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skymama

Is it OK to use a coupon on a first date?

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Yes, mortified... Mainly humiliated. I wouldn't be offended, just embarrassed.



I think that you find that embarrassing because you are still very young. While I've never had a date use a coupon to pay, I would not care how my date pays. With my ex, I would encourage saving whenever we could. As a single person, I have often talked my dates out of going to an expensive "it" restaurant and recommended a little hole-in-the-wall for some Thai food or Pho. I would prefer a man cooking for me at his place (which is always an awesome surprise), rather than going to a to-be-seen restaurant. That doesn't mean that I will always turn down going to an incredible restaurant. It's nice to get dolled up in a dress and heels every so often.

Sure, some of those restaurants are fun to explore every so often, but what is most important is a having a good person's company and enjoying great food together. That does not always have to cost a fortune. Besides, it's more fun to laugh together over funny events, than to be embarrassed by something as insignificant as a coupon. To be humiliated by something so small is pointless. There are more important things in life to worry about.

Be well, Caitlin. :)

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I maintain my position that using a coupon on a first date is BEYOND tacky.



Do you maintain your position that you would be mortified if your boyfriend of 2.5 years used a coupon?



probably so but not mortified enough to pick up the tab herself
Give one city to the thugs so they can all live together. I vote for Chicago where they have strict gun laws.

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I maintain my position that using a coupon on a first date is BEYOND tacky.



Do you maintain your position that you would be mortified if your boyfriend of 2.5 years used a coupon?


probably so but not mortified enough to pick up the tab herself


I pay as frequently as he will let me, which is probably 40% of the time (and I wouldn't dare use a coupon ;)).

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Yes, mortified... Mainly humiliated. I wouldn't be offended, just embarrassed.



I think that you find that embarrassing because you are still very young. While I've never had a date use a coupon to pay, I would not care how my date pays. With my ex, I would encourage saving whenever we could. As a single person, I have often talked my dates out of going to an expensive "it" restaurant and recommended a little hole-in-the-wall for some Thai food or Pho. I would prefer a man cooking for me at his place (which is always an awesome surprise), rather than going to a to-be-seen restaurant. That doesn't mean that I will always turn down going to an incredible restaurant. It's nice to get dolled up in a dress and heels every so often.

Sure, some of those restaurants are fun to explore every so often, but what is most important is a having a good person's company and enjoying great food together. That does not always have to cost a fortune. Besides, it's more fun to laugh together over funny events, than to be embarrassed by something as insignificant as a coupon. To be humiliated by something so small is pointless. There are more important things in life to worry about.

Be well, Caitlin. :)


I am still very young- but I agree completely! I am a home person- but dressing up here and there is fun as well. I don't date guys for their wallet size- so if a guy needs to pull a coupon out- so be it! Would not embarass me in the slightest.

I will admit though- if we go to a nice place and he pays in all change- okay- well- I am going to laugh hysterically and be slightly embarassed.
I woke up next to a blowup doll Ash....so what do you think?

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Paying less, in general, is a good thing... Taking out a coupon in a restaurant, especially on a first date, is however, IMO, tacky. Very tacky



You're looking at it with the wrong viewpoint. Don't think of it as being cheap and tacky, think of it as someone increasing their disposable income. ;)

Let's say your date has a fixed amount of bills and a fixed income and there's no way he has time to add another job to his day. What's the best way for him to pay for that weekend getaway with this hot chick he just started dating? He needs to increase his disposable income, which means spending less on things like dinner. You just never know the reason why someone might be whipping out that coupon!
She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon

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Paying less, in general, is a good thing... Taking out a coupon in a restaurant, especially on a first date, is however, IMO, tacky. Very tacky



You're looking at it with the wrong viewpoint. Don't think of it as being cheap and tacky, think of it as someone increasing their disposable income. ;)

Let's say your date has a fixed amount of bills and a fixed income and there's no way he has time to add another job to his day. What's the best way for him to pay for that weekend getaway with this hot chick he just started dating? He needs to increase his disposable income, which means spending less on things like dinner. You just never know the reason why someone might be whipping out that coupon!


I love the way you think skymama :)

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Paying less, in general, is a good thing... Taking out a coupon in a restaurant, especially on a first date, is however, IMO, tacky. Very tacky



You're looking at it with the wrong viewpoint. Don't think of it as being cheap and tacky, think of it as someone increasing their disposable income. ;)

Let's say your date has a fixed amount of bills and a fixed income and there's no way he has time to add another job to his day. What's the best way for him to pay for that weekend getaway with this hot chick he just started dating? He needs to increase his disposable income, which means spending less on things like dinner. You just never know the reason why someone might be whipping out that coupon!


Believe me, in most cases, I think coupons are great. I am the first to take advantage of the coupons I get, to say Nordstrom or Neim's. But to a restaurant? On a first date? EEK!

I understand that there is often a reason behind the use of a coupon... BUT, I'd much rather him cook for us at home, as opposed to taking me out to a restaurant he ordinarily couldn't afford.

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I'd much rather him cook for us at home, as opposed to taking me out to a restaurant he ordinarily couldn't afford.



Now I think I understand where you are coming from, however still misguided. :P

For example, AMEX regularly sends us special offers (not point redemptions) to higher-end restaurants in our area that are affiliated with AMEX. Usually the special offer (aka "coupon") is a postcard good for $50-off our dinner bill so long as we pay with our AMEX card. The most recent one I received (and used) was to The Capital Grille. Even after the $50-off, our bill was still three or four times what I am guessing your total is at Chili's. We can certainly afford the extra $50, but what reason is there to pay $50 more?

We do not dine out too frequently, with one exception--also a higher-end restaurant and my personal local favorite. Often-enough our bottle of wine is "on the house" and I am never mortified by the gesture, nor do I insist to the manager I can afford the bottle and demand to prove it by paying for it instead. :P
"Nature is cruel, but we don't have to be." ~ Temple Grandin

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I'd much rather him cook for us at home, as opposed to taking me out to a restaurant he ordinarily couldn't afford.



Now I think I understand where you are coming from, however still misguided. :P

For example, AMEX regularly sends us special offers (not point redemptions) to higher-end restaurants in our area that are affiliated with AMEX. Usually the special offer (aka "coupon") is a postcard good for $50-off our dinner bill so long as we pay with our AMEX card. The most recent one I received (and used) was to The Capital Grille. Even after the $50-off, our bill was still three or four times what I am guessing your total is at Chili's. We can certainly afford the extra $50, but what reason is there to pay $50 more?

We do not dine out too frequently, with one exception--also a higher-end restaurant and my personal local favorite. Often-enough our bottle of wine is "on the house" and I am never mortified by the gesture, nor do I insist to the manager I can afford the bottle and demand to prove it by paying for it instead. :P


Well, that's all fine and good, though I'm not much into wine or frills. SO, I think I'll stick to my Chili's and Fridays, sans coupons. Hey, to each his own :)

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I have often talked my dates out of going to an expensive "it" restaurant and recommended a little hole-in-the-wall for some Thai food or Pho. I would prefer a man cooking for me at his place (which is always an awesome surprise), rather than going to a to-be-seen restaurant. That doesn't mean that I will always turn down going to an incredible restaurant. It's nice to get dolled up in a dress and heels every so often.



I like to dress nice and go someplace different sometimes. The Army doesn't give me many opportunities to use my suits. But I wandered around on my motorcycle this past weekend looking for 'hole in the wall' places. I love finding a mom and pop with great food.
I know it just wouldnt be right to kill all the stupid people that we meet..

But do you think it would be appropriate to just remove all of the warning labels and let nature take its course.

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Depends, half off at the cinema, or buy one get one free at six flags.....that's cool, right?

However, I would never use penny pincher coupons on a first date. You know, like Subway. That's lame.

Edit: I'm a dude.




Agreed. Coupons for big things, like Disneyland or something are cool... a coupon for a fast food meal would tell me that he and I are probably on different pages when it comes to finance, especially if it was a coupon cut out of the paper. Clipping coupons for stuff like that takes time, and I feel that my time is more valuable than the few cents I may save. Something that's handed out at the door of the restaurant, why not, the opportunity's there, use it. If you randomly come across a coupon for something cool, okay. But actually spending time cutting out coupons....shudder.

Basically, I don't seek out coupons to save a few cents. It's not worth it to me. If it's worth it to someone else, that tells me that they are a lot more frugal than I am and we may not be a good match. While I'm very responsible financially (I save, pay bills on time, etc), it's simply not worth my time to save a few cents here and there, and I can be an impulse shopper sometimes (though only when I know I have money and can spend it comfortably), which tends to drive really frugal people insane. I think it's better to date people that have a similar outlook on finances.

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a coupon for a fast food meal would tell me that he and I are probably on different pages when it comes to finance,



Probably true, considering Bill Gates was worth $3 billion dollars the night he did this:

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Late one night, billionaire Bill Gates stood in line at a grocery store, digging in his pockets for a 50-cent-off coupon. As his butter pecan ice cream began to melt, other customers fumed.

"Here," said the next shopper in line, throwing down two quarters.

Gates took the money.


Trapped on the surface of a sphere. XKCD

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a coupon for a fast food meal would tell me that he and I are probably on different pages when it comes to finance,



Probably true, considering Bill Gates was worth $3 billion dollars the night he did this:

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Late one night, billionaire Bill Gates stood in line at a grocery store, digging in his pockets for a 50-cent-off coupon. As his butter pecan ice cream began to melt, other customers fumed.

"Here," said the next shopper in line, throwing down two quarters.

Gates took the money.



Prolly still used the coupon too. :P
Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting
If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

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But actually spending time cutting out coupons....shudder.



It's not really spending time on it if you do it while you're doing other mindless tasks, like while watching tv, sitting on hold on the phone, waiting for food to cook, etc. I probably save at least $50 a month just from combining store coupons with manufacturer coupons and sale prices. I get excited about how much I save!
She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon

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But actually spending time cutting out coupons....shudder.



I agree everyone has their own line to draw in the sand.

I spend less than five minutes/week looking through various coupons for various things. It excites me to save $1 on the almond milk I was going to buy anyway. My grocery store also regularly does the $5-off grocery purchases of $50 or more (our weekly grocery bill--including wine--is typically upward of $230 for just two of us).

Once the cashier forgot to run my coupons before I paid and I stopped by customer service to be reimbursed. The CS woman giggled at my $3 credit, but stopped, thought, and changed her mind when I said $3/wk is $156/year which is a lot of money to several of the charities I regularly donate to and frankly, I would rather they have my $3 than your store.

I refuse to ever settle for less than more than I paid for; I am obsessed with it. B|

Ironically I have discovered the more I can afford, the more businesses want to throw special offers, private sales and freebies my way.

Like Caitlin said, though, to each their own. I will always be the woman who would rather throw in a pair of socks to meet the free shipping minimum at ColeHaan.com than pay the same price sans socks--of course, that is only after I have checked for a free-shipping promo code first. ;)
"Nature is cruel, but we don't have to be." ~ Temple Grandin

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That's the whole key with sales, offers, and coupons. If it's something you are going to buy anyways, it's great. Otherwise you didn't really save $x or x% off, you've just spent money you wouldn't have at all due to advertising/marketing. :)

Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting
If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

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I'm in agreement. If you're already buying something, why not save some $$$? As far as dating goes, I err toward saying why not? Money's tight, and being frugal (but not cheap) can't hurt in my opinion.
I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

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Maybe I'm a retard or just slow or broke.
But why spend that kind of money on a frist date?
On average my first dates last from 2-5 hours.
Yes ladies, 2-5 hours.
And we start with having coffee - $10ish
And then we walk around - Free
And then we do dinner - $50ish
And then we go some place for ice cream $10ish

Look I'm 33, and time isn't on my side when it comes to dating. I want to be in a stable, loving, committed relationship before I'm 35. The idea of dating when I'm 40 does not appeal to me at all.

And so for me money is an issue but time trumps it.
Because lets face it you will always make more money, but time.....well there just is never enough time.
Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay.

The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools!

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Look I'm 33, and time isn't on my side when it comes to dating. I want to be in a stable, loving, committed relationship before I'm 35. The idea of dating when I'm 40 does not appeal to me at all.



You have no idea what you are speaking of. I am 40, dating at this age is great!!!
"What if there were no hypothetical questions?"

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