BillyVance 34 #1 November 7, 2007 I'm probably going to Hell for this one, but hey Airtwardo, here's something you can do when you get there. Harold is 92 and lives in a senior citizen home. Every night after dinner, Harold goes to a secluded garden behind the Center to sit, smoke a cigar, listen to music, ponder his accomplishments and reflect on his long life. One evening, Mildred, age 86, wanders into the garden. They begin to chat, and before they know it, several hours had passed. After a short lull in their conversation, Harold turns to Mildred asks, "Do you know what I miss most of all?" She asks, "What?" "SEX!!" he replies. Mildred exclaims, "Why you old fart, you couldn't get it up if I held a gun to your head!" "I know," Harold says, "but it would be nice if a woman could just hold it for a while." "Well, I can oblige," says Mildred, who unzips his trousers, removes his manhood and proceeds to hold it. Afterward, they agree to meet secretly each night in the garden where they would sit and talk and Mildred would hold Harold's manhood. Then, one night, Harold didn't show up at their usual meeting place. Alarmed, Mildred decided to find Harold and make sure he was OK. She walked around the senior citizen home where she found him sitting by the pool with another female resident, Ethel, who was holding Harold's manhood! Furious, Mildred yelled, "You two-timing Bastard! What does Ethel have that I don't have?" Old Harold smiled happily and replied, "Parkinson's"."Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
billeisele 120 #2 November 7, 2007 don't mess with Airtwardo, I owe him a favor and he might want me to come and attach your feet to your new kitchen floor with my nail gun and the best part is i won't even have to sneak upGive one city to the thugs so they can all live together. I vote for Chicago where they have strict gun laws. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 6 #3 November 7, 2007 Quote don't mess with Airtwardo, I owe him a favor and he might want me to come and attach your feet to your new kitchen floor with my nail gun and the best part is i won't even have to sneak up YEAH! ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 34 #4 November 7, 2007 Quote Quote don't mess with Airtwardo, I owe him a favor and he might want me to come and attach your feet to your new kitchen floor with my nail gun and the best part is i won't even have to sneak up YEAH! Not so fast boys! Not even a bunch of deaf skydivers could sneak up on me with a cooler full of water and get me wet! Oh yeah, they tried that shit at the first Deaf World Record at San Marcos, Texas in 2001. I had my hearing aid on, and heard something funny, like water sloshing. Moved out of the way just in time. "Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Zing 2 #5 November 7, 2007 Sounds like a challenge to me.Zing Lurks Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
airtwardo 6 #6 November 7, 2007 Quote Sounds like a challenge to me. Game ON! ~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~ Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 212 #7 November 7, 2007 Quote Quote Sounds like a challenge to me. Game ON! If there is ANY way I can help let me know - Just ask Pyke how good I am at this stuff.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
billeisele 120 #8 November 7, 2007 Quote Quote Quote don't mess with Airtwardo, I owe him a favor and he might want me to come and attach your feet to your new kitchen floor with my nail gun and the best part is i won't even have to sneak up YEAH! Not so fast boys! Not even a bunch of deaf skydivers could sneak up on me with a cooler full of water and get me wet! Oh yeah, they tried that shit at the first Deaf World Record at San Marcos, Texas in 2001. I had my hearing aid on, and heard something funny, like water sloshing. Moved out of the way just in time. that was 2001, this is 2007 always wear my "no noise" ninja quiet sneak up on your punk ass shoes, once you see the shadow it is too late check the sig line - The Don knowsGive one city to the thugs so they can all live together. I vote for Chicago where they have strict gun laws. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
d_squared431 0 #9 May 11, 2010 This is funny billy.... TPM Sister#130ONTIG#1 I love vodka.I love vodka cause it rhymes with Tuaca~LisaH You having a clean thought is like billyvance having a clean post.iluvtofly Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skyrider 0 #10 May 11, 2010 QuoteSounds like a challenge to me. just keep in mind those aids can cost upwards of 3.000...aim for his body... Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lastchance 0 #11 May 11, 2010 Johns' dad was getting up there in Yrs. and as much as he didn't want to, he guiltily put him in an old folks home. The next day he gets a call from his dad telling him thank you for putting him in this fabulous place. When he asks his dad why he tells him that that morning he woke up with a hard-on and this beautiful nurse nurse came in and gave him a blow job. This makes John feel wonderful. The next day he gets a call from his frantic dad asking him to please get him out of this horrible place. When he asks why , his father explains that he fell down face forward in the hallway and this huge orderly did him up the butt. John tells his dad well yesterday you got a blow job and today you took it up the butt. Sometimes you just have to take the bad with the good. His dad then replies " I understand that son but I get a hard-on about once a month but I fall down a half dozen times a day.": I may be getting old but I got to see all the cool bands. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites