Bolas 5
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Used my hand instead of the plunger to push vegatables down the chute of a commercial electric slicer......20+ stitches and minus 2 fingernails.
Thrown from a horse on the first day of summer vacation, 3rd grade....2 broken wrists.....casts all summer.
Rode the handlebars of my own bike....more stitches.
Rode a snowmobile through a barbed wire fence....lots more stitches and almost lost my head.
Jumped off the porch with a sheet....No broken bones or stitches but my mom seen me and beat my ass.
Rode my Radio Flyer down a mountain side.....Didn't get hurt that time.
I could write a book. If there was something that nobody else would try, I would.
I may be getting old but I got to see all the cool bands.
Me and both my brothers tried to make a swimming pool in the closet.
Bolas 5
QuoteMe and both my brothers tried to make a swimming pool in the closet.
I gotta hear the story behind this.
Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting
If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.
If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.
QuoteQuoteMe and both my brothers tried to make a swimming pool in the closet.
I gotta hear the story behind this.
he needs to explain how you tried to do that...
TPM Sister#130ONTIG#1
I love vodka.I love vodka cause it rhymes with Tuaca~LisaH
You having a clean thought is like billyvance having a clean post.iluvtofly
I love vodka.I love vodka cause it rhymes with Tuaca~LisaH
You having a clean thought is like billyvance having a clean post.iluvtofly
QuoteQuoteQuoteMe and both my brothers tried to make a swimming pool in the closet.
I gotta hear the story behind this.
he needs to explain how you tried to do that...
It's pretty simple really, yet ingenious. We took an old mylar balloon and filled it with water and took it to the closet in one of our rooms and dumped the water on the carpet. We kept repeating this till my parents figured out what we were doing.
Edit: For the record it was a great idea at the time. and the closet was ideal because it had sliding doors to hold all the water in once the level got high enough.
Tested to see if my brother's newly sharpened Swiss army knife was sharp...with my thumb.
Jumped off a diving board and with the intent of grabbing the side of the pool. Chin + Concrete = Stitches (and this was the day after I had stitches taken out of my hand). Luckily I didn't have my tongue between my teeth.
And like every kid from MN, ripping my tongue off a metal pole in the middle of winter (not sure what is the stupid part: putting my tongue on it in the first place, or ripping it off).
Jumped off a diving board and with the intent of grabbing the side of the pool. Chin + Concrete = Stitches (and this was the day after I had stitches taken out of my hand). Luckily I didn't have my tongue between my teeth.
And like every kid from MN, ripping my tongue off a metal pole in the middle of winter (not sure what is the stupid part: putting my tongue on it in the first place, or ripping it off).
BillyVance 34
Ah, yes, speaking of knives... I used to have a knife collection as a teen. All kinds, switchblades, butterflies, swiss army, throwing knives, etc... for some dumb ass reason that I can't remember, I started trying to cut a tennis ball in half with a knife. I held the ball in my left hand and the knife in my right hand. Here's where the STUPID part comes in. I started pushing the knife TOWARDS my thumb.... smart, huh? It slipped and sliced through the last joint before the nail, right down to the bone. "ACK FUCK!" was all I could say as I gripped my thumb with the right hand in an effort to stop the spurting. 
I SHOULD have gotten stitches for that, but I was afraid to tell my parents for fear they'd take my knives away, so I locked my thumb fully extended and bandaged the cut, and let it heal that way. Now, when I put my two thumbs together, the right one has one unbroken fold or crease straight across the joint. The left one has two offsetting half lines. I didn't regain the feeling in the last part of that thumb (with the nail) for probably 3 or 4 months.
Now I remember another stupid thing I did as a kid with knives. It was a boy scout camping trip. Me and a friend were alone in a cabin, and we thought it'd be cool to act out a knife-armed vs un-armed fight. He had the knife. So he's holding the knife up high and I'm holding his wrist while he's trying to push down.
All I had to do was tell him, okay let's stop. But nooo.... I let go of his arm while he was still pushing down and it surprised him. The knife sliced off 1/4 of my thumb tip, nail included.
Boy did the den leader have a field day with that one.
"Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban
mnealtx 0
QuoteI took it downstairs to the basement, set up scrap wood against the concrete block walls and had my own firing range.
Well, NOW we know why you're deaf!!!
Mike
I love you, Shannon and Jim.
POPS 9708 , SCR 14706
I love you, Shannon and Jim.
POPS 9708 , SCR 14706
kbordson 8
Seems macabre but somehow fitting to resurrect this thread with the new reports on the lil 6 year old that might have made some not so well thought out decisions without appropriate (or any) supervision (NOTE: this does not mean that I am laughing at the young boy, Falcon... just noting that we've ALL done stupid shit... but get away with it most of the time...)
As I hadn't added to this thread previously:
6 years old - missed my bus and had to walked home from school 4 miles AND accepted a ride from a stranger. (wasn't really that "dangerous"... just got me in a LOT of trouble)
16 years old - 2 week vacation where I drove down to Florida with a girlfriend of mine... and made it back home with 2 cents and a bag of fortune cookies in the car. No credit cards, No checkbook, Slept in the car most nights, otherwise in the barracks of guys that I didn't know (but she did)
As I hadn't added to this thread previously:
6 years old - missed my bus and had to walked home from school 4 miles AND accepted a ride from a stranger. (wasn't really that "dangerous"... just got me in a LOT of trouble)
16 years old - 2 week vacation where I drove down to Florida with a girlfriend of mine... and made it back home with 2 cents and a bag of fortune cookies in the car. No credit cards, No checkbook, Slept in the car most nights, otherwise in the barracks of guys that I didn't know (but she did)
mutumbo 0
oh hell. . . heres a SHORT list, lol
like jumping out of the bed of a truck doing 45. . .
falling 20 feet out/ through many a tree. . .
sprinting through the woods in the pitch black, completely shitfaced and knocking myself out on a low limb. . .
taking out a mailbox while being drug behind a car on a sled one winter. . .
pissing on an electric fence. . .
trying to ride an unbroken horse by jumping off a fence onto its back . .
doing the same thing as above to a 2500lb cow. .
standing on the hood of a car while they slam on the brakes while doing 35 to see how far you fly. . .
trying to 360 transfer from a spine ramp to a kicker when you havnt skated in 2 years?
the time we decided it was a good idea to put it next to the roof and try to jump off the 2nd story and into the pool.
or the time we mixed inline skates and a trampoline. . .
or the time we decided to put it in the shallow end of the pool. . .
or the time i jumped off the pool pumphouse one night and did a 1 and a half frontflip into the deep end of the pool over a 10 foot wide concrete pool deck
speaking of pools, that dosent begin to take into the diving board antics. . . (MUCH longer story, have been a lifeguard for 7 years)
im only 23 and thats just what i can rember off the top of my head.
and ive YET TO BREAK A BONE. :D
like jumping out of the bed of a truck doing 45. . .
falling 20 feet out/ through many a tree. . .
sprinting through the woods in the pitch black, completely shitfaced and knocking myself out on a low limb. . .
taking out a mailbox while being drug behind a car on a sled one winter. . .
pissing on an electric fence. . .
trying to ride an unbroken horse by jumping off a fence onto its back . .
doing the same thing as above to a 2500lb cow. .
standing on the hood of a car while they slam on the brakes while doing 35 to see how far you fly. . .
trying to 360 transfer from a spine ramp to a kicker when you havnt skated in 2 years?
the time we decided it was a good idea to put it next to the roof and try to jump off the 2nd story and into the pool.
or the time we mixed inline skates and a trampoline. . .
or the time we decided to put it in the shallow end of the pool. . .
or the time i jumped off the pool pumphouse one night and did a 1 and a half frontflip into the deep end of the pool over a 10 foot wide concrete pool deck
speaking of pools, that dosent begin to take into the diving board antics. . . (MUCH longer story, have been a lifeguard for 7 years)
im only 23 and thats just what i can rember off the top of my head.
and ive YET TO BREAK A BONE. :D
Thanatos340(on landing rounds)--
Landing procedure: Hand all the way up, Feet and Knees Together and PLF soon as you get bitch slapped by a planet.
Landing procedure: Hand all the way up, Feet and Knees Together and PLF soon as you get bitch slapped by a planet.
shah269 0
I was a terrorist!
1) I crashed a motorcycle indoors when I was 6.
2) Disassembled a full up movie house projector when I was 7.
And other things
1) I crashed a motorcycle indoors when I was 6.
2) Disassembled a full up movie house projector when I was 7.
And other things
Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay.
The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools!
The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools!
mutumbo 0
i jumped out of a plane. 
Thanatos340(on landing rounds)--
Landing procedure: Hand all the way up, Feet and Knees Together and PLF soon as you get bitch slapped by a planet.
Landing procedure: Hand all the way up, Feet and Knees Together and PLF soon as you get bitch slapped by a planet.
airdvr 197
After seeing the sword swallowers at the circus I proceeded to take the rubber ends off my sister's baton. Did pretty good...onnly a small slice in my esphogaus (sp).
Tried lighting a fire in the fireplace with a mayo jar about 1/4 full of gas. Damn near burned the house down.
I could go on...
Tried lighting a fire in the fireplace with a mayo jar about 1/4 full of gas. Damn near burned the house down.
I could go on...
Please don't dent the planet.
Destinations by Roxanne
Destinations by Roxanne
Thought it would be a good idea to start yanking on the chains of an antique Grandfather clock, damn thing never worked again.
Brother and I went at a public picnic table with a crowbar, in the middle of our apartment complex in germany, in the middle of the day.
Hiding along a two lane highway in the middle of the night, throwing rocks at the side of passing semi's to see the sparks, threw a rock through an open car window by mistake and struck the driver in the side of the head. Spent the night hiding from the drivers family with dogs and shotguns.
Hanging on the outside of the merry go round while several friends spin it as fast as they can. (You can imagine the outcome, and the stiches) ![[:/]](/uploads/emoticons/dry.png "[:/]"){kind=small}
What you say is reflective of your knowledge...HOW ya say it is reflective of your experience. Airtwardo
Someone's going to be spanked! Hopefully, it will be me. Skymama
Someone's going to be spanked! Hopefully, it will be me. Skymama
caress 0
tried to make a catapult. The only thing I catapulted was a brick to the top of my head- that hurt.
fell out of a tree and caught the last branch with my feet hanging upsidedown over the bricks and cement- thought that was pretty awesome considering I was in black church shoes while climbing the tree.
tried to go off of a jump on my crusty ol schwinn- got a banana seat right in the kooch- That hurt
tried to swing like tarzan from a tree branch- it broke and I think my tail bone did too!
tried to get me a scooby snack at age 3 from a dobermans food bowl and the dog bit me in the mouth- got plastic surgery for that one.
Thought that I was too cool for calling a kid chuckie fuckie in kindergarten marched home and told my parents. my dad being a christian man backhanded me so hard I saw stars. Wow what a great lesson for me I still talk like a sailor!
Just a few of the ol juicy ones!-Caress
I've learned.... That being kind is more important than being
right.
right.
when the folks said "don't go into the burned up house" I went into immediately. When I left it, I had to jump off of a porch that was about 3 feet high. Back steps had been burned up. When I jumped off I didn't look, and landed on a board with a 16 penny nail sticking out of it. Right thru my foot, ball of my toe. GEEZ that hurt!
PLFXpert 0
Quote6 years old - missed my bus and had to walked home from school 4 miles AND accepted a ride from a stranger
I used to ride my bicycle to the local bagel shop every weekend for a fresh dozen.
I was riding back and a car pulled into my elementary-school parking lot and opened the car door--person inside calling for me to come.
I rode my bike as fast as I could all the way home.
As soon as I arrived, my father asked if I had been approached by someone...
He had received a phone call from my first-grade teacher whose car-window did not work, thus she opened the door to say hello.
Paint me in a corner, but my color comes back.
kj126 0
Lets see,
Use to take VHS tape an string across the highway at night so when the cars headlights hit it,looked like a steel cable, was funny watching them scretch to a halt.
Pulled a skidder tire from a logging site with my 4x4 an a 20ft chain taking out everything along the highway.
me and a buddy bought a VW bug out of town of course the drove it down town and flipped it in the middle of main street and just bailed leaving the car there.
threw my sister off the hood of the car as she was trying to stop me from driving when i was 13.
Still drove the car to school until i got busted then just parked at the grocery store across the street from the school
Got a ticket for overweight vehicle and no licences when i was 14, had 9 people in an escort, dad actually thought it was funny.
almost burnt the house down playing with gas and fire.
and a few others that id rather not mention, damn i was an evil mother f*&^er.
Use to take VHS tape an string across the highway at night so when the cars headlights hit it,looked like a steel cable, was funny watching them scretch to a halt.
Pulled a skidder tire from a logging site with my 4x4 an a 20ft chain taking out everything along the highway.
me and a buddy bought a VW bug out of town of course the drove it down town and flipped it in the middle of main street and just bailed leaving the car there.
threw my sister off the hood of the car as she was trying to stop me from driving when i was 13.
Still drove the car to school until i got busted then just parked at the grocery store across the street from the school
Got a ticket for overweight vehicle and no licences when i was 14, had 9 people in an escort, dad actually thought it was funny.
almost burnt the house down playing with gas and fire.
and a few others that id rather not mention, damn i was an evil mother f*&^er.
I Am Sofa King We Todd Did!!
LisaH 0
Two things come to mind.
Thinking I could keep black widow spiders as pets.
Sitting in a hot dog house for hours until I passed out because somebody told me I could sweat my freckles away. 
Be yourself!
MooOOooOoo
MooOOooOoo
GaryRay 0
i got a button stuck up my nose when i was little, like 22 :P
JewBag.
www.jewbag.wordpress.com
www.jewbag.wordpress.com
Had a tantrum over having to take a bath and busted two teeth on the tub.
Kept threatening to run away. My parents said "You leave the same way you came." Dared them to on an extremely cold night. Stripped me naked and started to set me down on the cold steps outside after turning off the lights. I practically climbed up my mom to get back inside.
Tripped climbing front steps to house and gashed open my knee. Had to get stitches.
Had just gotten the stitches out when my family was playing tennis. My knee hadn't healed so they wouldn't let me play. Was running around with the sweep broom and tripped and fell on the court. Another trip to the doctor but don't think I needed stitches.
Jumped off climber at school, didn't know how to PLF so broke two metatarsal bones in my foot. Stupid teacher made me ride the bus home even though I couldn't walk. Bus driver dropped me off at the end of my driveway and I just screamed for mom. Mom ripped flesh off that teacher the next day.
Had a friend run over my foot on his bike, broke toe.
Stupid car tricks in a Butterscotch '82 Chevette Scooter.
Tried to "drift" around a gravel turn and slid straight into the curb bending a rim.
Offroading and getting stuck on private property.
Trying to go around a big flatbed truck in parking lot and going under part of it, pushing down the right side roof a little bit.
Being mad when I thought I didn't get into the college I wanted and kicking out one of the taillights.
My mods:
* Added a Turbo sticker on the back
* Added Mustang 5.0 badges on the front fenders with Special Edition stickers underneath.
* Installed an old house phone on the dash which I rearranged the numbers on. (called it a Dyslexic Car Phone)
* Installed those oh so cool white double wiper kits, with white wiper booties, and white wind deflector kits.
* Painted the bumpers white.
Had a guy in a Corvette one time pull up next to me at a light and ask, "Hey man, what do you got under that hood?"
I replied, "Something special."
He said he wanted to race so I said sure. When the light went green we both stomped our accelerators.
His engine roared, his tires started spinning, and when they caught he was off like a shot.
My engine promptly stalled.
That car did get me and the five friends in it away from the cops one night when jumping the bus ramp at school. Of course it helped that we had already spun around before he had even dropped his coffee and doughnut he was previously enjoying while sitting on the hood.
If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.
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