Nataly 38 #76 July 1, 2010 Maybe instead of just telling her how you feel, do that *and* ask her to tell her point of view. Try to ask questions instead of just going into a rant/lecture - understanding "why" someone behaves a certain way can help.. If the intention is good, sometimes it can really change the way you feel about something they do/say.. Remember - a good conversation involves talking *and* listening.. So make sure she has room to speak/respond/react as much as you do. Last but not least: if you're going to discuss some complex issues, remember to gives yourselves time to think about a it because a solution may not be immediately obvious.. Sometimes a discussion turns sour because you focus so much on the fact that you "disagree", when actually you haven't even given yourselves enough time/perspective to look at the problem from different angles.. If you're going to talk about some big issues, there's nothing wrong with agreeing to discuss it, with the view that you will both take some time to think about how best to resolve the issue(s) and revisit the topic after a few days/weeks. Good luck whatever you decide.."There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jonstark 8 #77 July 2, 2010 QuoteOur engagement was also 90% due to pressure - either get engaged or break up. CUT AWAY! NOW!!! Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Squeak 17 #78 July 2, 2010 Quote Quote Our engagement was also 90% due to pressure - either get engaged or break up. CUT AWAY! NOW!!! LOL nothing like an ultimatum to show how much you care I agree with Jon, it's got doomed written all over itYou are not now, nor will you ever be, good enough to not die in this sport (Sparky) My Life ROCKS! How's yours doing? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
madhatter 0 #79 July 18, 2010 OK, so after a few discussions the past 3 weeks, we decided today to break the engagement. As I've admitted, I was very frustrated when posting this poll, but the issues were real. Crappy thing is we actually had one of our best weekends together before having a chat this afternoon and deciding to call it quits... A nice, abstinent (), weekend where we both enjoyed ourselves because we were sharing the moment... We both realise we're very different, priorities, hobbies, passions differ, but it still SUCKS having to break up. Just wanted to say thanks for the support I got from you guys and feel sorry for myself a little bit. A VERY MERRY UNBIRTHDAY TO YOU!!! D.S # 125 Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Nataly 38 #80 July 18, 2010 I can't say I'm surprised you had a lovely weekend... The BEST holiday I've ever had was *just* before my long-term boyfriend and I split. I think on some level we knew it was over, so didn't want to ruin the trip.. I'm so sorry to hear things didn't work out, but I do think if you're spending all your time doubting something instead of enjoying it.. Well.. It's not good.. As long as you have followed your gut, it's likely you've done the right thing. It will hurt less in time.. "There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse." - Chris Hadfield « Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. » - my boss Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 34 #81 July 19, 2010 Cool deal. "Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnMitchell 14 #82 July 19, 2010 The right woman for you is out there. You just haven't met her yet. It took me years to find mine. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
BillyVance 34 #83 July 19, 2010 Quote The right woman for you is out there. You just haven't met her yet. It took me years to find mine. The Brokeback Mitchells? "Mediocre people don't like high achievers, and high achievers don't like mediocre people." - SIX TIME National Champion coach Nick Saban Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnMitchell 14 #84 July 19, 2010 Quote The Brokeback Mitchells? Howdy, howdy. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
sinjin 0 #85 July 19, 2010 good for you for making the tough but seemed like obvious choice. good luck on your journey !!!dont let life pass you by Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
davjohns 1 #86 July 19, 2010 [Sniff.] [Wipe away a tear.] I love happy endings.I know it just wouldnt be right to kill all the stupid people that we meet.. But do you think it would be appropriate to just remove all of the warning labels and let nature take its course. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
OlympiaStoica 0 #87 July 19, 2010 QuoteQuoteOur engagement was also 90% due to pressure - either get engaged or break up. CUT AWAY! NOW!!! +1 That in itself is a clear indication that this is not "quite right" ... O Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ryoder 1,381 #88 July 19, 2010 Quote The right woman for you is out there. You just haven't met her yet. It took me years to find mine. That pic is so wrong."There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Remster 24 #89 July 19, 2010 Quote Quote The right woman for you is out there. You just haven't met her yet. It took me years to find mine. That pic is so wrong. But admit it, you're a little turned on... Remster Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ryoder 1,381 #90 July 19, 2010 Quote Quote Quote The right woman for you is out there. You just haven't met her yet. It took me years to find mine. That pic is so wrong. But admit it, you're a little turned on... Well, sure; It's V!But the repulsion of seeing whiskers...."There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieByTheSea 0 #91 July 19, 2010 Quote Jealousy is a huge red flag. You can try applying tincture of time (i.e. keep things at no more than the current level), but if she starts to want to escalate it's time to cut away. If nothing else, you're her rebound relationship. Let her figure herself out first. And you have a lot on your own plate with a new business (congratulations) Wendy P. +1 Jealously is a huge red flag on many levels. And it is really annoying on more levels. "Nature is cruel, but we don't have to be." ~ Temple Grandin Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieByTheSea 0 #92 July 19, 2010 Quote Turtle is right - how can we make this assessment unless we can see how hot she is (or is not)? Seven years he waited? Hot! "Nature is cruel, but we don't have to be." ~ Temple Grandin Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CarrieByTheSea 0 #93 July 19, 2010 Quote Quote - I recently opened a wine bar, part of a dream that's been coming almost 10 years. Now I'm not available to give constant attention, spend all her free time with her and there's extreme jealousy regarding the female clients that come to the bar. Quick side note - I've been in sales for 7 years - clients aren't always right, but I always try to keep them happy. Now, just because I smile at someone whilst chatting to them, I would rather be sleeping with them... WTF? - I'm financially over extended due to starting up a new business, so we can't go out as often as she'd like, or go shopping as we did a few months ago. 9 out of 10 comments seem to be how she's tired of struggling and not being able to enjoy her life. First of all mate, I'm sorry to hear this. And I'm sorry I voted "Get the hell outta there!" but here is my reasons. First of all.... The jealousy... Do you honestly believe that will improove and she will become less jealous? Second.... You are "financially over extended"... And she have a problem with you not taking her out as often as you did before... Sorry mate but she sounds like a spoiled teen.... I truly believe that you should let this one go.... ASAP... Nothing to say, except I love when wrong is right. "Nature is cruel, but we don't have to be." ~ Temple Grandin Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnMitchell 14 #94 July 20, 2010 Quote That pic is so wrong. Okay, is this better? Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ryoder 1,381 #95 July 20, 2010 Quote Quote That pic is so wrong. Okay, is this better? Ah! That's more like it!"There are only three things of value: younger women, faster airplanes, and bigger crocodiles" - Arthur Jones. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 212 #96 July 20, 2010 Swoon.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
davjohns 1 #97 July 20, 2010 John, I have a rule against lusting after women who are taken and I respect you both, but you are making this more difficult than it has to be. And you are my hero. :)I know it just wouldnt be right to kill all the stupid people that we meet.. But do you think it would be appropriate to just remove all of the warning labels and let nature take its course. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnMitchell 14 #98 July 20, 2010 Quote And you are my hero. :) That's too high of praise, Especially from a man doing the job you do. Let's just say I'm a damn lucky bastard and leave it at that. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
JohnMitchell 14 #99 July 20, 2010 Quote Swoon. You ought to make it to our DZ Christmas parties. There's a bunch of beautiful sky ladies all dressed up like that. Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
turtlespeed 212 #100 July 20, 2010 Quote Quote Swoon. You ought to make it to our DZ Christmas parties. There's a bunch of beautiful sky ladies all dressed up like that. I went to L4L . . . it's your turn - you should come to Texas.I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun Quote Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
