windcatcher 0 #1 March 20, 2009 Okay I'm starting this thread primarily to get a man's opinion on how important respect is. I've heard the phrase "telling a man you love him but don't respect him is equivalent to a man telling a woman i love you but I don't respect you." So guys, how important is respect to you, in a relationship? What does respect LOOK like? How does it feel when your woman doesn't respect you? Hallmark, movies,etc focus so much on a need to show love, well what about showing a man respect? What do you think? Feel free to disagree and flame away. Mother to the cutest little thing in the world... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PhreeZone 15 #2 March 20, 2009 If this thread takes on any religious overtones it will be moved to Speakers Corner. Everyone has been warned.Yesterday is history And tomorrow is a mystery Parachutemanuals.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
windcatcher 0 #3 March 20, 2009 haha, sorry about that! I didn't really think about that, I can edit my post to take out the religious part if you'd like. I figured I'd get a LOT more responses in here. Mother to the cutest little thing in the world... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mnealtx 0 #4 March 20, 2009 How can you honestly say you love someone if you don't respect them? That doesn't make any sense to me...Mike I love you, Shannon and Jim. POPS 9708 , SCR 14706 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
windcatcher 0 #5 March 20, 2009 It probably doesn't make sense to you because you're a man. J/K Trust me, a woman can love her husband and care about him, and not respect what he does or respect his behavior. Make sense? Mother to the cutest little thing in the world... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mnealtx 0 #6 March 20, 2009 Quote It probably doesn't make sense to you because you're a man. J/K Trust me, a woman can love her husband and care about him, and not respect what he does or respect his behavior. Make sense? Ah, but that is different than what you said in your OP. So, which is it? She doesn't respect the man for himself, or doesn't respect his job/accomplishments?Mike I love you, Shannon and Jim. POPS 9708 , SCR 14706 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jewels 0 #7 March 20, 2009 I'm the wrong gender to respond to your thread, but it's just so tempting to toss in my $0.02, that I'll try to type in a deep, masculine voice and see if that fools anybody. . . . I think men and women both need love and respect, but I think they tend to need them in a different order. I think (sweeping generalization coming) women tend to want love first, then respect, and I think men tend to want respect first, then love. I agree that love and respect go hand in hand and if you have one, the other should be there as well. I just think the genders tend to gravitate to one or the other in a different order. In many ways, love and respect are two sides of the same coin.TPM Sister #102 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
matthewcline 0 #8 March 20, 2009 Quote It probably doesn't make sense to you because you're a man. J/K Trust me, a woman can love her husband and care about him, and not respect what he does or respect his behavior. Make sense? To me, it does not make sense, but I have heard it for 15 years. I also am one, who does not understand, NOT showing a person you love them. MattAn Instructors first concern is student safety. So, start being safe, first!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SARLDO 0 #9 March 20, 2009 I would like a woman to respect me enough to tell me if she does not love me, rather than she pretend to do both. So I guess respect is very important from this perspective. If she just wants to have sex and run, I could care less if there is respect in the morning "Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest" ~Samuel Clemens MB#4300 Dudeist Skydiver #68 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DJL 232 #10 March 20, 2009 For me there isn't love without respect."I encourage all awesome dangerous behavior." - Jeffro Fincher Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
poolmarty 0 #11 March 20, 2009 QuoteHow can you honestly say you love someone if you don't respect them? That doesn't make any sense to me... I agree with this statement. Because if the respect is not there love will eventually be replaced with resentment. IMHO. Some people don't always know what their SO sees as love or respect and therfore don't know how to show in a way that will be seen. Try this: Write down respect in one column and love in the other, then you and your sit down seperately and write down what those things mean to you. Then exchange the papers and you will see how your partner (or whom ever it may be) Views these things. It's a good excercise to learn how to show some one love and respect in a manner that they will understand. Ok maybe I go off the topic a little, but it was my first though. Because to not be respected can be painful. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
windcatcher 0 #12 March 20, 2009 Quote I'm the wrong gender to respond to your thread, but it's just so tempting to toss in my $0.02, that I'll try to type in a deep, masculine voice and see if that fools anybody. . . . I think men and women both need love and respect, but I think they tend to need them in a different order. I think (sweeping generalization coming) women tend to want love first, then respect, and I think men tend to want respect first, then love. I agree that love and respect go hand in hand and if you have one, the other should be there as well. I just think the genders tend to gravitate to one or the other in a different order. In many ways, love and respect are two sides of the same coin. I agree! Mother to the cutest little thing in the world... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
windcatcher 0 #13 March 20, 2009 To clarify, I DON'T think love and respect are mutually exclusive of each other. I was simply wanting to focus on men and respect; the more I learn everyone seems to focus so much on love but forget to focus on respect. If I do all these lovey dovey things for my husband but yell at him or do something behind his back, I am not showing him respect which pretty much negates all of the lovey-dovey stuff. IMHO. Mother to the cutest little thing in the world... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jewels 0 #14 March 20, 2009 I think if a woman feels genuinely loved, she will also feel respected. If a man feels genuinely respected, he will also feel loved. It's just a matter of which one is the dominant preference for men and women. I have no doubt that there are plenty of exceptions, but it's just a generalization. (Sorry, I'll take my X chromosomes and shut them up now.)TPM Sister #102 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
windcatcher 0 #15 March 20, 2009 QuoteI think if a woman feels genuinely loved, she will also feel respected. If a man feels genuinely respected, he will also feel loved. It's just a matter of which one is the dominant preference for men and women. I have no doubt that there are plenty of exceptions, but it's just a generalization. (Sorry, I'll take my X chromosomes and shut them up now.) Yep, I agree with this too; but I DO believe that for men it is respect, for women it is love. Any man disagree? Mother to the cutest little thing in the world... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mnealtx 0 #16 March 20, 2009 QuoteIf I do all these lovey dovey things for my husband but yell at him or do something behind his back, I am not showing him respect which pretty much negates all of the lovey-dovey stuff. IMHO. While I understand what you are saying, I disagree with this (at least the yell at him part).Mike I love you, Shannon and Jim. POPS 9708 , SCR 14706 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Icon134 0 #17 March 20, 2009 I'm not sure I understand the question... I'm going to use my little sister as an example... she has a radically different political viewpoint then I do... now although I may not agree with her political viewpoints I do respect her opinion and I don't love my sister any less due to our differing opinions and I can certainly respectfully disagree with her opinion... as well as she can do the same with me... I think this is kind of what you are getting at... but I could be wrong...Livin' on the Edge... sleeping with my rigger's wife... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
countzero 7 #18 March 20, 2009 here's a few things i think showing respect means- maintaining honest and open communication with the person (not gossiping or tearing the person down behind thier back, if you've got an issue you should have the integrity to discuss it with them). not taking advantage of a person and thier things or thier generosity. showing consideration for thier opinions and feelings and not minimizing them or what they say when it dosen't match with your ideals.diamonds are a dawgs best friend Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnnyD 0 #19 March 20, 2009 It means: there will always be a special place for you in my heart, but you have got to go. Love and respect are paramount to a man. You can love someone, but without respect, you can not be with that person. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Katzeye 0 #20 March 20, 2009 I thought women wanted to be CHERISHED and men RESPECTED... And I think a man has to get through respecting as woman before he can cherish her... Is a chicken omelette redundant? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
regulator 0 #21 March 20, 2009 What does respect have anything to do with religeon? Personally respect is tantamount in any relationship. Love and respect are two different things entirely. I love my fiancee and respect her because she lets me be me without having to change who I am to make her happy. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
windcatcher 0 #22 March 20, 2009 Quote What does respect have anything to do with religeon? Personally respect is tantamount in any relationship. Love and respect are two different things entirely. I love my fiancee and respect her because she lets me be me without having to change who I am to make her happy. I was referring to a scripture that referenced respect, but edited it out. Mother to the cutest little thing in the world... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tigra 0 #23 March 20, 2009 There's a HUGE difference between respect and blind obedience. You can love and respect someone- a man or a woman- and still disagree, get mad or have and/or express your own opinion. Anyone who doesn't understand that doesn't understand what love or respect actually mean. And sorry, but love and respect do go hand in hand and I honestly don't think its possible to truly love someone without respecting them. On the other hand, you CAN respect someone you don't love. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Broke 0 #24 March 20, 2009 I suppose it is possible to love someone without respecting them. I mean isn't that what an abusive controlling signifigant other is. They can love you, but they don't respect you. Since there is no respect then they don't care about how their actions affect the one the supposidly love. Personally I cannot love someone I don't respect.Divot your source for all things Hillbilly. Anvil Brother 84 SCR 14192 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mamajumps 0 #25 March 20, 2009 Wrong gender here again, but I just had to add my .02 too...About a year after I separated from my now ex-husband, he called me and asked what he had done that had hurt me the most thru out our marriage. I am sure he expected me to say the endless cheating, the physical & mental abuse. But what I said brought a deep silence from him. I told him that he never respected me, and without that respect, he could never had loved me the way a husband was supposed to love a wife. Now this lack of respect was not brought on by anything that I did, he is the type of man who does not respect any woman, not even his own mother. Had I been older and wiser when I met him, I would have seen this major red flag. Now he is married again to a very young and naive girl, just like me and his first wife were... I feel so sorry for her.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
