orgasms - men fake whole relationships" – Sharon Stone "The world is my dropzone" (wise crewdog quote) "The light dims, until full darkness pierces into the world."-KDM Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
460 0 #24 December 8, 2005 http://home.triad.rr.com/bmorrell/steve/ The picture is of my BASE mentor Steve doing his first cliff jump... From Black Canyon no less. Perhaps the most intimidating cliff site I know of. Major Stephen A. Morrell (USAF) was a pioneer in many area's of skydiving, including CRW and BASE jumping. These photos of an early base jump he made in Black Canyon, Colorado were found after his death. On the back of the first, Steve had written the following quote: "What kind of man would live a life without daring? Is life so sweet that we should criticize men that seek adventure? Is there a better way to die?" Charles Lindberg August 26th, 1938 Close call list: Steve's close call list. Steve compiled this list a few years before his death, so it is short several close calls, including one just a week before the freak accident that finally claimed him beneath a perfectly fine, open chute... Forgive the all caps, he was an aol'er to the end.... HERE'S THE ONES I CAN REMEMBER, THOUGH I'M SURE I'M LEAVING A LOT OUT : 1983 to 1994 -- 21 DECLARED EMERGENCIES IN MILITARY JETS (NEVER HAVE HAD TO DECLARE AN EMERGENCY IN A NORTHWEST BIRD) THESE INCLUDED 4 ENGINE FAILURES, ONE OF WHICH WAS OVER 1000 MILES FROM THE NEAREST PIECE OF LAND WAY OUT OVER THE POND AND COMBINED WITH A SERIOUS FUEL LEAK IN ONE OF MY EXTENDED RANGE TANKS, IT ALSO INCLUDES 4 ENGINE FIRES ONE OF WHICH I WAS UNABLE TO EXTINGUISH BY FIRING BOTH FIRE BOTTLES OFF. ONE OF THE OTHER FIRES WAS RIGHT AFTER TAKING OFF IN A BAD SANDSTORM WITH 35 KNOT WINDS AND VISIBILITY AT 1/2 MILE (MADE FOR A SPORTY EMERGENCY RETURN AFTER I SHUT IT DOWN AND FIRED THE BOTTLE). MOST OF THE OTHER EMERGENCIES INCLUDED HYDRAULIC FAILURES, ELECTRICAL PROBLEMS, AND FLIGHT CONTROL MALFUNCTIONS (ONE OF THEM WAS A MULTIPLE - WHICH ISN'T GOOD.) THE MOST EXCITING ONE WAS DURING THE WAR WHEN I LANDED A BIRD HEAVILY LOADED WITH AMMO WITH NO BRAKES OR SPOILERS (JUST REVERSERS) BECAUSE WE HAD LOST 2 of 3 HYDRAULIC SYSTEMS, HAD A MAJOR ELECTRICAL FIRE (AND ALL THE PROBLEMS THAT GO WITH THAT)I THICK SMOKE AND MISTING HYDRAULIC FLUID (WHICH IS HIGHLY FLAMMABLE - PLEASE NOTE ELECTRICAL FIRE MENTIONED ABOVE) AND AN UNSAFE GEAR INDICATION ON THE LEFT MAIN). GOT A NICE MEDAL FOR THAT ONE. 1975 to 1994 MADE OVER 1600 FREEFALL PARACHUTE JUMPS FROM AIRPLANES, GLIDERS AND HOT AIR BALLOONS, THIS INCLUDED NUMEROUS LOW PULLS (MOST INTENTIONAL) OPENING BELOW A GRAND AT TERMINAL. ONE OF WHICH WAS A LOW PULL GETTING CANOPY AT 200 FT RIGHT OVER THE HANGAR AT 175 FT PER SECOND, GREAT RUSHR I GOT IT ON VIDEO IF YOU EVER WANT TO SEE IT. ITS HOT, IF NOT A LITTLE STUPID. I ALSO HAVE AN INTENTIONAL JUMP FROM AN AIRCRAFT A 240 FT (ALSO ON VIDEO). ON AIRPLANE JUMPS I'VE USED MY RESERVE CHUTE 19 TIMES, BAG LOCKSR STREAMERS, LINEOVERS, BLOWN CANOPIES, PILOT CHUTES IN TOW, YOU NAME IT AND I'VE HAD TO DEAL WITH IT AT SOME TIME OR ANOTHER. I SURVIVED A MEDIUM SPEED (ABOUT 40 - 5OMPH) IMPACT WITH THE GROUND IN 1979 WITH ONLY A BROKEN BACK, I ALSO HAD A PARTICULARLY NASTY TREE LANDING IN 1977 THAT I CAME OUT OF WITH ONLY SCRATCHES, ON ANOTHER JUMP IN 1982 I LANDED OVER A MILE OUT IN THE ATLANTIC (IN FEB !) WITH NO FLOTATION GEAR, NO BOAT WAITING OR LOOKING, AND PROMPTLY GOT TANGLED IN MY GEAR TRYING TO SAVE IT. A 17 YEAR OLD SURFER FINALLY RESCUED ME AT THE LAST POSSIBLE MOMENT, A LITTLE SIDENOTE HERER I TRAINED HIM TO JUMP OUT OF GRATITUDE AND PAID FOR HIS FIRST SEVERAL JUMPS. SHORTLY AFTERWARD HE MOVED TO OHIO AND MET A GIRL AT A PARACHUTE CENTER THERE, MARRIED HERT AND NOW THEY HAVE A KID, THAT I FEEL WAS MY DOING IN A ROUNDABOUT WAY. I MEAN, IF I HADN'T ALMOST DROWNED THEN HE COULDN'T HAVE SAVED ME, WOULDN'T HAVE LEARNED TO JUMP AND WOULD NEVER HAVE MET HIS WIFE AND HAD THE KID, COOL HUH? FATE WORKS TN STRANGE WAYS. THERE ARE NUMEROUS LITTLE THINGS THAT HAPPENED OVER THE YEARS JUMPING THAT COULD HAVE GOT ME BUT DIDN'T. PEOPLE DEPLOYING THEIR CHUTES UNDER ME, PARTICULARLY UGLY OR DIFFICULT MALFUNCTIONS AT THE WORST POSSIBLE TIME, AND SOME THAT ARE KINDA COMPLEX TO EXPLAIN HERE. 1982 to 1994 B.A.S.E. OR FIXED OBJECT JUMPING FROM LOW ALTITUDE Buildings, Antennas, Spans (BRIDGES), AND Earth (CLIFFS). I'VE MADE ABOUT 80 SOMETHING BASE JUMPS ALL OF WHICH WERE HAIRY BECAUSE OF THE LOW ALTITUDES INVOLVED (USUALLY JUMPING FROM UNDER 700 FT AND MANY IN THE 200 - 300 ft RANGE) IN AIRPLANE JUMPING I'VE ONLY LOST A FEW FRIENDS AND WATCHED FOUR PEOPLE TAKE IT ALL THE WAY IN. BASE JUMPING IS A LOT MORE RISKY AND I'VE LOST EIGHT FRIENDS IN THE SPORT WATCHING SEVERAL OF THEM GO IN UP CLOSE. I DON'T KNOW OF ANY OTHER BASE JUMPER THAT HAS SUCCESSFULLY USED HIS RESERVE MORE THAN ONCE ON A BASE JUMP BUT I'VE DONE IT NOW THREE TIMES NOW AND ALMOST DIED ON EACH (PROBABLY A 50/50 COMBINATION OF LUCK AND SKILL). THE ODD THING IS THAT FOR MOST OF MY BASE JUMPS I HAVEN'T EVEN WORN A RESERVE SINCE THERE IS SO LITTLE TIME TO USE IT IS USUALLY MOOT, GUESS I CHOSE THE RIGHT ONES TO WEAR IT ON. THE FIRST TIME I USED A RESERVE ON A BASE JUMP (1985) AFTER A PILOT CHUTE IN TOW IT OPENED AT 100 FT AND I LANDED IN A RIVER AND GOT WRAPPED AND PINNED UP AGAINST A ROCK WITH JUST MY HEAD OUT OF THE WATER AND WAS RESCUED BEFORE I WAS PULLED UNDER, THE SECOND TIME (SAME BRIDGE BUT IN 1986) I HAD A SIMILAR ACCIDENT AT NIGHT AND ENDED UP WITH A MAIN AND RESERVE BOTH OUT, OPENING AT 50 OR SO FEET. THE ALMOST INSTANT SPLASHDOWN TOOK ME RIGHT INTO THE RAPIDS SMACKING MY HEAD INTO A ROCK SO HARD IT SPLIT MY HELMET AND PUSHED ONE OF MY TEETH THROUGH THE SKIN JUST BELOW THE LIP AND THEN PINNED ME UNDER WATER SEVERAL TIMEST THE LAST TIME FOR ALMOST TWO MINUTES (WHICH SEEMS LIKE A LOT LONGER WHEN YOU CAN'T BREATHE) THE NEXT TIME I HAD TO USE A RESERVE ON A BASE JUMP WAS AFTER DOING A LONG DELAY OFF THE TOP OF HALF DOME IN YOSEMITE. A SPINNING MALFUNCTION AT LOW ALTITUDE CLOSE TO THE FACE AND I MADE THE DECISION TO GO FOR THE RESERVE RATHER THAN BE MAIMED ON IMPACT INTO THE ROCKY TALUS. I CHOPPED MY MAIN AND DEPLOYED THE RESERVE AT THE SAME TIME AND GOT RESERVE OPENING AND IMPACT ON A ROCK LEDGE LESS THAN A SECOND APART. I CRACKED ONE OF MY LEFT RIBS AND SPRAINED MY FOOT AS I IMPACTED THE LEDGE WHICH WAS ABOUT 15 FT WIDE. AFTER AN 8 HOUR HIKE TO THE TOP IT TOOK ME 9 MORE HOURS TO GET BACK DOWN TRYING TO EVADE THE COPS, AS IT TURNED OUT I GOT ARRESTED ANYWAY FOR "UNAUTHORIZED AERIAL DELIVERY OF A PERSON WITHOUT A PERMIT" AND "CREATING AND MAINTAINING A HAZARDOUS CONDITION". EIGHT THOUSAND DOLLARS LATER I BEAT IT IN COURT. THAT'S THE BEAUTY OF OUR LEGAL SYSTEM - YOU CAN BE GUILTY AS SIN BUT IF YOU THROW ENOUGH MONEY AT THE PROBLEM YOU WILL ALWAYS END UP NOT GUILTY (IF YOU DON'T BELIEVE ME JUST ASK OJ SIMPSON), ON ANOTHER BASE JUMP I WAS JUMPING A 2000 FT TV TOWER WITH JOHN OWENS AND MY CHUTE OPENED BACKWARDS INTO THE STRUCTURE AND I WAS BARELY ABLE TO MISS THE TOWER BY STALL TURNING TO THE LEFT. LUCKY FOR ME I HAD OPENED AT A GAP IN THE GUIDE WIRES OR I WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN ABLE TO DO THAT, A QUARTER OF A SECOND SOONER OR LATER ON MY FREEFALL DELAY AND I WOULDN'T HAVE BEEN SO LUCKY, ON MY INFAMOUS CLIFF JUMP IN SAUDI ARABIA IN 1988 (A NICE WALL I'D DONE SEVERAL MONTHS EARLIER SUCCESSFULLY) MY CHUTE OPENED DANGEROUSLY CLOSE TO THE WALL ALMOST 180 DEGREES OFF HEADING. THE IMPACT BROKE TWO BONES IN EACH FOOT. LUCKILY I WAS WEARING KNEEPLATES, ELBOW PLATES, AND A HELMET. MY KNEES AND HEAD TOOK HARD HITS ALSO BUT THEY DIDN'T BREAK THANKS TO WEARING PROTECTION. 80% OF HEAD ON CLIFF STRIKES ARE FATAL SO I WAS PRETTY LUCKY (PREPARED I'D PREFER TO SAY). THIS HAPPENED WAY OUT IN THE DESERT AND IT TOOK MY FRIEND SEVEN HOURS TO CARRY ME OUT OF THE DESERT AND TWO AND A HALF MORE TO GET ME TO A SAUDI HOSPITAL. AH YES, FOND MEMORIES OF THAT DAY. THE GOOD THING WAS THAT I WAS ONE WEEK FROM SHIPPING BACK STATESIDE TO CHARLESTON AIR FORCE BASE AND THE AIR FORCE HAD ALREADY GIVEN ME MY TICKETS. I WAS GOING TO LONDON ON THE 20th TO JUMP SOME BUILDINGS THERE AND CONTINUING TO THE STATES ON PAN AM FLIGHT 103 ON THE 21st, OF COURSE I MISSED IT SINCE I WAS AIR EVACed TO A MILITARY HOSPITAL IN GERMANY TO HAVE MY FEET REBUILT WITH STAINLESS STEEL PINS AND SCREWS. AN ODD FOOTNOTE TO THIS, IF I HAD BEEN ON THE FLIGHT I ALWAYS TAKE MY PARACHUTE AS CARRY ON BAGGAGE. I FIGURE THEY HAD OVER A MINUTE FROM THE EXPLOSION TO IMPACT. I CAN PUT A CHUTE ON TN 20 SECONDS, EVEN IN THE DARK. YOU NEVER KNOW I COULD HAVE BEEN THE ONLY SURVIVOR, WOULDN'T THAT HAVE CAUSED SOME SUSPICION - THE ONLY SURVIVOR IS RETURNING FROM THE MIDDLE EAST AND JUST HAPPENED TO HAVE A CHUTE WITH HIM 1983 DAVE FOX (HE FLIES FOR DELTA NOW) AND I CAME REAL CLOSE TO HAVING A MIDAIR AS STUDENT PILOTS DOING FORMATION ACROBATICS IN MISSISSIPPI. 1985 VERY NASTY THUNDERSTORM ENCOUNTER IN THE PACIFIC 1988 EVEN WORSE THUNDERSTORM ENCOUNTER IN WESTERN SAUDI ARABIA. MY COPILOT AND I BOTH ENDED UP WITH BRUISES FROM BEING THROWN AGAINST OUR SHOULDER HARNESSES. 1991 SURVIVED TWO SCUD ATTACKS WHILE UNLOADING CARGO AND FUELING UP, 1992 BARELY MISSED HITTING MOUNTAIN WHILE BEING VECTORED BY RUSSIAN CONTROLLERS IN TAJEKISTAN (SP?) 1994 JUMP TEAM ACCIDENT - SHATTERED LEFT LEG AND ANKLE 1994 HEAD ON WITH THE 18 WHEELER - TWO BROKE RIBS MISC TRIVIA-- TOTAL BONES BROKEN - 10 -- PIECES OF HARDWARE HOLDING ME TOGETHER - 12 -- BAD SPRAINS TO MY RIGHT FOOT - 4 -- BAD SPRAINS TO MY LEFT FOOT - 3 -- TOTAL NUMBER OF SPEEDING TICKETS - 42 -- NUMBER OF STITCHES - LOST COUNT WELL I THIS TOOK LONGER THAN I THOUGHT (BAD SIGN, HUH?) GIVE ME A CALL. IT WAS NICE TALKING TO YOU AGAIN, PARTY TIL IMPACT, STEVE PS - NO TIME FOR A SPELL CHECKF SO PLEASE DON'T MARK IT UP WITH RED INK OR NOTHINGLooks like a death sandwich without the bread - Steve Deadman Morrell, BASE 174 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
brits17 0 #25 December 8, 2005 QuoteI am very flattered, though. Thank you for the kind words. LOL, I love it! Only base jumpers would take "Ya'll crazy fucks" as 'kind words.' _______________________ aerialkinetics.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
