Psychology of Suicide

[Andy9o8 0]

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this is why medication for ADHD is a very bad idea... you never learn to deal with it yourself, in a manner that is self sustaining....

I'm not going to rebut at length, to avoid hijacking a caring, sensitive thread.
But you're simply, and completely, incorrect about that.

[Zenister 0]

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this is why medication for ADHD is a very bad idea... you never learn to deal with it yourself, in a manner that is self sustaining....

I'm not going to rebut at length, to avoid hijacking a caring, sensitive thread.
But you're simply, and completely, incorrect about that.

you would be completely and totally wrong.. as I've been dealing with it for years without meds... but feel free to become/remain drug dependent if you like....

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Those who fail to learn from the past are simply Doomed.

[RkyMtnHigh 0]

Are you using herbal or mineral supplements? any dietary changes? or treatments like acupuncture? just interested.

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[Zenister 0]

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Are you using herbal or mineral supplements? any dietary changes? or treatments like acupuncture? just interested.

Sleep patterns are huge, if I dont get enough, I have issues fast.. diet affects me a good bit as well, but I have a hard time controlling that due to travel. (which also affects sleep so.. it can be a vicious cycle)

Coffee/caffeine has a calming effect instead of the usual 'perk up' most people seem to experience (yes i know it is a drug too)

the biggest factor for me was learning to adjust work habits and planning ahead.. arranging my tasks so that I rarely HAVE to focus on one at length and can work on something else as my thought wanders, so Ive learned to use my 'problem' to my advantage. I'm usually working on 10-15 projects at a time while most of my coworkers average 4 or 5.

I HAVE to have notes and reminders everywhere or I forget things and miss deadlines (lack of focus) so I have more whiteboards with cryptic notes in my work space than anyone i know

for time critical tasks, I actually function better under the pressure of a tight suspense (rather than 'we need this in 2 weeks' as I'll put it away and forget) I tend to leave things hanging without that outside 'push' and external reminders "how is X coming?" etc.. and I'm the first one on the list when something 'extra' has to be done on short notice..

meditation (at first learned through martial arts then expanded) was/is key for me.. anyone can learn to quiet and reorganize their thoughts.... most modern people havent the time or patience to learn to do so, but I do it regularly through out the day (getting my bosses to understand i wasnt simply 'spacing out' was/is always a challenge) and can redirect my attention for hours after. Also "Training" my bosses not to let me 'sit idle' is key as well.. keep me busy or I will do so elsewhere (ive had to quit a couple of jobs because of this)

developing rituals was very important.. I've had to learn how to 'program' myself so that everything doesnt require complete focus.. for lots of tasks my mind is actively racing elsewhere but when I "check myself" the programmed force of habit has helped me through..( most of the time, this causes problems if I havent 'trained' correctly, so I'm very deliberate when learning new things, and simply do not try somethings when I'm at my 'worst')

I've had acupuncture a few times in my life, but not in a controlled enough manner to say how it affects me in that regard, the stress reduction, calming environment and associated relaxation certainly helps but that applies to anything that reduces overall stress levels allowing me to focus on something else for a while than whatever was 'top of the list' that second.

it's always been ridiculous to me that modern societies first response to such 'behavior differences' was to medicate into 'normality' as if people have not been dealing with these same issues for thousands of years... I've seen a few ADHD 'breakdowns' from those who didnt have access to their "regular medication" and absolutely refuse to become that dependent.. honestly this is part of who I am, what makes me different from many others, why would i wish to drug myself into 'normality'??

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Those who fail to learn from the past are simply Doomed.

[RkyMtnHigh 0]

Those are creative ideas to modify your lifestyle to avoid meds. Good for you. That's great

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[Muenkel 0]

Katee,

I think you did more good with this thread than you realize.

Ladonna and Masterblaster, you're both heroes. You know why? Because you've both been so challenged and you have survived. Your testimonials I am sure haven given hope to so many who are too embarrassed to post about themselves. If either of you ever feel the need for a new person to talk to, don't hesitate to pm me.

All dz.commers: One thing I wish you would all learn. Everyone here is not just some 'person on the internet'. They are real people who are possibly going through some of the darkest things that you would never know about. All of these people's lives are as important as yours is. This is why I make it a habit to respond to threads requesting prayers or vibes. This is why I try to wish everyone a happy birthday, even if I do not know them. You never know what that single post can mean to someone.

Now, I'll tell you a story on this topic:

My eldest sister worked with a guy named Craig for many years. He happened to be gay. They were more than just co-workers, they quickly became very close friends. A few times, Craig told my sister that if he ever contracted AIDS, he would commit suicide. My sister always pleaded with him to be careful and begged him never to do that. She told him repeatedly that she would always be there for him. He just needed to reach out to her. One day, he did not show up for work. My sister called his apt. several times and never got an answer. She had a sinking feeling in her mind. She had a spare key to his apt. and went over there. Craig slit both wrists and electrocuted himself in the bathtub. My sister, his closest friend, discovered his body. It was gruesome. She managed to call 911 and then collapsed in shock. After his death, my sister spiraled into a deep depression that lasted approx. 14 months. My sister never was a depressed person. The pain she went through was agonizing. This happened about 10 years ago. She's OK now, but to this day; she cannot speak of Craig without filling up with tears. The agony that is left behind when someone commits suicide is horrible.

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Chris

[lawrocket 3]

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this is why medication for ADHD is a very bad idea... you never learn to deal with it yourself, in a manner that is self sustaining....

I'm not going to rebut at length, to avoid hijacking a caring, sensitive thread.
But you're simply, and completely, incorrect about that.

you would be completely and totally wrong.. as I've been dealing with it for years without meds... but feel free to become/remain drug dependent if you like....

I was, too. And yet, for some reason, all the fucking discipline in the world wouldn't do it for me. Some people need no meds for their Parkinsons. Others do.

Self-discipline works for you. Awesome! Not for me or for others. It's that "differences in people" thing.

My wife is hotter than your wife.

[RkyMtnHigh 0]

I'm so very sorry for your loss.

People who haven't ever been deep in that dark, black hole can't understand what it feels like to be there. They can try to understand but they really don't. It's a place where a rational mind doesn't exist.

It isn't an easy process at all to climb out of that black hole and search for one thing, just one thing that you can be happy about or grateful for, especially when you've had a rough family life (mom and dad fighting most of your childhood and sometimes ending in an ugly divorce), tough time in school just feeling like you belong or being teased and outcasted, or have had traumas such as rape or physical abuse and so on.

So much of emotional trauma results into serious levels of depression which makes one lose hope for any light or an end to the pain.

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[Muenkel 0]

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So much of emotional trauma results into serious levels of depression which makes one lose hope for any light or an end to the pain.

That's why I call these people heroes. They're survivors despite feeling any hope. Most people probably think of these people as weak, when in fact; I think they're stronger than most. I just hope they will begin to believe that.

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Chris

[Brittentay 0]

not many think like you...
its very admirable.

such a feeling of unworthiness. unworthy of feeling happy, so why strive for it?
its a battle that even those who have been through cannot totally understand or voice.

[thank you RkyMtnHigh for posting this]

[RkyMtnHigh 0]

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So much of emotional trauma results into serious levels of depression which makes one lose hope for any light or an end to the pain.

That's why I call these people heroes. They're survivors despite feeling any hope. Most people probably think of these people as weak, when in fact; I think they're stronger than most. I just hope they will begin to believe that.

I totally agree. They are strong, courageous people who have overcome so much. I hope they realize it as well. I think over time that they will.

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[Andy9o8 0]

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this is why medication for ADHD is a very bad idea... you never learn to deal with it yourself, in a manner that is self sustaining....

I'm not going to rebut at length, to avoid hijacking a caring, sensitive thread.
But you're simply, and completely, incorrect about that.

you would be completely and totally wrong.. as I've been dealing with it for years without meds... but feel free to become/remain drug dependent if you like....

I was, too. And yet, for some reason, all the fucking discipline in the world wouldn't do it for me. Some people need no meds for their Parkinsons. Others do.

Self-discipline works for you. Awesome! Not for me or for others. It's that "differences in people" thing.

Zen, I was going to give the exact same reply, but Jerry beat me to it. I am genuinely happy for you and other ADDers who are able to manage their ADD non-medicinally. Many can. Many simply cannot.

I'm in my late 40's and I've spent a lifetime trying both methods (the majority of the time non-medicinally). I know what does and does not work for me. Mere self-discipline has zero to do with it. The fact that non-medicinal coping strategies work for others, or that non-ADDers simply cannot, do not, will not ever understand ADD - and as a result often do not even believe it truly exists - does not negate that.

[Zenister 0]

understandably everyone is different.. but my first question is: have you seriously explored meditation?

not simply taken a class and given up after a week, but studied the various methods (not all work for everyone of course), applied the concepts and practiced daily?? it doesnt come easily (so many give up before they make the first steps of progress) but it has HUGE benefits long term..

because really, how do you think people dealt with this BEFORE modern medication? This is not a 'new' issue...

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Those who fail to learn from the past are simply Doomed.

[lawrocket 3]

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have you seriously explored meditation?

Not "seriously." In terms of breathing techniques, self-hypnosis, and placing myself in quiet silence while trying to relax, uh, yes. And it works a bit.

I went off ADHD meds when I was 17. I graduated college, got my Army commission, graduated law school, passed the California Bar on the first try and did many things simply through sheer willpower and discipline.

But eventually stuff piled up to where I needed help. THat's the most difficult part, by the way. Knowing that the willpower I had shown before just didn't work anymore. And yet, with medication I could do more with less effort.

To each his or her own. But don't rule out modern medicine. We've got our entire freaking history of developing new things and treatments, because for some of us the old way of doing things just does not work.

My wife is hotter than your wife.

[virgin-burner 1]

at least, the thought of sucidie gives you freedom..

for all you guys that never suffered serious depression, manic-depressive chapters in your lifetime.. you wont understand!

suffering ADHD and all its nice advantages, and DISadvantages it brings.. FUCK YOU ALL!!! you'll never get ALL of life that it brings.. and sometimes, for us, ending all this shit, can only be a release..

i'm thinking of it on a daily basis for like 15+ years. all of my so-called friends would be better off without me anyway.. see my latest thread! all i can think of now is: money, chicks former brings, and all the other nice little things my brain can actually think of.. thats pretty a lot.. but believe me, even the most exciting things will never satisfy you..

now, since we have this little ADHD-thread going on, all i can think of you is that you are morons! if i ever make it to heaven, i'll be much longer in place than you could ever think of.. everybody is whinging about death and shit, but to me its gladly welcome! i wont have to think about my daily routines anymore, i'm just free to do whatever i want to!

yea, nobody has ever seen it ever coming! thats just plain BS!!! myself, i'm the happy guy, i talk everybody into doing anything with a huge smile on my face.. its just the stupidity of most people to see under the layer of sheer happiness to see the worst come out. but most people are afraid of this side of the person they are talking to, so they'll simply will deny it! "i've never thought he/she would of done such a thing.."

this thread is BS anyway, as anybody involved which has never experienced it, simply wont understand.. and i'm not talking about the "i feel like shit" EVERYone has once in a while.. i feel like it everyday. i laugh, and the next minute no-one is watching, i'll cry.. you'll never know, if you havent shown true interest. and thats something people hardly ever show.

i mean, just on here, who would ever care if i decided to do something stupid, lets say right after i posted this, or, the next morning!? i havent posted in weeks here, no-one gave a shit.. there was ONE person on here that wrote me a PM after some sort of similar comment on some kind of similar topic. if there was one true friend on this site here, it should be him.. how many members? one in a couple of hundred-thousand? or ten-thousand? whuteva, you guys posting here and NOT caring, you might as well go to hell.. i'm very sure, we'll met up there..

talking about suicide and how everybody suffers from it, well, there were always signs to begin with, it was just your own damn faults not to see them, so stop fucking whinging about it and accept the fact you're one fucking whinging bastard and if you've read the signs from the beginning, you would of asked the right questions, or better, you've just would of listened to them and made them understand you were there to help, when help was needed the most.

“Some may never live, but the crazy never die.”
-Hunter S. Thompson
"No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try."
-Yoda

[VanillaSkyGirl 6]

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I am glad you have skydiving to turn to. I hope to be able to go back in the air.

Maybe when you're better, we can go to the tunnel every now and again. I haven't flown in a tunnel for over a year and a half, so I'd love that as much as you would! Btw, it was GREAT seeing you last night, Ladonna. Despite both your and my crazy schedules, I'm glad that we made the time for dinner!

[legalart 0]

For those of you who know and care about her, I want you to let you know she is still fighting. Three long years of battling the beast.

It is still day to day.

Thank you, Rosa, Gia, and Nick.

[RkyMtnHigh 0]

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For those of you who know and care about her, I want you to let you know she is still fighting. Three long years of battling the beast.

It is still day to day.

Thank you, Rosa, Gia, and Nick.

I'm glad she's still fighting but I hate that it's going on this long. Life is such an amazing journey of ups and downs, successes and failures, pleasures and hurts, heartaches, disappointments, not living up to others expectations as well as your own, feelings of woulda, shoulda, coulda done more..I know every moment of these feelings myself and can only think that EVERY SINGLE DAY IS A BLESSING because I open my eyes and FACE IT, DEAL WITH IT to the best of my ability. That's all I have. I've thought of stupid shit myself over the years when life just got too tough to handle but something, perhaps divine intervention, God, something just made me stick it out another day...so LaDonna, you ARE NOT alone in whatever pain you are feeling. You have people who care about you and WANT to comfort you and be here for you. 24/7, my line is open to listen, to give you a shoulder without judgment, to comfort, to care, ...whatever you need.

BTW..the OP was me attempting to "counsel" myself which I know now is impossible to do. Having a Psych Major doesn't make you skilled at fixing your own life or givng yourself answers to life long questions...I'm still on the Journey....

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[SpeedRacer 1]

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It would piss me off if i wanted to commit suicide and somebody tried to stop me..... it's my life, i'm free to do what ever i please and that includes ending it if i want to

Who the fuck do some people think they are? Nobody has the right to stop somebody committing suicide Do the people who would try and stop somebody comitting suicide preach on about freedoms etc? are they all for human rights, but not if you don't agree with somebody elses action eh?

There's this point of view, then there's this one:

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talking about suicide and how everybody suffers from it, well, there were always signs to begin with, it was just your own damn faults not to see them, so stop fucking whinging about it and accept the fact you're one fucking whinging bastard and if you've read the signs from the beginning, you would of asked the right questions, or better, you've just would of listened to them and made them understand you were there to help, when help was needed the most.

Speed Racer
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[RkyMtnHigh 0]

It's a black hole of pain...it's so deep and dark and its a helluva time to dig and climb out of it. There is no simple answer or fix. Religious ppl try to tell you that God can bring you out of it..well, I'm 40, where has God been for 40 years? He's taking his sweet ass time trying to save me, I guess. I know I'm being a smartass and sarcastic but heck, really, I can't look to anyone but myself to fix/save me.

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[SpeedRacer 1]

My point was that one poster was saying someone would be a bastard for trying to stop someone commiting suicide, and the other one says someone is a bastard for NOT stopping them.

Speed Racer
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[Zenister 0]

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Life is such an amazing journey of ups and downs, successes and failures, pleasures and hurts, heartaches, disappointments, not living up to others expectations as well as your own, feelings of woulda, shoulda, coulda done more....

"there is no secret to balance, you must learn to feel the waves" -cant recall where i heard this tbh

but i have to add... learning to 'enjoy the ride' is key...

because really when you think about it which one is more fun to drive (something everyone can relate to) the long straight unending highway? or the twisting curving road up and down the mountain?

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Those who fail to learn from the past are simply Doomed.

[Richards 0]

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It would piss me off if i wanted to commit suicide and somebody tried to stop me..... it's my life, i'm free to do what ever i please and that includes ending it if i want to

Who the fuck do some people think they are? Nobody has the right to stop somebody committing suicide Do the people who would try and stop somebody comitting suicide preach on about freedoms etc? are they all for human rights, but not if you don't agree with somebody elses action eh?

At some point I suspect that they may feel you are not mentally capable of making that decision. Even if mental health was not the issue and you were of sound mind and body It may be that they do not want to see you dead. Is that so hard to understand? If your wife came to you and said "honey I thought it through and I think I would like to kill myself" would you just say "well dear as much as I will miss you I respect your wishes andwill not stand in your way"?

My biggest handicap is that sometimes the hole in the front of my head operates a tad bit faster than the grey matter contained within.

[PWScottIV 0]

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It would piss me off if i wanted to commit suicide and somebody tried to stop me..... it's my life, i'm free to do what ever i please and that includes ending it if i want to

Who the fuck do some people think they are? Nobody has the right to stop somebody committing suicide Do the people who would try and stop somebody comitting suicide preach on about freedoms etc? are they all for human rights, but not if you don't agree with somebody elses action eh?

I assume that the majority of suicide interventions happen because the person actually WANTS to be stopped. It can't be all that difficult to kill yourself without getting caught. But yeah, if someone REALLY wants to kill themselves, then I think they should have the freedom to do so... Which I think is especially true if someone is suffering from the pain of a terminal illness.

Gravity Waits for No One.

[PWScottIV 0]

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It would piss me off if i wanted to commit suicide and somebody tried to stop me..... it's my life, i'm free to do what ever i please and that includes ending it if i want to

Who the fuck do some people think they are? Nobody has the right to stop somebody committing suicide Do the people who would try and stop somebody comitting suicide preach on about freedoms etc? are they all for human rights, but not if you don't agree with somebody elses action eh?

At some point I suspect that they may feel you are not mentally capable of making that decision. Even if mental health was not the issue and you were of sound mind and body It may be that they do not want to see you dead. Is that so hard to understand? If your wife came to you and said "honey I thought it through and I think I would like to kill myself" would you just say "well dear as much as I will miss you I respect your wishes andwill not stand in your way"?

Think terminal illness... She's going to die anyways and is suffering. If you were sure that she had completely thought it through and wasn't just some fleeting thought, then wouldn't it be selfish to keep her from doing so?

Gravity Waits for No One.