Twoply 0 #1 May 28, 2010 "How many tri-mesters are there?" Add to the list if you want. I like a good laugh. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
iopenhi 0 #2 May 28, 2010 Quote Add to the list if you want. I like a good laugh. Co-worker of mine called one afternoon from out of town. His daughter had a flat tire a few miles from the office. C.W. "Hey, can you help me out? My daughter apparently has a flat. How 'bout run over there and see if you can help. She's not so good with this kind of stuff." Me: No problem. I'll be there in ten minutes. Ten minutes later at the scene of the flat tire debacle... Me: Yup. Flat tire alright. See that screw right here in the (top side of) the tire? Daughter: Oooooooh yes, where did that came from? And why is the tire flat down on the bottom? No shit! I had to walk away for a moment...You can't make chicken salad out of chicken manure. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
kkeenan 13 #3 May 28, 2010 Tell her since it's only flat on the bottom, she can still drive it. _____________________________________ Dude, you are so awesome... Can I be on your ash jump ? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rick 67 #4 May 28, 2010 So my Mom was staying at my sisters house. My sister had seen a commercial on tv for a dentist. On the way out the door she says "Mom if you see that commercial on tv today for 1800dentist can you write down the phone number for me" You can't be drunk all day if you don't start early! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Remster 24 #5 May 28, 2010 Quote"How many tri-mesters are there?" Add to the list if you want. I like a good laugh. Well, it depends! In a tear? A school year? A non-traditional school year?... My high school was set up in 3 trimesters.Remster Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnMitchell 14 #6 May 28, 2010 Quote Well, it depends! In a tear? A school year? A non-traditional school year?... My high school was set up in 3 trimesters. Shirley, you must be kidding.How many trimesters? That's like asking how many halves in a football game. BTW, why do hockey games have 3 halves? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 212 #7 May 28, 2010 Quote "How many tri-mesters are there?" Add to the list if you want. I like a good laugh. Just after kickoff, my grandmother walks up to us (the family) on year during the Superbowl and asks who is playing (I really want to say that it was Baltimore and the Giants XXXV) So we tlod her, and she said OOOhh, What's the score? . . So I told her, it was still 0-0 . . . then she looks me right in the eye and askes, Surprised, REALLY? Who's winning. I spit my beer out.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnDeere 0 #8 May 28, 2010 hmm notice most of these have one thing in common....got some bright women running around Nothing opens like a Deere! You ignorant fool! Checks are for workers! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #9 May 28, 2010 After the movers dropped my parent's new piano down a flight of stairs, my mom pointed out that the piano was never going to sound any good because they'd just broken the sound-board.. The guy looked at her like *she* was a complete moron and said "ma'am.. that has nothing to do with the sound".. "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnMitchell 14 #10 May 28, 2010 Quote After the movers dropped my parent's new piano down a flight of stairs, my mom pointed out that the piano was never going to sound any good because they'd just broken the sound-board.. The guy looked at her like *she* was a complete moron and said "ma'am.. that has nothing to do with the sound".. Piano movers - they probably pick brawn over brains every time. Wow, I'm trying to imagine the sound of a piano being dropped down a flight of stairs. I'm imagining it tumbling and bouncing, just for better effects. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skyrider 0 #11 May 28, 2010 Had a stranger partying with a bunch of is riders back in Mo. (beaver creek) he wanted to run into town for more beer, we were way out in the woods, but he wasn't sure if he has enough gas, Pulls of his cap, and asked (Honestly meening it too) "Anyone got a lighter? " Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
billvon 2,380 #12 May 28, 2010 >My high school was set up in 3 trimesters. My college had three semesters - fall, spring and summer. Words often start losing their original Latin meaning after a while. Heck, someone here may even have a tricuspid valve that does not have three leaves. Fortunately that's not super rare nor very dangerous. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Amazon 7 #13 May 28, 2010 Quote Quote After the movers dropped my parent's new piano down a flight of stairs, my mom pointed out that the piano was never going to sound any good because they'd just broken the sound-board.. The guy looked at her like *she* was a complete moron and said "ma'am.. that has nothing to do with the sound".. Piano movers - they probably pick brawn over brains every time. Wow, I'm trying to imagine the sound of a piano being dropped down a flight of stairs. I'm imagining it tumbling and bouncing, just for better effects. Here ya go John..... a "free" one for you to try that out on Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
strop45 0 #14 May 28, 2010 Watching a disk format....."how many percent are there?"The difference between stupidity and genius is that genius has its limits." -- Albert Einstein Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skyrider 0 #15 May 28, 2010 QuoteWatching a disk format....."how many percent are there?" 1000 according to an interview I heard on TV the other day! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
masterrig 1 #16 May 28, 2010 QuoteHad a stranger partying with a bunch of is riders back in Mo. (beaver creek) he wanted to run into town for more beer, we were way out in the woods, but he wasn't sure if he has enough gas, Pulls of his cap, and asked (Honestly meening it too) "Anyone got a lighter? " A few years ago, when I was hauling propane, I was filling a customer's tank. The owner approached with a cigarette in his mouth. I asked him to either back-off or put the cigarette out. His reply... "If, your're not scared of it... it won't hurt you!" He did put the cigarette out but only at my second request. Chuck Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skyrider 0 #17 May 28, 2010 Quote Quote Had a stranger partying with a bunch of is riders back in Mo. (beaver creek) he wanted to run into town for more beer, we were way out in the woods, but he wasn't sure if he has enough gas, Pulls of his cap, and asked (Honestly meening it too) "Anyone got a lighter? " A few years ago, when I was hauling propane, I was filling a customer's tank. The owner approached with a cigarette in his mouth. I asked him to either back-off or put the cigarette out. His reply... "If, your're not scared of it... it won't hurt you!" He did put the cigarette out but only at my second request. Chuck He thought it was a dog or horse? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
masterrig 1 #18 May 28, 2010 Quote Quote Quote Had a stranger partying with a bunch of is riders back in Mo. (beaver creek) he wanted to run into town for more beer, we were way out in the woods, but he wasn't sure if he has enough gas, Pulls of his cap, and asked (Honestly meening it too) "Anyone got a lighter? " A few years ago, when I was hauling propane, I was filling a customer's tank. The owner approached with a cigarette in his mouth. I asked him to either back-off or put the cigarette out. His reply... "If, your're not scared of it... it won't hurt you!" He did put the cigarette out but only at my second request. Chuck He thought it was a dog or horse? I have no idea. I don't think, intelligence was high on his list of attributes.Chuck Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnMitchell 14 #19 May 28, 2010 Quote Here ya go John..... a "free" one for you to try that out on Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnMitchell 14 #20 May 28, 2010 Quote Had a stranger partying with a bunch of is riders back in Mo. (beaver creek) he wanted to run into town for more beer, we were way out in the woods, but he wasn't sure if he has enough gas, Pulls of his cap, and asked (Honestly meening it too) "Anyone got a lighter? " A crewmember for a little dirt track racing team got seriously burned a few years back down in Centralia, WA doing exactly that.Darwin lurks. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
theonlyski 3 #21 May 28, 2010 QuoteHad a stranger partying with a bunch of is riders back in Mo. (beaver creek) he wanted to run into town for more beer, we were way out in the woods, but he wasn't sure if he has enough gas, Pulls of his cap, and asked (Honestly meening it too) "Anyone got a lighter? " Ya gave him the lighter, didn't you?"I may be a dirty pirate hooker...but I'm not about to go stand on the corner." iluvtofly DPH -7, TDS 578, Muff 5153, SCR 14890 I'm an asshole, and I approve this message Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skyrider 0 #22 May 29, 2010 QuoteQuoteHad a stranger partying with a bunch of is riders back in Mo. (beaver creek) he wanted to run into town for more beer, we were way out in the woods, but he wasn't sure if he has enough gas, Pulls of his cap, and asked (Honestly meening it too) "Anyone got a lighter? " Ya gave him the lighter, didn't you? No...I'm not that stupid... I gave him a box of matches! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
theonlyski 3 #23 May 29, 2010 QuoteQuoteQuoteHad a stranger partying with a bunch of is riders back in Mo. (beaver creek) he wanted to run into town for more beer, we were way out in the woods, but he wasn't sure if he has enough gas, Pulls of his cap, and asked (Honestly meening it too) "Anyone got a lighter? " Ya gave him the lighter, didn't you? No...I'm not that stupid... I gave him a box of matches! Did you atleast give him his sign?"I may be a dirty pirate hooker...but I'm not about to go stand on the corner." iluvtofly DPH -7, TDS 578, Muff 5153, SCR 14890 I'm an asshole, and I approve this message Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
moodyskydiver 0 #24 May 29, 2010 This came from my older sister and believe me, we're never going to let her forget it.When we were younger (I was in grade school and she was in middle school) my mom worked and went to school full-time to get her RN license. At one point during her clinical rotations she was telling us about her experience at a psychiatric facility and that she liked the pet therapy program. My sister, confused yet curious, asked "they have crazy dogs and cats there too?" So shes not exactly amused when I ask if her Boxer has had a "session" with his doctor recently. "...just an earthbound misfit, I." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
happythoughts 0 #25 May 29, 2010 During a hurricane, a common stupidity is newscasts is having the person standing out in the wind/rain to give the update. Really, if the camera looked out the window and we saw the former aluminum roof of a nearby gas station blowing by, we would understand it was windy. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
