moodyskydiver 0 #26 October 1, 2003 Don't feel too bad.I have an exfiance who lied about everything...total compulsive liar.He'd prob lie about his own name just b/c hes an ass.Glad I dodged that bullet.I've had other guys that lied to me too,so I'm not real tolerant of it anymore. I've been told there are good guys out there somewhere.I just haven't found them yet.Sry,I'm just jaded.*shrug* "...just an earthbound misfit, I." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tonto 1 #27 October 1, 2003 I lie all the time. If some dude I hardly know says, "Hey, where have you been?" I'll never tell the truth. He has no right. At this point I can say, "Fu(k you! You're fu(king intrusive and it has NOTHING to do with you! Non of my actions in the last hour relate to you so shut the fu(k up." or "I took my trousers to the cleaners." when I really did no such thing. When people are your friends, or have the right to know - like your employer during working hours - I'd probably tell the truth. There are very real reasons why people lie, and every single one of you do it every day. See Jim Carey in "Liar, liar"? What do you think of my hair? Would you like to have dinner with Bill and Anne tonight? Does this dress make me look fat? etc. Lying takes many forms. Wearing make-up, doing your hair, wearing heels, a push-up bra, a toupe. "Your" car on lease. "Your" mortgaged house. Lies. Every one. Representing yourself as someone you are not. That's why most people are self consious when naked in good light. That's the truth. That's who you are. Why the shame? I take plenty of flack from people on this forum for being "abrasive." What that is, is honesty. Flame away. tIt's the year of the Pig. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
nigel99 143 #28 October 1, 2003 Some people lie so much that I honestly don't think that they "know" reality. Most of my direct family sister & parents are liars to the point that they lie even when it is pointless - for example pretending that her kid sleeps through the night - why lie? I guess I grew up in that environment and then got married to someone who was HIGHLY suspicious and after a while of getting caught out it was better to change than divorce. Now it really pisses me off when people lie. I've got a client who so regularly lies that he can't even hide it from his clients Try pretending to own a business jet - how long did he expect to maintain that one?Experienced jumper - someone who has made mistakes more often than I have and lived. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
miked10270 0 #29 October 1, 2003 Quotethis can be used to your advantage... if two men are standing at a fork in the road, one always lies and one always tells the truth - one road leads to town, the othe rot certain doom - what one question can you ask of either of them to find out how to get to town? OK. OK. I remember this one... You ask either one of them "Which road would the other one send me down to certain doom?" and the person will point you towards the safe roadMike. Taking the piss out of the FrenchAmericans since before it was fashionable. Prenait la pisse hors du FrançaisCanadiens méridionaux puisqu'avant lui à la mode. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Samurai136 0 #30 October 1, 2003 Nope. Ask either of them "What would the other guy say is the safe route to town?" Then take the opposite road. Think about it. Ken"Buttons aren't toys." - Trillian Ken Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SkyAnt 0 #31 October 1, 2003 Problem is you generally need a 2nd lie to cover up for the original lie and then it snow balls. Thats why I rarely lie. HONEST! Doh! "All that is necessary for the triumph of evil is that good men do nothing." Edmund Burke (1729-1797) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
txblondie 0 #32 October 1, 2003 If you have an addictive personality, anything can be addictive... ***************************************** Blondes do have more fun! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pammi 0 #33 October 1, 2003 QuoteDon't feel too bad.I have an exfiance who lied about everything...total compulsive liar.He'd prob lie about his own name just b/c hes an ass.Glad I dodged that bullet.I've had other guys that lied to me too,so I'm not real tolerant of it anymore. I've been told there are good guys out there somewhere.I just haven't found them yet.Sry,I'm just jaded.*shrug* Good for you. I spent five years with a liar and am STILL paying for it 4 years later. My kids will be dealing with it for a lifetime. Now I won't tolerate lying about ANYTHING, no matter how small because after all, if you'd lie over the little things, you certainly aren't going to come clean when you REALLY screw up! Pammi Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skytrixaz 0 #34 October 1, 2003 In a nutshell, lying to another person boils down to escaping accountability for whatever reason. The message someone who lies sends is "you aren't worth the truth...I'll just avoid dealing with you." Figure out why you put up with his lying...he'll only treat you the way you let him treat you. g Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skytrixaz 0 #35 October 1, 2003 QuoteI lie all the time. False words are not only evil in themselves, but they infect the soul with evil. -- Socrates Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #36 October 1, 2003 Liars can do it for professional gain. Politicians, used car salesmen, television evangelists, lawyers. Personal gain. Getting laid. Sometimes the gain is small, like avoiding meaningless conflicts. "Where were you?" "At my mothers house". Personal gain can also be measured in terms of self-esteem. Internet trolls who don the garments of a person of acheivement. Generally harmless. The real life version is some loudmouth in a bar. How many posers have you met that claim to have 200 skydives? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skytrixaz 0 #37 October 1, 2003 QuoteLiars can do it for professional gain... My post refers to lying where it relates to Skybabe76's initial question regarding her relationship with her ex-boyfriend...the message he is sending her when he lies is "you aren't worth the truth"...whether its to escape accountability, it frees him from having to deal with her at the moment, conflicts, etc....whatever the payoff is for ex-boyfriend at that given moment. g Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #38 October 1, 2003 QuoteMy post refers to lying where it relates to Skybabe76's initial question regarding her relationship with her ex-boyfriend... I know, but every once in a while I have to vent about television evangelists. Quote...whatever the payoff is for ex-boyfriend at that given moment. That is the answer. Figure out the payoff. What did he gain? Or what situation/conflict did he avoid? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skytrixaz 0 #39 October 1, 2003 Quote...I have to vent about television evangelists. understandable... QuoteThat is the answer. Figure out the payoff. What did he gain? Or what situation/conflict did he avoid? That her ex-boyfriend's job to figure out...not hers. She just needs to figure out why she puts up with his lying... g Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skybabe76 0 #40 October 1, 2003 UPDATE!!! He is going into counceling for his lying "addiction." He has no problem NOW admitting he is a LIAR, but only when I caught him in all these lies. Gee, should I believe that he will follow through??? "If you're going to be stupid, you better be tough!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
QuickDraw 0 #41 October 1, 2003 If he is an ex-boyfriend whats the issue here ? You should be boasting about your new (non lying) boyfriend and all he has to offer. -- Hope you don't die. -- I'm fucking winning Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skybabe76 0 #42 October 1, 2003 Nope, no new boyfriend. I was considering working things out with this man, but I am not sure. He told me today that he is going to get help for this addiction. Should I believe in him? I care about him very much and would like to see things work out, but I see a very nasty car wreck up ahead and I think I should just go with what my inner self is telling me. Don't you think so? "If you're going to be stupid, you better be tough!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zennie 0 #43 October 1, 2003 Quote- Do I look fat in these pants? Answer- I think your blue ones look best. So thaaaat's the way you're supposed to answer that. And here I've thought all these years that there *was* no correct answer... so I generally invoked the 5th. - Z "Always be yourself... unless you suck." - Joss Whedon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skytrixaz 0 #44 October 1, 2003 QuoteGee, should I believe that he will follow through??? First I would tell him all the wonderful things you love about him. I would also tell him how you feel when he lies to you without blaming (i.e., I don't feel like you value me and it makes me question whether I'm valueable...just an example...you can fill in with your own feelings). Hold him accountable for his actions and expect him to follow through. Remember...he'll treat you whatever way you allow him to treat you. You're also being challenged to grow. I wish you the best.g Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
chicagoskydiver 0 #45 October 1, 2003 If I said it wasn't, would you believe me?Hackey Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gawain 0 #46 October 1, 2003 QuoteDo you think maybe he's addicted to lying? Yes.So I try and I scream and I beg and I sigh Just to prove I'm alive, and it's alright 'Cause tonight there's a way I'll make light of my treacherous life Make light! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gawain 0 #47 October 1, 2003 QuoteDo you think maybe he's addicted to lying? No. So I try and I scream and I beg and I sigh Just to prove I'm alive, and it's alright 'Cause tonight there's a way I'll make light of my treacherous life Make light! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
QuickDraw 0 #48 October 1, 2003 You really have to ask yourself the question, "Am i lying to myself ?" If you think he will go for treatment, then fair enough. I have found that liars always opt for the easy way out of anything, and the easiest thing for them to do is lie. Just out of curiosity is this your first real long term relationship ? -- Hope you don't die. -- I'm fucking winning Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skybabe76 0 #49 October 1, 2003 Quote I have found that liars always opt for the easy way out of anything, and the easiest thing for them to do is lie. Geez, did you hit the nail on the head. Thank you for your great advice. Quote Just out of curiosity is this your first real long term relationship? I've been married before. I was married once before at 22, divorced my 25 ... I'm 27 now and still not learning from my experiences. I think I need help for myself. "If you're going to be stupid, you better be tough!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
QuickDraw 0 #50 October 1, 2003 QuoteI think I need help for myself. I think you just need a little confidence (as we all do from time to time). Get yourself to a dropzone and flirt your ass off. And buy beer too, thats always a good start. -- Hope you don't die. -- I'm fucking winning Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
