0
unformed

the bad, "Yes, I know I'm going to hell" joke thread

Recommended Posts

Quote

Wow - quick one, he is.:o



Not QUICK at all - I believe it was Grocho Marx who said "I'm not as good as I once was but I'm as good once as I ever was"
"Where troubles melt like lemon drops, away above the chimney tops, that's where you'll find me" Dorothy

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote

Quote

I can't stand racist and anti woman jokes.

It's just anti funny!



Are man jokes funny?



What do you call the useless piece of skin attached to the end of a penis?

A man!

I know this ruins my credibility, but I couldn't help myself.

Oh, thanks, Unformed, for your tastelessness. Great stuff, keep it coming!
Relax, you can die if you mess up, but it will probably not be by bullet.

I'm a BIG, TOUGH BIGWAY FORMATION SKYDIVER! What are you?

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Jesus is on the cross and there's a crowd. He's calling to John, and John is fighting his way through the crowd. Jesus continues to call to John, while John battles the crowd. Finally, John reaches Jesus and asks him what it is he can do for his lord.
Jesus says:










"John, I think I can see your house from here!"


can I get an upgrade on my trip to hell please? :D
Goddam dirty hippies piss me off! ~GFD
"What do I get for closing your rig?" ~ me
"Anything you want." ~ female skydiver
Mohoso Rodriguez #865

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
If you question someone's sexual orientation just say..... He's not gay, he just likes the taste of cum!!
Normally gets a few guys to dry heave and the women to salivate. :ph34r:
LifeshouldNOTbeajourneytothegravewithawellpreservedbody,buttskidinsideways,cigarinone hand,martiniintheother,bodythoroughlyused upandscreaming:"WOO HOO!! What a ride!!!"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
How do you unload a truckload of dead babies?

Pitchfork


Why do you unload a truckload of dead babies with a pitchfork?

To find out which ones are still alive.


How do you make a dead baby float?

Two scoops ice cream, one scoop dead baby.


Why do you put a baby in a blender feet first?

To see the expression on it's face.



man i used to know so many of these. let me see if i can remember any more.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote



Jesus is on the cross and there's a crowd. He's calling to John, and John is fighting his way through the crowd. Jesus continues to call to John, while John battles the crowd. Finally, John reaches Jesus and asks him what it is he can do for his lord.
Jesus says:










"John, I think I can see your house from here!"


can I get an upgrade on my trip to hell please? :D










Also heard~

Hey buddy, mind crossing yer legs, we're about outta nails!:)



&



What's HE bitchin' about.....at least he doesn't have to walk back to town!:S










~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
So Frank, Benjamin and Rastus all die in a war and show up at the Pearly Gates.

St. Peter tells them, "Man, you guys are violent killers and I can't let you in."

They argue the point.

St Peter finally says, "OK. I can't let you in but for $50 I can put you back on Earth alive and well."


Frank is back on Earth and his buddies gather 'round and ask about the others.

He says, "When I left, Benjamin had him down to $49.95 and Rastus was looking for a co-signer."
My reality and yours are quite different.
I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote

If you question someone's sexual orientation just say..... He's not gay, he just likes the taste of cum!!
Normally gets a few guys to dry heave and the women to salivate. :ph34r:


He isn't gay, but his boyfriend is!:D:D
*My Inner Child is A Fucking Prick Too!
*Everyones entitled to be stupid but you are abusing the priviledge
*Well I'd love to stay & chat, But youre a total Bitch! {Stewie}

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
What was real First Commandment?
"Adam. Take out the trash."

An Indian man dies and and arrives at the Pearly Gates. St. Peter asks what his business is. The man says, "I'm here for Jesus." St. Peter yells out, "Jesus. Did you call for a cab?"

JFK, Jr. was on the radio. And the control yoke and...

What is eight inches long and white?
Nothing.

What do you call 300 white men following a black man?
The PGA Tour.

What has 50 balls and screws old ladies?
Bingo.

Pinochio was receiving complaints from his girlfriend about consummating their passions. "Every time we make love", she said, "I get splinters!" So he went back to his maker, Geppeto, the carpenter, to ask for help. "Sandpaper, my boy, that's what you need!" was the Geppeto's response. A couple of weeks later the Geppeto asked Pinochio, "How are you getting on with the girls now?" "Women!" said Pinochio, "Who needs women?"

What do you have if you’re holding two fuzzy green balls in the palm of your hand?
Kermit's undivided attention.

What's green and yellow and eats nuts?
Gonorrhea.

What did the lesbian vampire say to the other lesbian vampire?
"See you next month."

Why does the Navy have Marines on their ships?
Because sheep are too obvious.

How did Captain Hook die?
He had jock itch.

What's the square root of 69?
8 something...

What is 6.9?
Same thing interrupted by a period.

Which sexual position produces the ugliest kids?
as your mom.


My wife is hotter than your wife.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote


Why do you put a baby in a blender feet first?

To see the expression on it's face.




i told my friend that joke [he has a very twisted sense of humor], he changed the punch line straight away and made it that little bit worse.

"so it can see the look on your face when you come."

my all time favorite joke:

whats the similarity between a prawn and a woman?

their heads are full of shit but the pinks bits taste good.

i know some pretty horrific racist jokes, but dont know if i should post them or not.
"When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading."

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote

i know some pretty horrific racist jokes, but dont know if i should post them or not.



Ok, as the official racist here (or at least some people think so), I'll get the ball rolling.

Q: What do you call a white guy surrounded by 10 black guys?
A: Quarterback

Q: What do you call a white guy surrounded by 20 black guys?
A: Coach

Q: What do you call a white guy surrounded by 2000 black guys?
A: Warden

Q: What do you call a white guy surrounded by 3 black guys?
A: Fucked!

Walt

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
What's the hardest thing about eating a vegetable?




Getting her out of the wheelchair!
"I'm not a gynecologist but I will take a look at it"
RB #1295, Smokey Sister #1, HellFish #658, Dirty Sanchez #194, Muff Brothers #3834, POPS #9614, Orfun Foster-Parent?"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
What does an Alabama girl yell while she's having sex?

Ease up Dad, you're crush'n my cigarettes!

________________________

Georgia girl comes home and tells her Dad she getting married and wants him to buy her a wedding dress. He thinks about it and says "I'll buy you a wedding dress if you give me a blowjob". She agrees and starts blowing him.

After a minute or two she tells him "Dad, you dick taste like shit!" He replies "Yeah, your brother wanted a new car".
"I'm not a gynecologist but I will take a look at it"
RB #1295, Smokey Sister #1, HellFish #658, Dirty Sanchez #194, Muff Brothers #3834, POPS #9614, Orfun Foster-Parent?"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

0