why are relationships so hard?

[RkyMtnHigh 0]

If you're affectionate like I am...tell him/her that it is important to you;

If you are a touchy feely person...Tell them!

If you need to talk and sort out your thoughts..Tell them!

Otherwise..if you are a quiet, thinker, absorb, adjust, deal with, THEN DO type of person then make it clear to who you are with (and that wouldn't be me BTW~ because I'll have it DONE by the time you get around to deciding your next move)

Be clear and upfront with how you feel from Day 1 if you can. It sucks to be in limbo as to how you truly feel about me/us. I hope that when you tell me how you feel, it is how you REALLY feel and not just a buffer to get you to the next experience.

_________________________________________

[porpoishead 5]

damn, thats deep for the wee hours of the morning.

uh I got nothing on that.

no secrets is my style, everybody knows whats what, I like to sleep good at night, you know.

if you want a friend feed any animal
Perry Farrell

[Squeak 17]

a lot of what you discribe is stuff that should be out in the open BEFORE a relationship develops. What you highlighted is about compatablity, if you and your other are not compatable you should be looking to identify that BEFORE you establish a relationship.

If you dont your setting youselves up for a very Rocky road (no pun intended )

You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky)
My Life ROCKS!
How's yours doing?

[jumpwally 0]

You are correct,,,thats why flashing is so important....

smile, be nice, enjoy life
FB # - 1083

[pirana 0]

Why so hard?

Well, because you're dealing with Those Darn Humans.

Life would be so easy if it weren't for all TDH's.

" . . . the lust for power can be just as completely satisfied by suggesting people into loving their servitude as by flogging them and kicking them into obedience." -- Aldous Huxley

[Darius11 12]

Unfortunately Katee people are not always the same.
Relationships are very hard and I often think I am better of just writing the whole process off once and for all.
People change they constantly change depending on their mood for the day to there total view of life.


I don’t have any cleaver things to say I just agree that relationships are hard.

I'd rather be hated for who I am, than loved for who I am not." - Kurt Cobain

[Tonto 1]

Relationships are worth it. It's not a relationship if only one person relates.

t

It's the year of the Pig.

[airtwardo 6]

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a lot of what you describe is stuff that should be out in the open BEFORE a relationship develops. What you highlighted is about compatibility, if you and your other are not compatible you should be looking to identify that BEFORE you establish a relationship.

If you don't your setting yourselves up for a very Rocky road (no pun intended )

I disagree to an extent Squeak.

I think you adjust your 'style' if you will, as does the other person into a compatibility range that both are comfortable with...and that take some time.

You can usually tell right away if both people are on the same chapter...but getting to the same page is what the courting is about.

Takes some time to find out whether there is enough 'compatibility overlap' to make a long term relationship work.

To discover if there is more you like about someone than you don't like.

If it doesn't work out, it's not anyones fault unless they dragged it out longer than they should have...

~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

[Icon134 0]

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a lot of what you discribe is stuff that should be out in the open BEFORE a relationship develops. What you highlighted is about compatablity, if you and your other are not compatable you should be looking to identify that BEFORE you establish a relationship.

Actually two people with very different personalities can have a successful relationship as long as they understand their differences, respect each others differences, and communicate with one another... (It also generally gets easier to do that sort of thing as you get older...)

Livin' on the Edge... sleeping with my rigger's wife...

[jumper03 0]

>why are relationships so hard

My own personal take - (not getting into the interpersonal/honesty stuff) -

if something is easy to attain, do you really appreciate it? The things you have to work hardest for are the things that you cherish. I'm not saying that relationships should be difficult all the time but its getting through those difficult times that build the strong bonds and make you realize that it is something special - not just another chore like washing the dishes.

Scars remind us that the past is real

[dharma1976 0]

the only reason is cause you aint dating me :-P

D

http://www.skyjunky.com

CSpenceFLY - I can't believe the number of people willing to bet their life on someone else doing the right thing.

[Squeak 17]

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a lot of what you discribe is stuff that should be out in the open BEFORE a relationship develops. What you highlighted is about compatablity, if you and your other are not compatable you should be looking to identify that BEFORE you establish a relationship.

Actually two people with very different personalities can have a successful relationship as long as they understand their differences, respect each others differences, and communicate with one another... (It also generally gets easier to do that sort of thing as you get older...)

COMPATABLE does not mean SAME, and i never once alluded to that being the case..

And Jim yes you need to grow and change together, but if you are not compatable at the start it's going to be up hill from the et go.

You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky)
My Life ROCKS!
How's yours doing?

[Beerlight 0]

Why are they so hard? Because MEN DO NOT KNOW what women are thinking!! Right means left, and left means right...

I love my woman, but damn it takes some serious work to figure out exactly what she means sometimes.

I consider myself to be a passionate guy, but damn if she didn't tell me the other day, "I wish we had more passion", and I was thinking what the fuck!, I'm trying harder at this relationship than any I've ever ever been in..........crap

[cocheese 0]

Because women make them so hard.

Love ya K.

[Conundrum 1]

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Because women make them so hard.

I think people make relationships harder then they have to be. Someone gets in a relationship and isn't happy but they try to force it to work.

Relationships *can be* work, but I wouldn't call them "so hard".

[jumpchikk 0]

All of these comments are very true...it takes two to make the relationship and honesty is the most important thing from the beginning...if the relationship starts out with a lie and/or someone not being totally upfront and honest about who they are, what they want, how they feel, then it's not going to work. Relationships shouldn't be hard because life is hard enough to go through without having to worry about making something mesh with someone. The relationship is what you are supposed to fall back on and feel good about when everything else in your life is going shitty. It's finding peace with someone. I hope you find it, sweetie.

[climbnjump 0]

Maybe relationships are hard because we set them up to be. Sometimes, we can be attracted to people who in the long run are utterly wrong for us. But initially - and in the short run - man, is it fun! It's when reality begins to set in that the relationship becomes "hard".

I don't have the answer for anyone else. But for me, I had to stop looking for relationships that were "exciting" and instead look for relationships that made me feel good. It took me a number of failed attempts to realize that being excited about a relationship wasn't the same as feeling good about a relationship.

(Which isn't to say that I don't feel good about a relationship unless it is devoid of excitement. Oh, crap. Why is talking about relationships so hard...)

[peregrinerose 0]

I don't think relationships are hard at all. They may have a couple of bumpy moments, but good relationships shouldn't be hard.

People tend to be silly sometimes, not communicate at all, say one thing but mean something else, assume the other party knows what they mean, etc. And that's true in any relationship... business, friend, romantic. If people were more honest and straightforward with each other, those 'hard relationships' wouldn't happen nearly as frequently.

Do or do not, there is no try -Yoda

[virgin-burner 1]

yea, relationships are not that hard, just try to keep it to that one night..

“Some may never live, but the crazy never die.”
-Hunter S. Thompson
"No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try."
-Yoda

[Gato 0]

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People tend to be silly sometimes, not communicate at all, say one thing but mean something else, assume the other party knows what they mean, etc. And that's true in any relationship... business, friend, romantic. If people were more honest and straightforward with each other, those 'hard relationships' wouldn't happen nearly as frequently.

Ah, the dangers of assumption and expectation.....

I think most of us are (at least when we're younger) infatuated with the idea of the perfect love, and a relationship that requires little or no maintainence. Romance and sexual attraction are the primary "lens" through which most of us seek a mate, initially.

But romance flies out the damn window when your one true love produces a smelly funk that makes you want to hurl.

The ability to look past such an event is an act of true, unconditional love.

T.I.N.S.

[turtlespeed 212]

Because life is like a box of chocolates . . .

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[goofyjumper 0]

Because you need the same type of personality for it to work.

Example: if you are crazy, then you need someone who is crazy to for it to work.

If you are gay, then you need someone who is gay for it to work........

Good thing I found someone crazy enough to put up with me. Or is it the other way around?

-----------------
I love and Miss you so much Honey!
Orfun #3 ~ Darla

[turtlespeed 212]

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Because you need the same type of personality for it to work.

Example: if you are crazy, then you need someone who is crazy to for it to work.

If you are gay, then you need someone who is gay for it to work........

Good thing I found someone crazy enough to put up with me. Or is it the other way around?

no - really - you had it right.

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[goofyjumper 0]

Quote

Quote

Because you need the same type of personality for it to work.

Example: if you are crazy, then you need someone who is crazy to for it to work.

If you are gay, then you need someone who is gay for it to work........

Good thing I found someone crazy enough to put up with me. Or is it the other way around?

no - really - you had it right.

-----------------
I love and Miss you so much Honey!
Orfun #3 ~ Darla

[peregrinerose 0]

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But romance flies out the damn window when your one true love produces a smelly funk that makes you want to hurl.

The ability to look past such an event is an act of true, unconditional love.

I differ... true love is taking that unbelievable funk and trying to create an even more unbelievable smelly funk in a rich series of relationship enhancing farting contests.

Do or do not, there is no try -Yoda