Things I learned in Florida...a morning ha ha

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1) A possum is a flat animal that sleeps in the middle of the road.

2) There are 5,000 types of snakes and 4,998 of them live in FLORIDA.

3) There are 10,000 types of spiders, and all 10,000 of them live in OCALA FL.

4) If it grows, it'll stick ya. If it crawls, it'll bite cha.

5) "Onced" and "Twiced" are words.

6) It is not a shopping cart, it's a buggy.

7) "Jaw-P?" means, "Did y'all go to the bathroom?"

8) People actually grow and eat okra.

9) "Fixinto" is one word.

10) There is no such thing as lunch. There is only dinner and then there is supper...

11) Iced tea is appropriate for all meals, and you start drinking it when you're two.
We do like a little tea with our sugar.

12) Backwards and forwards means, "I know everythin' bout you."

13) The word "jeet" is actually a phrase meaning, "Did you eat?"

14) You don't have to wear a watch, because it doesn't matter what time it is. You work until you're done or it's too dark to see...

15) You don't PUSH buttons, you MASH em.

16) You measure distance in minutes.

17) You switch from heat to A/C in the same day.

18) All the festivals across the state are named after a fruit, vegetable, grain, insect or animal.

19) You know what a "Dawg" is.

20) You carry jumper cables in your car - for your own car.

21) You only own five spices: salt, pepper, Texas Pete , Tabasco and ketchup.

22) The local papers cover national and international news on one page, but require 6 pages for local gossip and high school football...

23) You think that the first day of deer season is a national holiday.

24) You find 100 degrees "a bit warm."

25) You know all four seasons: Almost summer, summer, still summer, and Christmas.

26) Going to Walmart is a favorite past time known as "goin' Walmartin" or "off to Wally World."

27) You describe the first cool snap (below 70 degrees) as good hog killin' weather.

28) Fried catfish is the other white meat.

29) We don't need no dang Driver's Ed...
If our mama says we can drive, we can drive dag-nabbit.

[SARLDO 0]

lol... those are so true.

Missed one: Strrets don't need names, only numbers to identify them.

"Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest" ~Samuel Clemens

MB#4300
Dudeist Skydiver #68

[Will_Evo 0]

Where the hell in Florida did you go? You must have been in Northern Florida, or the Everglades. To me it sounds like you are describing Alabama, Georgia and Arkansas...Florida may be "in the south" but we are definitely an exception to the "dirty south" culture. Check out Pensacola, Jacksonville, Orlando, Tampa, Daytona, Miami...you'll see the other side of the great sunshine state. Just to clarify I grew up in Tampa, and cant wait to move back ASAP.


-Evo

Zoo Crew

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Where the hell in Florida did you go? You must have been in Northern Florida, or the Everglades. To me it sounds like you are describing Alabama, Georgia and Arkansas...Florida may be "in the south" but we are definitely an exception to the "dirty south" culture. Check out Pensacola, Jacksonville, Orlando, Tampa, Daytona, Miami...you'll see the other side of the great sunshine state. Just to clarify I grew up in Tampa, and cant wait to move back ASAP.


-Evo

I live in good ol' Polk County... smack dab in the middle of the state... I think this entire county was plucked straight out of Alabama, or maybe Tennessee or possibly even Georgia....

[futuredivot 0]

Ever heard the term "Suntan Yankee"?

You are only as strong as the prey you devour

[Misternatural 0]

>I live in good ol' Polk County... smack dab in the middle of the state


Well wheedeleydeedley-do for you.... ever been to Pahokee?

Beware of the collateralizing and monetization of your desires.
D S #3.1415

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>I live in good ol' Polk County... smack dab in the middle of the state


Well wheedeleydeedley-do for you.... ever been to Pahokee?

Why yes sir... I have been to Pahokee

Most people there have one stick in their family tree... and it goes straight up....

[turtlespeed 212]

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>I live in good ol' Polk County... smack dab in the middle of the state


Well wheedeleydeedley-do for you.... ever been to Pahokee?

Why yes sir... I have been to Pahokee

Most people there have one stick in their family tree... and it goes straight up....

. . . and Plant City? i knew I'd remember one day.

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

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>I live in good ol' Polk County... smack dab in the middle of the state


Well wheedeleydeedley-do for you.... ever been to Pahokee?

Why yes sir... I have been to Pahokee

Most people there have one stick in their family tree... and it goes straight up....

. . . and Plant City? i knew I'd remember one day.

What part of Plant City sounds industrial? It is named that becuase it is the strawberry capital of the US....

[freefal 0]

"16) You measure distance in minutes."

That reminds me of a friend from that part of the country who measured distance in "farsees"... Two farsees means "Ya go as far as ya can see, then as far as ya can see again."

"Ignorance is bliss" and "Patience is a virtue"... So if you're stupid and don't mind waiting around for a while, I guess you can have a pretty good life!

[Skydave103 0]

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>I live in good ol' Polk County... smack dab in the middle of the state


Well wheedeleydeedley-do for you.... ever been to Pahokee?

Spent a lot of time in Pahokee! Ghetto doesn't ever begin to describe it. They do 'grow' a bunch of NFL players there. And you get 2 sunsets. one on the lake and the other on the Gulf. Doesn't get much prettier from they air........then you have to land. :(

[SARLDO]

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lol... those are so true.

Missed one: Streets don't need names, only numbers to identify them.

Actually in Miami they have 3 names for the most part.
1-the number
2-the English name
3-Spanish name
Talk about confusing!

LifeshouldNOTbeajourneytothegravewithawellpreservedbody,buttskidinsideways,cigarinone hand,martiniintheother,bodythoroughlyused upandscreaming:"WOO HOO!! What a ride!!!"

[turtlespeed 212]

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>I live in good ol' Polk County... smack dab in the middle of the state


Well wheedeleydeedley-do for you.... ever been to Pahokee?

Spent a lot of time in Pahokee! Ghetto doesn't ever begin to describe it. They do 'grow' a bunch of NFL players there. And you get 2 sunsets. one on the lake and the other on the Gulf. Doesn't get much prettier from they air........then you have to land. :(

[SARLDO]

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lol... those are so true.

Missed one: Streets don't need names, only numbers to identify them.

Actually in Miami they have 3 names for the most part.
1-the number
2-the English name
3-Spanish name
Talk about confusing!

I'm trying to remember what this one street is in Miami, close to little havanah . . . North west 182nd East Avenue South - I think. I mean WTF?

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[Misternatural 0]

>Why yes sir... I have been to Pahokee


I got lost around there once on my way to skydive South Beach at Glades.
HOO Dawgie!-

and i thought the locals up here in VT were funny-Dayam!


Here's an example of the kind of talk you get up here;

"By-jeezus me an Donny seen a noice buck out hind the baarn on our four wheelers.... fucker was LEAST a noine pointer Mr.Johnson, one a them swamp bucks."

Beware of the collateralizing and monetization of your desires.
D S #3.1415

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>Why yes sir... I have been to Pahokee


I got lost around there once on my way to skydive South Beach at Glades.
HOO Dawgie!-

and i thought the locals up here in VT were funny-Dayam!


Here's an example of the kind of talk you get up here;

"By-jeezus me an Donny seen a noice buck out hind the baarn on our four wheelers.... fucker was LEAST a noine pointer Mr.Johnson, one a them swamp bucks."

Wow....I rea that without a hitch....

[RonD1120 58]

*Big Ol Snip*

Spoken like a true Floridan. I am a true Floridan. Came on down here in 1950 with my P's from Ahia.

One more, "He just needed kill'in is claimed to be a justifiable defense."

Look for the shiny things of God revealed by the Holy Spirit. They only last for an instant but it is a Holy Instant. Let your soul absorb them.

[RonD1120 58]

I live in good ol' Polk County... smack dab in the middle of the state... I think this entire county was plucked straight out of Alabama, or maybe Tennessee or possibly even Georgia....

There is a strong rumor that "Bevis and Butthead" was modeled from a trailer park in Polk County.

Polk County was considered to be the meth lab capital of the U.S. in the mid-90's.

Look for the shiny things of God revealed by the Holy Spirit. They only last for an instant but it is a Holy Instant. Let your soul absorb them.

[Misternatural 0]

Like I said we northerners might seem stuffy sometimes- that's just cuz it's damn cold here in the winter, but we don't take our selves too seriously either.... Believe me, we have our share of funny rustic folks here, I blend in cuz I know how to the speak language, wear camo pants sometimes in the supermarket, and keep a crappy truck handy...

Beware of the collateralizing and monetization of your desires.
D S #3.1415

[muff528 3]

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>I live in good ol' Polk County... smack dab in the middle of the state


Well wheedeleydeedley-do for you.... ever been to Pahokee?

Why yes sir... I have been to Pahokee

Most people there have one stick in their family tree... and it goes straight up....

. . . and Plant City? i knew I'd remember one day.

What part of Plant City sounds industrial? It is named that becuase it is the strawberry capital of the US....

Nope! It was named after Henry B. Plant. He was to Florida's west coast what Flagler was to the east coast.

(Edited to remove references more relevant to a different thread)

Tony, Polk County boy.

[turtlespeed 212]

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. . . and Plant City? i knew I'd remember one day.

What part of Plant City sounds industrial? It is named that becuase it is the strawberry capital of the US....

Nope! It was named after Henry B. Plant. He was to Florida's west coast what Flagler was to the east coast.



1st off . . . BWAHAHJAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA - That's funny right there, I don't care who you are!

2nd - i said it REMINDED me of industry - like an industrial plant - or a manufacturing plant . . . not that it was actually named after industry.

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[muff528 3]

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. . . and Plant City? i knew I'd remember one day.

What part of Plant City sounds industrial? It is named that becuase it is the strawberry capital of the US....

Nope! It was named after Henry B. Plant. He was to Florida's west coast what Flagler was to the east coast.



1st off . . . BWAHAHJAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA - That's funny right there, I don't care who you are!

2nd - i said it REMINDED me of industry - like an industrial plant - or a manufacturing plant . . . not that it was actually named after industry.

Plant City IS an industrial town. Like mama says, there's the strawberry industry as well as other crops. There is also the cow industry, the goat industry and the pig industry. (not to mention chickens) The flea market and fruit stand industries are booming. The gang industry has almost caught up with that of Zephyrhills, which is just up the skreet. I first met Ron at Cliff's place in South Lakeland, just across the county line from Plant City. He has already mentioned the trailer park industry in Polk County but Plant City is nurturing growth in that area too. (Zephyrhills has a lot of trailer parks, too, but those are mostly yankees.) Hey, I think I've met Bevis and Butthead! I think they live over in Auburndale.