Ohio man facing charges for having sex with a picnic table

[1969912 0]

Geeez. WTF?
-----

(BELLEVUE, OH) -- Police say a man in Bellevue, Ohio was caught on tape having sex with a picnic table.

"The first video we had, he was completely nude. He would use the hole from the umbrella and have sex with the table,"

http://www.fox19.com/Global/story.asp?S=8083860&nav=menu63_2

"Once we got to the point where twenty/something's needed a place on the corner that changed the oil in their cars we were doomed . . ."
-NickDG

[longtall 0]

Even the crack of dawn isnt safe from some morons.

" 90 right, five miles then cut."---Pukin Buzzards

[JustChuteMeNow 0]

I guess the police think he raped the picnic table because he is being charged with a felony picnic table assault versu a misdeamenor charge.

Think of how stupid the average person is and realize that statistically half of them are stupider than that.

[JohnnyD 0]

If you saw the way that picnic table was looking at him.........
Had it coming.

[DHolland 0]

thanks for the good laugh

[1969912 0]

Quote

If you saw the way that picnic table was looking at him.........
Had it coming.

And it was wearing that skimpy tablecloth......

"Once we got to the point where twenty/something's needed a place on the corner that changed the oil in their cars we were doomed . . ."
-NickDG

[JohnnyD 0]

Quote

Quote

If you saw the way that picnic table was looking at him.........
Had it coming.

And it was wearing that skimpy tablecloth......

Good LAWD did you see the benches on that bitch?
Tried to give her the sweet talk and got the silent treatment.
Want to play it like that huh?
Here comes daddy....

[Samurai136 0]

Kind of like this Kiwi who called the police and claimed he was being assaulted by a wombat.

http://afp.google.com/article/ALeqM5haQ6m9WGjn1n6rlkukC8srxeTmvA

Is this really someone you'd want doing community service work?

"Buttons aren't toys." - Trillian
Ken

[lippy 771]

So he used a metal picnic table!!! All these years I've been using wooden ones and picking splinters out afterwards.

I got nuthin

[turtlespeed 212]

Was I the only one here that immediately thought - ANDYCOPELAND! ???

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[ACMESkydiver 0]

That guy's wife had to be one ugly bitch.


[guy mutters to self]
"...married to that donkey-faced hose whore. What the hell do I do? 'Take out the trash, Art. Clean the garage, Art. Bring home some milk, Art. Stop playing with yourself, Art.' If I have to wake up next to that Pilsbury-Dough-boy's-mama-looking canker sore cranky wench one more morning I'll...

Hmm.

Table's round.

Table doesn't bitch.

Table likes it rough...naughty, naughty table! ~

'That's right, table...you're gonna get it! You're gonna get it good, table. Come to papa.'

"Art!"

~Jaye
Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action.

[1969912 0]

Quote

"...married to that donkey-faced hose whore. What the hell do I do? 'Take out the trash, Art. Clean the garage, Art. Bring home some milk, Art. Stop playing with yourself, Art.' If I have to wake up next to that Pilsbury-Dough-boy's-mama-looking canker sore cranky wench one more morning I'll......

I bet she was gettin' some from the umbrella pole while he was in jail. Revenge is sweeeet.

"Once we got to the point where twenty/something's needed a place on the corner that changed the oil in their cars we were doomed . . ."
-NickDG

[happythoughts 0]

Your dog doesn't hump your leg because of your sensitive and artistic nature either.

[stitch 0]

Quote

Was I the only one here that immediately thought - ANDYCOPELAND! ???

Actually I was thinking "Scott", then I remembered he has a girlfriend now.

"No cookies for you"- GFD
"I don't think I like the sound of that" ~ MB65
Don't be a "Racer Hater"

[shropshire 0]

Dating is so difficult these days... it's just no picnic anymore

(.)Y(.)
Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome

[ACMESkydiver 0]

Quote

Dating is so difficult these days... it's just no picnic anymore

Ba-dum-dum.

~Jaye
Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action.

[shropshire 0]

[takes a bow]

(.)Y(.)
Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome

[sunshine 2]

Quote

Ba-dum-dum.

I always thought it was 'Ba-dum-bum'. Maybe you should post a poll in a new thread.

___________________________________________
meow

I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug!

[divnswoop 0]

I always knew people from Ohio were FREAKS!!!

[Halfpastniner 0]

Quote

I always knew people from Ohio were FREAKS!!!

Way to go on escaping

BASE 1384

[prepheckt 0]

Quote

If you saw the way that picnic table was looking at him.........
Had it coming.

\

I bet his pickup line was this "We can do this the easy way or the hard way."

"Dancing Argentine Tango is like doing calculus with your feet."
-9 toes