0
Southern_Man

Post-nuptial shut-off

Recommended Posts

Quote

First wife attempted to use sex as a reprisal for me going to the DZ. Like I said...she was my first wife :P



You mean she threatened to have sex with you if you went skydiving? :P
See the upside, and always wear your parachute! -- Christopher Titus

Shut Up & Jump!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I'm just lucky I married a woman hornier than me.

Never been cut off, but after 3 kids and 20 yrs, sometimes it gets pushed to the back burner for both of us.

Sometimes I say " I'm tired and you take too long":P

Take chances, just do it with all the information to make good decisions!!

Muff Brother# 2706 Dudeist Skydiver# 121.5

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

The definition of hell is being madly in love with the woman of your dreams, your soul mate someone who you would do just about anything for and have done just about anything for them and laying next to them in your home, in your bed, in the middle of the night and she, though she says she loves you, has no sexual desires. That's not "shut off" that's hell on earth.
[:/]
First three years were good. Then she switched birth control pills to what best could be described as the "divorce pill" I did the next 4 years in hell. And when I finally developed enough of a spine to ask her to join me in counseling to "fix" our issue....the response I got "OK I want a divorce...."
Came out of left field, but in the lead up to it...the damage this sex diet did to me was.....deep.
I stopped seeing relationships as free and full of love and started to see them as sick business transactions. To say it turned me into a shamanistic SOB is an understatement.
:|
And the funny thing, those last 4 years, I went to the gym twice a week, lost weight, bulked up, dressed better, cooked, randomly brought her flowers to her job, cleaned, gave up my desires for vacation so either she could go see her parents or her parents could come and visit, paid for her friends flights took care of them when they were here, threw her surprise birthday parties.....you name it I did it in this stupid hope that she would see that I was a good husband and that maybe just maybe she would desire me again.
[:/]
Thank god we never had kids. I couldn't imagine living a life like that for 18 years "just because of the kids".

And now....every date I'm on......every single girl I meet.....I can't help but be petrified of being in the same place again. After all what's to stop her from doing to me what my x did to me? And what be divorced again in another 7 years? I'll be in my mid 40's living with two cats wondering what happened.
[:/]
So what did I learn? Sadly one of my more....bombastic friends put it to me this way, "The key to being happy is coming to terms with the fact that maybe sometimes you just need to have something on the side." But that's not me, that's not something I could ever do. But maybe he's right?
[:/]

Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay.

The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

I think the key to finding a woman that won't "shut off" is finding one that masturbates regularly. This shows they at least have an appetite and aren't just doing it to please their SO.

If you can replace most or all of it with sex, you're golden. :)

Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting
If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
For all you guys who are whining about this, I would bet $100 that your ex-wives would say that you weren't meeting their emotional needs. What those needs were, I don't know because each woman is different. I also bet she was also telling you and you weren't hearing her or you felt her complaints weren't valid and you didn't act on them.
She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote

For all you guys who are whining about this, I would bet $100 that your ex-wives would say that you weren't meeting their emotional needs. What those needs were, I don't know because each woman is different. I also bet she was also telling you and you weren't hearing her or you felt her complaints weren't valid and you didn't act on them.



Which means they were only or mostly having sex for their husband's benefit prior, not their own. :S
Stupidity if left untreated is self-correcting
If ya can't be good, look good, if that fails, make 'em laugh.

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote

Which means they were only or mostly having sex for their husband's benefit prior, not their own.



Or maybe she just found the value of a vibrator. :ph34r:;)
She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote

Which means they were only or mostly having sex for their husband's benefit prior, not their own.

No, but sex alone isn't the same for a lot of women as it is for men. Meeting emotional needs is a huge part of an overall satisfying life.

Stating those emotional needs is also very important. And listening and actually believing is also. This marriage shit can be tough :D

Wendy P.
There is nothing more dangerous than breaking a basic safety rule and getting away with it. It removes fear of the consequences and builds false confidence. (tbrown)

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote

For all you guys who are whining about this, I would bet $100 that your ex-wives would say that you weren't meeting their emotional needs. What those needs were, I don't know because each woman is different. I also bet she was also telling you and you weren't hearing her or you felt her complaints weren't valid and you didn't act on them.



+1 THANK YOU!!!!!!

I thought about it some more and me trying to be objective and look at it from all the angles, it got me thinking that my ex-husband must have been complaining that I "don't put out" also ... and trust me, drive has never been a problem.

Instead of dealing with the issue(s), his answer was to have entire "side relationships" with my "friends" ... but when it's OK to cheat and why friends stab you in the back are entirely different topics ...

O

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote

For all you guys who are whining about this, I would bet $100 that your ex-wives would say that you weren't meeting their emotional needs. What those needs were, I don't know because each woman is different. I also bet she was also telling you and you weren't hearing her or you felt her complaints weren't valid and you didn't act on them.


I think I saw this argument on Life Time...you know that cable network who's motto it..."It's the mans fault!":)
How about communication? I'm not a rocket scientist I'm just a guy, a meet popsicle! Unless a girl tells me EXACTLY what is on her mind....I'm going to guess. And I assure you my guess is going to be way off the mark from what she was thinking.
Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay.

The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools!

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote

I think the key to finding a woman that won't "shut off" is finding one that masturbates regularly. This shows they at least have an appetite and aren't just doing it to please their SO.

If you can replace most or all of it with sex, you're golden. :)



Outstanding advice right here.
"What if there were no hypothetical questions?"

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
When the women on the forums are blunt with you, you often don't listen to what we are saying. That is why we get so frustrated with you. Maybe you're different in the real world, I wouldn't know.
She is Da Man, and you better not mess with Da Man,
because she will lay some keepdown on you faster than, well, really fast. ~Billvon

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote

When the women on the forums are blunt with you, you often don't listen to what we are saying. That is why we get so frustrated with you. Maybe you're different in the real world, I wouldn't know.



Is there a difference to the female mind between blunt and rude?
I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites
Quote

Quote

Is there a difference to the female mind between blunt and rude?



I suppose it's all in one's perspective.


So, maybe it was that you thought she might have been being blunt, when in fact she was being rude.

I think that some things were said to Shah that would be considered very rude, overly emotional, and hatefull.

On the other hand, I think his comments show a lack of experience, shovanist intentions, and a lot of Naivete'.

To his credit, though, he was honest. Thst is until he decided to stir the pot some.:ph34r::ph34r:
I'm not usually into the whole 3-way thing, but you got me a little excited with that. - Skymama
BTR #1 / OTB^5 Official #2 / Hellfish #408 / VSCR #108/Tortuga/Orfun

Share this post


Link to post
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Paste as plain text instead

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

0