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fantomas08

Dealing with heartbreak...how do you do it?

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There isn't anyone you think is hot that you always said you'd "do" if the time/circumstances were different? Well, now's the time!! Go for it. The worst that can happen is she'd say no, right?



Sounds like good timing for a "when you gonna let me tap that" text!


+ 1 B|


Just make sure if sending it to more than one person at a time that 2 of the recipients aren't hanging out together... :P
Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting
If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

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Women aren’t stupid. If they like you, they will let you know. Trust me.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SzMrUc6e204&feature=related



I agree with a lot of what he says, except the following:

I don't think women go for nice guys once they lose their market value.. I think women go for nice guys once they can appreciate them. Women don't like jerks.. They like guys who are fun and outgoing - unfortunately, some of those guys break our hearts because they are also jerks.. It can take time to get to know and appreciate a shy guy, whereas a lot of jerks come right out and approach you, make you laugh, show you a good time, etc.. A lot of "nice guys" simply don't go for it, and I think *this* is the reason things often don't pan out.

Just think.. The outgoing guys probably try their charm on *everyone*.. They have a lot of success, but they may only succeed about 5% of the time.. If you're one of the shy ones and you only try once, you might also have a 95% rejection rate, but you wasted it on just one person. Well, it's not a waste if she turns out to be "the one", but you get my drift.

The next thing I don't agree with is that you need to not be nice to a girl if you want to get laid. I think it's less about being mean and more about *trying*. If you don't pursue someone, you're unlikely to get a response.. Yes, sometimes things just seem to happen effortlessly, but that means you *both* made it happen without realising it.

My point is this: if you invest 100% of your emotions on one person and that person doesn't respond, it's time to move on - otherwise you'll just end up getting hurt. In fact, it'll probably be quietly painful the whole time until one day it's obvious that it'll never happen and then it really hurts. No good comes from a one-sided relationship.

Obviously, walking away is easier said than done.. Almost everyone has been there.. Take it one day at a time.
"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse."
- Chris Hadfield
« Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. »
- my boss

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Out of curiousity- if you think people on this site will know you based on this post, will they also know her or her husband? If so, that's a pretty lousy way of letting her know how you feel.

2nd- is she happy? All you talk about is how YOU feel. If you really care about her, shouldn't you be happy for her if she's happy? Or worried for her if you feel like she's made a mistake?

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You know road trips always worked for me.
gas isn't too expensive and the weather is nice...go for a long drive?
Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay.

The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools!

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Given that your relationship never grew beyond friendship, and you still have that, you haven't lost anything more than an opportunity, and not much of one at that (she was with someone else). In other news, you lost a similar opportunity with countless other women who got married or otherwise hitched in the past few months. The bottom line is that you didn't lose anything that you don't lose on a regular basis. Get over it and maybe be a bit more aggressive the next time you see an opportunity.

Blues
Dave
"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!"
(drink Mountain Dew)

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I've been through this recently, although I did tell the person how I felt. The only thing that helped was knowing that someday I would feel the same way about someone else as I did about her, that and Asian hookers ;)

Why would anyone jump out of a perfectly good airplane? Cause the door was open!

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You know road trips always worked for me.
gas isn't too expensive and the weather is nice...go for a long drive?



I think that is a *fantastic* idea :)
"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse."
- Chris Hadfield
« Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. »
- my boss

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. Get over it and maybe be a bit more aggressive the next time you see an opportunity.

+1

I think it's your turn to fly wingman, isn't it?;) Let's get this guy back in the air.B|


Good thought...getting up in the air again would be great. ;)

Nataly, I'm up for a roadtrip. Shall I pick you up on the way? ;)

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. Get over it and maybe be a bit more aggressive the next time you see an opportunity.

+1

I think it's your turn to fly wingman, isn't it?;) Let's get this guy back in the air.B|


Good thought...getting up in the air again would be great. ;)

Nataly, I'm up for a roadtrip. Shall I pick you up on the way? ;)



:o:$:$ See - that's the kind of outgoingness that will get you noticed!!! Let me know if/when you're next in London ;)
"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse."
- Chris Hadfield
« Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. »
- my boss

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. Get over it and maybe be a bit more aggressive the next time you see an opportunity.

+1

I think it's your turn to fly wingman, isn't it?;) Let's get this guy back in the air.B|


Good thought...getting up in the air again would be great. ;)

Nataly, I'm up for a roadtrip. Shall I pick you up on the way? ;)



:o:$:$ See - that's the kind of outgoingness that will get you noticed!!! Let me know if/when you're next in London ;)


I'll hold you....to that. :P

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So we are getting together for coffee later this week to catch up. I'm tempted to tell her to get things off my chest, because it's eatin' me up inside. On one hand, that'd make it easier for me. On the other hand, I am happy as hell for her that she's having a baby, and i wouldn't want anything I say to affect that happiness and/or our friendship.

Fuck...why does this have to be so hard??

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Fuck...why does this have to be so hard??



Who says it does?

You love her. That's easy.

What seems hard is letting the person that you love live happily without you. But what sometimes seems harder is living happily without the person that you love.

But... you do it.

You don't "get over it" nor do you "just move on to the next"... you just live at first... Take one breath and then the next. Watch one sunrise and then another. The days slowly make the pain less raw. You grow and mature. You live.

In months or years... you might still have regrets, but you learn from that and realize just how precious the NOW is. Just how IMPORTANT it is to tell them that you care, to take the risks....

but learning comes later.

Right now... you cry. [:/]

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The point would be you can move on and heal. You will never get to that point unless you face your feelings and get them out in the open. How else are you going to give all of your heart the someone else when the time comes.



even at the risk of altering or ruining our friendship?



Redefine your feelings for her. She doesn't have to be your crush, but your "family" now. You can always be a very big part of her life if you are "like family".
\\>

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