Redline165 0 #1 August 21, 2008 Boy anticipates sex with girlfriend Since this is such a big event, the girl announces to her boyfriend that after dinner, she would like to go out and make love for the first time. Well, the boy is ecstatic, but he has never had sex before, so he takes a trip to the pharmacist to get some condoms. The pharmacist helps the boy for about an hour. He tells the boy everything there is to know about condoms and sex. At the register, the pharmacist asks the boy how many condoms he'd like to buy, a 3-pack, 10-pack, or family pack. The boy insists on the family pack because he thinks he will be rather busy, it being his first time and all. That night, the boy shows up at the girl's parents house and meets his girlfriend at the door. "Oh, I'm so excited for you to meet my parents, come on in!" The boy goes inside and is taken to the dinner table where the girl's parents are seated. The boy quickly offers to say grace and bows his head. A minute passes, and the boy is still deep in prayer, with his head down. 10 minutes pass, and still no movement from the boy. Finally, after 20 minutes with his head down, the girlfriend leans over and whispers to the boyfriend, "I had no idea you were this religious." The boy turns, and whispers back, "I had no idea your father was a pharmacist." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skydemon2 0 #2 August 21, 2008 A classic! And still funny Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clean to the bone! I like to start my day off with a little Ray of Soulshine™!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
downwardspiral 0 #3 August 21, 2008 nice! I didn't see that one coming! www.FourWheelerHB.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
aprilcat 0 #4 August 21, 2008 That was funny. I got one! A very pretty girl was driving down the road going at least 110 mph when she's pulled over by an even prettier cop. 'Let me see your license!' the cop demanded, and the girl dumped all the contents of her bag out on the passenger seat and took out a small mirror, and saw her reflection. 'Here it is!' she proudly exclaimed. The cop took the mirror and stared at it for a while. 'Hey! I didn't know you 'on the job' or I wouldn't have pulled you over! ***No Blonds were harmed in the telling of this joke***~~April Camelot II, the Electric Boogaloo! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jhrmustang 0 #5 August 21, 2008 A boy walks in on his parents having sex. The mother looks at the boy and says "I'm just trying to flatten your fathers stomach." The boy says "Don't bother, the babysitter gets on her knees and blows it back up again."The strong can always afford to be gentle, It is only the weak who need to "give as good as they get." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Redline165 0 #6 August 21, 2008 Reminded me of another one A boy walks in on his parents having sex. His father sees him and tries to get off but its to late. The boy quickly yells "Horsey!!!!" then promptly asks his father if he can ride too. The father trying to avoid more questions sighs and says "sure" The young boy then climbs on the fathers back" So they continue on for a good while, Then the mother starts to moan and groan, the boy taps his father on the shoulder and says "hold on tight daddy, this is the part where me and the mailman usually get bucked off!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 34 #7 August 21, 2008 Good ones... Similarly, but on a different tangent... See pic... "Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
iluvtofly 0 #8 August 21, 2008 You're not right. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 34 #9 August 21, 2008 Quote You're not right. When have I ever been? "Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LisaH 0 #10 August 21, 2008 Did you hear about the Texas teacher who was helping one of her kindergarten students put on his cowboy boots? He asked for help and she could see why. Even with her pulling and him pushing, the little boots still didn't want to go on. By the time the got the second boot on, she had worked up a sweat. She almost cried when the little boy said, Teacher, they're on the wrong feet.' She looked, and sure enough, they were. It wasn't any easier pulling the boots off than it was putting them on. She managed to keep her cool as together they worked to get the boots back on, this time on the right feet. He then announced, '....These aren't my boots. She bit her tongue rather than get right in his face and scream, 'Why didn't you say so?', like she wanted to. Once again, she struggled to help him pull the ill-fitting boots off his little feet. No sooner had they gotten the boots off when he said, 'They're my brother's boots. My Mom made me wear 'em.' Now she didn't know if she should laugh or cry But, she mustered up what grace and courage she had left to wrestle the boots on his feet again. Helping him into his coat, she asked, '....Now, where are your mittens?' He said, 'I stuffed 'em in the toes of my boots.' She will be eligible for parole in three years.Be yourself! MooOOooOoo Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Redline165 0 #11 August 21, 2008 Strange and out there, but i found it pretty funny A monkey is sitting in a tree smoking a joint when a lizard walks past and looks up and says to the monkey: "Hey! What are you doing?" The monkey says: "smoking a joint, come up and have some." So the lizard climbs up and sits next to the monkey and they share a few puffs. After a while the lizard says his mouth is 'dry' and is going to get a drink from the river. The lizard is so stoned that he leans too far over and falls into the river. A Crocodile sees this and swims over to the lizard and helps him to the side, then asks the lizard: "What's the matter with you?" The lizard explains to the crocodile that he was sitting smoking a joint with the monkey in the tree, got too stoned and then fell into the river while taking a drink. The crocodile says he has to check this out and walks into the jungle, finds the tree were the monkey is sitting, finishing a joint. The Crocodile looks up and says "Hey!" The Monkey looks down and says.... "Fuuuuuuuuck..... Duuuuuuude.....how much water did you drink?!!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 34 #12 August 21, 2008 And we get to read this one for at least the 6th time in the last couple months. "Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pyrodude 0 #13 August 21, 2008 Man walks into wife's bedroom with a sheep under his arm and announces, "This is the pig I fuck when you have a headache." The wife replies, "That's not a pig, that's a sheep!" Husband responds, "I wasn't talking to you." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LisaH 0 #14 August 21, 2008 Quote Man walks into wife's bedroom with a sheep under his arm and announces, "This is the pig I fuck when you have a headache." The wife replies, "That's not a pig, that's a sheep!" Husband responds, "I wasn't talking to you." Be yourself! MooOOooOoo Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
EvilEagle 0 #15 August 21, 2008 A man is at a pet store. The owner says he has an amazing frog. Guy sees the frog, nothing seems unusual or amazing, so he asks the owner. Owner wispers to him that this frog gives the most amazing blowjobs in the world. Man pays $50 for the frog. Late that night his wife hears a racket coming from the kitchen, walks in to find the guy & the frog covered in flour, eggs and milk. "What the hell is going on here?" She says The man replies: "If I can teach this frog to cook, you're outta here bi*#h!!!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
