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windcatcher

Is a man pursuing a woman archaic to you guys???

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They say that sometimes half the fun is in the hunt. ;)
That said if there are obvious signs being given to the effect that "it ain't happening babe" then move on. There is always another one out there to steal your heart if you want them to.
Rainbo
TheSpeedTriple - Speed is everything
"Blessed are those who can give without remembering, and take without forgetting."

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With my hubby there was no chasing either way, really.

I called him on the phone 2 days after a blind double date that we were on:

8am Saturday morning -Jaye -"Hi, is this Joe? Well Joe get up and get dressed. I'll be over to pick you up in a half hour."
Joe -"Who is this?"
Jaye -"It's Jaye. We went out with Brian and Natalie a few days ago. Get dressed, we're going to a street fair. I just got off shift. I have to stop by the barracks and change out of uniform & then I'm on my way."
Joe -"Uh, Ok!"

It took about 5 hours of walking around with him to know I wanted to marry him. :)
Note to self: that was the one and only time in our history together that I've ever gotten to boss him around...he's a tough dude if he wants to be! :P
~Jaye
Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action.

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is courting a thing of the past too??? [:/]



There are gentlemen out there, who court women, but they are probably not common, nowadays. Personally, I love to be courted/romanced, which is quite different than being "chased". I could only feel apathy or friendship feelings, if a man were to be either not interested or pretended to be uninterested romantically.

Still, everyone is different. Men and women should do whatever is ok for them in their relationships. There are no rules for love. Each person's needs and wants are different. The nice thing about finding the right person is finding someone who wants and needs the same things as you.

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If one side has to pursue, cajole and overcome the resistance of the other side, the whole relationship is going to be like that - and that's no fun.



Now, you all have to admit, that's freaking hilarious!



Hits home, eh, Remi? :D
"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke

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I figured that you 'guys' had this unspoken code of 'I met her first' kinda thing...



I've only seen that amongst women and, more to the point, your roomie has a girlfriend! How many does he need? :S

Ask the cute guy if he wants to hang out and drink coffee. See what happens.

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I hope not. I never know if they like me or not unless they pursue me. If I answer calls and don't avoid them or run away... I like them. But I am very shy, too shy to chase. :$B|



Swede. Your posts light my day, my night. Make me wanna be awake all the time, glued to my screen, trailing every thread, waiting for the next evidence of your being. Every character of every word I read in your posts originates from te soft touch of your fingers on your obeying keyboard. I secretly know that you only post in the bonfire to caress my soul.

Is this obvious? You see? No chasing necessary;)

And now for something completely different: I myself don't believe in the chase as a basis for a great relationship. Hell, I'm still a sucker for love at first sight! She didn't have me at "hello", fuck, she had me already walking thru the door. It's a 2-way thing. I really agree with Bill V.: it's an equality thing that does it for me.

I know that others prefer the "I am a hunter and I'll defend you, you cook me a meal. Ooh, you're a hunter and you defend me, I'll beter cook you a meal." relationship.

La Gonzo "Le chasseur"

***
Nice to meet you toot!

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I gave up chasing a long time ago when I figured out that they run faster than I do these days.

As for being persued, it seems that is no fun for the girls either...I'm too easy to catch.

:D:D:D

I just troll with $100 bills....
My reality and yours are quite different.
I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239

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I've decided not to chase women anymore either...

I won't even chase my dog any more... she is required to bring her toys to me if she wants any treats... :)

you can take the previous line however you like... :P:)
Livin' on the Edge... sleeping with my rigger's wife...

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You get done for stalking or treated like a 'can't read between the lines romantic fool' if you keep pursuing a woman who gives you the snub.:$

It often appears that women that think they need pursuing (something to do with putting money in their purse?) are too high maintanance and not really worth pursuing unless you're just in it for the hunt.

However if you feel true attraction nothing will get in the way of a good track 'em down and wed 'em.:)

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So what do you do if you can't tell the guy is interested. You have great conversations, can laugh the entire time you are together, but you get nervous around him. So you are unsure of what to do.

If you don't wanna loose this person as a friend...how do you go about seeing if he is interested without laying one on him. Wouldn't that ruin the friendship.....or make things uncomforatable??


Well, the friendship is already affected, as you would like to take it to another level. Tell him so. Best case scenario, it's the beginning of something that could be amazing. Worst case scenario, he's not interested. But if it was true friendship, it will survive it. It may take a little bit of a "cooling off" period, but it will resume...

"For once you have tasted Absinthe you will walk the earth with your eyes turned towards the gutter, for there you have been and there you will long to return."

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I hope not. I never know if they like me or not unless they pursue me. If I answer calls and don't avoid them or run away... I like them. But I am very shy, too shy to chase. :$B|



Swede. Your posts light my day, my night. Make me wanna be awake all the time, glued to my screen, trailing every thread, waiting for the next evidence of your being. Every character of every word I read in your posts originates from te soft touch of your fingers on your obeying keyboard. I secretly know that you only post in the bonfire to caress my soul.

Is this obvious? You see? No chasing necessary;)La Gonzo "Le chasseur"

*Swedishcelt rendered speechless. :o:$ lol

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I have been hurt by sticking my neck out, but I have also hurt others by not sharing the same feelings. I try to end it straight away when I work out it is not for me to try to avoid leading anyone on. I just hate when the other person feels embarassed when they have no reason to be. Puts a strain on the relationship.

I try to make it pretty obvious that I like the person, this is my shy way of trying to court. Mind you doesnt work that well for me as i am still single :D And I have a few times where I lead someone on, when not meaning to, by being the nice guy that helps out.

My friends have joked when I dated (for 3 years) someone they met first and stuff, but never hurt any of our friendships, it was all in good fun. I would just go for it. If you feel comfortable I would just call him and be straight with him. If you dont want to get burnt you can always just make it obvious you are interested with your body language. But unfortunately girls are so damn hard to work out that he might not know if you actually like him .

But if it works and you think you are more than just friends, it might be worth wild to make sure that you are both singing from the same page.

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If I answer calls and don't avoid them or run away... I like them.



Damn 'Celt, but I have a number of female friends that I have talked to alot and hung out. And when you ask them if they are interested they say that you are not their type.

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I've always found its quicker and easier to just go ahead and pursue the guy. Less hassle, less worrying about what they think....

Just get 'er done.

-Karen




Now THAT is the kind of courage and self-knowledge I can respect and get excited about. Nice smile too. :)
ANYWAY, the one thing I try to remember is that while people can be shy, pessimistic, bitchy, extroverted, etc....the magic happens when we meet somebody that prompts us to "act or feel differently" than we usually do.

There is a fine line (for me) between a woman who makes the first more or her feelings be known, and one who has to control every aspect of everything they are involed in, nuanced or not. I like my relationships to be egalitarian. You want to let me know how you feel, fantastic. That said, I don't think you should have to do all the cooking and cleaning just like I shouldn't have to do all the tranny work.

just to clarify, I mean tranny as in transmission, er, uh, not the other kind of tranny. "not that there's anything wrong with that" :P

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Funny you should ask!
I just mailed a letter to a girl, have not seen or contacted her in 21 Years!




Damn,You'll have to start a thread about that one and let us know how it goes.



GET THIS! I found her! 22 yrs. later (now) Long story short, I got her number and spoke to her last night! At least I know she's alive and well. Made me think of this thread, so I searched and pulled it back-up.
I feel really good today!

Gary



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