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downwardspiral

Introverts

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but do you hate small talk?



I dislike ‘talk’ – small or otherwise – that is intentionally cruel or willfully mean. I dislike ‘talk’ that is ignorantly arrogant or pridefully wallows in ignorance. I dislike misogyny, including spoken/written under the guise of joking banter.

No, I don’t hate small talk. It’s not a binary choice for me. My response/engagement/tolerance is highly situational.

Some small talk can be tedious & superficial … otoh, it can also be silly, playful, and fun. It can establish ‘inside’ jokes that are between two people or a small group that increase group/team cohesiveness and function. I like flirting and intellectual sparring -- both of which some might consider small talk.

Small talk can be beneficial – I struck up a conversation with a couple in 2001 when I was in Chamonix, France. It started with small talk. Two years later, my trekking partner & I stayed with the wife while we were in Bangkok. She even enlisted one of her nephews to be our tour guide. He didn’t seem to mind (too much) escorting around two young American women. :D

Yes, I prefer substantive conversation. I prefer intellectually provocative, inquisitive conversation, even moreso, e.g., the kind of stuff that gets dismissed as “too serious” or “pointy-headed drivel.” :| I.e., the kind of stuff I respond to & write about over in Speakers Corner. At the same time, I can both appreciate the value of small talk and respect those who would prefer to not participate in either small talk or in (over)-serious conversation. Just my experience … your personal mileage may vary. :)
Now that’s ‘prolly more than you wanted to read. :D

/Marg

Act as if everything you do matters, while laughing at yourself for thinking anything you do matters.
Tibetan Buddhist saying

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"You don't know me I'm an introverted excavator" - Santogold
L.E.S. Artistes is the song if you want to check it out.

I have always been a huge introvert. Everything I do takes a lot of time and planning and when I hatch my plans I run with them and force my self to be more of an extrovert. It DOES exhaust me. I usually need a few days alone after large social functions or a busy day in the studio.

Yes everyone thinks I'm weird, I don't really care, most of the time.

:)


"Diligent observation leads to pure abstraction". Lari Pittman

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Yeah, I must confess. I am an introvert.
I used to think there was something wrong with me. Most of the time I don't want to be around lots of people and it's not because I don't like them. It just takes a lot out of me. I tried really hard to be extroverted and found that I don't do that very well at all and was very frustrated. I think that it hurts some of my friends feelings because I don't socialize as much as they do. I will point them to this website. It really explains me pretty well. Most of the time I prefer to be by myself. I only need a small amount of socializing.

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I'm a strong extrovert -- I *do* get energy from being around people and from connecting people and from leading and give me a 5-person or 5000-person audience that I get to speak to & I 'love' it!



Having to speak to a 5000-person audience!!!?

That would cause me more nerves and anxiety than anything else I can think of. (within reason of course)

I enjoy instructing/teaching subjects that I'm knowledgeable about, and therefore confident with - but public speaking? shudders> I have to get a grip of myself for such horrors!:D 30+ and the grey hairs start popping out.

'for it's Tommy this, an' Tommy that, an' "chuck 'im out, the brute!" But it's "saviour of 'is country" when the guns begin to shoot.'

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I'm a strong extrovert -- I *do* get energy from being around people and from connecting people and from leading and give me a 5-person or 5000-person audience that I get to speak to & I 'love' it!



Having to speak to a 5000-person audience!!!?

That would cause me more nerves and anxiety than anything else I can think of. (within reason of course)



I would lose sleep over a speech like that too, which (is one of the many reasons) why I admire extroverts.

Be humble, ask questions, listen, learn, follow the golden rule, talk when necessary, and know when to shut the fuck up.

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but do you hate small talk?



I dislike ‘talk’ – small or otherwise – that is intentionally cruel or willfully mean. I dislike ‘talk’ that is ignorantly arrogant or pridefully wallows in ignorance. I dislike misogyny, including spoken/written under the guise of joking banter.

No, I don’t hate small talk. It’s not a binary choice for me. My response/engagement/tolerance is highly situational.

Some small talk can be tedious & superficial … otoh, it can also be silly, playful, and fun. It can establish ‘inside’ jokes that are between two people or a small group that increase group/team cohesiveness and function. I like flirting and intellectual sparring -- both of which some might consider small talk.

Small talk can be beneficial – I struck up a conversation with a couple in 2001 when I was in Chamonix, France. It started with small talk. Two years later, my trekking partner & I stayed with the wife while we were in Bangkok. She even enlisted one of her nephews to be our tour guide. He didn’t seem to mind (too much) escorting around two young American women. :D

Yes, I prefer substantive conversation. I prefer intellectually provocative, inquisitive conversation, even moreso, e.g., the kind of stuff that gets dismissed as “too serious” or “pointy-headed drivel.” :| I.e., the kind of stuff I respond to & write about over in Speakers Corner. At the same time, I can both appreciate the value of small talk and respect those who would prefer to not participate in either small talk or in (over)-serious conversation. Just my experience … your personal mileage may vary. :)
Now that’s ‘prolly more than you wanted to read. :D

/Marg



I don't think the article meant to presume extroverts don't like meaningful, thought provoking conversation. It's has more to do with introverts hate small talk while extroverts don't. In my case that is absolutely true. I regard small talk as superficial and a waste of time. Why have a 5 minute conversation about nothing when a simple hello will do? But that really only has to do with people I know but aren't necessarily friends.

Striking up a conversation with a stranger isn't really small talk imo. I do that all the time and really enjoy it.

The main point of the article is introverts enjoy socializing but we can only handle so much before we need to be by ourselves to reenergize. :)
www.FourWheelerHB.com

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I was on an early version of the intp list in the early 90's.

I think that makes me an introvert :P

Wendy W.

There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)

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I'm an Introvert although I have been accused of being an extrovert on more then one occasion.

As I've gotten older I have learned to appreciate things that come with being more vocal and interacting with others... but I draw more energy from within myself and when I'm in an unfamiliar environment my introverted personality really shows up a lot more.

when I'm in a familiar environment or around people I know well I am more able to open up and be comfortable speaking my mind and sometimes
come across as being extroverted.



That sums me up pretty well too. I've been able to appear more extroverted as I've gotten older, and more comfortable with myself, but I'm definitely still very much an introvert. Definitely need my "recharge" time, as being around people and making small talk too long wears me out! :S

Enemiga Rodriguez, PMS #369, OrFun #25, Team Dirty Sanchez #116, Pelt Head #29, Muff #4091

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