"late for work"

[Redline165 0]

While she was 'flying' down the road yesterday, a woman passed over a bridge only to find a cop with a radar gun on the other side lying in wait.

The cop pulled her over, walked up to the car, with that classic patronizing smirk we all know and love, asked, 'What's your hurry?'


To which she replied, 'I'm late for work.'

'Oh yeah,' said the cop, 'what do you do?'

I'm a rectum stretcher,' she responded.

The cop stammered, 'A what? A rectum stretcher?

And just what does a rectum stretcher do?'

'Well,' she said, 'I start by inserting one finger, then work my way up to two fingers, then three, then four, then with my whole hand in. I work from side to side until I can get both hands in, and then I slowly but surely stretch it, until it's about 6 feet wide.'

'And just what the hell do you do with a 6 foot asshole?' he asked.
















'You give him a radar gun and park his ass behind a bridge...'

Traffic Ticket - $95.00
Court Costs - $45.00
Look on the Cop's Face...............PRICELESS

[danica318 0]

Aw, that's cute! I wish I had the courage to say something like that to the asshole that pulled me over last year. And I was on my way to the hospital too! My friend (who was in the car) has a diabetic mother who passed out and was going into shock.


The asshole wrote me a $200 ticket anyways. Grrr...

[BillyVance 34]

I've seen this joke before except it was a guy that got pulled over. Still funny.

"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban