ACMESkydiver 0 #1 February 22, 2010 I need help here for a couple of socially awkward situations... First, we have gotten to know our mailman pretty well over the past few years. He's a nice guy named Jon, his wife sells her art over the internet, etc. We hadn't seen him in a few weeks so when he delivered a package to our door last week, Joe was asking him how he's been...I guess it turns out her was in a car accident. Hit by a drunk driver, and his 3 month old baby son was with him. His son died. News story Jayden's obituary And then another occasion...this one is all my fault. I have a girlfriend that is a professional hairdresser that does my hair. It is not cheap. I have booked appointments with her, 3 that I know for sure, that I have COMPLETELY missed. Just had the time off by two hours (how in the hell can I do that?!? Why am I thinking 2pm when it was 12 pm?!?) or completely spaced off the appointment altogether...I did it again on Saturday (3rd time) . I am SO embarrassed. I am not THIS flakey usually. I have no idea what in the hell is wrong with me when it comes to her appointments!! She left a long voicemail on my cell, and as you can imagine, she was VERY upset at me -I had booked my daughter AND me together, which would have been big bucks for her. I bring up the money issue because for a hairdresser, appointments are money. I have lost her probably $300 in income on my no-shows she said on the message, and I believe that, because each time was double booked for my daughter and I or my sister and I... I am SUCH A JERK!!! I did talk to her on the phone but I just suck at these things...she said she'd try to see if she could squeeze me in somewhere and call me back. She hasn't called back. I'm not worried so much about my hair as I am with her being rightfully upset... SO THEN -what do you get for these type of gifts? I think it's too late for flowers for Jon and his family (Jayden died a few weeks ago, we only found out last week) I was thinking maybe like a gourmet coffee basket? Truffles? Any thoughts? All of these cute made-to-order gift basket things online are 'Congrats' and 'Celebrate!' and stuff like that. tough to find something to help a grieving family, or tell a friend you're sorry. If I send Bonnie (my hairdresser) 'I'm Sorry' flowers, is that a gay-lover kind of thing? Her husband works with my husband and we don't need any more drama! ~Jaye Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AggieDave 6 #2 February 22, 2010 How about a card with some gift cards to a few favorite restaurants in the area that do take out? We all know that in times of extreme sorrow that eating is the last thing on your mind, much less deciding what to eat, where to eat and then having to cook it. As for your stylist...I have no idea. If I stood up my barber, I would most likely bring him a couple of cigars out of my humidor or something like that. Maybe a small bottle of decent whiskey. Then again, I go to an old school barber that still uses a straight razor and warm shaving soap!--"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ACMESkydiver 0 #3 February 22, 2010 Quote How about a card with some gift cards to a few favorite restaurants in the area that do take out? We all know that in times of extreme sorrow that eating is the last thing on your mind, much less deciding what to eat, where to eat and then having to cook it. That's a good idea...but unfortunately I don't know where they live specifically. Maybe I'll look at a chain restaurant that delivers everywhere...hard to find around here other than pizza, but it's definitely worth looking into! Quote As for your stylist...I have no idea. If I stood up my barber, I would most likely bring him a couple of cigars out of my humidor or something like that. Maybe a small bottle of decent whiskey. Then again, I go to an old school barber that still uses a straight razor and warm shaving soap! I know she likes wine, and her salon is right above a wine tasting place...but I have NO IDEA what kind of wine! I don't drink wine much so I couldn't pick a good one from a garbage one...~Jaye Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
topdocker 0 #4 February 22, 2010 Plants for greiving parents, not flowers. Give them something that will grow rather than die. Same for your hairdresser. Bring in a nice plant and an apology. May or may not work, its a business decision now. topJump more, post less! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Glitch 0 #5 February 22, 2010 For your mailman, I'd concur w/the live plant for the reason given.... For the hairdresser, how about a day for two at a nice spa... mani, pedi, facial, massages, etc... This way, she can spend a nice relaxing day w/a friend away from the stress and troubles of the world. IF she pick you, well... your gold! If not, she knows that your truely sorry cause you didn't get her a lame ass plant or sumtin. Randomly f'n thingies up since before I was born... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
guppie01 0 #6 February 22, 2010 I'd go with the plant idea for the mailman. As far as the hairdresser goes... wine or gifts is not going to make up the money she lost. Send her some of her losses, plus a small gift. g"Let's do something romantic this Saturday... how bout we bust out the restraints?" Raddest Ho this side of Jersey #1 - MISS YOU OMG, is she okay? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kmills0705 0 #7 February 22, 2010 I would bet they have more plants than they know what to do with. I have a very good friend who had a toddler die unexpectedly. Most parents today haven't saved up for the unexpected cost of a child's funeral nor have they planned financially for unexpected time off from work (I am not saying this is bad - I am one of them). A gift card (generic visa) is very helpful at this time. Or if there is some type of charity set up in the child's name you could donate to it as well. As for your hairdresser - this is a tough one - there is a bond between stylist and client and it is easily broken on either end - a few missed appointments on client side or one bad cut/color on the stylist side and it is broken. I would go the route of bottle of wine. As far as what kind, get a bottle of red and a bottle of white. You can get decent wine for $12 - $15 a bottle. Hope this helps.Kim Mills USPA D21696 Tandem I, AFF I and Static Line I Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ACMESkydiver 0 #8 February 22, 2010 Quote I'd go with the plant idea for the mailman. As far as the hairdresser goes... wine or gifts is not going to make up the money she lost. Send her some of her losses, plus a small gift. g I was thinking that, too...I was going to buy her these microwave health meals that come 6 to a case and are shelf-stable because she hardly ever gets a minute to eat at work. That and a new purse (she loves my line of purses! ) and I have new charms bracelets that came in... and I'll pay her cancellation fee. Whatever that is...~Jaye Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
shropshire 0 #9 February 22, 2010 Why not invite the hairdresser around/out for dinner... since you know her and your husband knows him. (.)Y(.) Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ACMESkydiver 0 #10 February 22, 2010 Quote Why not invite the hairdresser around/out for dinner... since you know her and your husband knows him. That's an idea! Didn't think of that. ~Jaye Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CSpenceFLY 1 #11 February 22, 2010 I'd say you owe the hairdresser a card with $300 in it. She is a better person then I am. If it were me you would not have gotten the third appointment. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ladydyver 0 #12 February 22, 2010 Mailman; I agree with the plant idea. Maybe something that can be put in their yard like a small tree or rose bush. Hairdresser. ..... you said she lived above a wine store right? why not a gift card to the store below - then she can pick out the wine that she likes. good to see you on the forums Jaye DPH # 2 "I am not sure what you are suppose to do with that, but I don't think it is suppose to flop around like that." ~Skootz~ I have a strong regard for the rules.......doc! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 34 #13 February 22, 2010 Quote Mailman; I agree with the plant idea. Maybe something that can be put in their yard like a small tree or rose bush. Hairdresser. ..... you said she lived above a wine store right? why not a gift card to the store below - then she can pick out the wine that she likes. good to see you on the forums Jaye Ditto. Wish she would stay on more often, but with the home situation she has, I can understand not having the time, nor energy to do so. Glad you're still around! "Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PLFXpert 0 #14 February 22, 2010 For the hairdresser (given your relationship/history): Book your next appointment (write it in permanent marker on your forehead ) bring a small token (wine?) and apologize again when you get there (explain whatever it was you had going on to cause you to forget). Then, tip her 125%--the cost of a full missed appointment plus tip. Money talks. Sorry--three times???--walks. Paint me in a corner, but my color comes back. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 34 #15 February 22, 2010 Quote For the hairdresser (given your relationship/history): Book your next appointment (write it in permanent marker on your forehead ) . Make sure you write it backwards, so you can read it in the mirror. "Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skymama 35 #16 February 23, 2010 I really don't think there's any gift that is going to bring comfort to your mailman for the loss of his child. If you know where he lives, I'm sure they'd appreciate a nice casserole brought over. Other than that, a comforting hug and genuine "I'm sorry for your loss, please let me know if there's anything I can do" is probably enough. As for the hairdresser, I also don't think a bottle of wine or chocolates will do. You owe her cash and a lot of it. Once is ok, everyone forgets an appointment now and then. Three times? I wouldn't return your calls either.She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Beerlight 0 #17 February 23, 2010 Condolence card for the mailman.Cash (to make up for her lost revenue) for the hairdresser! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 34 #18 February 23, 2010 Quote I really don't think there's any gift that is going to bring comfort to your mailman for the loss of his child. If you know where he lives, I'm sure they'd appreciate a nice casserole brought over. This... Yep. When the shitbag fuel tanker driver tried to beat a train in Huntsville, AL some 25 years ago that resulted in a huge fireball, incinerating some 20 people in their cars who were stopped at the RR crossing, two of whom were neighbors down the street from us, all we did was take a couple of dishes down to them, because of course, nobody in that family was gonna be in any frame of mind to cook. "Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
FlyingJ 0 #19 February 23, 2010 For the mailman I think I would just go with a card with a short and sincere message, maybe left in your mailbox with his name on it. If you knew for a fact that they were into gardening, etc. you could go with a plant, but there are plenty of people out there that just can't be bothered with that kind of stuff, but would feel extremely guilty just letting it die. As for the hairdresser...unfortunately you cost her big bucks. If she does fit you into the schedule, even though you would be paying her for it, that is a slot someone else would probably be paying for anyway. While a bottle of wine or some flowers is nice, it's no $300. I really like the idea of working in a new appointment and "tipping" her the full value of a missed appointment. Might seem like a lot to spend, but if you value your friendship and value having someone you trust to style your hair it is a minimal price to pay to keep the relationship in good standing.Killing threads since 2004. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ACMESkydiver 0 #20 February 23, 2010 I'll do that with Bonnie. I'll bring her the chocolates and purse I got for her, and a card. I'll pay double. -And if the wine tasting shop downstairs is open & she has time, maybe we'll stop by downstairs. For Jon and his wife I think I'll go with a restaurant gift certificate and card. I'll see if I can find something that delivers... Thanks everybody! ~Jaye Do not believe that possibly you can escape the reward of your action. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nightingale 0 #21 February 23, 2010 In Jayden's obituary, the parents told you what they want. "Donations can be made in memory of Jayden Thomas to the US Bank "Baby Jayden Trust" and Mary Bridge Children's Hospital." So, make a donation to the trust or to the hospital for Jayden, and it sounds like you're already set with regards to your hairdresser. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Andy9o8 0 #22 February 24, 2010 How about sending her one of these: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ui337e5D50E I also like the idea of giving her some cigars out of Dave's humidor. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
