How to annoy a crappy roommate, I need ideas!

[GQ_jumper 4]

I have the 2nd worst roommate in the world, the person he replaced was the worst but this loser comes in a close 2nd. I've decided that since I move shortly it isn't worth calling him out for being a crappy roomate. If I do that then there's the argument, then he gets angry and fired up and headbutts my fist multiple times. It happens, don't judge! And then I spend the next three months covering his share of the rent til I move. Seriously though this guy sucks, its all the usual crap, doesn't do his dishes, doesn't take out the trash, expects me to take care of his dog, doesn't pay bills on time.

So my question for you guys and gals is how can I make him miserable for the next three months? I would just let him wallow in his own filth til the move but I can't stand living in a messy place so instinctively I take out the trash, and do the dishes every time I walk in the door.

I was thinking about randomly going into his bathroom and taking a crap but not flushing, using his Qtips and leaving them on his counter, eating all his food. What else is there?

Anyone?

History does not long entrust the care of freedom to the weak or the timid.
--Dwight D. Eisenhower

[Heatmiser 0]

Fuck his girlfriend.

What you say is reflective of your knowledge...HOW ya say it is reflective of your experience. Airtwardo

Someone's going to be spanked! Hopefully, it will be me. Skymama

[GQ_jumper 4]

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Fuck his girlfriend.

I like where your head is at! Unfortunately this guy is too much of a douche bag to have a girlfriend. Apart from the porn on his laptop he's all alone.

Of course I could always come out of the bathroom holding his laptop and claim the battery ran out on mine while I was rubbing one out so I finished myself off with his, that would work.

History does not long entrust the care of freedom to the weak or the timid.
--Dwight D. Eisenhower

[skygirl1 1]

well hon, its been awhile since we have talked in colorado, but I know you and the crazy guy you are, so I am sure you will figure something out. You always did at the DZ, from tearing off your pants at landing or bringing us your helmet with bullet holes in it

" Mean people SUCK!"

[Smirniof 0]

Before he goes to bed at night, go near him, look him in the eyes, give him a kiss and wish him good night :). That should keep him awake at night.

[davelepka 4]

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doesn't pay bills on time

Just act like a utility company.

Fire up the parental controls on the cable box, and lock the whole thing down with a pin code.

Put a padlock in on the breaker box, and throw the breakers that lead to his bedroom.

Dsiable, or put some sort of password on the wifi.

[shropshire 0]

Take his dog to the Pound ........ or make him think that you did.

Put the Dustbins IN his room

Spike his food with laxitive

(.)Y(.)
Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome

[AdamUSN 0]

Well,

I am in the Navy. I have had a LOT of crappy roommates over the last 12 years. What I suggest is to talk with him about the situation, either do everything yourself and suck it up, make lists and leave them around the kitchen.

With the bills just send everything yourself, tell him you need x amounts of dollars and collect on payday before he goes to the bar!!

Another good option is wait until his friends come over to the house and then start doing all this cleaning and ask him to give you a hand.

...and then fuck his girlfriend!

If you do things that don't make you appreciate life than why do them

[skreamer 1]

I hid one of these in my boss's office : http://www.thinkgeek.com/gadgets/electronic/8c52/

I let HR and facilities in on the gag. He'd resorted to working in the dark with his monitors turned off to try and find the noise. He then decided it was caused by the smoke detector. Of course pretty much everyone except him is in on it now and is playing along. I turned it off when he threatened to tear his office apart, I'm turning it back on for april fool's day. Guaranteed insanity!

[Andy9o8 0]

[Dear Abby] Speak to your clergyman; and maybe find a channel for your frustrations, like gardening or stamp collecting. Make lemonade out of that lemon! [/Dear Abby]

Seriously? OK - Dude, if you're willing to escalate a bad roommate thing to all-out war in your own home for the next 3 months, more power to you.

[lost_n_confuzd 0]

Next time he's gone for a couple days take multiple shits in his toilet, don't flush.

Piss on his shirts then throw then in the dryer and put 'em back where you found them.

Same applies for his skivvies.....works great at PT.

And his pillow.

Clear saran wrap over his toilet.

Bust a nut in his toothpaste container.

Lock the dog in his room....dog will do the rest.

[Sapphire 0]

Why use the energy to bring yourself down to his level? Your time is almost up - just ignore him! I've had some crappy roommates in the past and find this is much better than arguing or resorting to petty behavior. Most people generally cannot stand to be ignored, so it ultimately is the best revenge.

Hopefully next time you can stay on your own OR pick your next roommate after getting some detailed info or references from prior roommates/landlords.

I know - not the fun response you were hoping for... Good luck! Hope the time flies by...

"One can never consent to creep when one feels an impulse to soar" ~ Helen Keller

[rhys 0]

Suck it up and confront him responsably, if you are any sort of good person it will be easy to get someone to replace him, If not, than maybe you deserve to be miserable.

Your ethic is far from acceptable in my opinion but that is your perogative.

"When the power of love overcomes the love of power, then the world will see peace." - 'Jimi' Hendrix

[skyjumpenfool 2]

How to annoy a crappy roommate, I need ideas!


Just be yourself!!

Birdshit & Fools Productions

"Son, only two things fall from the sky."

[Baksteen 84]

Download and play German Schlager music at all hours. It's okay in moderation, but after a while it'll get on your nerves.


Besides that, an artist of special interest would be a dutch singer called Frans Bauer..

"That formation-stuff in freefall is just fun and games but with an open parachute it's starting to sound like, you know, an extreme sport."
~mom

[nitrochute 2]

how about some used colostomy bags left around his room? i can supply all you need.

[shropshire 0]

That's just taking the piss

(.)Y(.)
Chivalry is not dead; it only sleeps for want of work to do. - Jerome K Jerome

[turtlespeed 212]

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how about some used colostomy bags left around his room? i can supply all you need.

Full ones?

I was thinking about maybe getting some hydracloric [sp] acid and dripping it on his clothes in several places. Perhaps a little on his shoes . . . , maybe even his food . . .

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[nanook 1]

Move your girlfriend in. Have her "take over" and impose rules.

He has no girlfriends and spends a lot of time looking at porno? Get in an argument about the Lord of the Rings and the meaning behind it. Let him know that Star wars is the only real trilogy. Call Ann Rice a creepy psycho bitch. Oooh the arguments that will ensue

_____________________________

"The trouble with quotes on the internet is that you can never know if they are genuine" - Abraham Lincoln

[3331 108]

Stop putting food in the frig. Eat all meals out, never invite him.

And the one that works every time---move out.

I Jumped with the guys who invented Skydiving.

[pcramil 0]

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Fuck his girlfriend.

I like where your head is at! Unfortunately this guy is too much of a douche bag to have a girlfriend. Apart from the porn on his laptop he's all alone.

Of course I could always come out of the bathroom holding his laptop and claim the battery ran out on mine while I was rubbing one out so I finished myself off with his, that would work.

if you have access to it, delete his porn. if it's hidden, wipe his hard drive

[Nataly 38]

The only solution to a truly bad roommate is to move out.

Bring it up, and he might change his behaviour - but then again, it might just add a whole lot of tension in the air unnecessarily.. Don't bring it up, and you get progressively more annoyed.. Play some childish tricks on him and he might retaliate - these things so easily get out of hand..

Nope.. Just move. ASAP, if possible.

"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse."
- Chris Hadfield
« Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. »
- my boss

[billvon 2,396]

>Play some childish tricks on him and he might retaliate - these things so
>easily get out of hand..

Exactly. If he's that much of a dick, he won't think anything about putting dogshit in your food, or putting sugar in your gas tank, or canceling all your credit cards, or calling the cops, making up a story, and getting a restraining order that keeps you out of your own apartment.

If you can't live with him, move sooner. If you can live with him for another three months, then do it and put him behind you when you move.

[skyjumpenfool 2]

A really dirty trick that I learned from my wife... now, keep in mind, this works but it's really dirty, underhanded, psycological warfare…

Kill him with kindness!
My wife is a master at this technique. I’ve seen her turn big burly biker types into mush.

Birdshit & Fools Productions

"Son, only two things fall from the sky."

[nitrochute 2]

yes full ones.