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Richards

Gifts from EX

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I appreciate your advice. I still have a hard time understanding it, this thread seems to be split on the issue so I have to at least give consideration to the fact that it might be more of an issue than I initially considered it to be.
My biggest handicap is that sometimes the hole in the front of my head operates a tad bit faster than the grey matter contained within.

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You mentioned that it's suggestive or something of that nature?



Not suggestive or sexual in any way. Just crude.

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Marriage always comes down to give and take...if it is just a simple mug...and she's said that it bothers her...can't you get another funny cup? :)
Justified or not, she told you how she felt. -Honestly, can we always justify the way we feel? I can't.

It's not like a car or something. Isn't $4 worth keeping your wife happy?



I don't get the problem, but yes it is just a mug. I don't feel like getting rid of it but if it really means that much to her it is just a cup.
My biggest handicap is that sometimes the hole in the front of my head operates a tad bit faster than the grey matter contained within.

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Here's the rub... You have to do it willingly and without anger. No brownie points if you can't pull that one off.


oHH You said "RUB" :P Stop that Mama Your getting me excited!;)



There's no rubbing involved with a cat-'o-nine tails. :ph34r:



And you were so quiet at Skyfest last year... we're a bad influence on you!!!

*hehehehehe...our plan is complete!*
Mike
I love you, Shannon and Jim.
POPS 9708 , SCR 14706

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And you were so quiet at Skyfest last year... we're a bad influence on you!!!

*hehehehehe...our plan is complete!*

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You can blame Skymama (Her Hotness) for the transformation.
I was a sweet little thing until she banned me... ;)

What do you call a beautiful, sunny day that comes after two cloudy, rainy
ones? -- Monday.

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I feel for your situation. I always mailed back EVERYTHING to my exes. The only exception: two very expensive "Seraphin" angels that I just could not be selfless enough to give back. I have told my husband their origin and he is ok with it. I kept and keep them because they are beautiful and classy and I collect angels. My husband and I are in our mid thirties and we have accumulated many things throughout our lives. I don't ask where he got his things or who gave them to him -- they are his. However, if he asked me to get rid of these two angels -- I SIMPLY WOULD!!!

Relationships and marriage are hard enough without bringing into them silly conflicts. Should you have purchased that mug yourself and your wife insist you get rig of it -- then I would perhaps see her as being manipulative. She does not seem that way to me from what you have posted. I would never tell you what to do since you are the one in your situation. However, if you talk to her and try to make sure you understand her reasons, perhaps ask her to get you a similarly crude mug, or, silly I know, have another imprinted with whatever yours currently says, then make your decision.

In marriage, it is not as easy as saying get over it!!!! It is marriage and it takes a lot to make it work. If you love each other and you both accept each other for what you are, then the goal should be to make each other happy... Good luck to you!!!
Character cannot be made except by a steady, long continued process. -- Phillips Brooks

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Am I being an insensitive dick or is she maybe being a bit too sensitive?



Fuck 'er - tell her to get the fuck over it.

For fuck's sake - she IS an adult - right?


I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

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Give the mug to someone else for safe keeping. During the past 44 years I have been married three times. I have not been allowed to keep pictures of my ex's or ex-girlfriends. Even though they were put away, they always came up missing if I didn't destroy them. I have kept my mouth shut about gifts from other women. But, I sometimes wish I still had pictures of some of the ex's. My daughters, (I have four of them, all grown now), wish they had pics of them too. Their mother left when the youngest was 15 months old and was not heard from for over 15 years. Some of my ex's were mother figures to them and my daughters wish they had pics.
GET SOME, altitude!

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At least you have the option to get rid of the cup. The little gift my ex gave me never goes away. :|



She gave you children?

Or Luggage?
I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

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I've kept a few items from ex's. Matter of fact, I still get/give gifts from an ex.

I don't feel that keeping the cup is in bad taste or wrong, however your wife has a right to her feelings. Dismissing her feelings may ultimately do more damage than getting rid of the cup. That's something you two need to work out....

g
"Let's do something romantic this Saturday... how bout we bust out the restraints?"
Raddest Ho this side of Jersey #1 - MISS YOU
OMG, is she okay?

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She admits it's kind of silly for her to feel this way, but she still does. She's trusting you with her feelings. That's a good thing.

I'd respect them. Consider your own feelings (they're worth something too), and talk about them. Don't make it into a big thing, just use this to learn about each other.

Personally, I'd get rid of the cup, but then I haven't been in that situation. But it's just a friggin' cup. Go shopping with her for a new, ruder cup.

Wendy W.
There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)

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It's pretty simple...offer to dispose of the cup in exchange for a threesome with her best friend. That way, if she declines, she'll at least have a good reason to be pissed off every time she sees it.

Blues,
Dave
"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!"
(drink Mountain Dew)

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It's pretty simple...offer to dispose of the cup in exchange for a threesome with her best friend.



:D:DNow why didn't I think of that? Dave, you should really be a marriage counsellor.
My biggest handicap is that sometimes the hole in the front of my head operates a tad bit faster than the grey matter contained within.

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Your wife shouldn't fault you even if it was kept for memories. It was before her time. She should be happy for you that you have some great memories from your past. And thankful that now she can make some of her own with you.

It sounds like you wife needs to ask herself why it TRULY bothers her why you are keeping something from your ex. After all, thats what it is, a gift from you EX!
If I stand on my tip toes, I can see the weekend from here!

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It's pretty simple...offer to dispose of the cup in exchange for a threesome with her best friend and a sammich after. That way, if she declines, she'll at least have a good reason to be pissed off every time she sees it.

Blues,
Dave



You had a typo dave.
I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

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Ask her if you should remove your dick, because it was in the EX's ass so many times in the past.

It is a coffee cup!!!! Imagine all the real problems a relationship could have, and she is bitching about a cup. :D
"The restraining order says you're only allowed to touch me in freefall"
=P

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I think it's retarded that your wife cares at all about you keeping a cup that you think is funny that just happens to be something that an ex gave you. Even if it just irks her a bit...that still seems silly to me. I agree with ladyflyer that your wife definitely needs to look at why this truly bothers her.

I understand where people are coming from when they say, "just get rid of the stupid cup and it won't be a problem!" BUT, as others have said, really, it's probably not just about the cup...there's really no reason that you finding a coffee mug funny and wanting to keep it should bother her. Maybe she really does just feel extreme disdain for the cup for no reason...but it definitely makes sense logically that there would be other things provoking this aversion to the cup. I'd think it would be best to find out what they are. Maybe she has jealousy issues...and if she does, that's for HER to work out.

Hell, more than half of my boyfriend's wardrobe was given to him by his ex...am I gonna go home and cry about it? No! I couldn't care less! I'm glad the girl bought him some clothes...she seemed to suck at everything else in life, so at least she kept him well-dressed! I have things from my ex's and my boyfriend has things from his ex's...I mean seriously, if you had any dating experience at all before getting married, it would be pretty damn ridiculous for her to think that you would not have ANYTHING given to you by an ex.

Why can't people realize that an EX is an EX for a reason? Seriously, maybe I'm just stubborn, but I'd keep the cup and try to figure out what the hell is going on to make my SO jealous about a damn CUP! I'm with waltappel...stand your ground and don't let her start running your life one cup at a time! ;)

Just my 2 cents...but I am always right, so I would heed my advice if I were you. :)

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