A theory about "finding the right guy"

[ZigZagMarquis 8]

Quote

I said it was a LONG process . . . and he's an Engineer - you didn't qualify those variables in your equasion

Oh geez turtle... being stuck in the "friends zone" for even a moment makes your chances of ever scoring with a gal astronomical! Not even icons of geek-dom like Spock or CMDR Data could calculate those odds!

Not to mention office relationships are dangerous waters. I've seen more then one guy slapped with harassment charges after a break-up with the gal from work he was dating / nailing.

[JohnMitchell 14]

Quote

\ being stuck in the "friends zone" for even a moment makes your chances of ever scoring with a gal astronomical!

But then there are friends with benefits. Or maybe women I thought were friends that wanted more. Dunno anymore. I'm married.

[billvon 2,391]

>Never ever try to be "friends first" with a gal you'd really like to have a
>physical relationship with. 99% of the time, you fall in to the "friends"
>zone and you'll never score with her.

Hmm. Seems to have worked out for me. I guess everyone's different.

[absane 0]

Quote

Here is a secret that most engineers can't fathom.

Try being their friend without an alterier motives or expectations, and treat them like a fellow human being without any hidden agenda (Hook up). . .

What's the problem with this? Hrm... well, if you do happen to like her and have feelings towards her (sexual, that is) and you try to come in from the side as wanting to be "friends," she WILL notice some incongruence in your behavior and will forever call you a friend or even worse, creepy. Why not be straight up from the get go? Tell her how you feel. But, here's the kicker: you must be fine with being rejected. A "yes" or "no" is totally acceptable. Too many guys are scared to own their attraction... and wonder why they strike out on a continuous basis. When I find a girl that I'm totally attracted to... I don't hide it.

That's what I did with the last girl I dated. She had a boyfriend and appreciated that I stated the obvious instead of being weird about it like many guys do. Months later they broke up and we got together for a little while.

Don't forget to pull!

[Nataly 38]

Quote

Oh geez turtle... being stuck in the "friends zone" for even a moment makes your chances of ever scoring with a gal astronomical! Not even icons of geek-dom like Spock or CMDR Data could calculate those odds!

I think guys get "stuck in the friend zone" either because:

-He has never made his feelings clear.
-She's just not attracted to the guy.

So the problem isn't necessarily that she views him as non-dating material.. I mean, if you never make your intentions known, what do you expect? If you don't try, why are you surprised if "nothing happens"? We're not fucking mind-readers!!

As for the cases where it's clear the guy has a crush and still nothing happens, well, if you've tried and been rejected, it's a choice you make to keep the person as a friend. And if that's what you choose, you can't exactly be surprised that nothing happens...

"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse."
- Chris Hadfield
« Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. »
- my boss

[shah269 0]

engineering girls....eeeeeeeewwwww!!!
Why would I want to date them let alone be friends with them!
I only date girls who are a size 8 or under, for the same reason why some girls only date taller guys, and less than 10% of the girls here in our engineerign office come close to that size 8 mark.
But that beign said. These girls do get a good bit of attention from the varous nerds but after work....I don't think they get any sort of attention when they go out.
So they are both the hot chick and the ugly chick at the same time.
I wonder how their search for Mr. Right is going?

Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay.

The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools!

[happythoughts 0]

Quote

I mean, if you never make your intentions known, what do you expect? If you don't try, why are you surprised if "nothing happens"? We're not fucking mind-readers!!

Welcome to our world.

Any guy want to touch this one ?

[turtlespeed 212]

Quote

Quote

I mean, if you never make your intentions known, what do you expect? If you don't try, why are you surprised if "nothing happens"? We're not fucking mind-readers!!

Welcome to our world.

Any guy want to touch this one ?

No thanks, I have my own . . . But thanks for asking - Not that there is anything wrong with that - it's just not my bag, baby.

You should try the Rainbow boogie thread if you want more positive feed back with that line.

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

[shah269 0]

Quote

Quote

I mean, if you never make your intentions known, what do you expect? If you don't try, why are you surprised if "nothing happens"? We're not fucking mind-readers!!

Welcome to our world.

Any guy want to touch this one ?

Yeah girls, you know how some times you accuse us guys of being blind and not seeing obvious signals?
Well you girls are no better at reading our signals.

I know this one engineering chick I know, smart girl...and actually a size 8, was dating this guy while friends with Mr. Right. She was super friends with Mr. Right and then went off and married the guy she was dating.......yeah! 5 years later she is divorcing Mr. Wrong wondering where Mr. Right is or was.
Well sadly Mr. Right became a broken man after trying for so long and finally married the bitchiest woman I have ever seen.

They both loose.

Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay.

The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools!

[happythoughts 0]

Quote

Quote

Quote

I mean, if you never make your intentions known, what do you expect? If you don't try, why are you surprised if "nothing happens"? We're not fucking mind-readers!!

Welcome to our world.

Any guy want to touch this one ?

No thanks, I have my own . . . But thanks for asking - Not that there is anything wrong with that - it's just not my bag, baby.

You should try the Rainbow boogie thread if you want more positive feed back with that line.

No, that would be tragic for me. I'd start getting rejected by two sexes.


My favorite conversation...

"What's wrong?"
"Nothing"
"Are you sure?"
"Yes. I'm FINE."
"Ok."

Note - in any conversation, "Fine" can be replaced with " not Fine and you would know it if you weren't an insensitive b*&&("

[skymama 35]

Quote

I wonder how their search for Mr. Right is going?

Probably better than your search for Miss Right.

She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon

[theonlyski 3]

Quote

Quote

Quote

I mean, if you never make your intentions known, what do you expect? If you don't try, why are you surprised if "nothing happens"? We're not fucking mind-readers!!

Welcome to our world.

Any guy want to touch this one ?

Yeah girls, you know how some times you accuse us guys of being blind and not seeing obvious signals?
Well you girls are no better at reading our signals.

I know this one engineering chick I know, smart girl...and actually a size 8, was dating this guy while friends with Mr. Right. She was super friends with Mr. Right and then went off and married the guy she was dating.......yeah! 5 years later she is divorcing Mr. Wrong wondering where Mr. Right is or was.
Well sadly Mr. Right became a broken man after trying for so long and finally married the bitchiest woman I have ever seen.

They both loose.

We know.

"I may be a dirty pirate hooker...but I'm not about to go stand on the corner." iluvtofly
DPH -7, TDS 578, Muff 5153, SCR 14890
I'm an asshole, and I approve this message

[shah269 0]

Quote

Quote

I wonder how their search for Mr. Right is going?

Probably better than your search for Miss Right.

Well for me it's not going well at all that's for sure.
But it's due to work and school eating up so much of my time and well funds....I now have to pay all of the bills. And in NJ, it's expensive. At $100k Im the working poor.

But from the few times I've had the money to go out to happy hour with my work friends it has been interesting. The engineering girls come in riding the wave from work but then hit the wall of reality and then the drinking begins.

Like I said when you are 1-100 you are a hot comodity and get hit on non stop.
But when you are "just that poorly dressed ho hum girl" in a bar with say a dozen welld ressred professionals...you are not a hot comodity an thus you will get less attention.

These girls go from being the hot girl to the not so hot girl rather quickly. I'm sure that can't be good for any ones view of themselves or the world. But the funny bit I've noticed. They all seem to think that they will find Mr. Right outside of work.

Which is a real shame because...a number of the guys they work with and who are nice to them.....are really nice guys and who would make for a great life partner. But none of these girls ever notice them. Too much static? Who knows.

Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay.

The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools!

[OlympiaStoica 0]

Quote

engineering girls....eeeeeeeewwwww!!!
Why would I want to date them let alone be friends with them! I only date girls who are a size 8 or under, for the same reason why some girls only date taller guys ...

I knew that those sensible and sane early comments on this thread weren’t his – somebody else must have used his account to post them.

“Shah” is back …

O

[OlympiaStoica 0]

Quote

I wonder how their search for Mr. Right is going?

Quote

Probably better than your search for Miss Right

Quote

Well for me it's not going well at all that's for sure.

Really? That is such a shock ... I can't possibly understand why ... such a charming young man ...

Quote

But it's due to work and school eating up so much of my time and well funds....

Yeah ... whatever makes you sleep better
O

[shah269 0]

Quote

I knew that those sensible and sane early comments on this thread weren’t his – somebody else must have used his account to post them.
“Shah” is back …
O

You know how some girls don't like dating guys who are under say 5'10" well some of us guys don't want to date girls who are more than a given size.
Now is it my fault I'm not 5'10" No. Do I get upset when a girl says "I'm sorry I don't date short guys."?
No.
so what is your problem? What gives? I can't have a preference as to who I wish to spend my life with? And what gives you the right to criticize my preference for a petite girl?
I don't have a right to criticize your preferences in terms of what type of guys you are interested in, so what gives you the right to criticize mine.
Stop breathe and come back with a well thought out rebuttal.
Otherwise live with the fact that some guys like petite girls and others like bigger girls.
Just like some girls like taller guys and others shorter guys.
I have and I suggest you do the same.
Thank you.

Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay.

The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools!

[LuckyMcSwervy 0]

Quote

Yeah ... whatever makes you sleep better
O

I love you.

Always be kinder than you feel.

[skymama 35]

Quote

I can't have a preference as to who I wish to spend my life with? And what gives you the right to criticize my preference for a petite girl?

Because you can't believe that any guy would like a girl who wears a size larger than an 8. Let me tell you, that's total bullshit. I've been larger than a size 8 for most of my adult life and I've never had trouble getting attention from men.

She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon

[shah269 0]

Quote

Quote

I can't have a preference as to who I wish to spend my life with? And what gives you the right to criticize my preference for a petite girl?

Because you can't believe that any guy would like a girl who wears a size larger than an 8. Let me tell you, that's total bullshit. I've been larger than a size 8 for most of my adult life and I've never had trouble getting attention from men.

So, what has that have to do with me? Good for you! Wonderful! GREAT! So what does that have to do with my preferences for what I want in a life partner?
You keep confusing ME with ANY GUY. I don’t care what any other guy wants or what any other girl wants. I only care about what I want. And if what I want is a problem for you, then I'm sorry please but out of my life. You are not welcome to partake in my decision making process.
I like girls who have a minimum of a 4 years of college education and who are size 8 or under.
If you don’t like it so what? You have plenty of guys hitting on you. What does my preferences have to do with you? Or anyone else.

As for my observations, they were just that. These girls showed up to a bar wearing a polo shirt and baggy pants. Which works great for the office they are in. But they were competing with women who were better dressed and who looked more put together and thus received more attention than the engineering girls.

In the office these engineering girls were/are the bees knees but when put in the outside world the numbers changed and thus they weren't a hot commodity. And thus a prime example of "is it harder for a cute girl to find Mr. Right?" well in the office, these girls are "cute" with respect to what else is walking around. And as expected...or noted here they do have a hard time finding "Mr. Right" in the office.

Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay.

The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools!

[Amazon 7]

Quote

Quote

Quote

I can't have a preference as to who I wish to spend my life with? And what gives you the right to criticize my preference for a petite girl?

Because you can't believe that any guy would like a girl who wears a size larger than an 8. Let me tell you, that's total bullshit. I've been larger than a size 8 for most of my adult life and I've never had trouble getting attention from men.

So, what has that have to do with me? Good for you! Wonderful! GREAT! So what does that have to do with my preferences for what I want in a life partner?
You keep confusing ME with ANY GUY. I don’t care what any other guy wants or what any other girl wants. I only care about what I want. And if what I want is a problem for you, then I'm sorry please but out of my life. You are not welcome to partake in my decision making process.
I like girls who have a minimum of a 4 years of college education and who are size 8 or under.
If you don’t like it so what? You have plenty of guys hitting on you. What does my preferences have to do with you? Or anyone else.

As for my observations, they were just that. These girls showed up to a bar wearing a polo shirt and baggy pants. Which works great for the office they are in. But they were competing with women who were better dressed and who looked more put together and thus received more attention. In the office these engineering girls were the bees knees but when put in the outside world the numbers changed and thus they weren't a hot commodity. And thus a prime example of "is it harder for a cute girl to find Mr. Right?" well in the office, these girls are "cute" with respect to what else is walking around. And as expected...or noted here they do have a hard time finding "Mr. Right" in the office.

Did you ever meet any of these guys.
Sean Moynihan, Peter Farrelly, or Bobby Farrelly

I think they used you as inspiration. Maybe you can get some residuals

[OlympiaStoica 0]

Quote

Quote

I can't have a preference as to who I wish to spend my life with? And what gives you the right to criticize my preference for a petite girl?

Because you can't believe that any guy would like a girl who wears a size larger than an 8. Let me tell you, that's total bullshit. I've been larger than a size 8 for most of my adult life and I've never had trouble getting attention from men.

You are a hot (sky)mama ...

Not that your point needs any “supporting arguments” (it needs none) …

I’m a size 10 (yeah … if you got a problem with that, kiss my big bum-bum) – attention has never, ever been a problem … my super-handsome, 12 years younger boyfriend loves every single ounce of it
O

[shah269 0]

Quote

I’m a size 10 (yeah … if you got a problem with that, kiss my big bum-bum) – attention has never, ever been a problem … my super-handsome, 12 years younger boyfriend loves every single ounce of it O

So, what has that have to do with me? Good for you! Wonderful! GREAT! So what does that have to do with my preferences for what I want in a life partner?
(for more read previous post)
And if you don't like that some people like skinny girls and others like more "thick" girls then I'm sorry that's your problem not mine.

Maybe that could be the key to finding Mr. Right?
Comming to terms that you really shouldn't dictate who others should and should not like.

Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay.

The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools!

[OlympiaStoica 0]

Skymama already answered those questions ... did you read it? Or do you have "selective comprehension"?

Size 10 does NOT make me "tick" - the same way being below 5'10" does not make one ... umm ... "sexually inadequate". So, I'm just going to ignore that - if I respond to it, there is no way I will be able to avoid a full blown PA.

O

[skymama 35]

Quote

You are a hot (sky)mama

Thank you, Olympia.

She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon

[turtlespeed 212]

Quote

Quote

I can't have a preference as to who I wish to spend my life with? And what gives you the right to criticize my preference for a petite girl?

Because you can't believe that any guy would like a girl who wears a size larger than an 8. Let me tell you, that's total bullshit. I've been larger than a size 8 for most of my adult life and I've never had trouble getting attention from men.

Exspecially when she frees the puppies!

I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun