Why is it that kids

[-Scatter- 0]

Bullies bully for status. No one beats their wife for status. At least not in any social circles I hang out in.

[SkydiveStMarys 0]

Bobbi

A miracle is not defined by an event. A miracle is defined by gratitude.

[SkydiveStMarys 0]

Wow!! You give up waaay too easily. LOL





Bobbi

A miracle is not defined by an event. A miracle is defined by gratitude.

[futuredivot 0]

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seems that the dynamics to me are similar.

So, you're still wrong. The kid that bullied me in grade school grew up to be a fine gentleman that I'm proud to call a friend. We laugh about when I had enough and laid him out. A school yard power play is not like an abusive relationship. Raising kids that expect someone to swoop in and solve their problems will probably make them become less productive members of society.
And, if a bully is too big to take straight up, it's perfectly ok to sneak up behind him with a sap.

You are only as strong as the prey you devour

[Squeak 17]

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seems that the dynamics to me are similar.

So, you're still wrong. The kid that bullied me in grade school grew up to be a fine gentleman that I'm proud to call a friend. We laugh about when I had enough and laid him out. A school yard power play is not like an abusive relationship. Raising kids that expect someone to swoop in and solve their problems will probably make them become less productive members of society.
And, if a bully is too big to take straight up, it's perfectly ok to sneak up behind him with a sap.

No wonder your country is so fucked up

You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky)
My Life ROCKS!
How's yours doing?

[PLFXpert 0]

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At a sleepover birthday party a few years back, one of my son's guests brought a video game for the late night entertainment...the one where you gain points by stealing cars and beating up hookers etc.

Yup. I did quantitative analysis on that game. Counted how many times "this" and "that" occurred.

But, not all role models are "media-hyped bad boys". I've caught an episode of Hannah Montana out of curiosity.

It's all relative--I was walking a different way out of my high school back in the day and saw a fight--tons of people around just walking by. You'd think there'd be a crowd, but either it was the norm or no-one cared. I just stopped and yelled, "Hey!"

And before I knew it, I'd entered the battle-ring.

But, they stopped. I don't remember what else I said, but I'm certain I gave a speech.

And days later the kid that was completely whipping the other kid's ass said something to me along the lines of "Nice! You're cool."--or whatever.

All it takes, sometimes--imo--is someone to give a shit.

Paint me in a corner, but my color comes back.

[SkydiveStMarys 0]

"Raising kids that expect someone to swoop in and solve their problems will probably make them become less productive members of society."

So are you saying that I am swooping in and taking care of this for him?? When I hear that my kids head has been SLAMMED up against the bus window TWICE for no apparent reason, that the kid was doing it for fun and then I see my kids arm bruised from his shoulder TO his elbow, I'm supposed to turn a blind eye to this behavior?? Sorry but this has gone from just a school yard fight to both kids being charged with battery and the school PRESSED charges not me. The school thought this was significant enough to bring the law in, we agreed AND we were relieved. This isn't just a punch in the stomach, he could have been seriously hurt. I pay taxes for my kids to ride the bus and get to and from school SAFELY. Its hard enough growing up and figuring out what life is all about when you are a kid, you don't need bodily harm coming at you in the form of a freaking bully.

Bobbi

A miracle is not defined by an event. A miracle is defined by gratitude.

[lisamariewillbe 1]

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So, you're still wrong. The kid that bullied me in grade school grew up to be a fine gentleman that I'm proud to call a friend

So because you know of a bully who grew up to be a good guy means that there is no relationship between an adult bully and a child bully?

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A school yard power play is not like an abusive relationship

Okay

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Raising kids that expect someone to swoop in and solve their problems will probably make them become less productive members of society.

Did you really just say that? Parents dont solve all a childs problems, not the ones I know, but when a child is being beat up on a regular basis a parent stepping in is whats needed. Do you realize what happens these days? You see what Bobbis son went through. Kids these days have access to bully harder and more deadly. A parent who negates the childs needs for protection to me is a horrible one.

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And, if a bully is too big to take straight up, it's perfectly ok to sneak up behind him with a sap.

Wow, that mindset is what is wrong with much of our society, if you cant face something head on and fix the problem , be sneaky and do it on the sly by any means

Sudsy Fist: i don't think i'd ever say this
Sudsy Fist: but you're looking damn sudsydoable in this

[Baksteen 84]

I haven't read the middle portion of the thread, but I find it rather pathetic that the school is sueing children. Whatever happened to the molding and guiding stuff that is supposed to take place?

I'm not saying that a bully should be allowed to do as he pleases, but legal repercussions?

"That formation-stuff in freefall is just fun and games but with an open parachute it's starting to sound like, you know, an extreme sport."
~mom

[BillyVance 34]

I got to watch a potential bully in the making the other day at the playground. My little girl and her playmate who's 3 months younger, were playing together. Her mom and I took them over to the swinging spring-based rides. Just as soon as my little girl climbed into the car ride, this 5 or 6 year old boy climbed up on the hood of it and sat there. We were like "get outta here!" in our minds, but were wondering where his mom was (not easily seen). She told him to get off the hood. He wouldn't. I asked him where his mom was, he rose a little bit and looked off in one direction. So did we, and there she was off in the distance looking kind of bored. Sometimes you have to be careful here. One wrong move and the kid's going to scream bloody murder. I got my girl out of the car and asked her if she'd like to play over there. Well the boy ran over there as if to get there first and claim it his territory. We just ignored him. But I have to admit at one moment I wanted to kick the shit out of him. I was helping my girl climb a ladder that was part of an elaborate maze. While she was on the 2nd rung, that boy just promptly started climbing that ladder and cut her off, and also wouldn't get out of the way at the top of a slide.

I'd call him a prick, but his mom is to blame... sad, actually. There were only 5 kids in the whole park.

I should get my girl into Kung Fu classes... So she can go yippie ki yi on any little prick that messes with her.

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[turtlespeed 212]

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And, if a bully is too big to take straight up, it's perfectly ok to sneak up behind him with a sap.

Wow, that mindset is what is wrong with much of our society, if you cant face something head on and fix the problem , be sneaky and do it on the sly by any means

Some people just really deserve that though.

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[SkydiveStMarys 0]

The school isn't sueing the kids, they have pressed charges against them. Different. The school is doing something about the child's behavior because obviously the parents won't. bringing in the law is giving the help to these kids that the parents aren't providing.

Bobbi

A miracle is not defined by an event. A miracle is defined by gratitude.

[happythoughts 0]

People talk about unrealistic solutions, but forget that social and structurally, school is more like jail than real adult life.

In real adult life, if you go to a job and someone hits someone, you call the police and they go to jail.
(Two jobs ago, a guy was sent home and had to do an 2-day anger management class for yelling in a meeting. Banks )

In jail, if you report another inmate, you merely get to suffer more at a later date. You are still required to show up at the same confined place and be around the same people, who rarely learn.

The law is the best resolution, if only for the reason that it strengthens your position if violence does become a solution. You have documented that you have tried to get the system to control the person and the situation.

That said, I would never privately tell the kid that I know where he lives, that he walks around at night with no witnesses, and that the police don't care what happens to him.

[SkydiveStMarys 0]

Bobbi

A miracle is not defined by an event. A miracle is defined by gratitude.

[BillyVance 34]

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That said, I would never privately tell the kid that I know where he lives, that he walks around at night with no witnesses, and that the police don't care what happens to him.

It would be a perfect world if what that lady sitting in the sailboat with Tommy Boy yelled at the kids on the shore that she knew where they lived and that she was gonna do so and so to them or whatever, would work for real...

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[futuredivot 0]

Short on time-so I'll start in order and come back later

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there is no relationship between an adult bully and a child bully?

At the very least, having his energy redirected by a sock full of quarters seemed to break the cycle

You are only as strong as the prey you devour

[johnboy 0]

It is the opinion of this poster that as society continues to take its focus off the family as its single most important unit or building block, things will only continue to fall apart. Nothing bothers me more than seeing kids hurt, and no doubt the kids you are dealing with are hurting severely for lack of that family support. It is SO the parents' responsibility to teach their offspring the importance of responsibility for themselves and how to fit into society, and for kids to not have that guidance makes it almost impossible for them to figure it out. I'm not saying you should not press charges, because I absolutely stand with you on that, but I believe you are doing the most compassionate thing you can for those boys. Until they grow up and can understand that there isn't a person on this planet who is a product of their environment, but rather a reaction to it, there is little else that can be done for them.

That being said, my nine year old daughter can punch like there is no tomorrow. Not long ago, one of the girls in her class threatened her on the playground. My daughter got in the girl's face and told her, "I don't want to fight you, but if that's what I have to do, I'm going to make you cry." Conflict over. She has yet to get herself in a fight (except with her five year old sister about important things like who's turn is it for the Play-dough, even then it never gets physical). I'm proud of that kid!

I'm with you on this Bobbi. Hang tough and it sounds to me like you're doing fine raising your son!

[SkydiveStMarys 0]

Why thank you.

Bobbi

A miracle is not defined by an event. A miracle is defined by gratitude.

[SkydiveStMarys 0]

Went to court today. Waited 4 hours to go before a judge. F*cking craziness! Anyway, both kids denied the charges so there is a court hearing set for June 4th. My son will have to testify and it will be up to the assistant DA to prove that these kids did it, since we aren't pressing the charges but the school system is. Makes me nervous.

Lost wages and will lose wages on that day too. Now its got to turn into a big ugly mess.


Bobbi

A miracle is not defined by an event. A miracle is defined by gratitude.

[BillyVance 34]

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And, if a bully is too big to take straight up, it's perfectly ok to sneak up behind him with a sap.

No wonder your country is so fucked up

Well, you take your revenge anyhow you can get it. Most of the time it's wrong. One extreme case is what happened to a college roommate of mine when he was in high school. He was an ugly runt with a god-awful voice that only a mother could love. But boy he was really smart with the books. Even then, he didn't exactly grow up like a nerd. Yeah, he was a frequent target of bullies. He brushed most of them off, except one. This one was really mean. Mind you, they were in a catholic high school. One classroom they were in had Jesus Christ with a thorned crown that you could take off. The teacher hadn't yet arrived or stepped out, I don't remember everything he told me, but.... the bully took the crown off and jammed it on my friend's head, making him bleed and jeered him just like the Romans did to the real Man. He was completely humiliated. And he never forgot nor forgave the bully. Three years later one night he was out for a drive and happened upon the bully walking down the street. He stopped, parked the car behind the bully, quietly got out and opened the trunk, pulled out a 5 foot length of heavy chain, and unbelievably enough, was able to sneak up behind the bully and lay him out with one swing. He added 3 or 4 more swings across the bully's prone body for good measure and left. The bully never knew what or who hit him, and spent 2 weeks in ICU.

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban

[lisamariewillbe 1]

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Well, you take your revenge anyhow you can get it

Why does one have to take revenge? Why cant they just be the bigger person and move on with their life?

The only revenge Ive ever given to those who screwed me was knowing that I didnt lower myself to their level and instead moved on and enjoy my life. Its much better then being obsessed like the bully and constently trying to have the upper hand in an endless battle, which apperently some take years to learn.

Good luck Bobbi, let us know how it goes.

Sudsy Fist: i don't think i'd ever say this
Sudsy Fist: but you're looking damn sudsydoable in this

[SkydiveStMarys 0]

Well we head to court tomorrow. All the kids involved or who had witnessed the altercations have been issued a subpoena. This should be interesting.........the rumor around the block is that we as a family are taking these two boys to court, but the reality is that the school system has had enough and this incident with my son was the straw that broke the camels back.



Bobbi

A miracle is not defined by an event. A miracle is defined by gratitude.

[downwardspiral 0]

I'm really late to this thread but just wanted to add something to all those would be parents.

When I was really young my dad was taking karate and taught me how to block punches just like he had learned. He spent time with me everyday practicing until I got it right. This turned out to be the best thing he ever taught me because it became second nature and really showed when some kid tried to test me by shoving me or throwing his fists at my face. I would just brush their shoves and punches aside and stand there waiting for the next one. Eventually they would stand back and try to coerce me into throwing a punch but I just stood there prepared to defend my self until a teacher came along and broke it up.

Its never too late to get your kids into a martial arts class parents.

www.FourWheelerHB.com

[Baksteen 84]

Forgive me, but I don't know the difference between sueing and pressing charges.

As to bad parenting, my very own primary school bully fell off the swing once on a school trip, hitting the ground head first.
Every adult in the vicinity jumped up but his mom merely looked round and said:
"He's crying so it can't be serious."

Small wonder that kid turned out the way he did .

@Billy:
After this same kid made my life completely miserable troughout primary and secondary school I graduated from college, found a job, made friends etc.
When i was seventeen I publicly humiliated him when he tried to talk to me - he was acting all friendly and popular and with a smile put his right hand on my shoulder. I didn't respond, but merely turned my head to stare at his hand. I felt him tense and hesitantly remove it while going beet red. I moved my head again to look in front of me and completely ignored him while all his friends were laughing at him.

Now it's ten years later and he was recently in the newspaper for stealing the clothes people had collected for charity, in order to sell them on as second hand. In addition, he's been turned out of his house and is now living with his loving mother. All his friends have abandoned him, since they have matured and he hasn't. Seems the tables are turned.

Sweet 'revenge' indeed. Way sweeter than any violence could have been.

"That formation-stuff in freefall is just fun and games but with an open parachute it's starting to sound like, you know, an extreme sport."
~mom

[Squeak 17]

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Now it's ten years later and he was recently in the newspaper for stealing the clothes people had collected for charity, in order to sell them on as second hand. In addition, he's been turned out of his house and is now living with his loving mother. All his friends have abandoned him, since they have matured and he hasn't. Seems the tables are turned.

Sweet 'revenge' indeed. Way sweeter than any violence could have been.

It's sad that you seem to take satisfaction in the misery of others

You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky)
My Life ROCKS!
How's yours doing?