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Nataly

A theory about "finding the right guy"

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Not to get to far off topic, but seriously? The majority of men are turned off by assertive women? By assertive we are talking about what? A woman that asks a man out on a date?

...LAME.



No idea of the percentages, was simply dealing with what appeared to be an absolute statement.

Baby steps... ;)
Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting
If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

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Not to get to far off topic, but seriously? The majority of men are turned off by assertive women? By assertive we are talking about what? A woman that asks a man out on a date?

...LAME.



Well, to date I have never had a positive response when I have gone on a limb and asked a guy out... But that's never stopped me from trying!! :D:D

Actually, thinking on that, I did *once* get an initial rejection, but then the guy caved later on!! Still - it was a bad reaction in the first instance!


ETA - And reflecting on it more, he *did* turn out to have a problem with me being "too forward".. :S
"There is no problem so bad you can't make it worse."
- Chris Hadfield
« Sors le martinet et flagelle toi indigne contrôleuse de gestion. »
- my boss

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Not to get to far off topic, but seriously? The majority of men are turned off by assertive women? By assertive we are talking about what? A woman that asks a man out on a date?

...LAME.



LAME ... but true ... and I'm not even talking about "asking out on a date" - just letting him know there is an interest (as in giving "signals") ... One could argue that perhaps I’ve mistaken “being turned off by assertiveness” with “rejection” (i.e. they aren’t interested and have turned down my advances) – not so; a guy otherwise interested at first, if for whatever reason I decided to stop being passive, they’ve hit the ground running.

Say what you will ... (most) men may fantasize about it, but aren’t comfortable being pursued by a woman ... I'm told it has something to do with men being hunters and enjoying the trill of the chase ... or some bull crap like that :S ...

O

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I think that on top of that there is a generalization that most people have of women that are forward to be easy and get with anyone. Most people like a little bit of a challenge because they think if it's a little more difficult then it would be difficult for other people, and the woman would tend to be more faithful. Not necessarily true but a generalization I know a lot of people make.

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I admit I didn't read all of the responses, and sorry to threadjack, but have you ever thought of this:

Are there any total average men who get together with a chick considered "hot" by average guy standards (think dork getting the cheerleader), the "hot" chick honestly and truly falls for the dork and then the dork punishes the "hot" chick for all of the girls in his past who've turned him down??
Always be kinder than you feel.

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Imagine two girls with similar employment, attitudes on life, interests, morals, etc, but with a substantial difference in their physical appearance, one being substantially prettier than the other.

Imagine two guys who are similarly employed, physically attractive, share the same interests, morals etc, but let one of them place more value on physical beauty than the other.

The pretty girl is suitable for both of them, the plain girl only has a shot with one.

Blues,
Dave



Ok, but the shot she is missing out on is shallow, so is she really missing out??!

And besides.. What's to say that either girl is compatible with either boy and vice-versa??


I don't think a preference for physical beauty makes someone shallow all by itself. However my point still stands that a pretty girl has all of the opportunities of an ugly girl, plus others that the ugly girl does not.

Blues,
Dave


What about the short one?:D
I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

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I have heard about stuff like that but never actually seen it. It seems extremely childish to me and a waste of time



+1 :S
Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting
If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

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This topic has circulated a number of times and keeps rearing its ugly head every time a single gal talks about the difficulties of "finding the right guy"...

So here is the myth: attractive girls can find a man without even batting an eyelash.

Ok, that is obviously exaggerated, but you get the idea...

Now, I'm sure that a beautiful woman probably *would* find more men interested in her, but ultimately, given each person is unique and has unique tastes, there should still be the same percentage of "suitable" soul-mates for attractive people as the uglies. The fact that an attractive person may have more suitors doesn't mean that those suitors are "suitable"...

You know, it's a bit like having satellite TV... Sure, there are more options, but what good is having 350 channels of crap telly when all you want is a really good movie?!!

So here is my theory... More choice does not equal more "Mr. Rights".

Any thoughts?




Well, yes and no, [email protected]

While working your "theory vs. myth", you may want to go read up on the "Ladder Theory" and also take this...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gBVuAGFcGKY

... on for consideration.

:D

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If you're into skydiving and want your mate to be as well, a DZ is a good place to hang out.



I'm personally convinced this is not true for guys. The numbers are just too out of whack. A guy would be better off finding and meeting an adventurous lady somewhere else and then introducing her to skydiving. And then holding on for dear life!
"What if there were no hypothetical questions?"

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Actually, I once met a guy that all the woman called Mr Right.
Of course, he met Miss Right shortly thereafter, so all these
women are out of luck. :ph34r:;)

(For some mysterious reason, I am still available. :))



I married Miss Right . . .

It was then that I found out that her first name was Always.[:/]
I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

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Actually, I once met a guy that all the woman called Mr Right.
Of course, he met Miss Right shortly thereafter, so all these
women are out of luck. :ph34r:;)

(For some mysterious reason, I am still available. :))



I married Miss Right . . .

It was then that I found out that her first name was Always.[:/]


if you read the proper relationship books, you would know that this is just part of the "communication" skill you lack. fortunately, you can be communicated with until you admit your error. :ph34r:

now go watch Dancing With the Stars until you have done your penance. :)

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Actually, I once met a guy that all the woman called Mr Right.
Of course, he met Miss Right shortly thereafter, so all these
women are out of luck. :ph34r:;)

(For some mysterious reason, I am still available. :))



I married Miss Right . . .

It was then that I found out that her first name was Always.[:/]


if you read the proper relationship books, you would know that this is just part of the "communication" skill you lack. fortunately, you can be communicated with until you admit your error. :ph34r:

now go watch Dancing With the Stars until you have done your penance. :)


I can hear just fine . . . :|
I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

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>I'm personally convinced this is not true for guys. The numbers are
>just too out of whack.

I'm not saying "it's easy to meet women in skydiving." But if you really want to meet a skydiver that's pretty much where you have to be. I mean, if you just want to meet athletic women, a gym or yoga studio is a much better place to go - provided that you are looking for a woman who is into those things rather than skydiving.

In addition, one thing that I've found true 99% of the time is that if you do what you like and get good at it, people of the opposite sex will be attracted to you. Not because skydiving is sexy, but because competence, self-assurance and achievement is. Which means that being a good skydiver and not putting a lot of effort into meeting women gets you better odds than going somewhere and trying to get a woman to follow you to the DZ (in my opinion at least.)

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OK well my posts were of the macro level.
But today in Yoga class I was talking to my instructor regarding the "Rubinesque" engineering girls in my facility and my fear of lowering my standards for Ms. Right.

Most non engineers don't really get "it". And by 'it" i'm referring to the disparity in the number of male engineers vs female engineers.

Where I went to university it was a solid 50-1 when it came to guys and girls. Now at work it's....a little over 100-1.
Now these are OKish girls. In your average bar these girls due to personality and shape would not get any attention.
BUT in engineering schools and engineering offices these girls are treated like gold and hit on non stop.
So how does this work? Where will one of these girls find Mr. Right?
On one hand from 7am-6pm they are receiving all kinds of attention from all kinds of guys.......maybe one is Mr. Right?
But at 6pm at the local bar.....well she is a big fish swimming in a sea of sharks.....will Mr. Right have a better chance there?
Static vs. Signal?

As for being aggressive and getting shot down? Ladies don't like it? Well that's every day for your average joe. Getting shot down 4-5 times at any given nigh is just the way things go. Getting shot down non stop for a month straight? Not unusual. What you are experiencing is just how we guys live every day. And thus why some guys say "screw this" and pull away from society totally or if they have the cash (about $5k) they buy love from Eastern Europe.
My suggestion? Use the pick up line that has always worked for me. "Hi I'm XYZ, how are you?"
Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay.

The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools!

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Yeah, that plus if you're gonna get a "hook up" at the drop zone, your odds are better if you're an jump-master/instructor.

Seriously, who has first crack at chattin' up all the gals coming through FJC or at some gal trying to progress wanting some one-on-one coaching. I've seen it a million times on a DZ, some gal gets lots of attention from an instructor, coaching, packing instruction, reserve repacks (if he's also a rigger) and all she's got to do is put out a little and he's "giving away" lots of instruction for free that he'd be charging' some bloke an arm & an leg for.

Damn It!!!!... why did I let my JM rate lapse??? :S


:D

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OK well my posts were of the macro level.
But today in Yoga class I was talking to my instructor regarding the "Rubinesque" engineering girls in my facility and my fear of lowering my standards for Ms. Right.

Most non engineers don't really get "it". And by 'it" i'm referring to the disparity in the number of male engineers vs female engineers.

Where I went to university it was a solid 50-1 when it came to guys and girls. Now at work it's....a little over 100-1.
Now these are OKish girls. In your average bar these girls due to personality and shape would not get any attention.
BUT in engineering schools and engineering offices these girls are treated like gold and hit on non stop.
So how does this work? Where will one of these girls find Mr. Right?
On one hand from 7am-6pm they are receiving all kinds of attention from all kinds of guys.......maybe one is Mr. Right?
But at 6pm at the local bar.....well she is a big fish swimming in a sea of sharks.....will Mr. Right have a better chance there?
Static vs. Signal?

As for being aggressive and getting shot down? Ladies don't like it? Well that's every day for your average joe. Getting shot down 4-5 times at any given nigh is just the way things go. Getting shot down non stop for a month straight? Not unusual. What you are experiencing is just how we guys live every day. And thus why some guys say "screw this" and pull away from society totally or if they have the cash (about $5k) they buy love from Eastern Europe.
My suggestion? Use the pick up line that has always worked for me. "Hi I'm XYZ, how are you?"



Here is a secret that most engineers can't fathom.

Try being their friend without an alterier motives or expectations, and treat them like a fellow human being without any hidden agenda (Hook up). . .

If you can do that - you get the real "them" and you can pick and choose the qualities that you like in "them".

It's a LONG process . . . but worth it in the end.:)
I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

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So here is the myth: attractive girls can find a man without even batting an eyelash.
........

So here is my theory... More choice does not equal more "Mr. Rights".

Any thoughts?




Well, yes and no, [email protected]

While working your "theory vs. myth", you may want to go read up on the "Ladder Theory" and also take this...

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gBVuAGFcGKY

... on for consideration.

:D

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Attractive people of either sex can easily find a hook-up, but finding someone they like to hang out with too is the tough part. The concept of Mr. or Mrs. Right is probably outdated- if you hang out in groups you can ignore your mates flaws/annoyances and they can ignore yours and there is less pressure on you both to be perfect- cause that's not going to happen anyway.

Ladder theory seems unfair but pretty accurate.

There are definitely 2 ladders- I think its mostly pheromones that determine attraction- primal chemistry- not necessarily looks is what draws me in-but confidence and novelty also play a part.

Good youtube clip. So sad but so true...

Again and Again....face to face with the sky - RMR

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Try being their friend ...




NOPE!!! WRONG!!!!

Sorry turtle-buddy, while I agree with you about the, "... without an alterier motives or expectations" part, you are way way wrong about the "being their friend" part.

Never ever try to be "friends first" with a gal you'd really like to have a physical relationship with. 99% of the time, you fall in to the "friends" zone and you'll never score with her. Being her "friend" first, is and in of itself is an alterier motive. You're trying to jump her ladder at a moment of weakness. :ph34r:

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Try being their friend ...




NOPE!!! WRONG!!!!

Sorry turtle-buddy, while I agree with you about the, "... without an alterier motives or expectations" part, you are way way wrong about the "being their friend" part.

Never ever try to be "friends first" with a gal you'd really like to have a physical relationship with. 99% of the time, you fall in to the "friends" zone and you'll never score with her. Being her "friend" first, is and in of itself is an alterier motive. You're trying to jump her ladder at a moment of weakness. :ph34r:


I said it was a LONG process . . . and he's an Engineer - you didn't qualify those variables in your equasion.:D
I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

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