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npgraphicdesign

If Apple made parachutes....

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- it would cost twice as much as other brand names
- it would be only covered by warranty for 1 year
- you could service it ONLY with apple for an outrageous price
- you couldn't repair it if it broke, you could only buy another new one
- you couldn't skydive anywhere but Apple-designated DZs

What else? :ph34r::D



You have to use an Apple approved container, reserve and an AAD running iOS 4 at the minimum.

If it malfunctions, you have to take it to a 'Genius' that doesn't know anything about it that's not covered in the troubleshooting book. Not to mention the repack will cost $300 because "There's less Apple Genius' than there are FAA riggers." Demand is high!

You can only order 2 colors, black and white.



And they would redesign the deployment 'bag' to not only work differently than similar products on the market but it would also only accept Apple canopies...and you would have to pay them a buck every time you packed it.

To set themselves apart they would revive an old skydiving term for the devise, calling this new 'bag' a 'Pod'....an iPod! :ph34r:










~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

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- it would cost twice as much as other brand names
- it would be only covered by warranty for 1 year
- you could service it ONLY with apple for an outrageous price
- you couldn't repair it if it broke, you could only buy another new one
- you couldn't skydive anywhere but Apple-designated DZs

What else? :ph34r::D



You have to use an Apple approved container, reserve and an AAD running iOS 4 at the minimum.

If it malfunctions, you have to take it to a 'Genius' that doesn't know anything about it that's not covered in the troubleshooting book. Not to mention the repack will cost $300 because "There's less Apple Genius' than there are FAA riggers." Demand is high!

You can only order 2 colors, black and white.



And they would redesign the deployment 'bag' to not only work differently than similar products on the market but it would also only accept Apple canopies...and you would have to pay them a buck every time you packed it.

To set themselves apart they would revive an old skydiving term for the devise, calling this new 'bag' a 'Pod'....an iPod! :ph34r:



Not to mention the sizes of the bags! Just think:
iPod Classic (for shooting classic accuracy)
iPod Nano (for the swoopers)

It would take an iRigger just to be able to pack the iPods!

Every year when the new iRig is announced, your state of the art model will be obsolete.

On the demonstration jump, the iRig would fail to open and you will get an explaination of 'Its never done that before' or 'Is anyone else using their iRigs right now?'
"I may be a dirty pirate hooker...but I'm not about to go stand on the corner." iluvtofly
DPH -7, TDS 578, Muff 5153, SCR 14890
I'm an asshole, and I approve this message

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- it would cost twice as much as other brand names
- it would be only covered by warranty for 1 year
- you could service it ONLY with apple for an outrageous price
- you couldn't repair it if it broke, you could only buy another new one
- you couldn't skydive anywhere but Apple-designated DZs

What else? :ph34r::D



You have to use an Apple approved container, reserve and an AAD running iOS 4 at the minimum.

If it malfunctions, you have to take it to a 'Genius' that doesn't know anything about it that's not covered in the troubleshooting book. Not to mention the repack will cost $300 because "There's less Apple Genius' than there are FAA riggers." Demand is high!

You can only order 2 colors, black and white.



And they would redesign the deployment 'bag' to not only work differently than similar products on the market but it would also only accept Apple canopies...and you would have to pay them a buck every time you packed it.

To set themselves apart they would revive an old skydiving term for the devise, calling this new 'bag' a 'Pod'....an iPod! :ph34r:



Not to mention the sizes of the bags! Just think:
iPod Classic (for shooting classic accuracy)
iPod Nano (for the swoopers)

It would take an iRigger just to be able to pack the iPods!

Every year when the new iRig is announced, your state of the art model will be obsolete.

On the demonstration jump, the iRig would fail to open and you will get an explaination of 'Its never done that before' or 'Is anyone else using their iRigs right now?'



:D

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Well, if Microsoft made parachutes . . . Blue Screen of Death would be a lot more than just a metaphor.



You'd probably find this printed on the bottom of the slider.



hahahahahahaha!!!!! that is a great one!:)

"Some call it heavenly in it's brilliance,
others mean and rueful of the western dream"

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If apple made parachutes:

Non apple parachute owners who know what they're doing will continue to use and maintain their rigs with little to no issues, yet every time they're packing it some apple parachute owner will annoyingly go on about how awesome and trendy their parachute is, and how you should get one too.

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Apple containers would be stable enough to accomodate other parachutes but work best with Apple-made parachutes and AADs



Please! My girlfriend's MacBook Pro drops wireless connection all the time while my Windows and Linux machines continue working perfectly fine. If Apply made parachutes, I believe that the toggles would fall off at times, but be relatively simple to re-attach in flight with no more than a minute or so of effort.

If Apple made parachutes, they would:

  • be pretty and easy to fly safely, but also be square, with gentle turns, a flat glide and high front riser pressure to prevent you from doing silly/dangerous things like high performance landings.
  • be locked so that they could only accept upgrades and modifications, such as sliders, RDS, etc that were approved by Apple. Of course, there would be kits you could buy online from certain anonymous riggers that would circumvent these restrictions but Apple would suggest that this adversely affected their ability to provide you with a safe skydiving experience.
  • use welds for all seams and line attachments. Stitching is unsightly and besides, by the time you need a new lineset, you'll be more interested in upgrading to the iChute 7Q.
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    -be 90% less likely to have malfunctions

    BUT oh those 10% would be catastrophic beyond belief



    Catastrophic beyond belief, kind of like THIS?




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    -open quickly but smoothly EVERYTIME.

    You have not heard a Mac that willnot boot yet have you... it makes a VERY pathetic sound:ph34r::ph34r:




    Would it sound Kind of like THIS?
    :D
    "It's just skydiving..additional drama is not required"
    Some people dream about flying, I live my dream
    SKYMONKEY PUBLISHING

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    If apple made parachutes:

    Non apple parachute owners who know what they're doing will continue to use and maintain their rigs with little to no issues, yet every time they're packing it some apple parachute owner will annoyingly go on about how awesome and trendy their parachute is, and how you should get one too.



    This is so true, the most annoying thing about the Apple Rig would not be the rig itself, but the owner trying to constantly convince you (or themselves) just how great it is. Or just how well it does useless menial tasks.
    :D

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    How many times ya gonna post that pic?:P



    He will probably post it a few more time just since you asked so nicely.... :P
    TPM Sister#130ONTIG#1
    I love vodka.I love vodka cause it rhymes with Tuaca~LisaH
    You having a clean thought is like billyvance having a clean post.iluvtofly

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    I have never seen that screen before, ever,on my Mac. Thanks for sharing that, it's like a hidden easter egg on a DVD.:)


    While it's more rare than the windows BSOD, kernel panics *do* happen.
    Mike
    I love you, Shannon and Jim.
    POPS 9708 , SCR 14706

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    Well, if Microsoft made parachutes . . . Blue Screen of Death would be a lot more than just a metaphor.



    You'd probably find this printed on the bottom of the slider.



    +1!
    "The mouse does not know life until it is in the mouth of the cat."

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