mnealtx 0 #1 August 29, 2007 ....Horse rules!! 1. I will NOT roll in streams when my human is on my back. 2. I will NOT leap over large nonexistent obstacles when the whim strikes. 3. I will NOT walk faster on the way home than I did on the way out. 4. I will NOT bite my farrier's butt just to say "Hi". 5. I will NOT confuse my human's blond hair for really soft hay. 6. I will NOT blow my nose on my human. 7. I will NOT try to mooch goodies from every human within a one-mile radius. 8. I will NOT lay totally flat in my stall with my eyes glazed over and My legs straight out and pretend I can't hear my human frantically screaming "Are you asleep?" 9. I will NOT chase the ponies into the electric fence to see if it is on. 10. I will promise NEVER to dump the wheelbarrow of manure over while my human is mucking my stall. 11. I will NOT grab my lead rope in my mouth and attempt to lead myself. 12. I will NOT pull my shoes off the day after being shod just to prove that I can. 13. I am NEITHER a beaver nor a carpenter. I promise I won't eat or orally remodel the barn or the new fences. 14. I am NOT a Shin'a'in Battlesteed. I will NOT act like one. 15. I WILL forgive my human for my very bad haircut, even though I look ridiculous. 16. I WILL accept that not every carrot is for me. 17. I will NOT bite the butt of the horse in front of me during a trail Ride just to say "Hi". 18. I will NOT jump in the air and turn 180 degrees every time I see a deer. 19. I will understand that deer are NOT carnivorous. 20. I will NOT do my Teleport Trick when my human is searching for me.Mike I love you, Shannon and Jim. POPS 9708 , SCR 14706 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ACMESkydiver 0 #2 August 29, 2007 That brings back memories...~Jaye Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
flygirl1 0 #3 August 29, 2007 He he he, I wish my horses would follow those rules! My mare in particular. She has broken every on of them8. I will NOT lay totally flat in my stall with my eyes glazed over and My legs straight out and pretend I can't hear my human frantically screaming "Are you asleep?" - I had to rush out of the DZ and miss my first jump as a new A license holder for that one12. I will NOT pull my shoes off the day after being shod just to prove that I can. - She really needs to learn this one 19. I will understand that deer are NOT carnivorous. - yep and neither are plastic bags, lines panted on the ground or invisible monsters in the far corner of the ringThanks for posting that I need a laugh! Fly like a girl Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NtheSeaOrSky 0 #4 August 29, 2007 21. I will NOT use my human's shoulder as a salt lick. 22. I will NOT pull out my human's hair clips, scrunchies, caps, or sunglasses for my own personal use. 23. I will NOT steal snacks out of the saddle bags while on a break on the trail. 24. I will NOT 'frisk' all new visitors by inspecting all their clothing pockets for peppermints.Life is not fair and there are no guarantees... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ACMESkydiver 0 #5 August 29, 2007 How 'bout I will NOT bloat my tummy to ridiculous extremes whilest my owner tightens the girth so I can play 'roly-poly rider' later on... ~Jaye Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hausse 0 #6 August 29, 2007 We in Switzerland eat horses that solves the problem without the trouble of teaching the horse all those rules Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NtheSeaOrSky 0 #7 August 29, 2007 mere childs play for my 'girthy' horse.....he liked to explode like a bomb....broken two stall doors, bent one truck and one car quarter panel, cross ties, rear up, fall over, run around like a horse eating monster has him......luckily we worked through those issues fairly quickly on that horse are you' after his spells were over>Life is not fair and there are no guarantees... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mnealtx 0 #8 August 29, 2007 Glad I could brighten everyone's day...and yup, I've seen all those myself!!Mike I love you, Shannon and Jim. POPS 9708 , SCR 14706 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
flygirl1 0 #9 August 29, 2007 Quote mere childs play for my 'girthy' horse.....he liked to explode like a bomb....broken two stall doors, bent one truck and one car quarter panel, cross ties, rear up, fall over, run around like a horse eating monster has him......luckily we worked through those issues fairly quickly on that horse are you' after his spells were over> I know how you feel I used to get that comment a lot. I had a horses once that we imported from Ireland. He must have had some pretty bad experiences with his previous owners apparently. Among many other issues it took me many hours of positive reenforcement and a grave yard of broken halters before he realized it wasn't good manners to bolt into the the trailer at 90mph knocking down anyone or thing in your path. Then the exact second you slam your self inside to come flying out like a bat out of hell and race around like a mad horse at a full gallop until you freak out stop and stand still shaking and dripping sweat until someone comes and rescues you. Someone must have not been so nice to the poor guy It took over a year for me to gain his full trust.Fly like a girl Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ACMESkydiver 0 #10 August 29, 2007 Quote mere childs play for my 'girthy' horse.....he liked to explode like a bomb....broken two stall doors, bent one truck and one car quarter panel, cross ties, rear up, fall over, run around like a horse eating monster has him...... You just described my twin sons. ~Jaye Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NtheSeaOrSky 0 #11 August 29, 2007 Quote Quote mere childs play for my 'girthy' horse.....he liked to explode like a bomb....broken two stall doors, bent one truck and one car quarter panel, cross ties, rear up, fall over, run around like a horse eating monster has him...... You just described my twin sons. Is this further proof I am qualified to raise children .....I may need your help convincing some people.....Life is not fair and there are no guarantees... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bolas 5 #12 August 29, 2007 Quote Is this further proof I am qualified to raise children .....I may need your help convincing some people..... (Looks at profile) Sheeeeeet. Ya mean ya can't convince yer brother to help ya start a litter? Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Andy_Copland 0 #13 August 29, 2007 I rode horses when i was about 15 for cash, i live in a horse racing town in the UK. Off topic but a good race horse is a fucking magestic beast1338 People aint made of nothin' but water and shit. Until morale improves, the beatings will continue. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bolas 5 #14 August 29, 2007 Quote I rode horses when i was about 15 for cash, i live in a horse racing town in the UK. Off topic but a good race horse is a fucking magestic beast Majestic maybe but their power to weight ratio sucks. Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NtheSeaOrSky 0 #15 August 29, 2007 Quote Quote Is this further proof I am qualified to raise children .....I may need your help convincing some people..... (Looks at profile) Sheeeeeet. Ya mean ya can't convince yer brother to help ya start a litter? OUCH! When did I piss you off Life is not fair and there are no guarantees... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mnealtx 0 #16 August 29, 2007 Quote Quote I rode horses when i was about 15 for cash, i live in a horse racing town in the UK. Off topic but a good race horse is a fucking magestic beast Majestic maybe but their power to weight ratio sucks. Record appears to be 4650 lbs... pretty damn good for 1 'horsepower'!!!Mike I love you, Shannon and Jim. POPS 9708 , SCR 14706 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bolas 5 #17 August 29, 2007 Quote Quote Quote Is this further proof I am qualified to raise children .....I may need your help convincing some people..... (Looks at profile) Sheeeeeet. Ya mean ya can't convince yer brother to help ya start a litter? OUCH! When did I piss you off PSST. Look at my profile. I'm throwing stones in the glass house. Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 212 #18 August 29, 2007 Add to it: I will NOT decide to turn around and squash my Human against the stable doors to check out the mouse that scurries past. That one hurt, two cracked ribs and a bruise down my back.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Squeak 17 #19 August 29, 2007 All our horses are in lockdown and the Racing season for NSW has been canceled. There's an Equine flu going around here, it's devastating th Horse industry.You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky) My Life ROCKS! How's yours doing? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mnealtx 0 #20 August 29, 2007 QuoteAdd to it: I will NOT decide to turn around and squash my Human against the stable doors to check out the mouse that scurries past. That one hurt, two cracked ribs and a bruise down my back. Goofball...that's why you lead them out and mount up OUTSIDE!!!Mike I love you, Shannon and Jim. POPS 9708 , SCR 14706 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mnealtx 0 #21 August 29, 2007 That sucks!! I hope they get it under controlMike I love you, Shannon and Jim. POPS 9708 , SCR 14706 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mouth 0 #22 August 30, 2007 LMAO...ok, now that my horse bit me I can actually relate to some of this. Nothing like having a horse that wants extra treats and knows you have them in your pocket. -- Hot Mama At least you know where you stand even if it is in a pile of shit. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mnealtx 0 #23 August 30, 2007 First time horse owner? Your adventures are just beginning..... Mike I love you, Shannon and Jim. POPS 9708 , SCR 14706 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mamajumps 0 #24 August 31, 2007 ROFLMAO! Those are priceless!!! I copied them to a bulletin on "my"space!!! I have been around horses my entire life and have so seen all of those things. My one mare now that is do to foal in Feb, is a crackhead and a half!!!! You can just look at her and go "boogity boogity boo" and she will literally jump out of her skin and be all white eyed and snorting 2 hours later still... funny thing is, once she is saddled, anyone can ride her, including my 5 yr old, totally different horse.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mnealtx 0 #25 August 31, 2007 Glad ya enjoyed it!Mike I love you, Shannon and Jim. POPS 9708 , SCR 14706 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
