RkyMtnHigh 0 #1 December 19, 2007 This kid I met the other night, who's 22, tried to "impress" me by telling me that he's a pilot and that he jumps from "perfectly good airplanes". Okay, as SOON as I heard the "jumps from perfectly good airplanes" I knew I was dealing with a whuffo bullshitter. So, WTF, I decide to have fun with the kid. The conversation begins with his b.s...then I respond with "OMG, wow!, reeeeeeeeeally? that's soooo cool!" which leads this lil punk into elaborating his story even more! He goes so far as saying that he's a Tandem Instructor! I am laughing inside but decide to keep the play going and ask him "wow! an Instructor! Where? Can you teach me?" so he proceeds to say "Oh yeah, but it's not local, it's down in Florida somewhere" I say "wow, Florida..no way, it's beautiful there, where?" He said "outside of Daytona Beach, at a place called Deland but I'm sure you've never heard of Deland"..I am FREAKIN DYING INSIDE trying to not blow my cover. I said "wow! how many jumps do you have?" he said "70 jumps!" (I'm dying to contain my laughter) ..I said "WOW! 70 jumps! you're shitting me! That's a lot! So..you can be a Tandem instructor at 70 jumps?" and he said "Yeah! they love me there, I bring them a lot of business because they know I'm good and they trust me"...Holy hell Im holding back the tears at this point..As I continued to ask about his "experience" in the sport, the more he fumbled..not knowing the dzo or cameraflyers or names of Deland Magic, etc...so I whipped out my USPA card and said "do you have one of these?" and he then retracted to say that most of his jumps have been in Peru and Costa Rica and since I had my laptop out, I went on dz.com's home page and did a search to see if the dz's existed and if they looked familiar to this kid and he said "OK OK!!! I lied!!! I lied about it ALL! I'm busted! Shit! this has never backfired on me! Let's still talk okay.." I told him his credibility was shot as far as I'm concerned and questioned the Pilot license as well so there wasn't anything else to talk about. He excused himself to the restroom and never came back Some people's kids.......BRAT!!!!..... _________________________________________ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
2fat2fly 0 #2 December 19, 2007 How did you keep it together? I couldn't have.I am not the man. But the man knows my name...and he's worried Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
windcatcher 0 #3 December 19, 2007 Ha ha that's freakin hilarious! I would've tried and got as much info out of him as possible before embarassing him though. Hehehe, an instructor at only 70 jumps? Mother to the cutest little thing in the world... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
psipike02 0 #4 December 19, 2007 BAHAHAHAAHAAHAHAAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHAAHAHAHAH I wouldve lost it....I bet you loved every minute and slowly kept reliving it, just dying laughing... Nice job...hahaahahaahaha That's why if you gonna have the balls to drop a story like that, you do the research BEFOREHAND and makes sure you have your facts straight....or just get downright embarrased like RkyMtn did to this guy...hahaahahah Puttin' some stank on it. ----Hellfish #707---- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Samurai136 0 #5 December 19, 2007 Doh! You should have asked him to explain how you can breathe in freefall and explain why you go up when the parachute opens and what those little parachute thingy's are and then asked him how far he can swoop... and... You could have strung him along for a few free pitchers & shots... geez.edit: next time you see him ask him to explain BASE jumping and those wingsuit things.. How long has the phrase "b a s e j u m p i n g" been automatically hotlinked? "Buttons aren't toys." - Trillian Ken Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #6 December 19, 2007 Be careful about telling liars how you busted them. It educates them. In the future, he'll just be a better liar. He has probably talked to people before, or noticed the reaction that others got. He got a minimal amount of information. (edited to add) Were you carrying your USPA card as a form of ID in the bar? I use my Huckleberry Hound Club card. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RkyMtnHigh 0 #7 December 19, 2007 I couldn't BELIEVE how long I kept it going without EXCUSING MY-SELF due to pee'ing my pantz!When I explained to him about the # of jumps for each license and rating, he was such a dipshit and said that he was exempt from that and I said "oh..really? hmmm"...Bah! he's just a young punk bullshitter from Miami who was up here. He can't live as a fraud forever! eventually he tells his "story" to someone who actually knows better and is busted! _________________________________________ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RkyMtnHigh 0 #8 December 19, 2007 Quote Doh! You should have asked him to explain how you can breathe in freefall and explain why you go up when the parachute opens and what those little parachute thingy's are and then asked him how far he can swoop... and... You could have strung him along for a few free pitchers & shots... geez.edit: next time you see him ask him to explain BASE jumping and those wingsuit things.. How long has the phrase "b a s e j u m p i n g" been automatically hotlinked? Thanks! When lil JAKE comes back here...I can't wait to ask him "how cool is it when your parachute goes back UP when you deploy!" _________________________________________ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
masterrig 1 #9 December 19, 2007 Nice job! This kid might think twice before laying that line on some little sweet-thing, again! That's hilarious! I wonder how he likes his 'crow'? Chuck Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gawain 0 #10 December 19, 2007 You are a better person than I. Great story!! So I try and I scream and I beg and I sigh Just to prove I'm alive, and it's alright 'Cause tonight there's a way I'll make light of my treacherous life Make light! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SwampThing 0 #11 December 19, 2007 Did the same thing once, but handed the guy my cell phone to call "his" DZ and make my first jump reservation. "Homma homma homma, okay I lied." The Pessimist says: "It can't possibly get any worse!" The Optimist says: "Sure it can!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ryoder 1,380 #12 December 19, 2007 I had a somewhat similar experience with a chick one time. She started out with 30 jumps. As I showed interest and kept asking questions, her experience level went down to 15 jumps...then 7...then she finally admitted to only 1. At that point she asked me: "You're a skydiver, aren't you?" "There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TrophyHusband 0 #13 December 19, 2007 you fucked up a chance to get a 22 year old piece of ass. you should have banged him and walked out, leaving him sticky and confused. "Your scrotum is quite nice" - Skymama www.kjandmegan.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kschilk 0 #14 December 19, 2007 That's hilarious.....can I use that in my movie?! I kinda' get the same thing.....seems like every li'l squat I meet, used to be a Navy Seal or Green Beret. I love the 20 somethings, that served in 'Nam....musta' been in the "Justborn Division". "T'was ever thus." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RkyMtnHigh 0 #15 December 19, 2007 Quote you fucked up a chance to get a 22 year old piece of ass. you should have banged him and walked out, leaving him sticky and confused. KJ...I'd expect YOU to say that!B-TARD! _________________________________________ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DangerRoo 0 #16 December 19, 2007 nicely done!! (I.C.D#2 VP) ""I'm good with my purple penis straw" ~sky mama Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ryoder 1,380 #17 December 19, 2007 Quote Hehehe, an instructor at only 70 jumps? How things change. My first-jump instructor had barely over 100 jumps. My SL jumpmaster probably had a few more than that. The most experienced guy on the DZ had 900."There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wrightskyguy 1 #18 December 20, 2007 Awww, cut him some slack, he was trying to get laid. Men sometimes embellish a little when they're trying to impress the ladies. It's just our way. John Wright World's most beloved skydiver Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bolas 5 #19 December 20, 2007 Quote This kid I met the other night, who's 22, tried to "impress" me I'd be flattered if a 22 year chick tried to impress me. Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RkyMtnHigh 0 #20 December 20, 2007 Quote Awww, cut him some slack, he was trying to get laid. Men sometimes embellish a little when they're trying to impress the ladies. It's just our way. Geez Guy! I can't believe you said that OUTLAID!..oh shit did I say that OUTLOUD? _________________________________________ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RkyMtnHigh 0 #21 December 20, 2007 Quote Quote This kid I met the other night, who's 22, tried to "impress" me I'd be flattered if a 22 year chick tried to impress me. Ahhhh, it just gets YOUNG.... I mean, umm...OLLLLLLD!!! _________________________________________ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
selbbub78 0 #22 December 20, 2007 That's SOOOOO awesome!!!!!! I so wish you were able to get video of it, and ya... ...how in the world did you manage to keep a straight face... No way would I have been able to do that!!!!!! WAY TO GO!!!!! FREAKIN' HILARIOUS!!!!! CReW Skies, bubbles "Women fake orgasms - men fake whole relationships" – Sharon Stone "The world is my dropzone" (wise crewdog quote) "The light dims, until full darkness pierces into the world."-KDM Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RkyMtnHigh 0 #23 December 20, 2007 My empathetic, compassionate side of myself makes that possible _________________________________________ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
bigway 4 #24 December 20, 2007 Thats awesome!!! At my local in New Zealand there are alot of backpackers that drink there. The guys that work there no that i jump and they had a backpacker, trying to pick up one of the staff members by telling her all about him being a tandem instructor at the place that i was working. They went along with it as they knew i would be in that night and would get a laugh out of it. As i sit down with my mate that he is trying to pick up he offers to take her skydiving for the next day at the dropzone that i work at and apparently he runs. I thought i would see how much this guy actually knows and the first question i asked him was.... Do you jump squares or roundies? He replies, "well, I pack it round but it comes out square". I let him keep bragging about jumping for a while (I was actually wearing a 120 skydiving tshirt with a picture of three guys head down at the time as well). Anyway, he then proceeds to make the time to pick her up and take her on her free tandem jump with him from 4000 feet. I asked if i could come as well.. He said to me that he cant take more than one person for free because he is only allowed to take one friend a day for free and they were also fully booked. I said to him that i reackon he could get away with taking me for a jump as well but he then got shitty and said to me, please go away, i am inviting her and not you. I got up and was pretending to walk away when i turned back around and pulled out my card (I was the marketing Manager of the DZ att he time) I handed him my card and said to him, Maybe if you call me in the morning i can give you a discount but there is no way i can let you jump out with a passenger from 4000 feet on your own... Maybe if you would like i could set you up with a learn to skydive lesson. The funny thing is, he also excused himself to the restroom and never came back. You know, if you have never come across a whoffo bullshiting just know that it is one of things that just makes your night so much better than you had planned on it being, it is like hitting the jackpot as the entertainment you can have from it is unlimited and can go so far, expecially when you are with a group and they all know that you are pulling him along for a laugh. .Karnage Krew Gear Store . Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RkyMtnHigh 0 #25 December 20, 2007 That's Great! Lots of whack-a-doos out there..they get away with it for a time, but not forever. _________________________________________ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
