shah269 0 #1 October 1, 2009 http://www.iranian.com/main/2009/sep/what-women-dont-want I was at a party when I was rushed to the roof of the building to save this beautiful Iranian woman who wanted to jump because another lady in the party was wearing the same exact dress as her. "Don't jump!" I screamed as I finished my beer and hid the empty bottle behind the air conditioner as you're supposed to. "Give me one good reason," she said as she gave me a sad, distraught look. "Look, I didn't think there would be a quiz when I was volunteered to come up here to play suicide prevention or else I would have studied. I can't think of a good reason. Can I give you 2 bad reasons instead?" "Life is meaningless now," she looked somberly away again. "I have to do this." "But, why?" I looked at my watch wondering if dinner was being served yet. "You just don't understand," she shook her head from side to side. She had nice earrings. "But don't you see??? I want to understand." I shook my head from side to side. I didn't have nice earrings. "I can't teach you stuff you wouldn't understand." She had a point. "Is that a movie line, Jennifer?” I didn’t have a point. "Jennifer?" She looked puzzled. "Who's Jennifer? This is Javaher. I think you're on the wrong rooftop." "My bad. I have a problem with names. But I still want to understand." "How can you understand???? You're a man." "So I'm not perfect. But enough about me, let's talk about your jump. Think of your family. Have you written a will? Have you taken care of all your bills? Have you paid the bill for the will? Did you make the funeral arrangements ahead of time? Do you know what it costs these days to arrange a basic funeral?" "I hate you." She had nice legs. I wondered if they were serving leg of lamb downstairs. "What did I do? I just got here and we don't know each other. I don't believe I have had a chance to prove myself worthless yet." "It doesn't matter... I hate you anyway because you're a man... Men would never understand anything they're supposed to.” "Like the dress thing?" "Dammit, there are so many other examples... Such as, do you ever appreciate what it takes to look like this, all perfect and ready for the cover of Vogue? Do you think it just happens?" "I suspect there is a lot of hard work involved... I assume there is a large supporting cast, that more than one can of hair spray is used up, that everything had to be planned a year in advance, such as you bought those shoes on January 2nd and built that whole outfit around it over the next few months and so it upsets you that another woman wore the same thing and blew all your hard work." "That's actually not bad. Are you one of those guys who make it a career out of learning what women want so they can get into their pants?" "I don't want women's pants. I got my own pants. But I got a beef with you women. You say guys are skirt-chasers, but then you accuse them of wanting into your pants. It makes no sense. You were wearing a skirt a minute ago. When did the pants get into the picture? Do you take off the skirt and put on the pants and then accuse the guy of trying to get into them?" "You're losing me. Look, this is not about you. This is about me. Because, let's face it, who's really jumping, you or me?" "I see your point." I wondered if I was missing the dessert now. "Then be quiet and let me rant. So are you one of those men who were given a book on reading women's minds as a back-handed present by the woman of their lives and end up reading the book because there is no other reading material in the bathroom?" "No. I'm one of those men who learn a lot of stuff that they don’t really want to through being with women. Like when they're off to a party, he is all ready and good, waiting over an hour for her in the car while she keeps saying 'I'll be there in a minute' and we both know well that she's still trying on everything in her wardrobe." "There you go ranting again. I think you really need to be up here jumping with me. " "Oh no, I don't want to steal your thunder. Carry on please. I'll just watch. Hey, how about I hook you up with one of my loser friends who have children from both a previous and a future marriage? Would you then come on down so that I'll be a hero for saving you?" "Is he good looking?" "No." "Is he a doctor?" "No." "Is his mom out of his life?" "No." "So…. Why I coming down, again?" "He imports basmati rice and sells it to Costco, wholesale." "Give me a hand, I'm coming down. And move it because they are serving the akbar-mashty downstairs right about now." Now none of you girls are like this right? Show up to the DZ and another girl is wearing the exact same outfit as you. But well.....we wouldn't hold you back from jumping. After all you could just be BASE jumping? Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 34 #2 October 1, 2009 I want my 2 minutes back. "Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
SkyBastard 0 #3 October 1, 2009 i skipped to your reply and only lost a few seconds.Dude #320 "Superstitious" is just a polite way of saying "incredibly fucking stupid". DONK! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tigra 0 #4 October 1, 2009 Why do you keep posting about "women" when all you seem to know or care about are tiny "girls"??? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Harmless 0 #5 October 1, 2009 Sometimes I think you are funny... this is not one of those times."Damn you Gravity, you win again" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
thedude325 0 #6 October 1, 2009 dude....weak... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #7 October 1, 2009 Quote Why do you keep posting about "women" when all you seem to know or care about are tiny "girls"??? And what's wrong with tiny girls? They need loving too you know! Especially when it's cold or when they are naked. And.....how do you know this girl was tiny? What if she was your average size 8ish girl with a great set of legs? Funny the bike guys thought this was funny, especially the part about getting ready.......oh well.Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
tigra 0 #8 October 1, 2009 Do you read? I simply asked why you keep posting things about "women" as if this was an area of expertise for you. You've made it pretty clear you know very little and care even less about women in general. The "joke" was waaaaaaaaaaaaaaayyyy too long to even try to make sense out of. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skydiverbry 0 #9 October 1, 2009 I have a feeling your starting to dig your own grave again so....."Here's your shovel"PS....Watch you don't hurt your other leg diggingBry -------------------------------------------------- Growing old is mandatory.Growing up is optional!! D.S.#13(Dudeist Skdiver) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brains 2 #10 October 1, 2009 Quote Sometimes I think you are funny... this is not one of those times. Best reply yet! Never look down on someone, unless they are going down on you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
d_squared431 0 #11 October 1, 2009 First off, the average size of a woman in the USA is 10-12(medium). I have no idea where you are getting your average ratings from but if you would like I will find a chart and then send it to you...TPM Sister#130ONTIG#1 I love vodka.I love vodka cause it rhymes with Tuaca~LisaH You having a clean thought is like billyvance having a clean post.iluvtofly Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #12 October 1, 2009 Quote I have a feeling your starting to dig your own grave again so....."Here's your shovel"Bry I know I thought it was a funny story, I even included the link from where I got it. Some people are just too serious reading between the liens and accusing me of stuff. Have a laugh have a giggle smile a little. WOW!Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
guppie01 0 #13 October 1, 2009 Quote I have a feeling your starting to dig your own grave again so....."Here's your shovel"PS....Watch you don't hurt your other leg diggingBry awww c`mon Bry - he is entertaining! What else in the bonfire today sparked... g"Let's do something romantic this Saturday... how bout we bust out the restraints?" Raddest Ho this side of Jersey #1 - MISS YOU OMG, is she okay? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skydiverbry 0 #14 October 1, 2009 Didn't say I was not being entertained...just I've learned when the start of the trench digging is happening and this seems to be one of those timesBry -------------------------------------------------- Growing old is mandatory.Growing up is optional!! D.S.#13(Dudeist Skdiver) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #15 October 1, 2009 Quote Didn't say I was not being entertained...just I've learned when the start of the trench digging is happening and this seems to be one of those timesBry Tell me about it! I think I'll let this one go. Way too much projection going on. Automatically assuming the girl was a super skinny girl or something. Or as stated in the story "It doesn't matter... I hate you anyway because you're a man... Men would never understand anything they're supposed to.” Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Brains 2 #16 October 1, 2009 QuoteFirst off, the average size of a woman in the USA is 10-12(medium). I have no idea where you are getting your average ratings from but if you would like I will find a chart and then send it to you... Isn't that # going up every year? I keep hearing that obesity here is on the rise (for both sexes) Around here the average size is probably more like 14-16 (San Antonio, TX) Of course we are constantly one of the fattest cities in the US too, so that throws the average up. Never look down on someone, unless they are going down on you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
d_squared431 0 #17 October 1, 2009 I thought I would also add this since we are talking about the average size of things. nsfw -------->>>>>>>> CLICK ME!! CLICK ME!!TPM Sister#130ONTIG#1 I love vodka.I love vodka cause it rhymes with Tuaca~LisaH You having a clean thought is like billyvance having a clean post.iluvtofly Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skydiverbry 0 #18 October 1, 2009 Oh,thank you so much for the warning before I clicked on your clickyBry -------------------------------------------------- Growing old is mandatory.Growing up is optional!! D.S.#13(Dudeist Skdiver) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
downwardspiral 0 #19 October 1, 2009 Quote Oh,thank you so much for the warning before I clicked on your clickyBry You didn't see that coming? Pun so NOT intended. www.FourWheelerHB.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
d_squared431 0 #20 October 1, 2009 There is a warning there, not like I forgot it or anything.... TPM Sister#130ONTIG#1 I love vodka.I love vodka cause it rhymes with Tuaca~LisaH You having a clean thought is like billyvance having a clean post.iluvtofly Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skydiverbry 0 #21 October 1, 2009 It said Not Safe For Work...it did not say Not Safe For Bryan's EyesNow post some BOOBS,pleaseBry -------------------------------------------------- Growing old is mandatory.Growing up is optional!! D.S.#13(Dudeist Skdiver) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #22 October 1, 2009 Quote Oh,thank you so much for the warning before I clicked on your clickyBry Don't lie you measured your self to make sure you were with in tolerance after reading the entry. Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skydiverbry 0 #23 October 1, 2009 Bry-------------------------------------------------- Growing old is mandatory.Growing up is optional!! D.S.#13(Dudeist Skdiver) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hookitt 0 #24 October 1, 2009 QuoteOK this is too funny! No it is not.My grammar sometimes resembles that of magnetic refrigerator poetry... Ghetto Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #25 October 1, 2009 Quote Now post some BOOBS,pleaseBry http://z.hubpages.com/u/1250177_f520.jpg http://www.bodazey.com/persian_models/bahara_golestani/bahara_12_facebook.jpg http://iranpoliticsclub.net/fashion-models/aylar1/images/Aylar%20Dianati%20Lie%2025_jpg.jpg You ok now brother...i know it was scary! Almost loosing and eye and every thing!Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
