steve1 5
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My dad will see the gates of hell itself before he ever sees me again. He had his last chance a few years ago, but blew it. I know how it feels to be rejected like that. I regret his pain, but not my decision.
So much for forgivness. This is spoken like a true hypocritical born again Christian. pffffff what a joke.
Get over yourself. It is perfectly okay to decide that someone is too toxic to be in your life. Mark obviously regrets having to cut someone out of his life and cause that kind of pain to someone, but sometimes it's necessary for your own health when someone refuses to get help.
Sometimes part of acknowledging that you can't control someone else's actions is acknowledging that you don't have to stand around and watch and let them hurt you either.
You're missing the point, but I won't diverge the thread.
Moriuntur omnes, sed non omnes vixerunt.
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You're missing the point, but I won't diverge the thread.
You did that already when you jumped all over Mark. You are missing my point. One can forgive without subjecting themselves to further abuse by remaining in the situation, and I've never met a Christian who claimed to be perfect. He can forgive or not. That's his business, and you have no idea what's in his heart. You're not being helpful to this thread. He was.
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You're missing the point, but I won't diverge the thread.
You did that already when you jumped all over Mark. You are missing my point. One can forgive without subjecting themselves to further abuse by remaining in the situation, and I've never met a Christian who claimed to be perfect. He can forgive or not. That's his business, and you have no idea what's in his heart. You're not being helpful to this thread. He was.
He was being helpful by stating he will never forgive his father? How is that helpful? My point is, don't bring stupid religioninto the equation when you yourself aren't following one of its main derivatives.
I was only pointing out the hypocracy in the statement, trust me though, IMO MOST Christians are the biggest hypocrites out there.
Moriuntur omnes, sed non omnes vixerunt.
If I can use the "R" word one more time.....I'd just like to say that a person doesn't have to be religious to forgive.
I spent most of my life hating my Dad, because of what he was....a drunk. I used to hate the word forgiveness, because I couldn't do that. I wasn't anywhere close to being ready for that.
My wife used to say things like, "It couldn't have been any other way," when we talked about the evil things my father did. That would infuriate me even further, because I assumed he didn't have to be that way.
Then, after years of keeping all that anger and depression locked up inside, I began to look at my Dad's childhood....
He was born in a tar paper shack, and almost died that first month of life. He went to school as a 1st grader, without shoes....His mother was killed when he was young, and his Dad didn't want him. He was passed from relative to relative who didn't want him either. When he was old enough he started drinking. Alcohol took some of his pain away. Is there any wonder he was a drunk.
Empathy work such as this, can cause a person to look at things in a different light. That is what I needed to do to finally let that anger go. If anyone had talked to me about forgiveness five years ago, I would have bitten their head off. Forgiving him was exactly what I needed to do to recover. I didn't do it so much for him, as for myself....
Forgiveness is a waste of time though, until a person is ready. It may take years and years before a person is ready for that. Forgiveness should come at the end of the recovery process not the beginning. A person needs to get angry and feel the hurt they have experienced in therapy, before forgiveness is possible.
There are a lot of opinions on this. This is what the recovery process was like for me.....I hope this story helps someone else.
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