0
skymama

Were you in a Fraternity or Sorority?

Recommended Posts

I have a negative opinion of Frats. Yeah, I've heard about the service commitments for do-gooding, but I think that's all just a cover so these drinking clubs won't get in trouble with the schools. And, why anyone would want to submit themselves to being humiliated during hazing and then be friends with the people who did it and turn around and do it to others the next year, is beyond me.

My son is toying with the idea of joining a Frat. Anyone have any experiences with these organizations you want to share?
She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I've been out of the college faternity life for a long time- Sigma Chi early 70's. About like anything else some good and some bad. My experience has been
mostly good, and we had no physical hazing.

I would suggest you go visit the ones your son may
be interested in and get to know the kids involved.

It's like skydiving. Bad news will get the front page much faster than good news.

Remember, you only need two to have a drinking club.:D

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

When I was at Purdue, their stats showed:
- Sorority members had an average GPA above the general average.
- Fraternity members had an average GPA below the general average.

And to answer the Q in the Subject: Hell, no!
I saw nothing in the behavior of the frats that ever caused me to want to be associated with them.:S

"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote

When I was at Purdue, their stats showed:
- Sorority members had an average GPA above the general average.
- Fraternity members had an average GPA below the general average.



At UF, it might be attributed to the awesome test banks Greek members have access to. [:/]

Andrea, I was not into it for similar reasons as you stated, but a lot of my friends were and I did attend a lot of Greek functions and even dated the president of a fraternity. It was my position, as a non-Greek I could still receive all the benefits/pros of the Greek life without having to subject myself to the cons. Anyone can volunteer; one does not need a badge of letters on their shirt to do so.
Paint me in a corner, but my color comes back.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
It really depends on the fraternity... I was in a Fraternity that consisted mostly of engineers, architects and scientists... because of that the environment was not only social but the individuals in the fraternity were motivated to do well in school... and many/most of them are doing very well for themselves...
Livin' on the Edge... sleeping with my rigger's wife...

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
As others have said - good and bad...I joined to get a (clean & cheap) room close to campus without living in the dorm.

The good is there is always something going on...
The bad is there is always something going on...and you may be required to attend. Can be distracting if you can't budget your time well.

Not all the functions revolved around drinking; some sports, community, political and even social learning experiences with other groups made for interesting times.

No hazing...at all.

You have to take it for what it is:
I paid my dues and was welcome - when I stopped paying my dues, I was unwelcome...best friends money can buy.
Z-Flock 8
Discotec Rodriguez

Too bad weapons grade stupidity doesn't lead to sterility.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Yes. Sigma Nu.

He will get from it what he wants. If he wants to party and be crazy, he'll find it. If he want to socialize and enjoy the sport and competetive aspects, he'll find that. If he wants to maintain his focus and drive while adding strong connections to his network and strengthen his resume, he'll be able to do that.

No different from what is called "the college experience", he'll make friends and create lasting relationships and memories that begin and extend beyond the classroom.

Nova
"Even in a world where perfection is unattainable, there's still a difference between excellence and mediocrity." Gary73

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote


I paid my dues and was welcome - when I stopped paying my dues, I was unwelcome...best friends money can buy.



:ph34r:
"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote

It really depends on the fraternity.....



Nope - it depends on the kid

Andrea - did you give your boy the right foundation to make good decisions?

(the answer is yes) - so he's an adult now and he gets to make his own decisions - he'll do fine (or not) no matter where he lives or the friends he chooses (or not)


(I didn't like anything I saw in college about that entire system - but that's just an opinion)

...
Driving is a one dimensional activity - a monkey can do it - being proud of your driving abilities is like being proud of being able to put on pants

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Yes- Pi Kappa Alpha!

To relate it to skydiving terms, you don't judge the sport based on the reports of a few bonehead DZ's or Skyride do you? This is the same way with Fraternities, yes there are some bonehead chapters in all fraternities, I was fortunate enough to belong to a chapter where hazing was not allowed, our GPA average was 3.1 (135 members) and we won almost all sporting, and academic events, the majority of the basketball players and some football players were members. You have to know the chapter just like you know a DZ going in, some you run from, some you Jump.

Andrea, your opinion i think is based on what you read in newspapers, once again compare it to skydivng, what publicity do you see about our sport in the press, the bad! I chuckle at the drinking club analogy, what happens at the DZ at sundown everynight? Yes most fraternities have parties, we held parties in the early 90's that are still talked about, but we also knew how to balance it with high academic standards that if you didn't achieve you were not allowed to party.
Like i have seen you give advice before on here to not judge the sport by what you read in the newspaper about one or two bonehead things by a DZ, please don't judge all fraternities by one or two rogue chapters.

What school is your son attending? What fraternity is he looking at. Because of fraternal connections and friendships, I have friends that are VP's and high up at several Florida institutions, if you want the real scoop on that fraternity i can find out real quick for you.

I will end with a funny saying i heard once, You don't call your country a CUNT, please don't call my Fraternity a FRAT! HA!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Everybody partys in college. Fraternities and Sororities are just able to organize them a hell of a lot better. They have the resources. As far as the Hazing, a good program builds comradreship these organizations require. . .a good program. I was a Theta Chi in college, so I am going to talk positive, of course.

The average Fraternity is about 150 years old. Practically all of them originated from the 1800's and the bulk starting in the time frame from the Civil War to the Great Depression. Lots of history and Traditions.

As far as experience? For every person that gets in trouble and party to excess till they drop out, there are others who actually put in the hard work of managing the generations old organizations. These groups do not stay online by accident. It requires a good amount of leadership and initiative.

You can be busy. Along with the studying, you have your piece of the responsibility to perform. And with 50 to 100 people with the same goals as you have to hang around with, you probably will not have much more time to hang out with other people. Some people will call you snobby, but you have more important things to worry about. You are not "buying friends", you have to pay dues. The same people that you join up with would essentially be the same type of people you would hang out with if the Fraternity did not exist. If they don't think you will hack it in there, or if they straight out don't like you, no amount of money will buy your way in.

I will always recommend joining a Fraternity. It's part of the college experience, it creates legacy for your kids, makes things easier and cheaper to be a part of like community projects, socials, formals, intramural sports and usually, an important part of the voting student body. Our Intra Fraternal Councils (think the U.N. of Fraternities and Sororities) was able to bring in popular bands to play in our football stadiums(ex. eagles, Blind mellon,(yup, aging myself here)) run the homecomings, pre-post football, basketball game events.
_____________________________

"The trouble with quotes on the internet is that you can never know if they are genuine" - Abraham Lincoln

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
He's attending FSU. I don't know if there is a particular one he's interested in, I don't think he knows enough about the system yet to have a favorite. We just got back from Orientation yesterday, so I haven't yet had time to check out the IFC site.
She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I'll try not to make this too long...
I haven't been out of college that long (graduated in 2003). I joined a fraternity my second semester my freshman year. The reason: I wasn't enjoying my school much at all. My first semester, I went out a good bit, did things with my roommates, etc. But I didn't meet many people at all and every weekend was the same thing.
After meeting some of my future fraternity brothers at a party early in my second semester, I rushed a couple fraternities and eventually settled on the same one that the guys I met belong to (Pi Kappa Phi - Alpha Chapter). Probably one of the best choices I made at college. I met tons more people, had many more options on the weekends, and most importantly, made really good friends.

There are tons of myths out there about fraternties. You've mentioned the drinking and hazing. As a pledge, I wasn't hazed at all. We were required to attend study hall 2-3 times per week, did activities with only my pledge brothers and also with the whole chapter. In the end, we realized that all of it was designed to make you a better person, better friend, and develop trust and respect for others. We were never forced to do anything (including drinking) we didn't want to do.

My second year, I lived in an apartment that had been passed down for 10 years through the fraternity and paid almost nothing in rent b/c of the contacts that previous brothers and alumni had made. I made contacts with fraternity alumni that were US Senators, state congressmen, school Board of Trustee members, and tons of local businessmen. It was great for networking later.

Finally, the last point I will make is that yes, there are parties..some big, most small weekend parties that you would see almost anywhere on campus. But that isn't what it was all about. At my wedding 3 out of my 5 groomsmen were fraternity brothers. At least 10 other fraternity brothers were guests. I remain very good friends with those guys even though I rarely see them. However, I know that at any moment I could call one of them up and ask for help and they wouldn't hesitate. Those friendships werent' built by beating each other with paddles, forcing each other to drink until we need our stomachs pumped, and treating each other like shit as pledges. I also didn't think of it as buying friends...I paid my share of the expenses that it takes to keep the fraternity running and being able to have events.

I would recommend that your son go through rush, ask questions about his concerns, and if he feels like he fits in a particular house, then join. I've been to our chapter house at FSU years ago and I was impressed with them. Please feel free to PM me if you have any questions.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote

I would recommend that your son go through rush, ask questions about his concerns, and if he feels like he fits in a particular house, then join. I've been to our chapter house at FSU years ago and I was impressed with them. Please feel free to PM me if you have any questions.

Sounds like good advice. Either that, or you could watch Animal House. It's a documentary, you know :P

That said, I went to a school with no sororities or fraternities; just residence halls that you were a member of. That was a great alternative for me.

Wendy P.
There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I never joined a Frat, but years later, I worked for a company and the CTO was someone I respected. He told me he was in a Frat in college. Then he told me that he once took an entire semester off of school, and his only plan was to sit in the basement of the Frat, and smoke pot all day. So that's what he did for an entire semester, nothing else. Next semester, he resumed his studies and later graduated. I don't know if that has anything to do with Fraternities in general, but I think the story is funny.
Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
I just got out of college a few years ago and as a memeber of a fraternity there for 3 years. Overall you are correct with the assumption that there is a lot of partying and drinking that goes on...however there is the whole other side that you touched on with the community service and accademics. My fraternity posted above average GPA for the campus, as well as earning top honors for the fraternity nationally 2 years while i was there. Part of the admissions required the pledge to have a certain GPA and they had to have the right character that we were looking for. If you have any questions most fraternities have points of contact....and a lot of times you can contact the school to inquire about their GPA or status on campus as far as being in trouble or such.
Overall i would really recommend it if he is interested

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote

I have a negative opinion of Frats. Yeah, I've heard about the service commitments for do-gooding, but I think that's all just a cover so these drinking clubs won't get in trouble with the schools. And, why anyone would want to submit themselves to being humiliated during hazing and then be friends with the people who did it and turn around and do it to others the next year, is beyond me.

My son is toying with the idea of joining a Frat. Anyone have any experiences with these organizations you want to share?



Yep. A local fraternity at my school, DDT. They joined the national fraternity, Theta Xi, after I left school. Great bunch of guys (as far as engineers go!). :)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote

I've been in a few members of sororities, Does that count?



soitenly!

In the 60's at my school we had to import sorority girls from the local junior college to have our parties. (well,...we did if we wanted to have any fun at the parties.)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

in my experience they are state-sponsored gangs, hate-encouraging substance abuse clubs that trick themselves into thinking they are "helping".

Brothers for life, sure, but I prefer brothers I do not have to pay for. And my brothers do not encourage gang rape or date rape on a weekly basis.

Vandalized a lot of Frat houses, that's for sure.

Worked in a sorority house kitchen for a while. Those were good days. Girl-only house parties were catered by me. we win. :ph34r::ph34r::ph34r:

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Tell him not to waste is time, its Hey Day was in the 30's-40's and 50's. Its an ugly scene now,,my daughter just graduated last year, my deal with her was we would pay 100 %of her college if she stayed away from that scene. She did and then thanked us for it. But good luck anyway.....:P

smile, be nice, enjoy life
FB # - 1083

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

0