Question about drug tests

[Andy9o8 0]

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Ive sold my piss to my brother for years.

So you are your brother's enabler. For money.

[d_squared431 0]

I dealt with labcorp and Quest(labone) and some random little labs for laborers on locations. When it comes to the location of where the specimens is collect if the proper forms are not filled out out properly then the specimen is rejected and wont be tested. Those errors can be the time,date, initials of patient in the 4-6 places they are called for, and the the person who is doing the paperwork has to sign in several places as well. it is called a chain of custody. Each sample is tested by a lab with a doctor who has an MRO license. Drug screens have to be signed off by an MRO. It is a violation to test a sample without a chain of custody. The facility that has a violation will get their clia(the certificate that is issued to perform certain test in a lab) license revoked. I believe this is a federal regulation amongst labs.

TPM Sister#130ONTIG#1
I love vodka.I love vodka cause it rhymes with Tuaca~LisaH
You having a clean thought is like billyvance having a clean post.iluvtofly

[airtwardo 6]

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I know this sounds horrible but a real good dose of reality would be to have him arrested next time he screws up. Sounds like this boy wont stop until he has a real reason to stop.

The reason that it sounds horrible, is that it is.

Giving a kid an arrest record that follows him around for life. The problem may be resolved in the short term.

Punishing someone permanently for a temporary issue is ridiculous.

It limits their life. Schools look at arrest records.
It puts the brakes on certain jobs immediately.

If the kids a minor the record doesn't follow him forever.

When the minor reaches the age of 18, in many states the record is NOT automatically expunged...the minor must specifically request that it be done.

It they are too lazy or stupid to do that, then record follows them.

I'm going through some of this stuff now and believe me it's not a fun experience.

Kids are of course all different, many do not respond to the mentoring, to the close supervision, to the multitude of other suggestions offered here.

Sometimes tough love is what it takes...
The absolute harsh realization that there are definite consequences to their actions is the only thing that shocks them back into a state of compliance.

Kids tend to think they're 10 feet tall and bullet proof...nothing bad can happen.
They push the envelope harder and faster, the more times they don't get burned.

As parents we try to protect them...it's our job, but sometimes blinds us to the facts.

"My kids would never do anything wrong."
...and when they do, we try to minimise the deed as well as the punishment.


That attitude doesn't do the kid or society any favors.

Sure, try talking to them, get them counseling, do whatever possible to get them back on track...but be aware, whatever you are 'seeing' as a parent is only the tip of the iceberg.

It's nearly always, drastically worse that you think it is...which means you don't have the 'time' to deal with it that you think you do.

'mamas friend's kid is stealing, doing drugs, hanging out with a bad element...quit sports and is dropping GPA in school.

Bad news, it's snowballing fast...the family situation may be the catalyst, I'm sure it's a factor.
I'm betting one of many factors.

But if this kid doesn't get a TON of help real fast, he may end up hurting someone else besides himself.

Teens need to learn now that there are consequences to their actions, that their choices impact lives, theirs AND others.

As they reach adulthood the tools available to them to screw up become both more numerous and more dangerous.

As I told my kid, you're going to do something one of these days that we can't help you with...he did.

Wasn't horribly life altering, but talking to him on the intercom through the glass most likely save his life...time will tell.

Being a parent is tough, we all love our kids, but that love can sometimes be enabling in a negative manner.

It's difficult from the inside, to see when a situation is at a crisis stage, but when a parent finally does, they need to act immediately and decisively.

Sometimes the only answer is to let the kid carry his own water, to pay the piper... better they learn that now rather than later.

~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

[Rdutch 0]

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Ive sold my piss to my brother for years.

So you are your brother's enabler. For money.

Thanks for trying to point that out. My brother is 39 years old, Im hardly an enabler, more of a keep his ass out of being unemployed and me having to pay to feed him. I make him pay because I think he is stupid for it all. But if he wants to smoke pot I actually dont give a damn. I dont smoke because I value my job. But I dont agree with companies randomly piss testing you. Unless you are using on the job, or it effects work performance. What you do at home is your own buisiness.

Ray
Small and fast what every girl dreams of!

[airdvr 197]

Sorry, the problem here is Mom & Dad not being able to talk with one another. I know, I lived it. Fortunately so far our kids are doing OK. Took me a long time to get to the point where we could talk about raising the kids.

The parents have to drop their BS and present a united front to the kid. He's doing this for attention...postiive or negative. Maybe once he sees that Mom & Dad aren't going to put up with this, and they're united in their positions he'll figure it's not working.

Do the random drug tests and have severe consequences both parents agree to.

Please don't dent the planet.

Destinations by Roxanne

[virgin-burner 1]

good mate of mine, significantly older than that boy, is just spending his last couple of days in africa. 1 1/2 year stay at a farm where there's nothing within the next 100miles, except a couple of elephants, bushmen, and if you're unlucky, a pack of lions..

he's basically a good guy, but oh boy, the time before he went away.. he didnt only charge 25k on his mothers CC, he sold his companies car, laptop, mobile phone.. you name it!

tried to take care of him, but no-fucking-way you could turn that guy around.. it was somehow funny to watch him get so fucked up. who would think of selling a car that is not yours in the first place..

sending him off to the bushes hasnt given him an opportunity to do shit, but doing a practica in a city did. long time, extreme reactions, still doesnt help!

“Some may never live, but the crazy never die.”
-Hunter S. Thompson
"No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try."
-Yoda

[Andy9o8 0]

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Ive sold my piss to my brother for years.

So you are your brother's enabler. For money.

Thanks for trying to point that out. My brother is 39 years old, Im hardly an enabler, more of a keep his ass out of being unemployed and me having to pay to feed him. I make him pay because I think he is stupid for it all. But if he wants to smoke pot I actually dont give a damn. I dont smoke because I value my job. But I dont agree with companies randomly piss testing you. Unless you are using on the job, or it effects work performance. What you do at home is your own buisiness.

Oh, I see. In other words, you are your brother's enabler. For money. Got it.

OK, now without the flippancy: I really think you need to re-evaluate, because you're not justifying, you're rationalizing. It's part of the "cycle of enablement": Enablers often rationalize their enablement by telling others, and themselves, that they're really just making their own lives easier by taking the path of least resistance. Oh, and you're making him pay because your instinct already whispers in your ear that you're being an enabler, so making him pay is your way of conning yourself into thinking you're not.

I know you love your brother. But in the long run, saving a 39 year-old adult from the consequences of not having the good sense to avoid stupidly unemploying himself does him no good - he'll rely on dependency for the rest of his life, until some day, his enablers are gone. Then what will become of him?

[airtwardo 6]

- he'll rely on dependency for the rest of his life, until some day, his enablers are gone. Then what will become of him?

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Governor of Arkansas then ~P O T U S ?...

~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

[Shotgun 1]

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Sounds like the kid and the mom need counseling. This is too big for her to handle on her own. It sounds like the drug use is a symptom, not the problem itself.

This is the best advice in this thread (IMHO). Getting counseling now - for the underlying problem - may give him an opportunity to start his adult life in a better direction than the way he is going now. And I agree that the drug use should be treated as a symptom and not as the problem itself. (Don't take him to a substance abuse counselor or enroll him in a drug treatment program. It sounds like general therapy - just someone he can talk openly with - would be more beneficial to him, and they can recommend a substance abuse program if they feel it's necessary.)

Also, I don't know how their divorce is being handled, but it's important that the parents act like adults themselves and not be disrespectful of one another in front of the kid. Otherwise, the kid may lose respect for both of them.

[RkyMtnHigh 0]

Sounds like you're describing codependency.

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[Airman1270 0]

Can't say he'd be worse off without pharmaceutical enhancement, but I hate to see pot being blamed for things like poor academic performance & stealing. I graduated from high school in the mid-1970's and have tasted the party, but I performed well on the job and did not get involved in cheating or stealing.

Seems like Mom's not just letting it slide, though. She's taking charge and has good friends in her life. I predict positive long-term results.

Cheers,
Jon S.

[GflyDog 0]

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The only way to know for sure is hair.

when there is no hair, they often choose to not hire, or what have you.

Finger nails work too.

[Muenkel 0]

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Sounds like the kid and the mom need counseling. This is too big for her to handle on her own. It sounds like the drug use is a symptom, not the problem itself.

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This is the best advice in this thread (IMHO). Getting counseling now - for the underlying problem - may give him an opportunity to start his adult life in a better direction than the way he is going now. And I agree that the drug use should be treated as a symptom and not as the problem itself. (Don't take him to a substance abuse counselor or enroll him in a drug treatment program. It sounds like general therapy - just someone he can talk openly with - would be more beneficial to him, and they can recommend a substance abuse program if they feel it's necessary.)

Also, I don't know how their divorce is being handled, but it's important that the parents act like adults themselves and not be disrespectful of one another in front of the kid. Otherwise, the kid may lose respect for both of them.

Absolutely!!!

A family counselor is needed immediately. First the mom needs to learn how to work with her son while his father is undermining her by doing nothing.

There should be simultaneous joint counseling (no pun intended) between the mother, son and counselor.

Both need to be done immediately as Andrea mentioned, the clock is ticking.

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Chris

[Andy9o8 0]

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Sounds like you're describing codependency.

Oh, absolutely. Each act of enabling nourishes the dependency and lack of self-reliance, which results in ongoing dysfunction and need, which results in further demands to "help me out", which results in further enabling to try to make the noise go away...and the cycle repeats.

[grannyinthesky 0]

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As I told my kid, you're going to do something one of these days that we can't help you with...he did.

Wasn't horribly life altering, but talking to him on the intercom through the glass most likely save his life...time will tell.

Been there, doing that......It's a hard thing to go through, to see your kid in those circumstances, but if that's what it takes to turn his life around, it is for the best. i definitely agree that the boy the OP is asking about is very, very likely headed down a road that is straight down hill to a life that we never want to see kids lead. That boy's mom needs to take drastic steps before the road back is terribly long and hard, or not possible at all.

"safety first... and What the hell.....
safety second, Too!!! " ~~jmy

POPS #10490

[skymama 35]

I'm bringing this back up because I've gotten quite a few concerned pm's from people (thank-you
This morning, his parents packed a bag for him and went together to check him out of school. They have a slot reserved for him at a local drug rehab center that works closely with the school system so he could still do his work and get school credits. The only catch is that he has to check himself in. No word yet on if he has agreed to that.

The father has also agreed to go to family counseling. Hopefully, things will turn around and they'll get their son back soon.

She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon

[ACMESkydiver 0]

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I'm bringing this back up because I've gotten quite a few concerned pm's from people (thank-you
This morning, his parents packed a bag for him and went together to check him out of school. They have a slot reserved for him at a local drug rehab center that works closely with the school system so he could still do his work and get school credits. The only catch is that he has to check himself in. No word yet on if he has agreed to that.

The father has also agreed to go to family counseling. Hopefully, things will turn around and they'll get their son back soon.

I'm really glad to hear it! Hope the kid will make the right decision.

That mommy is lucky to have you as a friend, Andrea.

~Jaye
Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action.

[skymama 35]

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That mommy is lucky to have you as a friend, Andrea.

Thanks. I'm just glad she didn't tell me to mind my own business. It's hard to approach someone about something like this, you never know how they're going to respond. I finally just decided that trying to help him was worth risking our friendship. I think I probably just said out loud the kind of things she was already thinking about, she just needed a little nudge.

She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon

[airtwardo 6]

I think I probably just said out loud the kind of things she was already thinking about, she just needed a little nudge.

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Sometimes that's all it takes..a parent often wonders if it's as bad as 'they' think it is...when a friend confirms the need for action, it gets addressed.

Thankfully the parents are addressing the problem aggressively,
that shows the kids it IS a serious concern and hopefully he gets the help he needs.

Good on you skymama!

~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

[psychoswooper 2]

Ive sold my piss to my brother for years.


Damn. I hope he doesn't need a kidney or anything.

[floridadiver81 0]

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I have heard people say they prefer cocaine because it clears faster and they'd still be able to pass a drug test - don't know how fast it clears though.

72 hours and coke is out of your system.

"Age has absolutely nothing to do with knowledge, learning, respect, attitude, or personality." -yardhippie
"Fight the air, and the air will kick your ass!!! "-Specialkaye

[Conundrum 1]

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I'm bringing this back up because I've gotten quite a few concerned pm's from people (thank-you
This morning, his parents packed a bag for him and went together to check him out of school. They have a slot reserved for him at a local drug rehab center that works closely with the school system so he could still do his work and get school credits. The only catch is that he has to check himself in. No word yet on if he has agreed to that.

The father has also agreed to go to family counseling. Hopefully, things will turn around and they'll get their son back soon.

That is excellent news and a good move on the parents part. It's a step in the right direction.

[hoyt 0]

Cocaine can be out of your system in 24 to 36 hours where MJ will test positive for up to 6 weeks. Cocaine is not absorbed by the fat in your body where MJ is and it takes along time to get out of the fat. You have to test everyday for cocaine.

Every day is a great day, some are just a little better.

[Zenister 0]

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Cocaine can be out of your system in 24 to 36 hours where MJ will test positive for up to 6 weeks. Cocaine is not absorbed by the fat in your body where MJ is and it takes along time to get out of the fat. You have to test everyday for cocaine.

which is why random drug tests do very very little to affect the people who are at the most risk for behavioral/performance/safety/security problems.

but hey why not enact 'feel good' measures so you can post a 'drug free work place' sign that has no real meaning?

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Those who fail to learn from the past are simply Doomed.