Slappie 9 #1 June 22, 2008 We've got a problem; I've got a turtle infestation. We need to know how best to get rid of turtles. This one is kind of big and hairy and lacking a hard shell. It snores really loud and drinks all your beer and the good whiskey! So peeps, I know some of you've had this same infestation. How did you get rid of it? I told it we were out of beer and get the fuck out of my liquor cabinet! Didn't work, he rolled over on the couch and started snoring. We're in trouble here, next thing you know he'll won't yo use my RESTROOM!! Ugh I might have to try reaching from the bible or talk about whuffo stuff. "Find out just what any people will quietly submit to and you have found out the exact measure of injustice and wrong which will be imposed upon them." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
futuredivot 0 #2 June 22, 2008 You know that you're going to have to burn the couch when it leaves, don't you?You are only as strong as the prey you devour Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Slappie 9 #3 June 22, 2008 Quote You know that you're going to have to burn the couch when it leaves, don't you? I thought so... damn the gf is going to be pissed. She bought the sectional about 2 years ago. "Find out just what any people will quietly submit to and you have found out the exact measure of injustice and wrong which will be imposed upon them." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
madhatter 0 #4 June 22, 2008 I've heard they LOVE yard work... Get out the lawnmower & invite him to play with it. At least it will get him off the couch A VERY MERRY UNBIRTHDAY TO YOU!!! D.S # 125 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Slappie 9 #5 June 22, 2008 Quote I've heard they LOVE yard work... Get out the lawnmower & invite him to play with it. At least it will get him off the couch DAMN! I live in a townhouse! No yard work to do. Hey Divot, Turtle says you snore like a girl! He says that I snore louder then you. "Find out just what any people will quietly submit to and you have found out the exact measure of injustice and wrong which will be imposed upon them." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
madhatter 0 #6 June 22, 2008 According to this you should be able to sort it out on your own: Man is by far the turtle’s greatest predator. Many individuals are shot while basking, crushed by cars, sacrificed for research and beheaded after being hooked by fishermen. Else you can use the attached pic, or as a last resort use this recipe A VERY MERRY UNBIRTHDAY TO YOU!!! D.S # 125 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
virgin-burner 1 #7 June 22, 2008 now that is some funny shit right there!! from the recipe: Quote Any old soup recipe will work for (snapping) turtle soup. The main problem with turtle soup is cleaning the turtle. You have to be certain that every last speck of fat is removed from the meat before cooking. This is not too difficult because the fat is between the skin and the flesh. To butcher a turtle you start by chopping off the turtle's head. Be careful because the head will still bite even after it is removed from the body and the body will still crawl away after the head is removed. Turtles don't die right away. When the body stops trying to crawl away, dip it in boiling water and scrape off the exterior layer of skin, including the shell. The result will be a bright white carcus, compared to the muddy brown-green you started with. turtle is fat and muddy brown-green. “Some may never live, but the crazy never die.” -Hunter S. Thompson "No. Try not. Do... or do not. There is no try." -Yoda Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
futuredivot 0 #8 June 22, 2008 I believe that. I don't snore. Fact: Turtle has woken me up with his snoring. Fact: I have never woken myself up by snoring. Therefore, i don't snoreAnd forget the yardwork-he's been going over to my house when I'm on the road to do my yard work and I haven't seen anything accomplished yet You are only as strong as the prey you devour Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bolas 5 #9 June 22, 2008 Quote I believe that. I don't snore. Fact: Turtle has woken me up with his snoring. Fact: I have never woken myself up by snoring. Therefore, i don't snoreAnd forget the yardwork-he's been going over to my house when I'm on the road to do my yard work and I haven't seen anything accomplished yet I think he was concentrating on the bush... Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 212 #10 June 24, 2008 Quote Quote I believe that. I don't snore. Fact: Turtle has woken me up with his snoring. Fact: I have never woken myself up by snoring. Therefore, i don't snoreAnd forget the yardwork-he's been going over to my house when I'm on the road to do my yard work and I haven't seen anything accomplished yet I think he was concentrating on the bush... . . . and the mounds.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
StreetScooby 5 #11 June 24, 2008 I'd imagine if you had 2 or 3 kids running around screaming all day the problem would solve itself. Would you like to rent some for a few days? We are all engines of karma Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
