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rivetgeek

Bowling speech

By rivetgeek, in The Bonfire

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airtwardo    6

airtwardo

Way back when...


Skydivers needed a simple way of letting someone know that since they weren't 'one with the universe' they were about to become one with the planet.

After considerable thought and deliberation, they finally figured the one pass time that was the most boring, useless, stupid... but safe for those 'unable' to fit in with the take all comers sport of skydiving, is where those hapless individuals should be directed.

The thing is, what we use to do is hand the mope a GOLF BALL!

Wouldn't ya know it...the fuckers started playing golf on the to the drop-zone! :S

So, these current times have called for a switch to something ever dumber...bowling.

~if THAT don't work there's always tiddlywinks with man hole covers I guess. :ph34r:


Edited to add: You don't REALLY think all those bowling balls in the packing room are there for weight do ya?! ;)



~they're there for WAIT! >:(











~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

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billvon    2,396

billvon
>Where did the "bowling speech" originate?

I think it's just a nice way of saying "we gotta tell that guy he's not competent enough to skydive." It doesn't sound as mean.

I've only given it a few times, once to a guy who was either physically or mentally incapable of doing things like checking over his shoulder. Even when you told him to do it and demonstrated it.

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airtwardo    6

airtwardo
Quote

Thanks that's exactly what i was looking for. So out of curiosity who here has any bowling speech stories? What sort of thing qualifies one as too stupid to fall down?




Well...I went out to dinner with FutureDivot quite some time ago...he hasn't jumped since! :)

I wouldn't say Shane is to stupid to fall down....I mean he DID choose FUTUREDIVOT as his name here! :ph34r:










~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

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keithbar    1

keithbar

I got the " bowling speech " when on student status. back in the early 80's but i also used up the alphabet on static lines so i richly deserved it. but the same cute litte chick who delivered it to me was also my 1st rw pin and 1st kiss pass on the same jump. so it was all good in the end.:)

i have on occasion been accused of pulling low . My response. Naw I wasn't low I'm just such a big guy I look closer than I really am .


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keithbar    1

keithbar
Quote

.. something ever dumber...bowling.
___________________________

I have my own ball. It's purple. :)
:P:D

I also have my own ball it's not purple. but i use it all the time. as a packing weight:P
i have on occasion been accused of pulling low . My response. Naw I wasn't low I'm just such a big guy I look closer than I really am .


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vskydiver    0

vskydiver
Quote

Playing basketball with some coworkers once, some of whom had college scholarships in the sport. One remarked after I missed another jump shot "Well now I know why you skydive. At least you can hit the ground.":$:D



They were just jealous of you sweetie. I happen to know that you are good at everything. ;):$:D

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JohnDeere    0

JohnDeere
Quote

.. something ever dumber...bowling.
___________________________

Bowling isn't dumb. It's fun! I have my own ball. It's purple. :)
:P:D



So you got the bowling speech..... started bowling, then kept jumping? :oThe point of the speech is to get you to quit jumping:P
Nothing opens like a Deere!

You ignorant fool! Checks are for workers!

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Niki1    1

Niki1
Quote

since they weren't 'one with the universe' they were about to become one with the planet.


:DAwesome poetry.:D




Yeah, what he said. Very Zen. That turned my tickle box over.:)
My experience with the "others". When I gave a 1st jump course, some where in the conversttion I would ask the student if they had ever been in a car accident maybe their greatest athletic moment. Some could describe the events of a few seconds with a 15 minute explanation. Some would say, "I looked up and the car was comming at me and then, bam it hit me." Some people experience time expantion and some experience time compression. The compression crowd mostly went away after a few jumps and not being able to relate much of what they had done.

When USPA started to "Mainstram" skydiving in the 80s, a lot of people who should have been bowlers came to the DZ. I guess the added influx of people and money was needed to expand the sport (and industry) but we wound up with a lot of people who think, "Green light, go. Pull when the buzzer goes off and it's handle #1, handle #2 and handle #3 and that's all there is to it."
Most of the things worth doing in the world had been declared impossilbe before they were done.
Louis D Brandeis

Where are we going and why are we in this basket?

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airtwardo    6

airtwardo

My experience with the "others". When I gave a 1st jump course, some where in the conversation I would ask the student if they had ever been in a car accident maybe their greatest athletic moment. Some could describe the events of a few seconds with a 15 minute explanation. Some would say, "I looked up and the car was coming at me and then, bam it hit me." Some people experience time expansion and some experience time compression. The compression crowd mostly went away after a few jumps and not being able to relate much of what they had done.






Now that's an interesting observation.

I'd never asked that particular question during a FJC that I was teaching, usually more general 'tell me about yourself' stuff...

But there was definitely a correlation between how some described themselves and how they progressed.

One thing that I noticed was those that 'thought' they would do well in the sport had a 50-50 shot.....those that 'knew' they could do it, always did! B|










~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

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livendive    8

livendive
Quote


Skydivers needed a simple way of letting someone know that since they weren't 'one with the universe' they were about to become one with the planet.



I think my school just got a new slogan..."Become one with the air, or one with the planet: your choice" :D:D:D

Blues,
Dave
"I AM A PROFESSIONAL EXTREME ATHLETE!"
(drink Mountain Dew)

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airtwardo    6

airtwardo
Quote

Quote


Skydivers needed a simple way of letting someone know that since they weren't 'one with the universe' they were about to become one with the planet.



I think my school just got a new slogan..."Become one with the air, or one with the planet: your choice" :D:D:D



Blues,
Dave







"We encourage you to leave your mark on the world...just don't do it here!" ;)










~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

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turtlespeed    212

turtlespeed
Quote

Quote

Thanks that's exactly what i was looking for. So out of curiosity who here has any bowling speech stories? What sort of thing qualifies one as too stupid to fall down?




Well...I went out to dinner with FutureDivot quite some time ago...he hasn't jumped since! :)

I wouldn't say Shane is to stupid to fall down....I mean he DID choose FUTUREDIVOT as his name here! :ph34r:


Well - I have never seen him fall down exactly . . . and I always though his name came from when he was shagging tandems, and the trail he left when he had to run for them.[:/]
I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

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turtlespeed    212

turtlespeed
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Quote

"We encourage you to leave your mark on the world...just don't do it here!"



:D:D:D


Don


HEY! Skydivers make a bigger impact in their community!
I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

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