bigway 4 #26 December 20, 2007 I have been traveling for a long time so have spent plenty of time in bars around the world.... I think i have come across this situation about 5 or 6 times. When i hear someone in a bar tell a chick that he is a skydiver my eyes pop out of my head as i know i am going to be in for some entertainment. You can hear it in their voices when they are full of it, just the way they say 'i am a professional skydiver'. .Karnage Krew Gear Store . Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SwampThing 0 #27 December 20, 2007 Gee, I bet that guy saying he was a door gunner on the Space Shuttle was bullshitting too? The Pessimist says: "It can't possibly get any worse!" The Optimist says: "Sure it can!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RkyMtnHigh 0 #28 December 20, 2007 Yep..the 'tenders here knew my background and were chuckling inside as they heard the convo unfold..they couldn't believe how long I held out on "enlightening" the dude but helped me play along as long as I did. Hey..it's all good. No hard feelings but I am now aware of the frauds out there and my senses are heightened _________________________________________ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bigway 4 #29 December 20, 2007 not many skydivers sit in a bar telling people they are a 'pro' skydiver. .Karnage Krew Gear Store . Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SwampThing 0 #30 December 20, 2007 Quote not many skydivers sit in a bar telling people they are a 'pro' skydiver. Good point! Wish I could have seen the guys face when you busted him! The Pessimist says: "It can't possibly get any worse!" The Optimist says: "Sure it can!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RkyMtnHigh 0 #31 December 20, 2007 I certainly didn't. He was a random kid sitting next to me telling me his bullshit "impressive story" I never let lil Jake know I had anything to do with the sport until he got into him being an instructor and then I showed him my USPA card. _________________________________________ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
waltappel 1 #32 December 20, 2007 Quote I never let lil Jake know I had anything to do with the sport until he got into him being an instructor and then I showed him my USPA card. You carry your USPA card with you?Walt Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BIGUN 1,051 #33 December 20, 2007 Quote He excused himself to the restroom and never came back I got SHRINKAGE!!! Good job. Nobody has time to listen; because they're desperately chasing the need of being heard. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bolas 5 #34 December 20, 2007 Quote not many skydivers sit in a bar telling people they are a 'pro' skydiver. Most 'pro' skydivers can't afford a bar. The only other people as much fun to screw with are psychology students that try to analyze you at a party. My favorite line when they started in on what was the reason I was getting drunk: "Well, (long pause, look sad) I drink to forget." "What are you trying to forget." "I dunno. (pause, big smile) COOL!!! IT WORKED!!!" Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AggieDave 6 #35 December 20, 2007 We had a guy do that to us at a bar on Northgate a few years ago. Whats messed up is that Morgan and I were wearing our DZ's staff t-shirts and that's what started the conversation. He had similar skydiving experience as your story telling bar "friend" but it was at a DZ out in Virginia. When I asked if he was at Orange he said "where?" Idiot, gosh!--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RkyMtnHigh 0 #36 December 20, 2007 Quote Quote I never let lil Jake know I had anything to do with the sport until he got into him being an instructor and then I showed him my USPA card. You carry your USPA card with you?Walt i'm a GIRL! I have a WALLET! I have a PURSE! so yeah, my USPA card is in there somewhere! _________________________________________ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RkyMtnHigh 0 #37 December 20, 2007 Quote Quote He excused himself to the restroom and never came back I got SHRINKAGE!!! Good job. Thanks. Pats appreciated _________________________________________ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DavidB 0 #38 December 20, 2007 BRAVO!When the only tool you have is a hammer, every problem looks like a nail. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DFWAJG 4 #39 December 20, 2007 Iget the same entertainment with inmates who malinger schizophrenia. "so, when you hear voices, do you hear them in the left ear or the right?" "Do things seem to change in your cell, like get bigger?" "Do you see little people, too?" "What color are they?" then I bust 'em. The CO's love it! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
galvar2439 0 #40 December 20, 2007 way cool, i totally get why he did that, and so does every other guy reading this.I tried it once with a slightly older gal who was in nuclear medicine, wish i had known that before i started the conversation. Like the other guy said, Its what we do, especially if we are trying to get laid. Funny thing though, Now that i actually have something i always tell younger women i work at McDonalds or Lowes. Then you find out if they like you or your wallet. My how things change with years.So i just broke up with this woman who wasn't even my girlfriend! Hellfish #782, POPS #10664 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lippy 771 #41 December 20, 2007 Quote Quote not many skydivers sit in a bar telling people they are a 'pro' skydiver. Most 'pro' skydivers can't afford a bar. The only other people as much fun to screw with are psychology students that try to analyze you at a party. My favorite line when they started in on what was the reason I was getting drunk: "Well, (long pause, look sad) I drink to forget." "What are you trying to forget." "I dunno. (pause, big smile) COOL!!! IT WORKED!!!" I got nuthin Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sdub2221 0 #42 December 20, 2007 Hmmm, Im 22 and have 70ish jumps, what bars do you freqently attend? Nah, wouldn't work Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
akarunway 1 #43 December 20, 2007 Quote This kid I met the other night, who's 22, tried to "impress" me by telling me that he's a pilot and that he jumps from "perfectly good airplanes". Okay, as SOON as I heard the "jumps from perfectly good airplanes" I knew I was dealing with a whuffo bullshitter. So, WTF, I decide to have fun with the kid. The conversation begins with his b.s...then I respond with "OMG, wow!, reeeeeeeeeally? that's soooo cool!" which leads this lil punk into elaborating his story even more! He goes so far as saying that he's a Tandem Instructor! I am laughing inside but decide to keep the play going and ask him "wow! an Instructor! Where? Can you teach me?" so he proceeds to say "Oh yeah, but it's not local, it's down in Florida somewhere" I say "wow, Florida..no way, it's beautiful there, where?" He said "outside of Daytona Beach, at a place called Deland but I'm sure you've never heard of Deland"..I am FREAKIN DYING INSIDE trying to not blow my cover. I said "wow! how many jumps do you have?" he said "70 jumps!" (I'm dying to contain my laughter) ..I said "WOW! 70 jumps! you're shitting me! That's a lot! So..you can be a Tandem instructor at 70 jumps?" and he said "Yeah! they love me there, I bring them a lot of business because they know I'm good and they trust me"...Holy hell Im holding back the tears at this point..As I continued to ask about his "experience" in the sport, the more he fumbled..not knowing the dzo or cameraflyers or names of Deland Magic, etc...so I whipped out my USPA card and said "do you have one of these?" and he then retracted to say that most of his jumps have been in Peru and Costa Rica and since I had my laptop out, I went on dz.com's home page and did a search to see if the dz's existed and if they looked familiar to this kid and he said "OK OK!!! I lied!!! I lied about it ALL! I'm busted! Shit! this has never backfired on me! Let's still talk okay.." I told him his credibility was shot as far as I'm concerned and questioned the Pilot license as well so there wasn't anything else to talk about. He excused himself to the restroom and never came backSome people's kids.......BRAT!!!!..... Yeah. Kinda like all the people I've met that were Navy Seals. BTW. Where can I find that (retired) list? One of the families husbands claims to have been one. I'd like to see if he's lying. And it's sooo easy to pick a lying wuffo out. Two questions. Usually one good one.I hold it true, whate'er befall; I feel it, when I sorrow most; 'Tis better to have loved and lost Than never to have loved at all. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SwampThing 0 #44 December 20, 2007 http://elticitl.tripod.com/ashton.html Bottom of the page has some links, there use to be a list from the SEAL museum but I don't see it now. The Pessimist says: "It can't possibly get any worse!" The Optimist says: "Sure it can!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
akarunway 1 #45 December 20, 2007 Quote Quote I never let lil Jake know I had anything to do with the sport until he got into him being an instructor and then I showed him my USPA card. You carry your USPA card with you?Walt I carry the little cover for it w/ me. My SS Card fits perfect in there.I hold it true, whate'er befall; I feel it, when I sorrow most; 'Tis better to have loved and lost Than never to have loved at all. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Krip 2 #46 December 20, 2007 Quote i'm a GIRL! I have a WALLET! I have a PURSE! so yeah, my USPA card is in there somewhere! Rocky mtn If you carry a purse your more than a girl your a lady A cruel Lady but still a lady.FWIW just last week we met a sweet you thing (girl without purse) "skydiver" (age hard to tell maybe mid 20's to mid 30's at a xmas party for a great Dane rescue group. We're new to the group and the girl was introduced to me as a risk taker because she was a skydiver. A skydiver thats How many jumps? 3 s/l Where you do that stuff? In England when she was 18y.o.Wow I was considering my options: inviteing her to the local DZ's Xmas party the next week located 60 miles away, free food, booze and lot of young male hard bodies that don't know how to say no to a live female. Just turn her on to the DZ websight she can drive herself. Tell her I was a skydiver also I don't carry my log books or USPA card unless it's a new DZ and I'm unknown. So one BS story to another BS story.Since I'm nor cruel I try and be what the hell Why blow her cover you want me to acknowledge that your a skydiver because you made 3 S/L jumps 10 yr's ago OK. Your a skydiverI think it gives peeps a warm fuzzy feeling struting their stuff telling folks their a skydiver wannabe, or 1 tandem with video and pics to prove it, 3 s/l 's calls themselves Jerry Bird why ruin it. for themBut it is entertaining. Sounds like the sport is growing instead of getting smaller. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Krip 2 #47 December 20, 2007 Quote http://elticitl.tripod.com/ashton.html Bottom of the page has some links, there use to be a list from the SEAL museum but I don't see it now. My bro is 2 yr's older than me and he calls me today (Xmas howdy) asks BTW since I'm a vet if he can join the American Legion (A.L)For some reason the guy wanted to join the A.L.and thought if I was a member he could get in as my bro. Why would I want to be a memberSorry dude I'm not a member, don't think you can gt in without being a vet but if the A.L. have a family plan and you want in whatever I'll join. Googled the A.L. websight old guy's wearing funny colored hats with buttons and numbers. (Red Cunt Caps)Found out If my bro was my son he could join the A.L. If he was my wife, sister daughter etc he could join the A.L. womens auxilary. Had to call my bro back and tell him to bad so sadI had to ask why he wanted to join He live's in the D.C. metro plex and some of his friends have something to do with the A.L. and he wants to hang with them and help out the wounded vets.OK I call the local chapter: anyone can volunteer to help out the A.L. their not members their volunteersI pass the word on to my bro but I'm If you want to help the wounded vets, Walter reed isn't the place to get your ticket punched their turning away volunteers. Get off your ass and tell your buddies and tell them that there are a lot of wounded vets with and without physical scars that need help.GET OFF YOU ASS and WRITE YOUR CONGRESS PEEPs to get the VA FUBAR FIXED and TELL YOUR FRIENDS TO DO LIKEWISE.What the hell is the A.L. doing about it?I was not nice and showed no mercy. First I laughed bout it then I got I think the majority of the american public either don't give a shit about our wounded vets or think slogans is all that is required. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 34 #48 December 20, 2007 Quote How did you keep it together? I couldn't have. Neither could I! Katee, you ROCK! "Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 34 #49 December 20, 2007 Quote not many skydivers sit in a bar telling people they are a 'pro' skydiver. I don't even mention that I skydive unless a friend or relative mentions it to others and then they start asking me stuff. I would love to catch a bullshitter, but it would have to be someone who knows sign language for me to be able to carry on a good conversation. "Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
lippy 771 #50 December 20, 2007 I used to tell EVERYBODY! Not bragging or claiming to be a 'pro', it was just so new and exciting and I wanted to share. Now it's usually not worth the troubleI got nuthin Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
