murrays 0 #1 March 11, 2010 Please don't roundhouse kick me into oblivion for being a day late Chuck turned 70 yesterday, March 10, 2010.-- Murray "No tyranny is so irksome as petty tyranny: the officious demands of policemen, government clerks, and electromechanical gadgets." - Edward Abbey Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
regulator 0 #2 March 11, 2010 The first four minutes of the movie saving private ryan is based loosely off a dodgeball game chuck norris had in the 4th grade. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TiaDanger 0 #3 March 11, 2010 Sticks and stones may break your bones, but Chuck Norris's glare will liquify your kidneys. Outerspace exists because it's afraid to be on the same planet as Chuck Norris. Chuck Norris doesn't breathe. He holds air hostage.And for the record: the appropriate ranking of cool modes of transportation is jet pack, hover board, transporter, Batmobile, and THEN giant ant. D.S. #8.8 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skyrider 0 #4 March 11, 2010 If you want to make his day , give him the gift of his second Skydive...(I was there for his first) I thought he would NEVER let go of the door! He kissed the ground on landing, and swore NEVER again!I would have laughed, But I enjoy my teeth!(also I never in my laughed at someone that has backed out of jumping...that comment was only a joke) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TiaDanger 0 #5 March 11, 2010 Is there any video of that? I'd like to see it And for the record: the appropriate ranking of cool modes of transportation is jet pack, hover board, transporter, Batmobile, and THEN giant ant. D.S. #8.8 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
spootch 0 #6 March 12, 2010 Quote I thought he would NEVER let go of the door! He was actually holding up the plane Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
blkhwk91b 0 #7 March 12, 2010 He was actually holding up the plane Now that's funny. "Better to have a short life that is full of what you like doing, than a long life spent in a miserable way." - Alan Watts Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 6 #9 March 12, 2010 Quote Quote I thought he would NEVER let go of the door! He was actually holding up the plane When he let go of the plane, the planet rose up to catch him... ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 6 #10 March 12, 2010 Quote Quote I thought he would NEVER let go of the door! He was actually holding up the plane When he let go of the plane, the planet rose up to catch him... ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Andy9o8 0 #11 March 12, 2010 Chuck doesn't blow candles out - he lights them with his breath. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Belgian_Draft 0 #12 March 12, 2010 To say Chuck Norris has a birthday is to insinuate he was born. Chuck Norris has always existed. In fact, he created the Big Bang with a roundhouse kick. My favorites: Chuck Norris once saw God. God went blind. Chuck Norris has counted to infinity. Twice. HAMMER: Originally employed as a weapon of war, the hammer nowadays is used as a kind of divining rod to locate the most expensive parts adjacent the object we are trying to hit. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
wolfriverjoe 1,339 #13 March 12, 2010 Chuck Norris is FAR more interesting than that "Dos Equis" idiot. "There are NO situations which do not call for a French Maid outfit." Lucky McSwervy "~ya don't GET old by being weak & stupid!" - Airtwardo Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
fallfast69 2 #14 March 12, 2010 Chuck Norris's tears can cure cancer...too bad he never cries Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
regulator 0 #15 March 12, 2010 What was going through the minds of chuck norris' victims before they died? His Shoe Chuck Norris went skydiving once and promised to never do it again...one grand canyon is enough. Behind every successful man there is a woman. Behind every dead man there is chuck norris. Since the year 1940 when chuck norris was born roundhouse kick related deaths have increased by 13,000% Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kingbunky 3 #16 March 12, 2010 The boogey man checks under his bed for Chuck Norris."Hang on a sec, the young'uns are throwin' beer cans at a golf cart." MB4252 TDS699 killing threads since 2001 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Hipwrddude 0 #17 March 15, 2010 Chuck Norris's orgasms are so powerful they leave exit wounds! You're always the starter in your own life! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 34 #18 March 15, 2010 Quote Chuck Norris's cum-shots are so powerful they leave exit wounds! Fixed for brevity. "Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
