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ntrprnr

And then there's closure...

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The IM went like this:

Hey. You there?
Yeah, 'sup?
I got some news
News? Let me guess... Engaged?
Good guess.
Fuck! I was right?
I mean, congratulations! That's awesome!
Thanks... It's cool. I'm excited... I wanted to tell you...
I'm glad you did! That's just awesome!
i knew it was coming, to be honest...and we did a bit of legwork prior to announcing it officially (ie: looked a couple of venues, etc).
Yeah, I figured - you guys have been together what, a year now?
Yeah, just about a year
Well, I'm really psyched for you! That's great to hear.


And so on, and so on.

I'm over her, and I'm really happy for her. I really am. Truly.


So why does closure feel like I've been punched in the stomach?
_______________
"Why'd you track away at 7,000 feet?"
"Even in freefall, I have commitment issues."

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Now there's a "No going back" event that's beyond your control-yeah, you can be truely happy for her and still hurt. You're over her, but not completely at peace with it. Now the deep healing starts and luckily, it's not a long process.


Man, you gotta get dumped a lot to have this process dialed in like I do[:/]
I am not the man. But the man knows my name...and he's worried

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Peter,

The punch in the gut is probably the realization that it truly is over. Just be glad that you only lived with her, and didnt have kids and everything else that is involved with married life. She probably wasn't over you either, thus the IM telling you that she is engaged. Your reaction probably took her off guard, (since I don't know the whole situation) she was probably trying to get the last word in.

If the break-up was amicable, and without a whole lot of drama, then most people probably believe that eventually it will work out. They carry on some level of hope that things will go back to the way that they were.

Speaking from my experience, with the first ex-wife the break-up was fairly amicable and there was no drama. I was still heart-broken when she let me know that she was getting married. It was devastating because I knew that it was over. We had a kid together, and I had hoped that things would work out.

Or, the other idea is. You are just a little dejected that she didn't want you.

It may be a little of both. Drink a few beers, it takes the edge off the pain. Then go make some jumps. It doesn't solve the problem, but you will feel better.

Now, before somebody takes my man-card away, I will be getting back to business as usual....
The primary purpose of the Armed Forces is to prepare for and to prevail in combat should the need arise.

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No. She wasn't a relationship. dude - You were in town three months ago. If she was, and we'd since broken up and she'd met someone and gotten engaged, I'd probably be thanking my lucky stars I got out of the way of THAT train wreck. :)

Just ran 5 miles. That helped. A lot. Thanks to everyone for the comments. They mean a lot.
_______________
"Why'd you track away at 7,000 feet?"
"Even in freefall, I have commitment issues."

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I read through all this and thought, fuck me I"m in the womens forum again>:(


:ph34r::ph34r::ph34r::ph34r: Go Get a lap dance pete:)
You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky)
My Life ROCKS!
How's yours doing?

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I remember having a similar conversation with an ex but it was over the phone...she's now married with an adorable little girl, and her brother is still one of my best friends.

Really bro, it'll pass...give it a couple days. :)

Wrong Way
D #27371 Mal Manera Rodriguez Cajun Chicken Ø Hellfish #451
The wiser wolf prevails.

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I once got one of those calls . . . the night before my birthday. Argh! B|

On the other hand, now it really is your new chapter. It'll get better.



Same thing happened to me!!! As if I wanted to here that the night before. Some peoples timing is unbelievable. [:/]

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Peter, that's nothing... I had an ex IM me after about a year. She just wanted to tell me she was getting married. She was getting married to one of my best friends from high school.

It wasn't so bad, I wasn't still pining for her anymore.

They're since divorced and my friend thinks I had a hand in it. So I lost a best bud and an ex gf. :|



"Find out just what any people will quietly submit to and you have found out the exact measure of injustice and wrong which will be imposed upon them."

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The IM went like this:

Hey. You there?
Yeah, 'sup?
I got some news
News? Let me guess... Engaged?
Good guess.
Fuck! I was right?
I mean, congratulations! That's awesome!
Thanks... It's cool. I'm excited... I wanted to tell you...
I'm glad you did! That's just awesome!
i knew it was coming, to be honest...and we did a bit of legwork prior to announcing it officially (ie: looked a couple of venues, etc).
Yeah, I figured - you guys have been together what, a year now?
Yeah, just about a year
Well, I'm really psyched for you! That's great to hear.


And so on, and so on.

I'm over her, and I'm really happy for her. I really am. Truly.


So why does closure feel like I've been punched in the stomach?



OUCH. [:/]

Been there, done that. Nothing to do but power through and handle it with dignity (which you did).
"I gargle no man's balls..." ussfpa on SOCNET

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I once got one of those calls . . . the night before my birthday. Argh! B|



Same thing happened to me!!! As if I wanted to here that the night before. Some peoples timing is unbelievable. [:/]



At least I genuinely believe that the timing wasn't intentional. I just hadn't talked to him in about a year, so when the phone rang I thought we were just catching up (no "oh good, he's back" thoughts). Um, yeah, no. I doubt he even remembered it was my birthday, but it still sucked. I hate moments like that. At least they pass.
TPM Sister #102

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I'm over her, and I'm really happy for her. I really am. Truly.



i feel the same way about my ex.

Quote


So why does closure feel like I've been punched in the stomach?



she's getting married on saturday.... i hear you, brother.

Landing without injury is not necessarily evidence that you didn't fuck up... it just means you got away with it this time

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