Things Women Ask Before Having a Baby!

[skyrider 0]

Q: Should I have a baby after 35?
A: No, 35 children is enough for anyone.

Q: I'm two months pregnant now. When will my baby move?
A: With any luck, right after he finishes college.

Q: What is the most reliable method to determine a baby's sex?
A: Childbirth.

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's
borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?

Q: My childbirth instructor says it's not pain I'll feel during labor, but
pressure. Is she right?
A: Yes, in the same way that a tornado might be called an air current.

Q: When is the best time to get an epidural?
A: Right after you find out you're pregnant.

Q: Is there any reason I have to be in the delivery room while my wife is
in labor?
A: Not unless the word "alimony" means anything to you.

Q: Is there anything I should avoid while recovering from childbirth?
A: Yes, pregnancy.

Q: Do I have to have a baby shower?
A: Not if you change the baby's diaper very quickly.

Q: Our baby was born last week. When will my wife begin to feel and act
normal again?
A: When the kids are in college.

[Brains 2]

Just read these to my pregnant wife

I like these questions and answers better than the stuff she has been reading lately

Never look down on someone, unless they are going down on you.

[AggieDave 6]

Quote

Just read these to my pregnant wife

Me too.

She rolled her eyes.

--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline."

[lawrocket 3]

Q: Is sex possible during pregnancy?
A: Yes. The only limitation is that your wife might get mad at you and your partner, so be careful.

My wife is hotter than your wife.

[happythoughts 0]

Quote

Q: My wife is five months pregnant and so moody that sometimes she's
borderline irrational.
A: So what's your question?

During labor, the baby was just not coming.
The dr came in, gently placed one hand on her shoulder
and announced, "I'm going to check you one more time".
She turned her head and tried to bite his hand.

(After a few hours, a pelvimetry finally determined that
it would be C section.)