Nataly 38 #1 May 19, 2009 My upstairs neighbour has had their daughter and granddaughter over for the last few weeks. The baby has an *impressive* set of lungs and seems to just cry all day/night long. It was driving me absolutely mental until I finally bought earplugs (which happily are doing the trick I seem to have no patience/tolerance for screaming kids.. Is it *really* different when you have your own?? I'm being serious!"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnMitchell 14 #2 May 19, 2009 Yes, it is. When you are the parent, and responsible for the child, you listen to the screaming for what the child is trying to tell you. Could be hungry, dirty, tired, bored, in pain, sick, etc. Since you love them so much, you try to figure out what the child needs and then attend to it. When they get older and try to use temper tantrums as a control mechanism, your responses will change. If they do that in the store on a shopping trip, you take them out to the car and straight home. No toy, no candy, no more looking at the puppies in the pet store. Valinda showed me how to raise kids you could take anywhere, and we did. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Will_Evo 0 #3 May 19, 2009 Im with you nataly, I dont think I could deal with kids. The screaming and bickering, hell I cant really stand to be around one. I especially have a problem being around the kid when hes at the age where he thinks he knows everything. Granted I understand we all were that age, our parents dealt with it, etc... but I have a problem with always correcting people about things they say, even if its not important. It just annoys me. bah no kids for me -Evo Zoo Crew Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PLFKING 3 #4 May 19, 2009 Quote When they get older and try to use temper tantrums as a control mechanism, your responses will change. So, at what age does this occur ? My wife of 10 months has custody of her 2-yr-old granddaughter, and her whining/crying is the only thing we argue about. I never had kids, but it seems her actions are to get her way. My wife raised 2 kids, and her argument is the same as yours -- that she's trying to tell us something. She already has a vocabulary of about 30 words.....I thinks she's acting spoiled. My wife is of the opinion that since I never had kids, I don't know shit from shinola. Don"When in doubt I whip it out, I got me a rock-and-roll band. It's a free-for-all." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
riddler 0 #5 May 19, 2009 Quote I seem to have no patience/tolerance for screaming kids.. Is it *really* different when you have your own?? Yes, it's worse. See, nature has programmed parents to be especially receptive to the screaming of their own children, and has also programmed the children to know exactly the frequencies to use to trigger the greatest amount of pain in their parents ears. They say that parents know the sound of their own children. That's because it hurts more Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hungarianchick 0 #6 May 19, 2009 Fortunately, I'll never have to find out! "I love cooking with wine. Sometimes I even put it in the food." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #7 May 19, 2009 OK, all interesting points of view.. If you've always loved kids, it makes sense to me to love your own *even* more.. Maybe it sounds awful to say that I've always found kids intolerable, but I was just wondering if anyone else out there felt like that before they had their own and whether it was somehow tolerable when it came to their own children. I'm not planning on having kids any time soon, but I can't help but hope that I would have a little more tolerance with my own kids somehow..."There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #8 May 19, 2009 Quote Quote When they get older and try to use temper tantrums as a control mechanism, your responses will change. So, at what age does this occur ? My wife of 10 months has custody of her 2-yr-old granddaughter, and her whining/crying is the only thing we argue about. I never had kids, but it seems her actions are to get her way. My wife raised 2 kids, and her argument is the same as yours -- that she's trying to tell us something. She already has a vocabulary of about 30 words.....I thinks she's acting spoiled. My wife is of the opinion that since I never had kids, I don't know shit from shinola. Don See, this kinda describes how I imagine I would feel in your situation.."There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ryoder 1,381 #9 May 19, 2009 The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, and the second half by our children. -- Clarence Darrow, US defense lawyer (1857 - 1938)"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
mamajumps 0 #10 May 19, 2009 For me, I have to go with yes & no. I know the difference between BS screams and serious screams (my youngest is 7) I have zero tolerance for the BS screams, but the serious (which are very rare) have me there in a nano second. Mine (mostly the youngest, who has definitly been babied) scream when they don't get their way from one of their sibilings. Typical sibling fights. Those result in a mad mommy.... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #11 May 19, 2009 Quote The first half of our lives is ruined by our parents, and the second half by our children. -- Clarence Darrow, US defense lawyer (1857 - 1938) Ahh.. Well in that case I might just be the exception!! My parents were *great* "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #12 May 19, 2009 Quote For me, I have to go with yes & no. I know the difference between BS screams and serious screams (my youngest is 7) I have zero tolerance for the BS screams, but the serious (which are very rare) have me there in a nano second. Mine (mostly the youngest, who has definitly been babied) scream when they don't get their way from one of their sibilings. Typical sibling fights. Those result in a mad mommy.... Ah, well, the baby upstairs is only a few weeks old, so it's probably not BS screams at this point!!! I know the baby can't help it, but OMG it *still* drives me crazy "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
vskydiver 0 #13 May 19, 2009 Kids will do exactly what you let them get away with. Off course a tiny infant will cry but you can figure out what's the matter and get it to stop. You make them feel secure that you will provide for them and all is good. When they get a little older they will continue to cry if they have learned it's the only way to get what they want. As they get to be toddlers they learn to whine. And they will do this if it gets them what they want. I don't think any child wants to scream and cry and whine all the time. They have to learn other ways to get what they want. If you are consistent and teach them other ways you will have well behaved kids. Like John said, we could take our kids anywhere. Even when they were very small. Kids continue to test the boundaries you set up for them, just to make sure they are still there. You continually have to be consistent with them. But they are awesome and well worth the work you put into them! I love my kids!!! Not all parents have taught their kids how to not cry and whine when they want something. So other people's kids can get annoying sometimes. But then, some adults haven't learned how to not cry and whine when they want something either, so it's not just the kids. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #14 May 19, 2009 Ha ha ha!! That all makes sense (But I'm still thankful for these earplugs at the moment!!! ) "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shropshire 0 #15 May 19, 2009 There's nothing in this world worse than other peoples kidsHeard way to often these days ....... "argh isn't he sweet?" "no, he's a thug and you are a shite insonsiderate parent" (.)Y(.) Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skybytch 259 #16 May 19, 2009 Quote Is it *really* different when you have your own?? Wasn't for me. I've heard that the sound of a crying baby is supposed to drive humans mental; it's a survival of the species thing. I was soooo happy once my son could finally tell me what was wrong instead of screaming no matter what I tried. But then again, the sound of happy screaming children (i.e. at a playground) will also drive me up a wall, so my input here probably doesn't represent any sort of "norm". Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnMitchell 14 #17 May 19, 2009 Quote "argh isn't he sweet?" "no, he's a thug and you are a shite insonsiderate parent" As the kid is tearing apart your stuff "Junior is so mechanically minded." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnMitchell 14 #18 May 19, 2009 Quote we could take our kids anywhere. Even when they were very small. Sure was fun, wasn't it? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnMitchell 14 #19 May 19, 2009 Quote \ My wife of 10 months has custody of her 2-yr-old granddaughter, and her whining/crying is the only thing we argue about. Sorry to hear that. Make sure you read what Vskydiver posted above. Don't ever give into the whining. Make them learn other ways to ask for things. If the child has a 30 word vocabulary, make sure one is "please" and two more are "thank you." Some people think you'll hurt your child if you don't give them every little thing they want. Hell, that's the best way to ruin them. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LuckyMcSwervy 0 #20 May 20, 2009 I've always loved the way Valinda and John will share their parenting style/tips. If I had become a parent that's exactly how I would raise my kids. Always be kinder than you feel. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
vskydiver 0 #21 May 20, 2009 Quote I've always loved the way Valinda and John will share their parenting style/tips. If I had become a parent that's exactly how I would raise my kids. Awe! Thanks! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnDeere 0 #22 May 20, 2009 Quote Yes, it is. When you are the parent, and responsible for the child, you listen to the screaming for what the child is trying to tell you. Could be hungry, dirty, tired, bored, in pain, sick, etc. Since you love them so much, you try to figure out what the child needs and then attend to it. When they get older and try to use temper tantrums as a control mechanism, your responses will change. If they do that in the store on a shopping trip, you take them out to the car and straight home. No toy, no candy, no more looking at the puppies in the pet store. Valinda showed me how to raise kids you could take anywhere, and we did. +1 It is different.But in the same hand now that i have kids i have no problem correcting other kids that dont know how to act. I have some kids that come to my house that wont listen to there parents but, when they come to my house they know how to act cause its not an optionNothing opens like a Deere! You ignorant fool! Checks are for workers! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnDeere 0 #23 May 20, 2009 Quote but I was just wondering if anyone else out there felt like that before they had their own and whether it was somehow tolerable when it came to their own children. Yes it is very diff. The very secound my first child was born it was completely diff. I never held a child before i held my first. It is something that can not be described (like skydiving). You will not understand untill that day! It (my children) is the greatest thing in this world! you will change that day if it ever happensNothing opens like a Deere! You ignorant fool! Checks are for workers! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
FixFly 1 #24 May 20, 2009 A whole thread full of sage advice, and yet no mention of a good old fashioned ass whuppin'. You people are leaving out an important part of early childhood development. Give 'em something to cry about, & they'll straighten up pretty quick.Is it illegal to yell "MOVIE" in a crowded firehouse? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnDeere 0 #25 May 20, 2009 Quote A whole thread full of sage advice, and yet no mention of a good old fashioned ass whuppin'. You people are leaving out an important part of early childhood development. Give 'em something to cry about, & they'll straighten up pretty quick. She didnt ask about that. Ask my oldest what i will do if she dont listen.... ITS ON! I tell her if she dont like it then call CPS! And they can find her a new home!Nothing opens like a Deere! You ignorant fool! Checks are for workers! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
