How to annoy a crappy roommate, I need ideas!

[Nataly 38]

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If you can't live with him, move sooner. If you can live with him for another three months, then do it and put him behind you when you move.

Agree 100%.. I had an extremely inconsiderate house-mate at one point.. I tolerated everything for months and finally I decided to do the mature thing and have a heart-to-heart.. That only made the situation about a hundred times worse.. Not only was she still just as inconsiderate, but now she was up for an argument every chance she got.. I even tried staying in my room, but she would walk right in anyway!! At one point I'd had enough, so I moved. She still didn't leave things alone and was after me to pay bills I had already paid!!

No.. If I'm ever in that position again, I will move, and fast. It's not worth it. Sometimes it can be worked out, but some people just don't care about others.

It worked out great in the end - I found a huge flat, for less money, and I don't even have to share.. Had a couple of issues with the landlord, but that's been sorted now

"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse."
- Chris Hadfield
« Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. »
- my boss

[minmal 0]

this is a little bit petty but u said he has a laptop

this will drive him bonkers for weeks

http://technet.microsoft.com/en-us/sysinternals/bb897558.aspx

Bluescreen cycles between different Blue Screens and simulated boots every 15 seconds or so. Virtually all the information shown on Bluescreen's BSOD and system start screen is obtained from your system configuration - its accuracy will fool even advanced NT developers. For example, the NT build number, processor revision, loaded drivers and addresses, disk drive characteristics, and memory size are all taken from the system Bluescreen is running on.

i have seen people get a new pc to fix this screen saver great value laugh as he rips his hair out and scream in frustration

[GQ_jumper 4]

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Suck it up and confront him responsably, if you are any sort of good person it will be easy to get someone to replace him, If not, than maybe you deserve to be miserable.

Your ethic is far from acceptable in my opinion but that is your perogative.

You know I'm really disappointed with some of the responses in this thread. I didn't realize that the skydiving community had gone from a group of people always willing to do anything for a good time to group of (fill in the blank) with no sense of humor. Get off you fucking high horses when you set foot in the bonfire, this place is where we come to have fun.

And to everyone that contributed to the fun, you all rock!!!

History does not long entrust the care of freedom to the weak or the timid.
--Dwight D. Eisenhower

[FlyingJ 0]

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I was thinking about randomly going into his bathroom and taking a crap but not flushing

Make it an upper decker and then you're in business!

Killing threads since 2004.

[Squeak 17]

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I was thinking about randomly going into his bathroom and taking a crap but not flushing

Make it an upper decker and then you're in business!

Replace his tooth paste with Preperation H..
Wrap a block of Laxettes with a chocolate wrapper,

You are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky)
My Life ROCKS!
How's yours doing?

[LongWayToFall 0]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Z17-JYf3N08

[ridestrong 1]

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Suck it up and confront him responsably, if you are any sort of good person it will be easy to get someone to replace him, If not, than maybe you deserve to be miserable.

Your ethic is far from acceptable in my opinion but that is your perogative.

You know I'm really disappointed with some of the responses in this thread. I didn't realize that the skydiving community had gone from a group of people always willing to do anything for a good time to group of (fill in the blank) with no sense of humor. Get off you fucking high horses when you set foot in the bonfire, this place is where we come to have fun.

And to everyone that contributed to the fun, you all rock!!!

You could beat him senseless with a tire-iron until he is guppy breathing in a pool of his own blood.

Then just leave a small glove behind that doesn't fit you and no one will be the wiser.

*I am not afraid of dying... I am afraid of missing life.*
----Disclaimer: I don't know shit about skydiving.----

[turtlespeed 212]

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yes full ones.

Oooh and you could just dribble a little in the corners of his room for that "Special" odiferous experiance

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[turtlespeed 212]

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Suck it up and confront him responsably, if you are any sort of good person it will be easy to get someone to replace him, If not, than maybe you deserve to be miserable.

Your ethic is far from acceptable in my opinion but that is your perogative.

You know I'm really disappointed with some of the responses in this thread. I didn't realize that the skydiving community had gone from a group of people always willing to do anything for a good time to group of (fill in the blank) with no sense of humor. Get off you fucking high horses when you set foot in the bonfire, this place is where we come to have fun.

And to everyone that contributed to the fun, you all rock!!!

You could beat him senseless with a tire-iron until he is guppy breathing in a pool of his own blood.

Then just leave a small glove behind that doesn't fit you and no one will be the wiser.

Well THAT would be a bit harsh, you should really lighten up a bit.

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[regulator 0]

Just butter the floors extra slippery and set up a camera and wait for the fun to begin!

[skyjumpenfool 2]

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Just butter the floors extra slippery and set up a camera and wait for the fun to begin!

I like the camera idea... Whatever you do, get it on video!

When he's not looking, use a black sharpie to write "Cops Suck" on the back of his drivers license. Eventually, he'll get pulled over and have to dig for his license. Won't he be suprised then!

Birdshit & Fools Productions

"Son, only two things fall from the sky."

[ScaryBox 0]

For pranks -

If you each have your own toilet, take a crap in the tank itself. ( or w/e makes it so crap water flushes down instead of regular)

Put a dead fish in the air conditioner of his car

If he gets action regularly find his condoms and poke holes in the tip....

Put unnecessary amounts of cologne on when your are staying home


Seriously though, just like everyone said, live with it, try talking to him to at least pay some bills or forgo paying one of the bills (water, cable, etc..) if his name is on the lease

[roger4 0]

If the high road fails... A laxative and sleeping pill cocktail would be interesting.

[LongWayToFall 0]

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If he gets action regularly find his condoms and poke holes in the tip....

Dude!!! That is straight jacked up. You would have to tell him right after his girl said she wanted to keep it, that would be the ultimate FUCK YOU.

[moodyskydiver 0]

I had the same problem a few years ago but a divorce solved it.

Keep in mind that whatever you do you will have to put up with/endure aswell (like stinking up the house or loud music) and I'd advise against destruction of property/vandalism etc. that might result in losing your deposit if you have one.That being said, here are my suggestions:

Annoying music: the full 2 CD set of the original Phantom of the Opera soundtrack worked nicely. And never underestimate the power of Irish/Scotish bagpipe music...especially early in the morning when he has a hangover.

Bathroom humor: Play hide and seek with the toilet paper...not as effective with guys but it could be fun if you get creative. Or try never shutting the bathroom door while "in use". If you dont share a bathroom be sure the toilet seat/lid is down if you think he might go take a midnight piss while half asleep especially if hes one of the annoying "point and shoot" roommates that dont turn the light on. If you have a girlfriend get her in on the fun and leave used condoms or her sanitary napkins/tampons in his bathroom.

Since you do all the cleaning maybe you could get a sudden urge to rearrange all the furniture and other stuff in the house especially with regards to his stuff that might be in common areas.

Ofcourse you could go to a cheap adult novelty store and leave a 1/2 used bottle of lube and some anal beads on his bathroom counter...maybe strategically place gay porn or fetish porn where he might find it...better yet, leave it on his bed along with a skanky pair of crotchless panties and make him think you're screwing in his bed and then leave over the counter meds/creams/ointments for STDs or crabs where he will see it.

Seriously, you're a skydiver, think of all the practical jokes, pranks and shenanigans that happen after the beer light comes on. Depending on your DZ that could be all the ammo you need.

"...just an earthbound misfit, I."

[Amazon 7]

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I have the 2nd worst roommate in the world, the person he replaced was the worst but this loser comes in a close 2nd. I've decided that since I move shortly it isn't worth calling him out for being a crappy roomate. If I do that then there's the argument, then he gets angry and fired up and headbutts my fist multiple times. It happens, don't judge! And then I spend the next three months covering his share of the rent til I move. Seriously though this guy sucks, its all the usual crap, doesn't do his dishes, doesn't take out the trash, expects me to take care of his dog, doesn't pay bills on time.

So my question for you guys and gals is how can I make him miserable for the next three months? I would just let him wallow in his own filth til the move but I can't stand living in a messy place so instinctively I take out the trash, and do the dishes every time I walk in the door.

I was thinking about randomly going into his bathroom and taking a crap but not flushing, using his Qtips and leaving them on his counter, eating all his food. What else is there?

Anyone?

I could come visit.. then I can annoy the fuck out of both of you

[turtlespeed 212]

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If he gets action regularly find his condoms and poke holes in the tip....

Dude!!! That is straight jacked up. You would have to tell him right after his girl said she wanted to keep it, that would be the ultimate FUCK YOU.

LOL

Or you could just TELL him you did that - and poke some holes in the ones you have available - right before you tell him.

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[LongWayToFall 0]

Man, that is a good point. The tension would be soooooooo thick. Gotta try and record the phone call to the girl that occurs right after you tell him.... priceless!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[Niki1 1]

Start playing Barry Manilow "music" kind of loud.

Most of the things worth doing in the world had been declared impossilbe before they were done.
Louis D Brandeis

Where are we going and why are we in this basket?

[Baksteen 84]

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Ofcourse you could go to a cheap adult novelty store and leave a 1/2 used bottle of lube and some anal beads on his bathroom counter...maybe strategically place gay porn or fetish porn where he might find it...better yet, leave it on his bed along with a skanky pair of crotchless panties and make him think you're screwing in his bed and then leave over the counter meds/creams/ointments for STDs or crabs where he will see it.

Good idea! But wait with that shit until he's bringing a date home

"That formation-stuff in freefall is just fun and games but with an open parachute it's starting to sound like, you know, an extreme sport."
~mom

[remibond 0]

dude just eat all his food and 'hide' his money/cards. he'll soon starve then hey, no more roommate

[lawrocket 3]

I myself am disappointed by so many people here. "Be the bigger person." Yeah? I am bigger - a bigger asshole! I don't start it. I'm the nicest guy in the world, but I have my limits.

"Oooh. You'll just intensify the conflict." There's a simple solution to that - shut your mouth. Don't tell him. Don't brag to him. The beauty is the subtlety. Be above suspicion! Give no sign that it's you.

Here are a few off the cuff suggestions that I would advise you not to do. Really, don't do any of the following:

(1) He comes home one day. You give him an envelope. "Some guy knocked on the door ten minutes ago and asked if you were here.". It's a lawsuit against him. Small claims. $7,500. Think of something that will really bother him - put one of his friends' name on it. He likely has an asshole friend that can be a good secondary mark.

(2) Ever see what roadkill can do? It's amazing!!! You can stuff it into all kinds of fun places, like the engine compartment of a car. If roadkill is unavailable, just a couple of drops of hunting lure somewhere on the car will work. He'll further be shamed by stinking.

(3)(a) Dog. He's got one. Next time he's gone for four hours, feed the dog a laxative. Lock in his room. Most will pass after a couple of hours. Thehn let the dog out and "I've been gone all day."

(3)(b) dog. Does he have a favorite pair of pants? Comic book? Blow up doll? How about his pillow? A little piece of ground beef in the pillow, or blood on the pants can certainly cause rover to be a bad dog.

(3)(c) dog. Does dog stay in his room? Dog whistles can make his efforts to get a sound sleep really fucking interesting.

(4) Washer/dryer. Another one of the world's gifts to getting even are these self-contained dishwasher detergent packets. Loaded with bleach. Who checks the upper rim of a washing machine? Guess what takes just a dab of glue and a spin cycle to dislodge it? His blues just came out white!

(5) Car. Put a small crimp in his fuel line. He'll notice a non-disabling loss of power.

(6) In another six to eight weeks, send e-mails from his account to three or four of his friends bitching them out for fucking with his car. Oh yes - send one to yourself. Reply to him and his friends with anger at his suggestions. "I've had it with your shit." That kind of thing. Tell him about the crap that pisses you off about him and to quit plaing the blame game with you.


There are other things but I've got to get back to work. Allow me to reiterate, these suggestions are for ewntertainment purposes only and should only be attempted by a professional.

My wife is hotter than your wife.

[Baksteen 84]

Some itching powder in his underpants drawer would also be very entertaining.

"That formation-stuff in freefall is just fun and games but with an open parachute it's starting to sound like, you know, an extreme sport."
~mom

[shropshire 0]

- Remind me never to piss you off

The dog whistle idea is a thing of beauty - love it and will use it one day

(.)Y(.)
Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome

[Tiger6513 0]

Roomate a pot head? Piss in his bong, he'll never know

Travis Roy Foundation. At very least its a tax write off