Beautiful = Messed up?

[skygirl1 1]

hmmm...that seems to be a pretty judgemental statement and or opinion. What do you find "attractive?" Are you implying that most attractive women have been raped? And if they have been, yeah, that causes issues and only a real man who has empathy could understand. Did you do a poll on "attractive women" and ask them if they have been raped? If so, did you do a poll on women you would not find attractive and ask them the same thing? Maybe women find you shallow? Or too judgmental? EVERYONE has their own issues. NO one is perfect. I am sure you have plenty of your own issues too.

" Mean people SUCK!"

[CSpenceFLY 1]

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"No matter how good she looks, someone somewhere is sick of her shit."

100% true and agreed. but recognizing the origin of her shit helps you be able to help her and stay with her. There are a ton of problems people can have as they grow up, caused by tons of things that are seemingly innocent.

Fuck that. I have enough trouble keeping myself sane. She's on her own. There are plenty of people out there that are not a chore to be around.

[Andy9o8 0]

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There are plenty of people out there that are not a chore to be around.

Where?

[Remster 24]

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There are plenty of people out there that are not a chore to be around.

Where?

Out there... ie, not on this site.

Remster

[Shotgun 1]

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Out there... ie, not on this site.

Hey now! I'm on this site, and I have no issues. No issues at all.

I think when getting involved with someone else, the question is not "Does this person have issues?" The question is "Are this person's issues compatible with my issues?"

And, of course, "beautiful" and "messed up" are both highly subjective.

[Remster 24]

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And, of course, "beautiful" and "messed up" are both highly subjective.

"You want me to do what to you???? That's messed up!"

Remster

[davjohns 1]

"And, of course, "beautiful" and "messed up" are both highly subjective."

Of course they are. And I am fully prepared to hear that my point of view is totally off. I'm just looking for discussion. Obviously, everyone has to interpret those two items within their own field of reference.

I know it just wouldnt be right to kill all the stupid people that we meet..

But do you think it would be appropriate to just remove all of the warning labels and let nature take its course.

[shah269 0]

This is a question for Dr. Shah (AKA Dr. Love) he has some great theories on this and has written many unread blogs on the subject.
But the long and short of it?
Beauty won't pay the bills but it sure as shit will get her a few free drinks and a bevy of morons willing to do what ever she asks.
AKA "She's bat shit crazy because we men are OK with her behavior due to her being cute."

Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay.

The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools!

[VincePetaccio 0]

Though perhaps the fact that this discussion is happening is evidence that that's not true.

...or that we have risen above this weakness of man.

Come, my friends! 'Tis not too late to seek out a newer world!

[shah269 0]

Nope! Just because one dude steps back for ONE SECOND and realizes that on average your average hot chick is bat shit crazy doesn't mean the world will change.
Because just because the dude steps back doesn't mean he will stop dating or desiring hot chicks! I mean a man must have standards!

Bro Code "No bro will ever allow another bro to ever use the line 'But she is nice' to ever justify why he is with a questionable woman of squared off proportions"

Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay.

The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools!

[VincePetaccio 0]

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I truly believe they have problems heaped on them by a society that places an extreme amount of value on beauty. One needn't look further than the kiddie beauty pagents, ads aimed at young girls, and the music and film industry. Take a good long look at the next Victoria's Secret (I always do) or the covergirls on the magazines in the checkout line and you'll see where the problem begins.

They'll spend most of their lives chasing that look only to find that it really gets them nothing but bullshit.

This doesn't say to me that anybody's making these women you speak of into victims.

It tells me that they themselves place so much value on emulating these symbols of physical, shallow beauty that they will never achieve that they feel the need to blame "society" (whatever that means?) for their own insecurities.

Nobody is telling them that they need to look like that but themselves.

I'm a man, and I'm confident that I have a lot to offer the world. No, I don't exactly look like the guy on the cover of GQ, or Tom Hanks, or any man on http://www.people.com/people/package/0,,20315920,00.html, but I know there's more to me than what's on the outside.

Come, my friends! 'Tis not too late to seek out a newer world!

[VincePetaccio 0]

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Nope! Just because one dude steps back for ONE SECOND and realizes that on average your average hot chick is bat shit crazy doesn't mean the world will change.
Because just because the dude steps back doesn't mean he will stop dating or desiring hot chicks! I mean a man must have standards!

Bro Code "No bro will ever allow another bro to ever use the line 'But she is nice' to ever justify why he is with a questionable woman of squared off proportions"

lol. I thought there was hope for a second there.

Come, my friends! 'Tis not too late to seek out a newer world!

[shah269 0]

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lol. I thought there was hope for a second there.

You just can't push rope
AND
Hot chicks will pick the tool over the nice guy any day.
Until either changes, the world will be the way it has been.

Life through good thoughts, good words, and good deeds is necessary to ensure happiness and to keep chaos at bay.

The only thing that falls from the sky is birdshit and fools!

[CSpenceFLY 1]

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"She's bat shit crazy because we men are OK with her behavior due to her being cute."

Probably the smartest thing you have posted. Although, this is true for any behavior.

[bluepill 0]

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Nobody is telling them that they need to look like that but themselves.

IMO society does tell them they need to.

Society today is massively exposed to and bombarded with images (beautiful enhanced images).

And we have been taught and continue to teach to fit in.

BP

[airtwardo 6]

Beauty won't pay the bills but it sure as shit will get her a few free drinks and a bevy of morons willing to do what ever she asks.
AKA "She's bat shit crazy because we men are OK with her behavior due to her being cute."

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Just maybe...

If all ya bring to the ballpark is a tolerance for bat shit crazy, motivated solely by the underlying sexual attraction...then ya get what you deserve.

YOU gotta bring major league game, if ya wanna play with the all stars!

~ If you choke a Smurf, what color does it turn? ~

[VincePetaccio 0]

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Nobody is telling them that they need to look like that but themselves.

IMO society does tell them they need to.

Society today is massively exposed to and bombarded with images (beautiful enhanced images).

And we have been taught and continue to teach to fit in.

BP

I see where you're coming from, but I can't really agree here. Here's why:

1. It's easy to blame "society," but when it comes down to it, nobody can tell me what that means. Certainly "society" is not a single person controlling social standards, and surely it is not an emergent property of peoples in an area. I think it's the whipping boy of a culture of those who need to explain away their problems.

2. If this were true, what property would make it exclusive to attractive women? By your theory I would expect unattractive women- and men- to be affected MORE.

3. Why don't men seem to display this behavior? Unless you're implying that men are somehow less vulnerable to insecurity (and I don't think you are).

4. Who is really teaching a need to "fit in"? I was always taught to embrace the "things that make me special," a concept that I find to be pretty universal. Even if we WERE teaching people to "fit in," wouldn't being less attractive than those enhanced beauties make you... fit in?

I think we need to accept that, sometimes, the victims have few to blame but themselves. Once we acknowledge that, we can help them.

Come, my friends! 'Tis not too late to seek out a newer world!

[popsjumper 2]

Beautiful = Good to go
Messed up = Has no pulse

My reality and yours are quite different.
I think we're all Bozos on this bus.
Falcon5232, SCS8170, SCSA353, POPS9398, DS239

[billvon 2,396]

>Nope! Just because one dude steps back for ONE SECOND and realizes that
>on average your average hot chick is bat shit crazy doesn't mean the world will
>change.

Bat shit crazy is good for hours of entertainment.

[CSpenceFLY 1]

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Beautiful = Good to go
Messed up = Has no pulse

Beautiful =Messed up

Good to go= Has no pulse

Fixed it for you.

[kbordson 8]

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I imagine the women are forming some theories of their own after reading your post.

I think naturally beautiful women, are normal. Just like the plain Janes. It's the ones that feel the need to spend all of their time trying to make themselves look like what they believe is beautiful that have issues.

True beauty is on the inside.

[like]



But this thread confuses me about how some people think.

"Beautiful"?
I understand how most generally define it. I can see a "beautiful" cover-girl and agree that is a pretty face... but is it "her"? Don't look at a mask and marvel about superficial beauty. Instead get to know the woman behind the mask BEFORE you describe her as beautiful.
America Ferrera IS Ugly Betty. Well.. at least physically. But if you're judging people based on physical appearance, be aware that your eyes can be fooled.

"Messed up"?
This one is quite a bit harder to come to a joint understanding. There are EASY definitions of "messed up" people - murderers, rapists, true psychotic personalities. Then there are the less defined ones - borderline personalities, addictive traits, OCD types, insecurities. Then there are just those people that "you" don't like so it's easier to call them "messed up" and de-value their issues WITH YOU... not just "their issues."

See... I'm just confused.

[Muffie 0]

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I just have this general idea that the more attractive a woman is, the greater the probability that she has issues.

One of my best friends in high school was just drop dead gorgeous. We'd go clubbing and she couldn't walk a foot without some guy reaching out to try to get her attention. Another guy stopped us in the mall once to run a line about putting her in music videos and one guy once described her to my boyfriend as a "walking wet dream." She was also one of the most down to earth, kind, intelligent, heads up, centered people I've known. She was fortunate to just be naturally attractive - no hours in front of the mirror trying to look like anyone else or following trends. She did put in effort with makeup and clothes, just not a ton of it. No rape issues (at least last time I checked). No entitlement. Just an amazing person who last time I checked had her own opthamology practice and was the mother of two beautiful children. So, I think she's a perfect example that your idea is not some universal constant.

Perhaps your definition of beauty happens to encompass a biased sample? Do you find that most of the women you date have hair that exact right shade of blonde? Or are they all almost white-blonde? That's just one little example of a red flag to me. It's one thing when a woman likes to change up her look and goes from red to black to blue to blonde to whatever. It's a whole different story when she feels compelled to dye her hair a color that everyone else uses and defines as the "appropriate" color.

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I have also found that a huge percentage have been raped at some time and that has had a terrible consequence for them.

I don't want to touch off any sort of rape debate, but this just seems like such a sweeping statement that I had to at least highlight it and say you may be working with a biased sample. What drew you to these women? Did they need a rescuer or a strong man to protect them? If so, why?

As at least one poster above has said "beauty" and "messed up" are all in the eye of the beholder. It's quite possible that the friend I described above wouldn't even catch your eye. I don't know what you go for, but the friend I described is definitely not proto-typical American blonde.

[Coreece 190]

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I think when getting involved with someone else, the question is not "Does this person have issues?" The question is "Are this person's issues compatible with my issues?"

Well I know that my beliefs are different from yours and that they suggest we stay far apart, but hey, I'm eccentric!

Where in the "middle" can I meet you?

Your secrets are the true reflection of who you really are...

[Arvoitus 1]

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Nobody is telling them that they need to look like that but themselves.

IMO society does tell them they need to.

Society today is massively exposed to and bombarded with images (beautiful enhanced images).

And we have been taught and continue to teach to fit in.

BP

I see where you're coming from, but I can't really agree here. Here's why:

1. It's easy to blame "society," but when it comes down to it, nobody can tell me what that means. Certainly "society" is not a single person controlling social standards, and surely it is not an emergent property of peoples in an area. I think it's the whipping boy of a culture of those who need to explain away their problems.

2. If this were true, what property would make it exclusive to attractive women? By your theory I would expect unattractive women- and men- to be affected MORE.

3. Why don't men seem to display this behavior? Unless you're implying that men are somehow less vulnerable to insecurity (and I don't think you are).

4. Who is really teaching a need to "fit in"? I was always taught to embrace the "things that make me special," a concept that I find to be pretty universal. Even if we WERE teaching people to "fit in," wouldn't being less attractive than those enhanced beauties make you... fit in?

I think we need to accept that, sometimes, the victims have few to blame but themselves. Once we acknowledge that, we can help them.

The reason only women bitch and whine about this issue, about how the society is shaping people and forcing crazy beauty ideals on young women and blaa, blaa, blaah is simple.

Women are herd animals. Women cannot function as individuals. Women always have a peer group they adhere to. Women are all about everybody doing the same thing and getting along. Nobody, in womens opinion, should ever do their own thing and go their own way.

Think about it. How many women you know who do their own thing and risk potential social isolation due to going their own way. Not that many right. Now think about how many men you know who do that.

Hell the whole history of the mankind is built on the fact that men went out of their way to go against the grain of the society Galileo Galilei, Christopher Columbus etc.

I know theres bound to be a response from some chick saying 'well i'm not like that'. I don't care. Women in general are like that and just because you aren't doesn't mean dick all.

Your rights end where my feelings begin.

[Shotgun 1]

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I think when getting involved with someone else, the question is not "Does this person have issues?" The question is "Are this person's issues compatible with my issues?"

Well I know that my beliefs are different from yours and that they suggest we stay far apart, but hey, I'm eccentric!

Where in the "middle" can I meet you?

I don't think I can answer your question without getting this thread moved to SC.