happythoughts 0 #1 February 26, 2008 MSN advice From the MSN website. Two observations - 1. These are not my ideas. 2. Fart jokes are not on the list. Things a Man Should Never Do in the Company of a Woman By The Editors of Marie Claire (some fru-fru magazine about shoes) 1. Reveal how much your car cost. 2. Clean your gun. (Since these people are Esquire editors, they probably don't have a large Texas readership.) 3. Polish high school trophies (which you still have displayed). 4. Refer to your mother as your best friend. 5. Rap. (Oh, darn. ) 6. Check out our assistant/roommate/the baby-sitter. (I am doomed. ) 7. Question our footwear. (If a man knows enough about shoes to question a womans taste in shoes, he's gay anyway.) 8. Blow-dry your hair. 9. Tip less than 20 percent. 10. Celebrity impressions. 11. Impressions of us. (I would love to see that. A guy doing an impression of a woman just before she snapped his tibia.) 12. Forget to carry cash. 13. Flip it, flop it, swing it around, tug on it, adjust it, scratch it, or do anything that will remind us that it's just a goofy appendage and not a mystical source of pleasure and satisfaction. (Sorry. Nothing better than adjusting.) 14. Wii. 15. Boot and rally. (What is this?) 16. Scream—at the dog, at the guy who just stole your parking spot, at Bill Belichick. Because, no matter how much Belichick deserves it (cheater!), when we hear you raise your voice, we have an idea of what we're in for. 17. Talk about former exploits. Ever. 18. Use the words bitch, slut, tramp, or whore, unless referring to another man. (Is there an ex-wife exclusion for this rule? Eventually, current SOs will violate that rule.) 19. Tell us you're going to kiss us. Bottom line... Marie Claire must be published in New York or one of those Metrosexual places. So, bring cash, spend it, don't be a guy. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lindercles 0 #2 February 26, 2008 Quote 2. Fart jokes are not on the list. That's because fart jokes are funny and women know it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Butters 0 #3 February 26, 2008 That is a just list of things a man probably should never do in the company of those women ..."That looks dangerous." Leopold Stotch Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
NWFlyer 2 #4 February 26, 2008 Quote Quote 2. Fart jokes are not on the list. That's because fart jokes are funny and women know it. It's funny cuz it's true."There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 212 #5 February 26, 2008 Quote Quote 2. Fart jokes are not on the list. That's because fart jokes are funny and women know it. The good ones do.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #6 February 26, 2008 QuoteThat is a just list of things a man probably should never do in the company of those women ... Nah, I think it is just a list of the stuff that guys already know. Not that the list has an honest value, but it is used for The Deception. It is like a Guide To Lying for Single Men. Ever notice how guys talk about all the taboo subjects to their guy friends, but not women? It is because that is the stuff that men are really interested in. The list can be divided into categories. 1- Guys shouldn't talk about themselves. (trophies, accomplishments) 2- It should all be about her. Any meaningless trivia like shoes, hair, and clothing. He should not mention that other women exist (even his mother). It reads like the lyrics to the Toby Keith song I wanna talk about me. A truly funny song. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
christoofar 0 #7 February 26, 2008 Mmm, yeah. Suuure, ok whatever you say. ____________________________________________________________ I'm RICK JAMES! Fo shizzle. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Butters 0 #8 February 26, 2008 QuoteQuoteThat is a just list of things a man probably should never do in the company of those women ... Nah, I think it is just a list of the stuff that guys already know. Not that the list has an honest value, but it is used for The Deception. It is like a Guide To Lying for Single Men. Ever notice how guys talk about all the taboo subjects to their guy friends, but not women? It is because that is the stuff that men are really interested in. The list can be divided into categories. 1- Guys shouldn't talk about themselves. (trophies, accomplishments) 2- It should all be about her. Any meaningless trivia like shoes, hair, and clothing. He should not mention that other women exist (even his mother). It reads like the lyrics to the Toby Keith song I wanna talk about me. A truly funny song. So much of this is wrong ..."That looks dangerous." Leopold Stotch Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ACMESkydiver 0 #9 February 26, 2008 Well my man fails #13 regularly. He loves to shake his thang and make me choke laughing...particularly when I'm in the middle of a swig of water (he does that stupid arms raised in a 'V' in victory if said liquid is either shot out of my nose or mouth upon seeing him waggle like a fruitcake). He also loves to do that when I'm on the phone with my mother. "Say 'Hi' to mom for me, honey!" [wiggle-waggle] "KNOCK IT OFF!!! Wha..? Oh no, sorry mom...nothing. Joe says 'Hi'." Men. ~Jaye Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lindercles 0 #10 February 26, 2008 Quote Well my man fails #13 regularly. He loves to shake his thang and make me choke Was there more? I quit reading after that. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ACMESkydiver 0 #11 February 26, 2008 Quote Quote Well my man fails #13 regularly. He loves to shake his thang and make me choke Was there more? I quit reading after that. Ummm....I'm s'posed to take the 5th I think, being a perfect lil' Catholic girl and a'thing. ~Jaye Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #12 February 27, 2008 Comedienne Rita Rudner says that men are like bears with furniture. Is that a compliment? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
GQ_jumper 4 #13 February 27, 2008 I've seen her standup acts and she kind of comes off like she isn't the sharpest tool in the shed. I'm just sayinHistory does not long entrust the care of freedom to the weak or the timid. --Dwight D. Eisenhower Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sunshine 2 #14 February 27, 2008 I think fart jokes are funny. A man cleaning a gun is just plain sexy. I would prolly be checking out his assitant/baby sitter too. Impressions are funny. I like playing Wii. ___________________________________________ meow I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
