Can't sleep. Clowns will eat me...

[Girlfalldown 0]

It's after 1am. I have to work tomorrow. My Mamu's in the hospital.

Mamu means grandma in our family. There's only one. My Mamu. My brother started it. He didn't Know how to say the word for grandma in Armenian so he said Mamu and it stuck. That's all I've ever called her.

She's almost 85. Her true name is Amelia. Her friends call her Billy.

She's the strongest, most beautiful and nurturing woman I have ever known.

She was a welder during the war. The men were away so she took it on and she was one of the best. She even worked in Alameda where I lived years later. Her life is so interesting to me and I'm always learning more.

After that she married my grandfather. He was a plumber with a store in Costa Mesa.

She wanted to make her own money though so eventually, she took out a small loan and bought her first house. Fixed it up and sold it. She continued doing that so that she wouldn't have to depend on her husband for everything. She wanted to be self sufficient.

She never really made much extra money this way but she's managed to help people by doing this. Sure she get's screwed over a lot by those that are just looking for someone like her to take advantage of but her happiness comes from the successes of others and in being able to help them so I think the good always overshadows the bad for her.

She's my grandmother but she's also my mother figure. Without her I would never have learned what unconditional love was.

This morning I got a phone call.

My Mamu has had some stomach pains for a few days. Last night her husband awoke and reached over to touch her and she was cold. He thought she was dead. It terrified him. He tried to wake her up and she came around saying she felt ok but he insisted on calling an ambulance.

She said she was fine again, not wanting to complain. She's like that. She doesn't like to be a burden on anyone. It's so infuriating sometimes, especially this time. Right after she said she was ok she began vomiting.

She was rushed to the hospital at 3am and at that point I only know what was relayed to me by different family members that live near her and went to the hospital to be with her.

They took blood and urine tests, took a cat-scan gave her pain medicine and some antibiotics. They thought it was a kidney stone with a bladder infection and a few other issues that come with age and 5 hours later, then they sent her home with a bunch of prescriptions for pain, antibiotics, etc.

Then, about an hour after she got home, she got a phone call from the hospital. It seems they were mistaken and she might have an appendicitis.

She was rushed back to the hospital.

At this point I should add that this is a hospital in the desert. It's no UCSF. It's no Hoag. It's a desert hospital. Not the most attractive place for the best of the best to want to work.

She gets back to the hospital and they tell her that if it indeed is her appendix, they will cover the charge of the surgery. They're now trying to cover their ass for sending an 85 year old woman with a swollen appendix home with the wrong medication.

Something else I might add:
10% of all appendicitis is in the 60 years or older group. 90% are between the ages of 10 and 30. However, 50% of fatalities from appendicitis are in the 60 year and older group.

This scares me. I'm not sure how to take it.

Usually, with the elderly (and I hate to call her that because she's in better condition than my own real mother who's 60) they tend to not realize the pain they're experiencing is so bad that they should be hospitalized so they don't make it to the hospital in time.

So now they've moved her to another hospital. One with her real doctor and not just the ER doctor. They've done the tests again. Given 2 CAT scans and multiple blood tests. They say her appendix is inflamed but the doctor hasn't even seen her yet at the new hospital (this has been going on now for over 24 hours).

I'm freaked out. Worried sick. I don't know what to do and my mind is a blur. I'm angry at the hospital and frightened for my Mamu's life.

I want to fly down there and be with her. Flights from SF to Ontario are cheap now. But I have to wait til I get a phone call to see what the results are first. I feel like I'm going to be up all night but I don't know if I can do it. I'm so worried.

Should I fly down in the morning? Screw work? Just go?

Ugh..

there's so many more issues but i'm into my second glass of wine. Yeah, Ive been so stressed I haven't even been able to drink wine!.

My grandmother is an amazing woman. She's been through a lot and always has a smile and a joke at the end of it to lighten the mood even when it's her life on the line.

I love her. I don't want anything to happen to her. I need to spend more time with her before our time runs out and I'm scared.

If it's her time, I guess it's her time. I don't want her in pain. I just want to be able to spend a little more time with her. I haven't seen her since Christmas, two years ago. Before that it was even longer.

I don't get along with my own mother, Mamu's daughter. No one does. She has some issues that tend to push people away which keeps me away from the area in which they live. Unfortunately Mamu and her live near each other and my grandmother doesn't like to lie so it's very difficult to get alone time with her.

What can I say? I'm afraid. I don't want my grandmother to die because of a hospital error. I don't want her to die at all. If she has surgery there's a problem with her heart that makes the anesthesia difficult to come out of already. At 85 that's a scary thought. If her appendix bursts though...well...

I'm sorry. I just really needed to put this down in words and let it hit home a little harder. Sometimes it's easier to post it online because I'm forced to read it over and over again. I'm scared.

[freeflir29 0]

So sorry to hear that sweety. Big hugs and I hope it all turns out OK.

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[Girlfalldown 0]

Thank you Clay. You know I'm not usually the one to whine about real life stuff but this one is really messing with my heart and I was driven to put it down in words to help see it from other's perspective.

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(Do not, I repeat DO NOT, take my posts seriously.)

[freeflir29 0]

Quote

Thank you Clay. You know I'm not usually the one to whine about real life stuff but this one is really messing with my heart

No problem. We all have bumpy spots in the road from time to time and need friends to lean on.

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[sunshine 2]

Sorry you're going through this chica. You are most definitely in my thoughts and prayers. Try and muster up a smile or two today and keep us updated on Mamu.

___________________________________________
meow

I get a Mike hug! I get a Mike hug!

[swedishcelt 0]

I hope mamu feels better Shannon. You'll be in my thoughts and prayers.

[Squeak 17]

Lucky bloody clowns

You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky)
My Life ROCKS!
How's yours doing?

[NWFlyer 2]

Thinking of you, Shannon. I don't know what to tell you to do, but I will say "Screw work."

Your grandmother sounds like an amazing influence in your life and I hope you get to spend more time with her.

"There is only one basic human right, the right to do as you damn well please. And with it comes the only basic human duty, the duty to take the consequences." -P.J. O'Rourke

[skymama 35]

My heart goes out to you. My own grandmother gave us a health scare at Christmastime (she's 90), so I know what you're going through. I say you go see her. You're not going to be able to concentrate on work anyway today, right? Imagine how happy she'll be when she sees you.

She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon

[popsjumper 2]

Shannon,
I'm so sorry that you and Mamu are going through this...I send comforting hugs to you and to Mamu.

I say screw work and get to her NOW, no question. It's the right thing to do and both you and she will be glad you did.

You guys are in my prayers.

My reality and yours are quite different.
I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239

[masterblaster72 0]

Wow, reading this is especially sad for me, and I know what you're going through. My maternal grandmother died as a result of a hospital error in Italy almost 20 years ago. I don't think your grandmother will see the same fate though and I think there's plenty of hope for her situation. If I were you I would take the trip to Ontario -- think of how happy that would make her. I wish you and your grandmother all the best.

[PLFXpert 0]

I've said a prayer, for you hunny
Hang in there.

I remember dealing with all the things that happened when my Oma was here. I regarded her the way you do you Mamu (I love that (Mamu)! Billy's family calls their grandmas' "Tita" from Lebanese)

And PS. I'm a professional clown fighter. I will send you vibes

Paint me in a corner, but my color comes back.

[brits17 0]

First I clicked on this to comment on your thread title because it used to be my sig line back in the day...

But now its to say I'm sorry and damn I understand the feeling of helplessness...
My uncle just passed a couple months ago from a hospital error, he was 50 and a hero figure to me. It was all I could do not to hurl in the hospital room watching him slip away, with my grandmother and his daughter holding his hand.
BUT I must say I'm so glad I got to see him one last time. He couldn't see or hear me, but it brought closure and peace watching him go to the other side.

I'm glad you wrote all this down, it helps to put it all out there sometimes. Mamu's in my thoughts and prayers for sure. She sounds like an inspiring and wonderful woman. Let me know if you need anything.

_______________________
aerialkinetics.com

[pullhigh 0]

I'm sure she'll be fine GFD, but if it were me and I could afford to go, I'd already be on my way. My Grandmother is 89 and we're not near as close as you guys sound to be, but she's the only Grand I have left.

Ganja

[TMPattersonJr 0]

GFD lots of thoughts and prayers coming from Florida for you and Mamu. Hope everything turns out alright for her and I'm agreeing with everyone else,SCREW WORK!!! Take a sick day and go visit her. If she means that much to you should go and deal with work later.

<<>><<>>

Take care

Blue SkiesBlack DeathFacebook
www.PLabsInc.com
www.SkydiveDeLand.com
www.FlyteSkool.ws

[jdthomas 0]

Should I fly down in the morning? Screw work? Just go?


You will never regret going? you could possibly regret not going.
if you have, or even if you don't have the cash then go. if your work is cool with it then go. and even if they are not, go. and then find a place to work that understands these things.
I was there when my grandfather was passing, many of my family did not come to see him. they have regret for that lost moment. the evnt actually made me happy to see his pain end and I think that because I was there at that time is the only reason I could deal with my loss.( I wanted to say his loss, but his ending pain was his gain and not his loss.)
Go see your grandmother!
Joe

www.greenboxphotography.com

[turtlespeed 212]

Go.

If anything - it will ease your mind to see her.

I wish there was something I could do besides what I am already doing.

If it makes a difference - I am on that believes in the power of combined thought - I am hoping everyone is helping her right now too.

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[Kid_Icarus 0]

These clowns???

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vbCiac03ycQ

________________________________________
"What What.....

[TheAnvil 0]

Hope you get some good news about your Mamu.

Sometimes it's time to screw work and go be with your family - this could be one of those times for you. Work will always be there in one form or another - family won't.

sorry you're going thru this.

Vinny the Anvil
Post Traumatic Didn't Make The Lakers Syndrome is REAL
JACKASS POWER!!!!!!

[VanillaSkyGirl 6]

Sweetie, i hope that you screwed work and went to see your Mamu. My own grandmother was sick all last year, which was the main reason that I stopped jumping. I hope that yours is doing better, very soon.

Hugs, love, peace to you, Shannon.

[guppie01 0]

Sweetie, I am so sorry I haven't responded sooner.... When I read of things like this it tugs at my heart strings too much (especially when it's someone that I consider a beautiful soul such as yourself) to think and articulate clearly.

I hope you decided to screw work and fly/drive south. Unfortunately there are never any guarantees with life so don't waste time worrying about the job. Go and give your grandma love.
I'll have you and Mamu in constant thoughts and prayers.

Much love and hugs girl!!!

xoxo g

"Let's do something romantic this Saturday... how bout we bust out the restraints?"
Raddest Ho this side of Jersey #1 - MISS YOU
OMG, is she okay?

[Cornholio 0]

Shannon, leave work and go - Now! From my last experience with such a thing, I still regret not leaving when I first thought about it. I don't mean to scare you, but I'll tell you the short version, of which I haven't posted on these forums yet.

1 week before last Christmas, December 18th, my Dad was complaining of chest pains and irregular breathing. He was rushed to the hospital early in the morning and the doctors said he was having a heart attack, so they operated on him immediately and put in a stint. I got a call that morning from my stepmom telling me what happened and saying that he was ok and there was no reason to come out. I spoke to him and he sounded fine and told me there was no reason to come and see him. I thought about him all day and finally made a decision in the evening to catch a flight out to see him the next morning on the 19th. Due to airplane problems and such, my flight was delayed for several hours from 7AM departure until 1PM. I arrived in NC early in the morning on the 20th. Soon after landing, I was told by by stepmom that he had passed away due to heart damage on the 19th - around 7PM.

"If only" I would have taken the first immediate flight on the 18th, I probably would have been able to see him on the 19th before he passed that evening. That "if only" still lingers with me - 5 months later and will probably never leave me and I won't make the same mistake twice.

Again, I don't want to scare you - but if I were you and had to do it all over again - I wouldn't even have started this thread, but would be finding the soonest flight out to see her. Go! It might not be the fatal ending like mine, but I'm sure she would be very very happy to see you. My Dad knew I was coming, but it was too late.

Butthead: Whoa! Burritos for breakfast!
Beavis: Yeah! Yeah! Cool!
bellyflier on the dz.com hybrid record jump

[Girlfalldown 0]

Update!

Well, I screwed work off but I didn't fly down. I was up most the night on the phone with one family member or another and the hospital.

They moved her from the hospital she was at to the one where her regular doctor is. It's supposed to be a better hospital.

The doctor went over everything again just now and now he thinks it's NOT an appendicitis. He's back to the kidney stone theory. I'm hoping he's right. More tests, more opinions...

I've talked to Mamu a couple of times. First she said that most of the stuff they can fix with meds and they can just take the appendix out if they need to. (she said it as if it were just a trip to the corner store) Then she made me giggle by saying the rest of her problems are just old age and they can't fix that.

The last time I talked to her she demanded that I stop worrying about her. She said she's perfectly fine and the doctors don't know a damn thing. Typical grandma comment huh?

She sounds good but a bit confused because there are so many people in the room and she said she doesn't need one more. She sent everyone away earlier this morning so she could get some rest and stop worrying about them worrying about her.

Between the phone calls, visitors and tests she's a bit overloaded so I'm not going to add to it right now. I realized she doesn't actually want all those people there. She'd rather just rest and be with her husband til they figure it all out.

I'm ready though. I'll be down in a second if anything changes.

Thank you all for your kind words and support. I felt like a big whiney attention whore when I remembered that I posted this last night but I do think we draw energy from each other in good times and bad. Even if we don't know each other yet.

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(Do not, I repeat DO NOT, take my posts seriously.)

[monkycndo 0]

Good to hear your Mamu is doing better. And don't worry about the clowns next time. They are there to protect you from the penguins.

50 donations so far. Give it a try.

You know you want to spank it
Jump an Infinity

[Shawndiver 0]

Great news Shannon!!
I know the feelings you are going through, just went through it last week with my mother who just went through angioplasty for two blocked coronary arteries. Just know that if it is necessary, the techniques they are using these days are nothing short of amazing, so much better than even a few years ago. I mean, they placed devices in my mom's heart, and she was walking up the drive to her house unaided the next day!! Vibes to you and your Mamu, and know she knows you are there in spirit!

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