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freeflymickey

Catching your significant other fucking around on you....

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So....My girlfriend and I are talking about what happens when someone catches their boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife or whatever cheating on them.....I told her if I walked in on some dude banging her I would not be pissed at him, I would only be pissed at her. And yes, in this scenario the guy does know she is in a committed relationship.

My reasoning behind this is that "he" did not cheat on me, she did. I explained to her that he was just taking advantage of an opportunity and therefore I have no reason to be pissed at him.

She thinks this is fucking crazy. I told her the same applies if the role was reversed. If she caught me banging some chick she has no reason to be pissed at her, only me.

Who would you be pissed at in this scenario?

Am I as fucked up in the head as she thinks I am or does this actually make sense?

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I wouldn't kill anyone (Yeah, I know that's not your point) but I would only be angry with my wife-assuming the guy was a stranger. If the guy was a friend of mine, I'd be angry with both. If the guy was a gal, I'd buy a better camera.
You are only as strong as the prey you devour

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I wouldn't kill anyone (Yeah, I know that's not your point) but I would only be angry with my wife-assuming the guy was a stranger. If the guy was a friend of mine, I'd be angry with both.



What he said, except for the spouse part and reverse the genders. :D
"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke

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I noticed that you stopped quoting before the camera comment too. Oh, I forgot-politicians hate cameras in certain situations.



The camera part didn't interest me as much, I guess. That whole gender reversal thing. And being accused of being a politician. :P

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By the way, haven't we met?



Yes, I believe it was at Flying Fish in Seattle. :)
"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke

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I wouldn't kill anyone (Yeah, I know that's not your point) but I would only be angry with my wife-assuming the guy was a stranger. If the guy was a friend of mine, I'd be angry with both.



What he said, except for the spouse part and reverse the genders. :D


What she said, except for the spouse part. :P

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As a victim of this very scenario I have to say there's always blame on both sides. Why is your SO cheating on you? What isn't she getting from the relationship that she needs?
Please don't dent the planet.

Destinations by Roxanne

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As a victim of this very scenario I have to say there's always blame on both sides. Why is your SO cheating on you? What isn't she getting from the relationship that she needs?



Most of the time, the one the SO is cheating with doesn't care.

Who knows why they do it. Not many people get in their face and ask.
Be yourself!
MooOOooOoo

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As a victim of this very scenario I have to say there's always blame on both sides. Why is your SO cheating on you? What isn't she getting from the relationship that she needs?



Who cares what the reason for cheating is? You don't fix problems in your relationship by cheating. You fix problems in your relationship by working on the problems in your relationship or getting out of the relationship. Cheating because you're "not getting what you need out of the relationship" is an immature way of dealing with a problem. :|
"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke

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I see all of your options involve killing.:S
What about options for us sane people who would just get on with our lives, instead of committing an act of irrational jealousy, thereby ruining our own lives???:S

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

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I see all of your options involve killing.:S
What about options for us sane people who would just get on with our lives, instead of committing an act of irrational jealousy, thereby ruining our own lives???:S



Wow. Some people take shit so literally around here. Think about it, I know it is the internet and all but if you put just a little bit of thought into I am sure you can get the point.

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NONE of the above options.
1) !st we have to ask ourselves in this situation, what did I do or fail to do that helped lead to the 'cheating'. Either way ->
We don't own someone else, their body, or the right to make decisions for them. And we certainly don't have the right, to take their life, because we got our heart broken. :|

It's pretty pathetic when you have to TELL people you're fucking cool Skymama «narrative»This thread will lock in 3..2.. What a load of narrow-minded Xenophobic Bullshit!-squeak

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As a victim of this very scenario I have to say there's always blame on both sides. Why is your SO cheating on you? What isn't she getting from the relationship that she needs?



Who cares what the reason for cheating is? You don't fix problems in your relationship by cheating. You fix problems in your relationship by working on the problems in your relationship or getting out of the relationship. Cheating because you're "not getting what you need out of the relationship" is an immature way of dealing with a problem. :|


I agree. It's not an excuse, and it's inexcusable. Nevertheless it takes 2 to tango and it happens all the time.

My only options to the poll are killing someone. Trust me, I used to fantasize about it. Actually, she married the jerk she was boffing so my fantasy actually went towards killing him so she would have to live with the pain. Is that so wrong?

BTW...can I give you my ex-wife's number so you can explain your POV to her? ;)
Please don't dent the planet.

Destinations by Roxanne

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NONE of the above options.
1) !st we have to ask ourselves in this situation, what did I do or fail to do that helped lead to the 'cheating'.



Cool! I can cheat on my SO and it's their fault for what they did or didn't do!B|B|

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NONE of the above options.
1) !st we have to ask ourselves in this situation, what did I do or fail to do that helped lead to the 'cheating'.



Cool! I can cheat on my SO and it's their fault for what they did or didn't do!B|B|

That's not what Im saying, in fact I agree with NWFlyer's point above completely. I'm not saying it's ok to cheat, but rather, my point was.
It does NOT condone Violence under ANY circumstances.
It is much better to think through all possible problems that lead to this from BOTH sides.
And it may very well help to be the one toforce 'open the gates of communication' instead.
Any one need a diagram? :S:S
It's pretty pathetic when you have to TELL people you're fucking cool Skymama «narrative»This thread will lock in 3..2.. What a load of narrow-minded Xenophobic Bullshit!-squeak

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And I didn't say you do condone cheating. But the sentence I quoted basically says, if my SO cheated on me, I have to take responsibility for causing it.

Regardless of the problems in the relationship, I believe people have control over their own actions. If a relationship is failing, of course there's fault on both sides. How each person behaves is within their own power.:)

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, if my SO cheated on me, I have to take responsibility for causing it.

Never said that, simply that from MY perspective, I believe if I truly love someone, I'd try to see things from their point of view before I just toss the whole relationship out the window, over one or both of us making a mistake, failing to communicate openly at all times, and really working at the relationship.
That's why they call it 'working it out' there's supposed to be a little effort & understanding involved.
Even the best of us make mistakes, we later regret. What really important is not repeating those mistakes & regrets through out our lives. Learning from mistakes & being forgiving of others mistakes, is a big part of what makes life & love 'work out'.:)
It's pretty pathetic when you have to TELL people you're fucking cool Skymama «narrative»This thread will lock in 3..2.. What a load of narrow-minded Xenophobic Bullshit!-squeak

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So....My girlfriend and I are talking about what happens when someone catches their boyfriend, girlfriend, husband, wife or whatever cheating on them.....I told her if I walked in on some dude banging her I would not be pissed at him, I would only be pissed at her. And yes, in this scenario the guy does know she is in a committed relationship.

My reasoning behind this is that "he" did not cheat on me, she did. I explained to her that he was just taking advantage of an opportunity and therefore I have no reason to be pissed at him.

She thinks this is fucking crazy. I told her the same applies if the role was reversed. If she caught me banging some chick she has no reason to be pissed at her, only me.

Who would you be pissed at in this scenario?

Am I as fucked up in the head as she thinks I am or does this actually make sense?



Well said, i agree 1000000%
So i just broke up with this woman who wasn't even my girlfriend!

Hellfish #782, POPS #10664

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I wouldn't kill anyone (Yeah, I know that's not your point) but I would only be angry with my wife-assuming the guy was a stranger. If the guy was a friend of mine, I'd be angry with both. If the guy was a gal, I'd buy a better camera.



What he said except the spouse part and the camera thing...cheating is cheating regardless of the gender of the third party. (Trysts involving a hot chick as a third and a camera should be pre-arranged and the "rules" agreed upon ;))

Blues,
Dave
"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!"
(drink Mountain Dew)

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I'd be pissed at them both. The girl a little more, but the guy I'd be really pissed off at as well, in the case he knew that she was in a relationship.

I know we're all mammals here, but our level of thought and emotion should not allow us to act on basic animalistic instincts.

Personally, if I ever met a girl who I knew was in a relationship, and even if it would be super easy to sleep with her, I still wouldn't do it. I like to consider myself better than some basic urges.
Skydiving: You either learn from other's mistakes, or they'll learn from yours.

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