shah269 0 #1 December 19, 2009 These are three conversations I've had in the last few weeks. Before you read on please ladies I implore you i beg of you don't be like this. If you find your self acting this way STOP! 1) Don't even know how or why it started. But while on the phone with one of my friends the conversation turned to porn. 45 min of her arguing it was a "bad influence" on sexuality. And no one could do that......and it was bad. And I arguing no, 'Vivid makes some great porn which isn't degrading nor over the top like some of those odd ones where there aer 15 guys and one girl'.....so then, me being a master mind and a superb observer, i ask....."when was the last time you've seen a porno movie?" Dead silence! Ah ha! I may be slow but woman I gotz you by the titties now! "Well?" Dead silence....then a stumble on to the same argument.... "Well?" Her "never" Me "So you spent 45 min of my time arguing about something you know next to nothing about?" Her "I had a gut feeling!" Me "45 minutes over a gut feeling? A GUT FEELING?" Her "Yeah" (she had no intention of admitting fault, Shah theory #1 women will never admit fault ) Me "Your getting a porno for Xmas!" Her "OH" (note lack of argument! proving every one really does actually either want to watch porn or likes porn) Me "then you'll have something to argue about!" => I sent her a porno for Xmas! 2) You know I would love to know what goes on inside a womans brain. Maybe to see the logic diagram to see what out of this world logic is used to justify their nutty expectations. I have a friend, she's what one would call.....well let's just say she wears the pants in the house. Deep down she's as insecure as a fat chick in a sea or super models but instead of being civil she has gone for the offensive approach. She's married....for now....to a rather quiet guy. An only son and more or less a mamas boy. The ying and the yang. She's upset, in fact she is pissed. He's not passionate enough, he's not proactive enough he's not....he doesn't talk much. So I ask her, then who does all the talking? Her "me" Who tells him what to do and when to do it? Her "me" Have you considered shutting the hell up and giving the man a chance for his balls to descend? Her "no" Why I ask Her "then it would be quiet and nothing would get done." Maybe if you give the man a little breathing room and some empowerment he would talk? Her "That's preposterous!" And the loving Her "Horrible! He doesn't woo me enough to get me in the mood!" And what is "enough" Her "5 days of text messages from work telling me how sexy I look!" So you tell him what to do, you do all the talking and you wonder why he isn't wooing you for 5 days for 15min of loving? Her "Yes! What is wrong with you men!" Have you considered therapy? Her "no your crazy!" =>she got a pair of leather hand cuffs for xmas 3) I had a good one last week in Yoga class. Class starts at 6 but I'm there by 5:50 setting up my mat and talking to the ladies. Conversation turns to buying kinky items for xmass. me "Yeah it's always good to get something different." her "Yeah I agree, it's good to mix things up." me "And I have to support my hero Heff, what a man, what a life...." her "Heff? me "You know, Heff the creator of playboy, the guy who is now dating three girls who's combined ages are less than his! You know HEFF!" her "Oh he's not doing anything with those girls!" me "HU!" her "Oh he's not doing anything with those girls." me "HU!" her "Oh he's..." me "No i got you, but HU? You think they are having a tickle contest every night or something?" her "Oh he's...." me "You really don't get a guys sex drive do you?" her "Oh he's...." me "wow.....ok! Look class starts!" Heff is banging those girls like a storm door in a category 5 hurricane! And I assure you it's not just BJ's and missionary! Knowing that guy and having watched the show girls next door and seen what's in his bed room...that man is one kinky ass boy! and he's my hero! in my next life I want to be his left nut! This was a pubic service announcement. Ladies, only can prevent your partner form offing themselves due to brain damage caused by trying to understand you!Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gawain 0 #2 December 19, 2009 "HU" ?? I know I'm behind the times, but wha...??So I try and I scream and I beg and I sigh Just to prove I'm alive, and it's alright 'Cause tonight there's a way I'll make light of my treacherous life Make light! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Jbag 0 #3 December 19, 2009 you record all your conversations or your memory just that good?IHYD Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TrophyHusband 0 #4 December 19, 2009 1) porn is not everyone's cup of tea, in fact many women find it down right offensive and degrading. 2) i know several women that work in the field of women's health care. they unanimously agree that fully 50% of women are bat shit nuts. 3) a. women do not understand a man's sex drive. they are not wired like us. b. you actually watch girls next door? i agree hef is the man, but there's just too much stupid to overcome the hotties for me to get through an entire episode. "Your scrotum is quite nice" - Skymama www.kjandmegan.com Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
xtravrtsoul 0 #5 December 19, 2009 Quote1) porn is not everyone's cup of tea, in fact many women find it down right offensive and degrading. 2) i know several women that work in the field of women's health care. they unanimously agree that fully 50% of women are bat shit nuts. reply] I hate to burst your bubble but you would be shocked at the statistics of women who watch porn especially on the internet. They just as bad of culprits as men, they just watch a different type of porn. And yes, I am a hairstylist and I will say this......Women are nuts!!!!!!! Shit we can't even figure each other out.You create life, life does not create you. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites shah269 0 #6 December 20, 2009 Quote b. you actually watch girls next door? i agree hef is the man, but there's just too much stupid to overcome the hotties for me to get through an entire episode. Yes.....some one hug me....we all have our deep dark secrets and well....I watch The Girls Next Door. But it's because I want to know what my hero Heff is up to. Any accidental niplige or cleavage I see are just extra. xtravrtsoul Really? You've had these conversations? I mean ok, yeah porn isn't some ones cup of tea but...how can one make a valid argument about something they haven't even been exposed to. That's like me, a man, arguing that one brand of bra's are better than the other....WTF? HU...sound made when dudes are confused as in HU.Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites DavidB 0 #7 December 20, 2009 Just add another "H" at the end & everyone will know what you mean. HUH?!? When the only tool you have is a hammer, every problem looks like a nail. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites LisaH 0 #8 December 20, 2009 Quote Just add another "H" at the end & everyone will know what you mean. HUH?!? Thank you.Be yourself! MooOOooOoo Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites shah269 0 #9 December 20, 2009 Quote Just add another "H" at the end & everyone will know what you mean. HUH?!? Of every thing written above....this is your issue? An H? sure what ever next time I'll slap an H in there to make you feel better.Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites muff528 3 #10 December 20, 2009 Quote Just add another "H" at the end & everyone will know what you mean. HUH?!? Also, I think yin is spelled "y i n"....not "y i n g", as in the eastern concept of the yin and the yang. A "ying-yang" is a synonym for "kazoo". Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites shah269 0 #11 December 20, 2009 WOW...i just hit one nerve after another. I bet you could give me a half a bottle of tequila, blind fold me, spin me around at least 5 dozen times, give me a dart to throw at a wall with a random assortment of phrases and I would still hit one that would hit the spot. Tell me ladies you haven't done this crap. Oh lord tell me you haven't! And here I thought, from reading your posts, that you ladies were at least an order of magnitude above these girls! Clear and coherent....but I have this funny feeling....that a few of you are quilt of such insanity.Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites muff528 3 #12 December 20, 2009 QuoteWOW...i just hit one nerve after another....... Actually I stopped reading when I got to the "yin-yang" error. I was hoping you were re-opening your great advice column. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites shah269 0 #13 December 20, 2009 Quote Actually I stopped reading when I got to the "yin-yang" error. I was hoping you were re-opening your great advice column. If all one does is focus on the pebbles on the road they will never enjoy the journey.Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites muff528 3 #14 December 20, 2009 QuoteQuote Actually I stopped reading when I got to the "yin-yang" error. I was hoping you were re-opening your great advice column. If all one does is focus on the pebbles on the road they will never enjoy the journey. If a frog had wings he wouldn't bump his ass every time he hopped. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites shah269 0 #15 December 20, 2009 QuoteQuoteQuote Actually I stopped reading when I got to the "yin-yang" error. I was hoping you were re-opening your great advice column. If all one does is focus on the pebbles on the road they will never enjoy the journey. If a frog had wings he wouldn't bump his ass every time he hopped. I hit a nerve. Ok which one of these three is you! Come on say it? The porn? The bossy wife or the out of touch one who thinks Heff has tickle fights.Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites muff528 3 #16 December 20, 2009 QuoteQuoteQuoteQuote Actually I stopped reading when I got to the "yin-yang" error. I was hoping you were re-opening your great advice column. If all one does is focus on the pebbles on the road they will never enjoy the journey. If a frog had wings he wouldn't bump his ass every time he hopped. I hit a nerve. Ok which one of these three is you! Come on say it? The porn? The bossy wife or the out of touch one who thinks Heff has tickle fights. OK, I spent 5 minutes laboriously reading your whole post so I would know wtf you were talking about or what your point is.......I still don't know. I want my 5 minutes back. (at my age I hate wasting them) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Shell666 0 #17 December 20, 2009 1. You relaying conversations with your "friends" on here means you can't be trusted. 2. Saying you're only watching Girls Next Door to see what Heff is up to is BS. 3. Yes, women can be crazy. So can men (see above for original post as proof).'Shell Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites happythoughts 0 #18 December 20, 2009 What crap. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites k-dubjumps 0 #19 December 20, 2009 Quote 1) porn is not everyone's cup of tea, in fact many women find it down right offensive and degrading. 2) i know several women that work in the field of women's health care. they unanimously agree that fully 50% of women are bat shit nuts. 3) a. women do not understand a man's sex drive. they are not wired like us. b. you actually watch girls next door? i agree hef is the man, but there's just too much stupid to overcome the hotties for me to get through an entire episode. Seriously? You're surprised that Shah watches the girls next door? Adrenaline is my crack DPH #3 D.S. #16 FAG #12 Muff Brother #4406 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites hcsvader 1 #20 December 20, 2009 Hey shah, 1: women dont want to be portrayed or treated like sluts (even tho they may be) 2: you need to let them women think they are in charge! (even tho they are not) 3: hugh is fucking scum of the earth trailer trash sluts, any girl who thinks she is going to make in life based on her looks is a useless waste of groceries. You go ahead and feed em, I sure as hell aint gonna.Have you seen my pants? it"s a rough life, Livin' the dream >:) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites popsjumper 2 #21 December 20, 2009 Quote1: women dont want to be portrayed or treated like sluts (even tho they may be) 2: you need to let them women think they are in charge! (even tho they are not) 3: hugh is fucking scum of the earth trailer trash sluts, any girl who thinks she is going to make in life based on her looks is a useless waste of groceries. You're young. One of these days you'll stumble onto the reality of life.My reality and yours are quite different. I think we're all Bozos on this bus. Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites popsjumper 2 #22 December 20, 2009 I read you loud and clear. Too bad the message is being lost on those focusing on gender instead. Maybe if you exchanged the HERs for HIMs the message would get through. I dunno. GO HEF! You ROCK, dude! Somewhere along the line maybe I got lost. I always thought women (and men) could "make it" using whatever tools they choose to use. I called it freedom to be oneself.My reality and yours are quite different. I think we're all Bozos on this bus. Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites shah269 0 #23 December 20, 2009 Quote Seriously? You're surprised that Shah watches the girls next door? I also read GQ and Cosmo, but yeah...Hef is the man! He's single handedly changed the world for the better! He's taken on the nut job conservatives and not only out lived them and out earned them.....but brother he did it in style! http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2007/03_02/hefnerG150307_468x544.jpg Now that being said, please please please ladies if you or some you know has ever spoken like my three friends, be it arguing over a hunch, being out right nuts or out of touch with the world. Stop it ok! Please! The world sucks enough no need to add to it ok.Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites georgerussia 0 #24 December 21, 2009 Quote 1) porn is not everyone's cup of tea, in fact many women find it down right offensive and degrading. This statement is the same as "movies are not everyone's cup of tea". There are probably more porn genres than regular movie genres, and some of them (like people eating shit) make even me sick. Some of them, especially old French movies with Brigitte Lahaie, are very good - you can actually watch them like a movie without using "fast forward" on your remove every minute. Quote 2) i know several women that work in the field of women's health care. they unanimously agree that fully 50% of women are bat shit nuts. I'd guess 50% of overall population are bat shit nuts. Quote 3) a. women do not understand a man's sex drive. they are not wired like us. Probably until they're 35 or so. Then the things turn around.* Don't pray for me if you wanna help - just send me a check. * Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites pontiacgtp00 0 #25 December 21, 2009 If it exists, there is a porno of it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites Prev 1 2 Next Page 1 of 2 Join the conversation You can post now and register later. 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shah269 0 #6 December 20, 2009 Quote b. you actually watch girls next door? i agree hef is the man, but there's just too much stupid to overcome the hotties for me to get through an entire episode. Yes.....some one hug me....we all have our deep dark secrets and well....I watch The Girls Next Door. But it's because I want to know what my hero Heff is up to. Any accidental niplige or cleavage I see are just extra. xtravrtsoul Really? You've had these conversations? I mean ok, yeah porn isn't some ones cup of tea but...how can one make a valid argument about something they haven't even been exposed to. That's like me, a man, arguing that one brand of bra's are better than the other....WTF? HU...sound made when dudes are confused as in HU.Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DavidB 0 #7 December 20, 2009 Just add another "H" at the end & everyone will know what you mean. HUH?!? When the only tool you have is a hammer, every problem looks like a nail. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
LisaH 0 #8 December 20, 2009 Quote Just add another "H" at the end & everyone will know what you mean. HUH?!? Thank you.Be yourself! MooOOooOoo Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #9 December 20, 2009 Quote Just add another "H" at the end & everyone will know what you mean. HUH?!? Of every thing written above....this is your issue? An H? sure what ever next time I'll slap an H in there to make you feel better.Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
muff528 3 #10 December 20, 2009 Quote Just add another "H" at the end & everyone will know what you mean. HUH?!? Also, I think yin is spelled "y i n"....not "y i n g", as in the eastern concept of the yin and the yang. A "ying-yang" is a synonym for "kazoo". Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #11 December 20, 2009 WOW...i just hit one nerve after another. I bet you could give me a half a bottle of tequila, blind fold me, spin me around at least 5 dozen times, give me a dart to throw at a wall with a random assortment of phrases and I would still hit one that would hit the spot. Tell me ladies you haven't done this crap. Oh lord tell me you haven't! And here I thought, from reading your posts, that you ladies were at least an order of magnitude above these girls! Clear and coherent....but I have this funny feeling....that a few of you are quilt of such insanity.Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
muff528 3 #12 December 20, 2009 QuoteWOW...i just hit one nerve after another....... Actually I stopped reading when I got to the "yin-yang" error. I was hoping you were re-opening your great advice column. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #13 December 20, 2009 Quote Actually I stopped reading when I got to the "yin-yang" error. I was hoping you were re-opening your great advice column. If all one does is focus on the pebbles on the road they will never enjoy the journey.Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
muff528 3 #14 December 20, 2009 QuoteQuote Actually I stopped reading when I got to the "yin-yang" error. I was hoping you were re-opening your great advice column. If all one does is focus on the pebbles on the road they will never enjoy the journey. If a frog had wings he wouldn't bump his ass every time he hopped. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #15 December 20, 2009 QuoteQuoteQuote Actually I stopped reading when I got to the "yin-yang" error. I was hoping you were re-opening your great advice column. If all one does is focus on the pebbles on the road they will never enjoy the journey. If a frog had wings he wouldn't bump his ass every time he hopped. I hit a nerve. Ok which one of these three is you! Come on say it? The porn? The bossy wife or the out of touch one who thinks Heff has tickle fights.Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
muff528 3 #16 December 20, 2009 QuoteQuoteQuoteQuote Actually I stopped reading when I got to the "yin-yang" error. I was hoping you were re-opening your great advice column. If all one does is focus on the pebbles on the road they will never enjoy the journey. If a frog had wings he wouldn't bump his ass every time he hopped. I hit a nerve. Ok which one of these three is you! Come on say it? The porn? The bossy wife or the out of touch one who thinks Heff has tickle fights. OK, I spent 5 minutes laboriously reading your whole post so I would know wtf you were talking about or what your point is.......I still don't know. I want my 5 minutes back. (at my age I hate wasting them) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Shell666 0 #17 December 20, 2009 1. You relaying conversations with your "friends" on here means you can't be trusted. 2. Saying you're only watching Girls Next Door to see what Heff is up to is BS. 3. Yes, women can be crazy. So can men (see above for original post as proof).'Shell Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #18 December 20, 2009 What crap. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
k-dubjumps 0 #19 December 20, 2009 Quote 1) porn is not everyone's cup of tea, in fact many women find it down right offensive and degrading. 2) i know several women that work in the field of women's health care. they unanimously agree that fully 50% of women are bat shit nuts. 3) a. women do not understand a man's sex drive. they are not wired like us. b. you actually watch girls next door? i agree hef is the man, but there's just too much stupid to overcome the hotties for me to get through an entire episode. Seriously? You're surprised that Shah watches the girls next door? Adrenaline is my crack DPH #3 D.S. #16 FAG #12 Muff Brother #4406 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hcsvader 1 #20 December 20, 2009 Hey shah, 1: women dont want to be portrayed or treated like sluts (even tho they may be) 2: you need to let them women think they are in charge! (even tho they are not) 3: hugh is fucking scum of the earth trailer trash sluts, any girl who thinks she is going to make in life based on her looks is a useless waste of groceries. You go ahead and feed em, I sure as hell aint gonna.Have you seen my pants? it"s a rough life, Livin' the dream >:) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
popsjumper 2 #21 December 20, 2009 Quote1: women dont want to be portrayed or treated like sluts (even tho they may be) 2: you need to let them women think they are in charge! (even tho they are not) 3: hugh is fucking scum of the earth trailer trash sluts, any girl who thinks she is going to make in life based on her looks is a useless waste of groceries. You're young. One of these days you'll stumble onto the reality of life.My reality and yours are quite different. I think we're all Bozos on this bus. Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
popsjumper 2 #22 December 20, 2009 I read you loud and clear. Too bad the message is being lost on those focusing on gender instead. Maybe if you exchanged the HERs for HIMs the message would get through. I dunno. GO HEF! You ROCK, dude! Somewhere along the line maybe I got lost. I always thought women (and men) could "make it" using whatever tools they choose to use. I called it freedom to be oneself.My reality and yours are quite different. I think we're all Bozos on this bus. Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shah269 0 #23 December 20, 2009 Quote Seriously? You're surprised that Shah watches the girls next door? I also read GQ and Cosmo, but yeah...Hef is the man! He's single handedly changed the world for the better! He's taken on the nut job conservatives and not only out lived them and out earned them.....but brother he did it in style! http://img.dailymail.co.uk/i/pix/2007/03_02/hefnerG150307_468x544.jpg Now that being said, please please please ladies if you or some you know has ever spoken like my three friends, be it arguing over a hunch, being out right nuts or out of touch with the world. Stop it ok! Please! The world sucks enough no need to add to it ok.Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay. The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
georgerussia 0 #24 December 21, 2009 Quote 1) porn is not everyone's cup of tea, in fact many women find it down right offensive and degrading. This statement is the same as "movies are not everyone's cup of tea". There are probably more porn genres than regular movie genres, and some of them (like people eating shit) make even me sick. Some of them, especially old French movies with Brigitte Lahaie, are very good - you can actually watch them like a movie without using "fast forward" on your remove every minute. Quote 2) i know several women that work in the field of women's health care. they unanimously agree that fully 50% of women are bat shit nuts. I'd guess 50% of overall population are bat shit nuts. Quote 3) a. women do not understand a man's sex drive. they are not wired like us. Probably until they're 35 or so. Then the things turn around.* Don't pray for me if you wanna help - just send me a check. * Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
pontiacgtp00 0 #25 December 21, 2009 If it exists, there is a porno of it. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
