skydiver30960 0 #1 February 4, 2009 Let's start a thread where we can (hopefully) teach each other about all the stuff we learned the hard way. Stuff like: 1.) Never fry bacon while naked. and 2.) Easy-Off works a little TOO well on non-stick coated cookie sheets. and 3.) NEVER accidentally reverse the cables when jump-starting an automobile. Add to the list! Elvisio "gonna be a long list" Rodriguez Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AggieDave 6 #2 February 4, 2009 $) You can actually weld a cheap wrench to a car battery terminal if you spark it just right when tightening the other terminal connection!--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnMitchell 14 #3 February 4, 2009 When the package of kid's diapers say "7-12 pounds" they aren't kidding. That is all they'll hold. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jtnesbitt 0 #4 February 4, 2009 Quote 1.) Never fry bacon while naked. Pssh, how else am I suposed to get my adrenaline rush in the winter?"If this post needs to be moderated I would prefer it to be completly removed and not edited and butchered into a disney movie" - DorkZone Hero Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skydiverbry 0 #5 February 4, 2009 Check to see if the coil wire on a car is tight-WHILE THE ENGINE IS RUNNING!!! See if you have feeling on the back of your thumbnail-Using a lit cigar(I was 12 years old)-------------------------------------------------- Growing old is mandatory.Growing up is optional!! D.S.#13(Dudeist Skdiver) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnMitchell 14 #6 February 4, 2009 Oh yeah, trying to steer my bike with only my feet on the handlebars while going down hill. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skydiverbry 0 #7 February 4, 2009 Rappelling Aussie style(while drunk),lean to far forward,picking up speed and then freak out and let go of the rope and try to break your fall with arm out streached. Broke awrist and left orbital socket -------------------------------------------------- Growing old is mandatory.Growing up is optional!! D.S.#13(Dudeist Skdiver) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skymama 35 #8 February 4, 2009 Don't try to learn how to snowboard on an icy slope.She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skydiverbry 0 #9 February 4, 2009 First time on ski's my "freinds' put me on 195 I think they were on ice.Last ski trip for me -------------------------------------------------- Growing old is mandatory.Growing up is optional!! D.S.#13(Dudeist Skdiver) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
VideoFly 0 #10 February 4, 2009 Wear eye protection when using an electric wire wheel. Brake bars on chain saws are a good thing. Gloves are good for high speed rappelling. A winter project trike in the living room may not fit out the door in the spring. The slide blows back on a semi-auto pistol. Gasoline lights well, but the vapors explode. Not all women with large bellies are pregnant. Teachers do have eyes on the backs of their head. Unbreakable plastic ketchup bottles do break. Marmots will go into your sleeping bag for food. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SuFantasma 0 #11 February 4, 2009 Don't ask your priest for sex advice , specially if you are an active altar boy. Y yo, pa' vivir con miedo, prefiero morir sonriendo, con el recuerdo vivo". - Ruben Blades, "Adan Garcia" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pokerstar 0 #12 February 4, 2009 NEVER pet a burning dog. DON'T whiz on the electric fence. TRY NOT to think about penguins.Fortunately, I'm adhering to a pretty strict, uh, drug, uh, regimen to keep my mind, you know, uh, limber. --- The Dude --- Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kallend 1,623 #13 February 4, 2009 Don't blow gasoline out of your mouth towards an open flame.... The only sure way to survive a canopy collision is not to have one. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnDeere 0 #14 February 4, 2009 Never through a bowie nife inthe air and catch it over and over It will stick in your hand Nothing opens like a Deere! You ignorant fool! Checks are for workers! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #15 February 4, 2009 1- Jokes aren't funny unless they are funny to everyone. 2- You don't have to tell every story you know. (See item one) 3- Practical jokes aren't necessarily funny to everyone. Some pranks may result in a well-deserved butt-whipping. (See item one) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 34 #16 February 4, 2009 Quote Oh yeah, trying to steer my bike with only my feet on the handlebars while going down hill. Hah, I once tried to steer my bike by tapping the front wheel with my foot (hands off the bars). Instant wipe-out. "Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
masterrig 1 #17 February 4, 2009 Don't squat with your spurs on. Don't tell a kid to stay away from a can of gas with matches. Chuck Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
towerrat 0 #18 February 4, 2009 don't breathe underwater without proper apparatus cops don't have a sense of humour don't eat both hits............ Play stupid games, win stupid prizes! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #19 February 4, 2009 Quote cops don't have a sense of humour don't eat both hits............ (voice of Bert) "This lesson was brought to you by the letter E" (/) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DrewEckhardt 0 #20 February 4, 2009 1) The parachutist must know where they're going to land (including how big the plants in the landing area are and what they might hide) before they take off. 2) On classic 4 wheel drives without a safety catch on the hood, the latches on the sides are VERY important. OTOH, the hood flipping open at 60 MPH and breaking off the windshield frame is a good way to get rid of hitchikers whose conversation has gotten a bit monotonous. The dude claimed to be a writer; I wonder if that experience influenced him. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jamiem 1 #21 February 4, 2009 Although 10 mph seems like a slow speed...NOT a good idea to jump from a movie vehicle wearing a bikini and flip flops. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Andy9o8 0 #22 February 4, 2009 Never "wheee!-lift" a toddler into the air near a ceiling fan. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wmw999 2,120 #23 February 4, 2009 Quote Never "wheee!-lift" a toddler into the air near a ceiling fan You could have told me that earlier 1. A barbed wire fence is not a good thing to start tightrope walking on 2. Trying a "cool" trick and failing is not a way to impress kids who are making fun of you Wendy W.There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
d_squared431 0 #25 February 4, 2009 QuoteDon't try to learn how to snowboard on an icy slope. That is a good one but people still do it..TPM Sister#130ONTIG#1 I love vodka.I love vodka cause it rhymes with Tuaca~LisaH You having a clean thought is like billyvance having a clean post.iluvtofly Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
