billeisele 122 #26 June 8, 2010 QuoteAnother way to approach it is to tactfully ask your non-infected friend how he/she is handling birth control. You can tactfully let the person know that it may be a good idea to use condoms in addition to already said birth control. You can also tactfully mention that sometimes, someone may say he/she is clean of disease, but may not be. the aftermath of this would be an interesting convo: uhhh, we have this mutual friend that told me I should be using a protective barrier when I'm with you, is there anything I should know about?? this is an interesting dilemma with no clear answer, go with your gut, make the a decision you can live with regardless of the outcome some folks would opt for an unsigned letter or email from an unknown gmail account, it gets the word out and protects your IDGive one city to the thugs so they can all live together. I vote for Chicago where they have strict gun laws. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skymama 35 #27 June 8, 2010 QuoteHow do YOU know that they aren't already aware of it. Are you so privy their everyones private info that you know the intimate details of their relationship? Like I said before, I was asked to post this for someone else.She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man, because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nutz 0 #28 June 8, 2010 Maybe the one friend already told the other friend and they left you out of the loop? I would give the infected friend a chance to tell the other friend before I told them - make sure you give them a time limit. Does any of this make sense? "Don't! Get! Eliminated!" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
AggieDave 6 #29 June 8, 2010 Quote How do YOU know that they aren't already aware of it. Are you so privy their everyones private info that you know the intimate details of their relationship? Special Greenie powers, they're more powerful than you though! Besides, she read about it in someone else's PM's... --"When I die, may I be surrounded by scattered chrome and burning gasoline." Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Squeak 17 #30 June 8, 2010 Quote Quote How do YOU know that they aren't already aware of it. Are you so privy their everyones private info that you know the intimate details of their relationship? Special Greenie powers, they're more powerful than you though! Besides, she read about it in someone else's PM's... What ever happened to the old adage. MIND YOU OWN DAMNED BUSSINESSYou are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky) My Life ROCKS! How's yours doing? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Remster 24 #31 June 8, 2010 It's none of your business.Remster Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
burtonjm 0 #32 June 8, 2010 There were two girls at my school who were roommates and they both caught herpes from one of the hockey players. For the remainder of the year they had a competition to see which one of them could give it to the most guys.This shit, right here, is OK Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jtnesbitt 0 #33 June 8, 2010 Interesting question and puts the person asking it in a unique position. I'm not sure on the law but i believe the CDC strongly encourages if not requires someone with an STD to disclose it to their partners. The prob is the person asking this question ISNT the person with the STD....and disclosing someone else's medical information to a third party without explicit permission IS quite illegal. So, even though this is a morale dilemma...one of the options is illegal and prosecutable."If this post needs to be moderated I would prefer it to be completly removed and not edited and butchered into a disney movie" - DorkZone Hero Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
d_squared431 0 #34 June 8, 2010 QuoteInteresting question and puts the person asking it in a unique position. I'm not sure on the law but i believe the CDC strongly encourages if not requires someone with an STD to disclose it to their partners. The prob is the person asking this question ISNT the person with the STD....and disclosing someone else's medical information to a third party without explicit permission IS quite illegal. So, even though this is a morale dilemma...one of the options is illegal and prosecutable. If both people are agreeing to have sex then both people have accepted the risks that come with it. People need to take responsibility for their actions and then learn to protect themselves from contracting and spreading STDS.TPM Sister#130ONTIG#1 I love vodka.I love vodka cause it rhymes with Tuaca~LisaH You having a clean thought is like billyvance having a clean post.iluvtofly Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DiverMike 5 #35 June 8, 2010 Quote...and disclosing someone else's medical information to a third party without explicit permission IS quite illegal. It is not illegal to disclose the information if it is something you learned that was not part of a health care provider - patient relationship. You can say you saw red bumps or weeping sores on his/her private parts the same way you can say you saw them with a runny nose yesterday. If the information was disclosed to you outside of a patient/provider relationship you can pass it on. If you went through the trash and found a prescription for 'genital-herpes-be-gone' and disclosed to a third party , you might be in trouble. For the same reason I jump off a perfectly good diving board. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skyrider 0 #36 June 8, 2010 Quote So, you found out an acquaintance/friend is shacking up with someone you know has herpes. You'll also friends with the infected person and don't want to piss them off by telling their business. Do you tell your friend the risk or do you just stay out of it and hope that the infected person tells the truth? Is there any question? You are obligated tio every person they may know it the future to tell them, If the infected person hasn't infromed them , I'd kick their ass! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bolas 5 #37 June 8, 2010 QuoteQuoteThe "right" thing to do is to tell your infected friend that they have to do the right thing and let their partner know the truth. Then tell them that if they do not do so, then you will do it for them. +1 +2Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
guppie01 0 #38 June 8, 2010 Firstly, why don't people protect themselves and ask these questions when getting involved with a new partner... I'm amazed at how many people don't even consider this, then want to pass blame when something bad happens to them - don't be naive in this day and age... Secondly, if there is a geniune concern talk to the infected person and remind said person they should be honest with any / all potential partners. g "Let's do something romantic this Saturday... how bout we bust out the restraints?" Raddest Ho this side of Jersey #1 - MISS YOU OMG, is she okay? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Andy9o8 0 #39 June 8, 2010 I'm still on the fence with this. Let me ask this (to anyone): Suppose you're aware (by whatever reason) that someone you know has an STD. You also have an ongoing general awareness of their social and dating life. Does that mean that every time you're aware that they're dating someone, or even about to go on a gate, that you have a continuing moral obligation to "follow" their life around and make sure they never transmit their STD? Taken to its logical extreme, it gets ridiculous. Where does it end? -------------- Separate question: How do you know that a person with an STD isn't making sure that a condom is being used? Is it fair to presume that it is not? Is it reasonable to "check" that it is? ------- Third question: Suppose a person decides to "do the right thing", and in the process winds up ruining someone else's romantic relationship (which to them may very well equate ruining their life). Why should the person whose relationship just got ruined not seriously contemplate taking the "teller", binding him up hands and feet, weighing him down with cinder blocks and tossing him into deep water? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DiverMike 5 #40 June 8, 2010 I suppose it falls under the NIMBY rule (Not in my Backyard). If it is a friend who could get hurt, I am more likely to take proactive steps to make sure it doesn't happen. I am less likely to protect a stranger from themselves if they don't ask the appropriate questions before becoming sexually active. If you lay down with dogs, you may get fleas. And the infected person can contemplate whatever he/she wants as long as they don't act on it. For the same reason I jump off a perfectly good diving board. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Southern_Man 0 #41 June 8, 2010 Quote It is not illegal to disclose the information if it is something you learned that was not part of a health care provider - patient relationship. You can say you saw red bumps or weeping sores on his/her private parts the same way you can say you saw them with a runny nose yesterday. If the information was disclosed to you outside of a patient/provider relationship you can pass it on. If you went through the trash and found a prescription for 'genital-herpes-be-gone' and disclosed to a third party , you might be in trouble. I was going to post about the patient-provider part, but you beat me to it. I don't think you could get in trouble in the 2nd part either, at least not for telling a 3rd party they had herpes meds. Maybe if you trespassed on their property to dig through the trash you could get in trouble w/ the trespass. Even if their trash is sitting out, though, the Supremes have ruled that a person has no expectation or right to privacy in their trash."What if there were no hypothetical questions?" Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
PLFXpert 0 #42 June 8, 2010 Normally, I am a vault with personal information and pay no attention to others' business, much less share my own. In this difficult scenario, however, I am reminded of one of my favorite aphorisms: "With knowledge comes responsibility." When it comes to an incurable disease, me thinks it is responsible to protect someone from contracting it if you can. Good luck!Paint me in a corner, but my color comes back. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Madison 0 #43 June 8, 2010 Mind your own business?? It's a STD that is knowingly being spread!!! I'd tell an enemy that f*cking information, come on! Aren't we all part of the same society?? STDs are everyone's problem and don't care about friendships. I've had to tell a friend the chic he was banging had the herp. Had to: because it's the right thing to do. I found out she had the herp because she told me around the bonfire when she was drunk. She had already been sleeping with my friend who was unaware. She made it my business, and nothing I ever wanted to have to tell a friend, that's for sure. He appreciated it that I told him, although not what I told him. As far as betraying her trust: Guess how much I care about betraying a liars' trust? She lost my respect, not when she told me she had a STD, but when she didn't tell my friend she was banging that she had a STD. I don't respect that whatsoever, so where does my loyalty lie? With the human race, since because of this completely irresponsible behavior we all have to deal with 1 in 5 having herpes. Not telling someone you are having sex with that you have a STD is a f*cking lie, not some special secret that your friends are assholes for not keeping. The future depends on us acting, not on us 'minding our own business' when it comes to the preventable spread of disease. If your mouth is always too full to tell your partner that when they shove it in another orifice they will have fire-dick for the rest of their life, then you should have "I Have Herpes" tattooed on your goddamn neck. Time for me to go back into remission Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
rehmwa 2 #44 June 8, 2010 So anyway - you know this person who has a knife, and they are planning to go hiking with a friend of yours and while out hiking they plan to sneak up and use the knife to slice up your friend's legs...... what do you do? I'm torn, it's really none of my business, but crippling your friend seems to be a bit mean. ... Driving is a one dimensional activity - a monkey can do it - being proud of your driving abilities is like being proud of being able to put on pants Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skyrider 0 #45 June 8, 2010 Looking at the numbers in the pole, I have a feeling there are 20 people(so far) that voted, that probably have herpies (the mind your own business crowd) This IS everyone's business! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 212 #46 June 8, 2010 Quote Looking at the numbers in the pole, I have a feeling there are 20 people(so far) that voted, that probably have herpies (the mind your own business crowd) This IS everyone's business! You like looking at poles?The QUESTION is who put those numbers on the pole you are looking at.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
guppie01 0 #47 June 8, 2010 Quote Quote Looking at the numbers in the pole, I have a feeling there are 20 people(so far) that voted, that probably have herpies (the mind your own business crowd) This IS everyone's business! You like looking at poles?The QUESTION is who put those numbers on the pole you are looking at. SMART ASS! g"Let's do something romantic this Saturday... how bout we bust out the restraints?" Raddest Ho this side of Jersey #1 - MISS YOU OMG, is she okay? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
skyrider 0 #48 June 8, 2010 Quote Quote Looking at the numbers in the pole, I have a feeling there are 20 people(so far) that voted, that probably have herpies (the mind your own business crowd) This IS everyone's business! You like looking at poles?The QUESTION is who put those numbers on the pole you are looking at. My typing skills, (lack of) catch up to me once again! Atleast I don;t have herpies, and can apreciate a skinny 20 yearold! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Shotgun 1 #49 June 8, 2010 Quote(the mind your own business crowd) This IS everyone's business! I have several friends who have herpes (that I am aware of), and I don't make it my business to go around informing everyone else about it. But I'm pretty sure they are the type of people who would be honest about it before having sex with someone. And that information wasn't given in the OP - whether the person tends to be honest or not. Also, I seem to recall reading that something like one in four people has herpes. So it's probably a good idea to be protecting oneself until certain that a sex partner does not have STDs. (But I definitely wouldn't want to have a relationship with anyone who was not upfront about such things.) Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bolas 5 #50 June 8, 2010 But what if they're not sober enough to say that? I like Madison's tattoo idea. "There was this naked passed out person, then I saw the tattoo..." Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
