Friend zone and age

[AllisonH 0]

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Sadly I will have to say if you don't count the tandems that show up giggling their little tits off......I would say we have 0 available women to well over a dozen dirty perverts.

But sadly I don't get it. I really do wish to not be an ass but doing so relegates me to the "friend zone" and thus the relationship will never evolve. I was hoping that women in their 30's would be past this level of stupidity but sadly regardless of the education level it still seems to hold true. Women just like it when you don't give a rats ass or show any level of compassion.

ie if she is suck, say "Shucks get better soon" instead of saying "Would you like me to pick you up a pint of soup from---fill in the blank---on my way home from work?" (i already know where she lives due to picking her up for date #2)

I cannot speak for others, but I do fall into the age range you're speaking of. I've had several very happy relationships with men I met at (DZ or other place we went to participate in hobby of mutual interest), most of which started out as being "friends" first. I would have responded exactly the way the women you described do. Why? NOT because I don't like men who are caring. In fact, being "an ass" would guarantee you would never get to the first date, let alone the third. But because when I don't feel well I just want everyone - of every age/gender/relationship with me - to leave me alone! And at the third date phase they may not know that about me yet, and when I don't feel well I'm probably not going to explain it nicely.

[shah269 0]

Cool See enlightenment can come from the clear blue sky.

I guess I just never saw it in that context. We'll see if the girl who I was nice to gets back to me. I hope so, she's smart and very very very cute.

*I would like to add a correction. By "being an ass" I'm implying being cocky but not disrespectful. Sorry about the confusion since being an ass does imply being disrespectful.

Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay.

The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools!

[Baksteen 84]

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Ladies help me out here.
I'm 33 and dating again. The last time I did this I was 22 and well it appears that more things have changed the more they have stayed the same....to me. But I'm being told otherwise. So please help me out if you can.
When I was younger I was an expert in throwing myself into the friend zone like a champ. Took a year of education to learn not to be so freaking stupid by being so freaking nice. But now I'm older and so are the girls I'm talking to......not going to go younger than 27 it's just a little creepy....and I'm not so sure about the rules of the Friend Zone.
Are they still the same now that you are older?
Do I still have to be a flaming ass so as to stay above the friend zone? Or have you ladies by this age matured that a guy can actually be nice to you and give a rats ass about your existence and not be relegated into the friend zone and thus have a chance at a long term stable relationship?

Perhaps this guy can help.

"That formation-stuff in freefall is just fun and games but with an open parachute it's starting to sound like, you know, an extreme sport."
~mom

[AllisonH 0]

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*I would like to add a correction. By "being an ass" I'm implying being cocky but not disrespectful. Sorry about the confusion since being an ass does imply being disrespectful.

Cocky is just as big a turn off as disrespectful to many people. However, some people like it - so it's probably best to be yourself because you want your attraction to be based on who you really are and how you typically act if you want things to last.

[amstalder 0]

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As for finding a girl at the DZ or at Yoga class or other....you know that would be super! That would freaking fantastic! But let's be honest, at a DZ? That's like hitting on a engineering chick.......WHY? (do you really want me to go into this?)

Where exactly do you jump?? Maybe once you have your A license, youll actually notice all the awesome/hot women that are jumping at your dropzone...

PS- I am a former "engineering chick" on top of being a jumper, and quite frankly Im fucking awesome. Good luck with that dating thing... Didnt your mom ever tell you that when you stop looking someone great will come along?

[shah269 0]

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*I would like to add a correction. By "being an ass" I'm implying being cocky but not disrespectful. Sorry about the confusion since being an ass does imply being disrespectful.

Cocky is just as big a turn off as disrespectful to many people. However, some people like it - so it's probably best to be yourself because you want your attraction to be based on who you really are and how you typically act if you want things to last.

Allison,
I have to agree, cocky can be just as bad but let's be honest for a second. You girls are really no different than us guys. You don't want the pushover and enjoy the chase as much as we do. So a guy who is overly "easy" is just not much fun.

Case in point, instead of saying yes to date #2 I've always had greater success by simply saying "Maybe" or "Let's play it by ear" regardless of how sure I was in wanting the second date.

As for getting things to last, let's get to date 5 before I even think about that and she has proven she can at least make a half decent sandwich.....in case I'm hurt and can't make my own.


It's it beautifully complicated how we humans are?

amstalder, as for the "Oh you'll bump into her..." that's how i met my X. So yeah it could happen. But I'm an engineer surrounded by engineers living in a location not frequented by hot chicks so I have to "hunt" that and....well...it's fun

Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay.

The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools!

[AllisonH 0]

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*I would like to add a correction. By "being an ass" I'm implying being cocky but not disrespectful. Sorry about the confusion since being an ass does imply being disrespectful.

Cocky is just as big a turn off as disrespectful to many people. However, some people like it - so it's probably best to be yourself because you want your attraction to be based on who you really are and how you typically act if you want things to last.

Allison,
I have to agree, cocky can be just as bad but let's be honest for a second. You girls are really no different than us guys. You don't want the pushover and enjoy the chase as much as we do. So a guy who is overly "easy" is just not much fun.

Case in point, instead of saying yes to date #2 I've always had greater success by simply saying "Maybe" or "Let's play it by ear" regardless of how sure I was in wanting the second date.

As for getting things to last, let's get to date 5 before I even think about that and she has proven she can at least make a half decent sandwich.....in case I'm hurt and can't make my own.


It's it beautifully complicated how we humans are?

I won't dispute that's probably true for many people. I just think you're generalizing a little too much. If someone said "maybe" or "let's play it by ear" to me I'd assume it meant "no". I may have a different perspective on this though because I absolutely hate "dates" with people I don't know well, and prefer for things to just evolve over time with people I'm already friends with.

[shah269 0]

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I won't dispute that's probably true for many people. I just think you're generalizing a little too much. If someone said "maybe" or "let's play it by ear" to me I'd assume it meant "no". I may have a different perspective on this though because I absolutely hate "dates" with people I don't know well, and prefer for things to just evolve over time with people I'm already friends with.

Cool, ok....I see what you mean by not going out with people you don't know. Makes sense. Sadly 90% of my friends are guys. But i see where you are coming from.
As for the meaning no, well I wouldn't be so blunt..it's all about the inflection in my voice when i say it.

Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay.

The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools!

[Shotgun 1]

Perhaps a subscription to Cosmo would help you with your dating questions.

Man, some people make dating so complicated. Be honest, be yourself, enjoy your life. Then you will probably meet others who are doing the same.

(Unless you prefer a complicated person who likes to play games; then play the games.)

[shah269 0]

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Perhaps a subscription to Cosmo would help you with your dating questions.

And what is wrong with reading Cosmo!
It's trashy!
And the UK version more so! Me like trashy!

But you're right, too much thought can make a bad meal.
However I have to say what gets me is that how some of the same stupid tricks I used when I was 22 work just as well now when I'm 33?

Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay.

The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools!

[skyrider 0]

Personally, I for the life of me can't get a grasp on this problem, when I meet a girl 9or met, since I am happially married ) i am up front for if I want her body, or just her company, cuts out all the game playing!@

The first thing I ever said to my wife 9over 30 years ago, so longer than you been alive) is" I want to molest your body!" (she was my waitress at a Sambo's resturant, I was a traveling biker passing threw)

Stop "Hunting" just go out, be yourself, FUCK playing games, Who wants to spend time with a game player?

Just have fun, and out of the blue...you will find someone!

[skyrider 0]

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Sadly I will have to say if you don't count the tandems that show up giggling their little tits off......I would say we have 0 available women to well over a dozen dirty perverts.

But sadly I don't get it. I really do wish to not be an ass but doing so relegates me to the "friend zone" and thus the relationship will never evolve. I was hoping that women in their 30's would be past this level of stupidity but sadly regardless of the education level it still seems to hold true. Women just like it when you don't give a rats ass or show any level of compassion.

ie if she is suck, say "Shucks get better soon" instead of saying "Would you like me to pick you up a pint of soup from---fill in the blank---on my way home from work?" (i already know where she lives due to picking her up for date #2)

I cannot speak for others, but I do fall into the age range you're speaking of. I've had several very happy relationships with men I met at (DZ or other place we went to participate in hobby of mutual interest), most of which started out as being "friends" first. I would have responded exactly the way the women you described do. Why? NOT because I don't like men who are caring. In fact, being "an ass" would guarantee you would never get to the first date, let alone the third. But because when I don't feel well I just want everyone - of every age/gender/relationship with me - to leave me alone! And at the third date phase they may not know that about me yet, and when I don't feel well I'm probably not going to explain it nicely.

1+

[shah269 0]

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Personally, I for the life of me can't get a grasp on this problem,

Brother you ride a V twin.
Don't you know what that by riding a Harley or a Custom none of these rules apply to you.
It's like a girl with an amazing rack and great legs, she can walk up and shoot people and society will just look the other way.
Maybe I'll trade in my GPZ for a Harley........no....but that new 848 in red looks real nice.

Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay.

The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools!

[skyrider 0]

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Personally, I for the life of me can't get a grasp on this problem,

Brother you ride a V twin.
Don't you know what that by riding a Harley or a Custom none of these rules apply to you.
It's like a girl with an amazing rack and great legs, she can walk up and shoot people and society will just look the other way.
Maybe I'll trade in my GPZ for a Harley........no....but that new 848 in red looks real nice.

ROFL....Ya got a point, I have had many a hottie asking for rides..."knowing the price"

So get rid of that rice, buy a mans bike, I have 2 for sale...and "build it", (buying a bike is not the same, and women sense it)

[DrewEckhardt 0]

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As for finding a girl at the DZ or at Yoga class or other....you know that would be super! That would freaking fantastic! But let's be honest, at a DZ? That's like hitting on a engineering chick.......WHY? (do you really want me to go into this?)

I married a sexy engineering chick. Who I met working at a startup.

Special advantages of marrying another engineer are that she can solve technical problems for you and she'll understand completely when you talk about the insanity going on at your office because she's seen it before. And contrary to stereotypes, just being an engineer does not preclude doing 'normal' fun things like hiking and biking.

Just be yourself. Real women that you'd want to be with are smart enough to see through the crap, and if they don't want to be romantic with you it's better to find out before you have kids, are married, or have moved in together.

[pinkfairy 0]

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and you are, well... a student jumper with a broken leg. Not too impressive to the average Skygoddess.

If I wanted a date, I'd want the person, not the skydiver. I already skydive and have found the disciplines that I like. I'm not impressed by a small canopy, bacause I've already got one. As long as you're not a danger to yourself or others to an unacceptable degree, then your skydiving skills don't matter to me.


Good luck with the dating project, have you tried internet dating? At least you'll get some interesting experiences and maybe learn a thing or two about yourself.

Relax, you can die if you mess up, but it will probably not be by bullet.

I'm a BIG, TOUGH BIGWAY FORMATION SKYDIVER! What are you?

[shah269 0]

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So get rid of that rice, buy a mans bike, I have 2 for sale...and "build it", (buying a bike is not the same, and women sense it)

Oh if it had the money!
The old GPZ will have to do for at least another year or two and she is starting to show her age with about 30k miles on the engine.
But that being said I am looking at either a
http://pictures.topspeed.com/IMG/jpg/200602/2006-ducati-superbike-749-2-3w.jpg
which I can get for just a little under $7k
or
http://longbeachkalifornia.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/ducati_848_2008_02_1024x768.jpg
which I can get for a little under $13k
But nothing is going to happen this year.
And I'm hoping the girls won't know the difference between a V twin and an L twin other than mine will sound a bit better and be a hell of a lot more agile around corners
FYI
that rear seat is 8.5X11 so her but better be that small!

Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay.

The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools!

[shah269 0]

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Good luck with the dating project, have you tried internet dating? At least you'll get some interesting experiences and maybe learn a thing or two about yourself.

kkeenan, yes I have and am.
Between working 10 hours a day and going to school to get my MBA on Saturdays and doing homework I really have very little time to "hang" at the local bar/club/DZ.
So time for me is an issue and the internet is a great help. Nothing like flirting with a girl online while folding you clothes or making dinner.

But I have to admit I have used the internet dating sights more for experimenting than actual dating. It's the engineer in me which I do my best to keep suppressed.

Case in point, "Playing" with the parameters. Turns out I could make $50k less but if I were 4in taller I get 3 times as many flirts. Go figure, as a short guy of only 5'8" it is kind of funny. Especially since I have no problem dating taller girls. It's fun.

The only surprise really has been that the same stupid little tricks that I used when I was 22 seem to work now that I'm 33. I really had hoped women would be more mature then that, such as actually showing any or all sympathy or empathy leading one into the friend zone.

The only exception is the car issue. Girls have gone from the car to the pad. And I have a very nice pad which seems to work rather well according to some.

Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay.

The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools!

[skyrider 0]

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So get rid of that rice, buy a mans bike, I have 2 for sale...and "build it", (buying a bike is not the same, and women sense it)

Oh if it had the money!
The old GPZ will have to do for at least another year or two and she is starting to show her age with about 30k miles on the engine.
But that being said I am looking at either a
http://pictures.topspeed.com/IMG/jpg/200602/2006-ducati-superbike-749-2-3w.jpg
which I can get for just a little under $7k
or
http://longbeachkalifornia.files.wordpress.com/2009/03/ducati_848_2008_02_1024x768.jpg
which I can get for a little under $13k
But nothing is going to happen this year.
And I'm hoping the girls won't know the difference between a V twin and an L twin other than mine will sound a bit better and be a hell of a lot more agile around corners
FYI
that rear seat is 8.5X11 so her but better be that small!

And just exactly haow this bike designed to attracted anything but men?

One seat. Now room for two..built to be dangerous...That kind of ride only turns most women off!

hell my sons ride has . "Ride with me" written all over it!

http://img.photobucket.com/albums/v400/onekick/apes/ridenknuck016.jpg

[shah269 0]

I can't see your picture due to the firewall....but I don't ride to pick up girls. I ride to ride to enjoy the trip.

As for a seat for one? I don't know....when I was in Spain three years ago there were lots of cute girls sitting on the backs of sub 600CC motorcycle

Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay.

The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools!

[Bolas 5]

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Good luck with the dating project, have you tried internet dating? At least you'll get some interesting experiences and maybe learn a thing or two about yourself.

kkeenan, yes I have and am.
Between working 10 hours a day and going to school to get my MBA on Saturdays and doing homework I really have very little time to "hang" at the local bar/club/DZ.
So time for me is an issue and the internet is a great help. Nothing like flirting with a girl online while folding you clothes or making dinner.

But I have to admit I have used the internet dating sights more for experimenting than actual dating. It's the engineer in me which I do my best to keep suppressed.

Case in point, "Playing" with the parameters. Turns out I could make $50k less but if I were 4in taller I get 3 times as many flirts. Go figure, as a short guy of only 5'8" it is kind of funny. Especially since I have no problem dating taller girls. It's fun.

The only surprise really has been that the same stupid little tricks that I used when I was 22 seem to work now that I'm 33. I really had hoped women would be more mature then that, such as actually showing any or all sympathy or empathy leading one into the friend zone.

The only exception is the car issue. Girls have gone from the car to the pad. And I have a very nice pad which seems to work rather well according to some.

This is why I don't bother with Internet dating. Too many people bull shitting themselves and others. It's kind of like lieing on your resume, it may help you get your foot in the door, but if you get caught, you're prolly hosed.

Personally, if I did try Internet dating, I'd be honest about who I was and what I was looking for. That way the ones that did reply I might actually have a better chance of a connection with, moreso if they did the same.

Quality, not quantity.

Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting
If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

[ihazkittehz 0]

I am so sick of the Poor-Little-Nice-Guy schtick.

Just because you consider yourself a "Nice Guy", doesn't mean that a) you are actually a nice guy, or b) that it entitles you to your choice of women.

You seem to think that simply being nice to a woman should be enough to make her want to continue dating you. And you assume that if she rejects you it's because you were "being too nice." There are a million reasons why not every date leads to a relationship. Do you pursue a relationship with every woman who is nice to you? I'm guessing no.

My advice is simply to treat everyone with respect, be yourself, and hope for the best.

[shah269 0]

Wow, how many guys did you put into the friend zone

Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay.

The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools!

[skyrider 0]

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Wow, how many guys did you put into the friend zone

Dude, (gawd I hate that term) those were words of wisdom...

STOP being anything but what you are, why would you want a woman you met during an "Act" , you can't "Act" forever,,,maybe explaing the devorce rate....Fuck Acting.....