bluerosie 0 #1 November 9, 2007 If you are walking somewhere in public with your SO, and that person turns to stare at the ass (or boobs or whatever body part) of an attractive person of the same gender as you, how do you feel? I'm not talking a quick, covert glance, but actually turning and gawking. A part of me thinks that's really disrespectful towards your love; the other part says, hell, it's just harmless appreciation of an attractive person. Curious as to how others have felt when in that situation. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Misslmperfect 0 #2 November 9, 2007 i notice attractive females as often as my boyfriend does. we usually check them out together. but i would be a little upset if he "turned and gawked". that would be disrespectful to both me and the other girl. but thats just me.Oh Canada, merci pour la livraison! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TrophyHusband 0 #3 November 9, 2007 doesn't bother me a bit "Your scrotum is quite nice" - Skymama www.kjandmegan.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
streaker 0 #4 November 9, 2007 From my perspective staring,drooling, whatever at persons of the opposite sex while in the company of your SO is more a religious experience that an act of lustful thinking. God is good....Can I get an amen brothers? Streaker Have a yippee ki ya day! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
cocheese 0 #5 November 9, 2007 Staring too long is just plain dangerous. Should watch where you're going. Oh and it's also rude to do that. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PRSKY71 0 #6 November 9, 2007 Quote From my perspective staring,drooling, whatever at persons of the opposite sex while in the company of your SO is more a religious experience that an act of lustful thinking. God is good....Can I get an amen brothers? Streaker Ok, the bolded part went right over my head. Of course, I'm a girl and maybe that's why, but what in the world does this mean? Character cannot be made except by a steady, long continued process. -- Phillips Brooks Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nightingale 0 #7 November 9, 2007 Quote If you are walking somewhere in public with your SO, and that person turns to stare at the ass (or boobs or whatever body part) of an attractive person of the same gender as you, how do you feel? I'm not talking a quick, covert glance, but actually turning and gawking. A part of me thinks that's really disrespectful towards your love; the other part says, hell, it's just harmless appreciation of an attractive person. Curious as to how others have felt when in that situation. Personally, I only have an issue with it when the person I'm with doesn't point out who they're staring at so I can look too! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PRSKY71 0 #8 November 9, 2007 Quote If you are walking somewhere in public with your SO, and that person turns to stare at the ass (or boobs or whatever body part) of an attractive person of the same gender as you, how do you feel? I'm not talking a quick, covert glance, but actually turning and gawking. A part of me thinks that's really disrespectful towards your love; the other part says, hell, it's just harmless appreciation of an attractive person. Curious as to how others have felt when in that situation. I have been thinking about this a lot lately. You know, trying to figure out if the alleged "turning and gawking" is in my mind or if it actually is happening. For me, and I do not pretend to speak for others, those moments whether imagined, real, or just exaggerated in my mind, have been very hurtful. After a recent very long conversation with SO, I have come to the conclusion that this topic will always come down to a battle of the sexes. He will always deny it or play it down, she will always play it up, make a big deal about it, and allow herself to be hurt. I have simply put my blinders on -- if it happens once, it will always happen. Maybe we should just start "turning and gawking" at the opposite sex too!!!! -- CAVEAT: unless the opposite sex is with his SO, 'cause then it's just rude!! Character cannot be made except by a steady, long continued process. -- Phillips Brooks Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PRSKY71 0 #9 November 9, 2007 Quote Quote If you are walking somewhere in public with your SO, and that person turns to stare at the ass (or boobs or whatever body part) of an attractive person of the same gender as you, how do you feel? I'm not talking a quick, covert glance, but actually turning and gawking. A part of me thinks that's really disrespectful towards your love; the other part says, hell, it's just harmless appreciation of an attractive person. Curious as to how others have felt when in that situation. Personally, I only have an issue with it when the person I'm with doesn't point out who they're staring at so I can look too! Gosh, I wish I could have that openness about this too. I honestly wish that I could. What is wrong with me? Character cannot be made except by a steady, long continued process. -- Phillips Brooks Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nightingale 0 #10 November 9, 2007 It's insecurity. Period. If you can't be open with someone you love, who can you be open with? You have to remember that your SO is with you because they see something special in YOU, not in some random person on the street, no matter how attractive they are. Being with your SO wouldn't be nearly as fun if he/she didn't have a healthy appreciation for your gender, right? Let them look. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PRSKY71 0 #11 November 9, 2007 Quote It's insecurity. Period. If you can't be open with someone you love, who can you be open with? You have to remember that your SO is with you because they see something special in YOU, not in some random person on the street, no matter how attractive they are. Being with your SO wouldn't be nearly as fun if he/she didn't have a healthy appreciation for your gender, right? Let them look. Well, "looking" is fine. But do you not recognize a difference between "turning and gawking" and just noticing and glancing at someone discretely. For goodness sake, I look at the opposite sex too, but is it ok to have it thrown in your face, so to speak? I believe that is what the original post was referencing. Character cannot be made except by a steady, long continued process. -- Phillips Brooks Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skymama 35 #12 November 9, 2007 To me, it is harmless. Life is too short to get upset about stuff like that.She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
misskriss 0 #13 November 9, 2007 Gawking is disrespectful in my opinion. My ex could be a gawker at times and it always bothered me. I don't think that made me insecure. If I told him it bothered me he would tell me it was no big deal. He really didn't care about my feelings at all. Whether it is right or wrong doesn't matter but what matters is the individuals involved and what's acceptable between them. Boundaries are different for everyone. What might be okay for one person isn't necessarily okay with someone else. I remarried a wonderful man and I have never noticed him looking at another woman. I asked him once jokingly if he ever checked out other girls. "Why would I want to when I have you, " he says. It may sound corny and maybe he's just saying it but he makes me feel like the only woman in the world. It works for me. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
streaker 0 #14 November 9, 2007 Quote Quote From my perspective staring,drooling, whatever at persons of the opposite sex while in the company of your SO is more a religious experience that an act of lustful thinking. God is good....Can I get an amen brothers? Streaker Ok, the bolded part went right over my head. Of course, I'm a girl and maybe that's why, but what in the world does this mean? Simply put, we are not thinking lustful thoughts...merely enjoying one of God's many graces.....hot ass women!Have a yippee ki ya day! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nightingale 0 #15 November 9, 2007 Quote Well, "looking" is fine. But do you not recognize a difference between "turning and gawking" and just noticing and glancing at someone discretely. For goodness sake, I look at the opposite sex too, but is it ok to have it thrown in your face, so to speak? I believe that is what the original post was referencing. What exactly is being "thrown in your face"? The fact that your man likes women? Or that he might find someone other than you attractive? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
grue 1 #16 November 9, 2007 Everyone's eyes wander. It's when they go back for a second look that the SO should be concerned. Unless she's looking too, in which case it's time to go buy some chick drinks.cavete terrae. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mamajumps 0 #17 November 9, 2007 Quote Personally, I only have an issue with it when the person I'm with doesn't point out who they're staring at so I can look too! Ditto thats me.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 34 #18 November 9, 2007 One of the things my wife and I like to do at the mall is "people-watching". We talk about how a lady looks or dresses if she is "putting out" so to speak. It's fun! Nobody can understand us! "Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
misskriss 0 #19 November 9, 2007 People watching is fun...especially in Orlando. I've become an expert at figuring out who is a British tourist. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jewels 0 #20 November 9, 2007 Reality is that men are visual and they are going to take notice of attractive women when they see them. I have no problem with this. It's how they react to it that matters to me, and I have to say I'm in the "rude and disrespectful" camp when the response is outright gawking. If you're with your SO, I think it is discourteous to them--and rude to the person you're gawking at (female OR male). I'm talking about real gawking and have no issues with it if you're close to each other and it's just a comment or a discussion about someone you happen to see. Observing that someone else is attractive isn't necessarily a big deal. Once it crosses the line into gawking, though, it starts belittling the SO and implies that there's something better out there to be had. I don't think that's insecurity at all; I think it's a sign that the gawker is inconsiderate. I've heard it said time and again that women seek love and men seek respect (generally speaking, of course). A woman gawking at other men isn't respectful of her SO and a man gawking at other women isn't loving to his SO. It can't strengthen the relationship to do that.TPM Sister #102 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 212 #21 November 9, 2007 I generally let the girl that I'm with pick out the hot ones and then discuss it.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
normiss 622 #22 November 9, 2007 no shit! crocs, sandals with socks (sorry Dave!), pasty white skin, soccer clothing...typical first clues...my girlfriend keeps saying "We're going to hell for this" we really people watch a lot. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jewels 0 #23 November 9, 2007 People watching is fun! There's a lot to watch out there, too. (I just think drooling is gauche.)TPM Sister #102 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skymama 35 #24 November 9, 2007 Quotecrocs, sandals with socks (sorry Dave!), pasty white skin, soccer clothing...typical first clues... Haha...I was going to ask if it was the pasty, white skin too!She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
livendive 8 #25 November 9, 2007 I don't think I gawk per say, but Erin and I point hot chicks out to each other, and when she's assigning tandems, she usually gives the spinner types to me. She rocks! Blues, Dave "I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!" (drink Mountain Dew) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
